How Many Frogs?!!!

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Every so often I’ll read an amazing post that I thoroughly enjoy from start to finish, and it will trigger an idea. However, in this case I’m blatantly stealing.

This post, from Jolene over at ‘Valley Girl Gone Country’ was her response to a blog that she’d read about being single, and the types of men that she had dated.

http://valleygirlgonecountry.wordpress.com/2013/07/30/spinster-aka-hopeless-romantic/

It instantly brought back the horrors of some of my ex – boyfriends and dating experiences, and so I thought I’d create a list of things that have genuinely happened to me from the ‘frogs’ I have kissed. The above is a video of a South African Desert Frog, and when I saw it I couldn’t have found a more perfect example of some of these human frogs that I’ve had to deal with (It’s also hilarious and I almost bust an eyeball when I first saw it).

This may help you recognise potential frogs in advance in your own lives so you can AVOID THEM COMPLETELY.

1. I was dumped by a guy without warning. He let me know that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me by putting the phone down on me when I rang his house. No explanation. It transpired later (when his friend told me) that he was annoyed that I’d told a mutual friend that he was upset that his dog had died. I still don’t know how to respond to that.

2. I went on a weekend away with a boyfriend. We had a lovely day – we explored the area, had a laugh, ate a gorgeous meal and I was relaxed and happy when we returned to the hotel. I was, however, shattered, and wanted to go to sleep. When I told him I wasn’t ‘in the mood’, he had a tantrum, a full blown, stamping his feet tantrum. I went to sleep, and we returned home the following day in silence.

3. The same boyfriend invited me on a trip to New York. Turns out, his parents had paid for the trip as a birthday present, and they were coming too. I had no problem with that – his family were lovely people. Unfortunately, they were also strict Catholics and had booked two rooms in the hotel – one for me and his mother to sleep in, the other for him and his father. I was 25 years old at the time. Suffice to say, I didn’t go, and we broke up not long after.

4. I really liked a guy that I met through a mutual friend. After flirting for a while, we kissed. He stopped, looked me right in the face and said “I’m sorry, I’m gay.” This was the first time he’d told anyone. He was in his 30’s and had worked with my friend for several years, who had no idea. He chose the exact moment he kissed me to ‘come out.’ While I’m always pleased to hear somebody has the courage to do this, I’d have preferred it if he’d mentioned something sooner.

5. I was asked out by an extremely attractive man when I was in college. On our first date he picked me up in his car, and I noticed that he had tapes of Britney Spears and Les Miserables on his dashboard, which he said were his sisters. It was eventually revealed that the car actually belonged to his girlfriend.

6. I was excited to go on a second date with a man with whom I’d enjoyed a wonderful first. I spent ages getting ready. He took me to a Needle Museum. Yes, I spent two hours wandering round a museum dedicated to the history of sewing needles.

7. A man that I had started seeing started texting me one night, asking where I was. I was at home, and told him as such, but he didn’t believe me. He bombarded me with text messages for half an hour, accusing me of seeing somebody else (which I wasn’t), and only stopped when I threatened to call the police. The following morning, at SIX IN THE MORNING, he knocked on my front door, offering a Tupperware box of homemade vegetable soup as an apology. I simply closed the door.

8. When an ex and I broke up, he turned up at my friend’s house that she shares with her partner in tears. He ended up staying for a cup of tea, he put some shelves up for them and left. MY FRIEND LIVES TWO HUNDRED MILES AWAY FROM HIM. He drove two hundred miles so he could cry on my friend’s shoulder. She, and I never heard from him again, although a mutual friend informed me that he’s got three kids now.

9. And finally, the ultimate: a man that I was in a relationship with, who I was in love with, was conducting a relationship with me while his girlfriend of three years was travelling around Australia, attempting to deal with her brother’s suicide. I was unaware of this, and when I found out, I got rid. The girl moved back in with him upon her return.

So, it’s taken quite a few frogs to find my prince. For those of you losing hope, just think of these examples and remember this wonderful quote:

‘It’s better to be alone than be with someone who makes you feel alone…’

Video Credit: Dean Boshoff

89 thoughts on “How Many Frogs?!!!”

  1. I’m sorry but I busted up laughing over the dogman (#1) and soupman (#7)…..now, Needleman…NO HE DIDN’T!! did he have some needle/sewing fetish that you were unaware of? Men can be such asses!!

    Your stories reminded me of my first real FROG experience…….it was a couple days before Halloween, the guy I was dating told me that I better not show up at school dressed up in a costume. First…I thought he was kidding and second. no one is telling me what I can and cannot do. Now, I was head over heels for this guy, he was an upperclassman and I was just a puney freshman………..Halloween came and I walked to our meeting spot on campus all dressed up as a witch…not a scary witch, a cute witch. He looked at me and walked away. I was told later by his friend that we were broken up because I didn’t listen to him…………..news traveled fast and by the end of the day I had people coming up to me asking if i was the girl the was dumped because I dressed up for Halloween.

