Every so often I’ll read an amazing post that I thoroughly enjoy from start to finish, and it will trigger an idea. However, in this case I’m blatantly stealing.
This post, from Jolene over at ‘Valley Girl Gone Country’ was her response to a blog that she’d read about being single, and the types of men that she had dated.
It instantly brought back the horrors of some of my ex – boyfriends and dating experiences, and so I thought I’d create a list of things that have genuinely happened to me from the ‘frogs’ I have kissed. The above is a video of a South African Desert Frog, and when I saw it I couldn’t have found a more perfect example of some of these human frogs that I’ve had to deal with (It’s also hilarious and I almost bust an eyeball when I first saw it).
This may help you recognise potential frogs in advance in your own lives so you can AVOID THEM COMPLETELY.
1. I was dumped by a guy without warning. He let me know that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me by putting the phone down on me when I rang his house. No explanation. It transpired later (when his friend told me) that he was annoyed that I’d told a mutual friend that he was upset that his dog had died. I still don’t know how to respond to that.
2. I went on a weekend away with a boyfriend. We had a lovely day – we explored the area, had a laugh, ate a gorgeous meal and I was relaxed and happy when we returned to the hotel. I was, however, shattered, and wanted to go to sleep. When I told him I wasn’t ‘in the mood’, he had a tantrum, a full blown, stamping his feet tantrum. I went to sleep, and we returned home the following day in silence.
3. The same boyfriend invited me on a trip to New York. Turns out, his parents had paid for the trip as a birthday present, and they were coming too. I had no problem with that – his family were lovely people. Unfortunately, they were also strict Catholics and had booked two rooms in the hotel – one for me and his mother to sleep in, the other for him and his father. I was 25 years old at the time. Suffice to say, I didn’t go, and we broke up not long after.
4. I really liked a guy that I met through a mutual friend. After flirting for a while, we kissed. He stopped, looked me right in the face and said “I’m sorry, I’m gay.” This was the first time he’d told anyone. He was in his 30’s and had worked with my friend for several years, who had no idea. He chose the exact moment he kissed me to ‘come out.’ While I’m always pleased to hear somebody has the courage to do this, I’d have preferred it if he’d mentioned something sooner.
5. I was asked out by an extremely attractive man when I was in college. On our first date he picked me up in his car, and I noticed that he had tapes of Britney Spears and Les Miserables on his dashboard, which he said were his sisters. It was eventually revealed that the car actually belonged to his girlfriend.
6. I was excited to go on a second date with a man with whom I’d enjoyed a wonderful first. I spent ages getting ready. He took me to a Needle Museum. Yes, I spent two hours wandering round a museum dedicated to the history of sewing needles.
7. A man that I had started seeing started texting me one night, asking where I was. I was at home, and told him as such, but he didn’t believe me. He bombarded me with text messages for half an hour, accusing me of seeing somebody else (which I wasn’t), and only stopped when I threatened to call the police. The following morning, at SIX IN THE MORNING, he knocked on my front door, offering a Tupperware box of homemade vegetable soup as an apology. I simply closed the door.
8. When an ex and I broke up, he turned up at my friend’s house that she shares with her partner in tears. He ended up staying for a cup of tea, he put some shelves up for them and left. MY FRIEND LIVES TWO HUNDRED MILES AWAY FROM HIM. He drove two hundred miles so he could cry on my friend’s shoulder. She, and I never heard from him again, although a mutual friend informed me that he’s got three kids now.
9. And finally, the ultimate: a man that I was in a relationship with, who I was in love with, was conducting a relationship with me while his girlfriend of three years was travelling around Australia, attempting to deal with her brother’s suicide. I was unaware of this, and when I found out, I got rid. The girl moved back in with him upon her return.
So, it’s taken quite a few frogs to find my prince. For those of you losing hope, just think of these examples and remember this wonderful quote:
‘It’s better to be alone than be with someone who makes you feel alone…’
Video Credit: Dean Boshoff
I’m sorry but I busted up laughing over the dogman (#1) and soupman (#7)…..now, Needleman…NO HE DIDN’T!! did he have some needle/sewing fetish that you were unaware of? Men can be such asses!!
Your stories reminded me of my first real FROG experience…….it was a couple days before Halloween, the guy I was dating told me that I better not show up at school dressed up in a costume. First…I thought he was kidding and second. no one is telling me what I can and cannot do. Now, I was head over heels for this guy, he was an upperclassman and I was just a puney freshman………..Halloween came and I walked to our meeting spot on campus all dressed up as a witch…not a scary witch, a cute witch. He looked at me and walked away. I was told later by his friend that we were broken up because I didn’t listen to him…………..news traveled fast and by the end of the day I had people coming up to me asking if i was the girl the was dumped because I dressed up for Halloween.
Ha! Oh dear!! That’s hilarious!