  2. Love it, myself never really had the list of dates, I had one serious girlfriend, her parents put a stop to that, like your Catholic bf, her parents were and watched me wit great suspicion, eventually brow beating her into dumping me.
    Then I met Angela 30th November 1981, married 13th February 1982 been married 31 years how about that 😀 They say that every past relationship is about learning by mistakes until you meet and kiss the right frog. 😀 I still look like a frog btw lol 😀

  3. WOW. Those are some real frogs! But you’ve got some great stories there too! Very entertaining post, and I LOVE the quote at the end. That’s kind of my motto, even though I’d never heard it before today.

  7. Every single one of your frog story was so brilliant! I’m glad you have found your prince. I too have kissed many (too?) frogs before finally laying my eyes on the ultimate frog.

  11. The world is full of frogs. This is true for those of us constantly having to deal with them. Thank goodness for the exit hole. One time I dated a man for 6 weeks. In that time he was trying to impress upon me that he was the owner of a 15ft yacht. Turned out he was 1/18th part owner. Plus, in that whole time he only ever gave me 1 kiss on the cheek. Inviting him over for dinner never happened because he claimed he had “ironing” to do. At last attempt to invite him, he never returned my call, never heard from him again. He virtually disappeared. Months later we crossed paths at a graduation ceremony and he walked past me without a blink. Yep, he was a tosser. FROG from mars!

  13. Hahaha I’ve had similar experiences, yours are just as crazy as mine!
    I had a guy who took me to mcdonalds for our first date, i had a guy get angry (like, all out war zone) at me on his birthday because i had to go and pick up his birthday present- so i never went back after i left, i dated another guy who told me he loved me on our first date – that was awkward. i’ve also been catfished…..by a girl hahaha. luckily im married now, to an amazing man who did none of the above.

  14. Seems like a lot of man hating going on here. I’ve been burned too you know. Sorry that we’re not all prince ‘s. And yes I’m ashamed of how men treat women often. I’m reminded of a quote from a fav movie of mine though, “that’s the way it goes…..but sometimes it goes the other way too ya’ know” . I would like to apologize for anytime I may not have been someone’s prince, and I hope everybody finds theirs. And yes I like your post, the frog is super cute too.

  15. The frog video was hilarious!! But yes I see where you’re coming from, I too have had my share of frogs. But if you haven’t met that special someone, give it time and I’ve learned to not look for it. I met my guy right after I got dumped by a guy who “didn’t want a relationship and just wanted to be friends…with benefits”. I mean really! My guy became my best friend before it ever turned into dating of any kind. Believe me its wonderful when you fall in love with your best friend. Good Luck 🙂

  16. THe #4…whaaaat?!?!? Hahahaha! Well look at me, after all the searching, I got married with a man that after 4 years realized we had to get out of his parents’s house or we will become human robots if not soon, then too soon. 😉 Great post!

  18. I feel sorry for you but I can’t help laughing while reading your post, haha
    oh my, the soup man!
    great post, thank you for sharing 😉

  19. It really seems that you have been through every kind of bad experience before ending up with right kind of person for you which would only mean that you were pre-destined to find the lucky one or perhaps it was your luck to find Him when the time was due.

  20. Wow, those are some great (and crazy!) stories!! So glad you have found you Bloke. 😉 And also, I appreciate you joining in the party today!

  21. Well, my first date with my wife of 39 years was an expedition to collect a specific species of frog in NY for the Bronx Zoo that was trying to re-establish it in a pond at the zoo. (I am a biologist.) She, a nurse, said sure she’d go and after being nearly arrested by the police, the date ended early. But she gave me more chances and fell in love with the natural world and we lived happily ever after!

  24. Lol loved this! We’ve all kissed tons of frogs, thankfully I was finally able to find my prince (my redneck prince? Lol) great blog!

  27. Blimey! It strikes me that there are many more than 50 ways to leave your lover… Your catalogue of ways needs a new song…

    On the writing side (and you did ask, though it always feels a but cruel giving writers criticism), it took quite a few lines to get going. I’d have liked it to start nearer the top.

    Keep going Suzie81

      • It is not totally sad. I meant that your story is complicated…and while you read it it makes you think, you know? The point is that I believe that you are going to be OK 🙂

      • I’ve been with my partner for years now and it’s going well, so I think so too! Thanks so much for your comment and your kind words I really appreciate it!

  30. I completely agree that it is better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you feel alone. Unfortunately that is my life right now. Completely alone and completely married. Makes no sense I know but I haven’t felt so alone ever and now is the worse time. Good luck to finding your prince.

    And don’t mind all the frogs along the way. They always make for great stories to tell =)

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