Wow!!! that has got to be the douchiest (if that’s even a word) move ever. Needless to say, Halloween is my fav holiday lol. He turned out to be a frog worth getting rid off. #jerk
Love it, myself never really had the list of dates, I had one serious girlfriend, her parents put a stop to that, like your Catholic bf, her parents were and watched me wit great suspicion, eventually brow beating her into dumping me.
Then I met Angela 30th November 1981, married 13th February 1982 been married 31 years how about that 😀 They say that every past relationship is about learning by mistakes until you meet and kiss the right frog. 😀 I still look like a frog btw lol 😀
Aww that’s lovely! Congratulations! I bet you don’t look like a frog!!!
Thank you, I was 18 and Angela was 17 in the November we met in. its been difficult sometimes, peed my mother off, she refused to come to our wedding and gave us 3 months before we would split, which I remind her every 13th Febuary……..I don’t know about that, I will take a photo and publish it somewhere, but I must admit I don’t look like a 50 year old, it must be because I feel 20 =)
There you go, me lol
Nope, no froggage there!
Thank you, your to kind, must be the good light lol =)
WOW. Those are some real frogs! But you’ve got some great stories there too! Very entertaining post, and I LOVE the quote at the end. That’s kind of my motto, even though I’d never heard it before today.
Thank you very much! I certainly can pick them!
Ribbit. Some right corkers there.:)x
Too right! I used to attract them!
Lots of ugly frogs (from inside). What is yours is put aside and you will get him. Good luck!
I’ve found one – I’ve been with him for years… He’s an amazing man. I talk about him a lot in my blog – I refer to him as ‘The Bloke.’
sorry. I just start to follow your blog.
That’s ok! Thanks for following I really appreciate it!
Scary froggies. Hope they realize frog legs are delicacies in some places.
Karma is a wonderful thing – some if them haven’t aged well 😉
Every single one of your frog story was so brilliant! I’m glad you have found your prince. I too have kissed many (too?) frogs before finally laying my eyes on the ultimate frog.
Thank you very much! I’m really pleased you found a good one!
Thanks so much for all your comments! I really appreciate it…
Reblogged this on suzie81's Blog and commented:
As I curl up on the couch with The Bloke, I thought I’d reblog this from a few weeks ago…
Love the way you talk about The Bloke in your blog,,,,
Haha! Thanks very much!
Just love it, Suzie. So many humorous frogs ! 🙂
The world is full of frogs. This is true for those of us constantly having to deal with them. Thank goodness for the exit hole. One time I dated a man for 6 weeks. In that time he was trying to impress upon me that he was the owner of a 15ft yacht. Turned out he was 1/18th part owner. Plus, in that whole time he only ever gave me 1 kiss on the cheek. Inviting him over for dinner never happened because he claimed he had “ironing” to do. At last attempt to invite him, he never returned my call, never heard from him again. He virtually disappeared. Months later we crossed paths at a graduation ceremony and he walked past me without a blink. Yep, he was a tosser. FROG from mars!
Sounds like a complete knob!!! What a pain in the backside that must have been!!!
Groan for No 5.
Hahaha I’ve had similar experiences, yours are just as crazy as mine!
I had a guy who took me to mcdonalds for our first date, i had a guy get angry (like, all out war zone) at me on his birthday because i had to go and pick up his birthday present- so i never went back after i left, i dated another guy who told me he loved me on our first date – that was awkward. i’ve also been catfished…..by a girl hahaha. luckily im married now, to an amazing man who did none of the above.
Wow! I bet the catfish thing in particular was really strange! You should write a post on it!!
Thanks for your comment!
Hahaha strange doesn’t even describe it! Yeah I might, i’m still a little embarrassed by it, i think even more so because it was a girl that did it lol If i write it, I’ll let you know 🙂
Seems like a lot of man hating going on here. I’ve been burned too you know. Sorry that we’re not all prince ‘s. And yes I’m ashamed of how men treat women often. I’m reminded of a quote from a fav movie of mine though, “that’s the way it goes…..but sometimes it goes the other way too ya’ know” . I would like to apologize for anytime I may not have been someone’s prince, and I hope everybody finds theirs. And yes I like your post, the frog is super cute too.
Sorry if you were offended – I promise I wasn’t man hating, just date hating. Would this help – this is a post that I wrote a while ago…
First I’d like to say, it wasn’t your post I was referring to. I thought that was funny. It just started to seem overwhelming as I read on, you obviously inspire people . And sorry if I sounded like a bull breaking out of the gate. The post you just gave me made me laugh and I look forward to reading more of your posts. Here’s my olive branch in the form of a cool dude I found on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_e0I05VSc0
I didn’t think that at all… I really appreciated your comment! It’s always difficult to judge somebody’s tone from text, but I always take it that their comments are positive unless they say ‘you’re sh*t’…
Sorry if you felt I was being defensive at all – I linked the post to give you another giggle…
No, not at all(the defensive part) and I’m not sure what the ‘linked’ post means. Bein’ that I’m new to computers, but thank you I’ll try to figure that out. Did my videolink work?
I hope I made that work… 🙂
What. A. Voice. Amazing… Who is that?
Great performer… Thanks for the videos!
Yup, I’m listening to ‘Wagon Wheel’ right now…. 🙂
The frog video was hilarious!! But yes I see where you’re coming from, I too have had my share of frogs. But if you haven’t met that special someone, give it time and I’ve learned to not look for it. I met my guy right after I got dumped by a guy who “didn’t want a relationship and just wanted to be friends…with benefits”. I mean really! My guy became my best friend before it ever turned into dating of any kind. Believe me its wonderful when you fall in love with your best friend. Good Luck 🙂
Aww! I’m with my best friend too – The Bloke. I talk about him a lot on here…
Thanks for your comments!
Ooh and I love the frog video too! So funny!!!
THe #4…whaaaat?!?!? Hahahaha! Well look at me, after all the searching, I got married with a man that after 4 years realized we had to get out of his parents’s house or we will become human robots if not soon, then too soon. 😉 Great post!
Haha! Thank you!!
Reblogged this on Kritter Net.
I feel sorry for you but I can’t help laughing while reading your post, haha
oh my, the soup man!
great post, thank you for sharing 😉
Thank you very much! It certainly was one of the more unusual things I’ve ever experienced!
It really seems that you have been through every kind of bad experience before ending up with right kind of person for you which would only mean that you were pre-destined to find the lucky one or perhaps it was your luck to find Him when the time was due.
That’s a really nice way to look at it!
Wow, those are some great (and crazy!) stories!! So glad you have found you Bloke. 😉 And also, I appreciate you joining in the party today!
Well, my first date with my wife of 39 years was an expedition to collect a specific species of frog in NY for the Bronx Zoo that was trying to re-establish it in a pond at the zoo. (I am a biologist.) She, a nurse, said sure she’d go and after being nearly arrested by the police, the date ended early. But she gave me more chances and fell in love with the natural world and we lived happily ever after!
That’s an amazing story! Congrats on having such a successful marriage!
Amazing post! And I was under the impression that no. 4, 6 and 7 existed only on television.
Haha! No, unfortunately they do exist in real life!!
I really enjoyed reading this! 🙂 I feel hopeful knowing we all have our fair share of frogs…I’m glad you found your Prince 🙂
Lol loved this! We’ve all kissed tons of frogs, thankfully I was finally able to find my prince (my redneck prince? Lol) great blog!
Thank you very much! I really appreciate it!
Oh my #7 cracked me up! I guess he didn’t realize chocolate would have put him in better standing with most women, not leftover veggie soup.
Haha, too funny. The needle museum. What a pr**k 🙂
Haha! Thanks – my thoughts exactly! Thanks for your feedback!
Blimey! It strikes me that there are many more than 50 ways to leave your lover… Your catalogue of ways needs a new song…
On the writing side (and you did ask, though it always feels a but cruel giving writers criticism), it took quite a few lines to get going. I’d have liked it to start nearer the top.
Keep going Suzie81
That’s great thank you very much!!
Your life story is really sad, but where is hope, there is a possibility!!! 🙂
It wasn’t meant to be totally sad I think, but thanks so much for your comment! I’ll have a look at how I’ve written it!
It is not totally sad. I meant that your story is complicated…and while you read it it makes you think, you know? The point is that I believe that you are going to be OK 🙂
I’ve been with my partner for years now and it’s going well, so I think so too! Thanks so much for your comment and your kind words I really appreciate it!
the big question is, did any of them kiss like a frog?? great read, thank you for sharing!!
Haha! Well, one or two needed some technique lessons!
I completely agree that it is better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you feel alone. Unfortunately that is my life right now. Completely alone and completely married. Makes no sense I know but I haven’t felt so alone ever and now is the worse time. Good luck to finding your prince.
And don’t mind all the frogs along the way. They always make for great stories to tell =)
That’s a very honest thing to say… I did find my prince, we’ve been together for about 5 years now. Are things not good with your partner?
Unfortunately they aren’t good at all. I keep hoping for change but my frog is more of a serpant
I’m so sorry, that’s a horrible situation to be in!
You have no idea :/. But I’m happy to know u found someone great 🙂
Have you talked to anyone about it? Family? Friends? My mum was in a horrible marriage to my dad for 23 years – she only stayed with him because she thought that that’s what was best for me and my sisters, but we wished they’d have got divorced years before!
It’s easier financially to be with him to be honest. I don’t have family to talk to. And friends never seem to understand.
Well if it helps I’m always around for a chat on here if you need to let off some steam…
Thanks. I’m letting off steam all the time through my blog 🙂
That’s exactly the same reason why I have a blog too – it’s a very supportive community and a very therapeutic experience!!
hey suzi the frog was really luking nice
Great bunch of stories and the quote is spot on – you have yto enjoy yourself as you. Cheers for sharing Suzie, MM 🍀
Thank you very much!