Most people are guilty of telling lies in life, whether they are used to spare someone’s feelings, save face, avoiding trouble or making oneself feel better.There’s a million different levels of lies, from telling a friend that she looks good in a dress that closely resembles a trash bag, to the monumental porkies told throughout history by various world leaders.
However, I was reminded of a little lie I was told a few months ago by a friend I haven’t seen in a while when she described her new boyfriend’s appendage as ‘enormous.’ I smiled to myself because I’d met him before, and as lovely as he is, he’s a very short man (in height). Consequently, their relationship was short – lived and her description suddenly changed by about five inches. Perhaps it wasn’t a lie she told, more of an exaggeration, but aside from the fact that I actually had no interest in knowing intimate details about her boyfriend, she felt the need to lie in order to make herself, and him, look good.
I thought about other silly lies that I have been told in my lifetime: here are the best examples…
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
Fifteen minutes actually means forty. My mother is notoriously late for everything, to the point where my sisters and I add a little bit of time onto any event in order to accommodate the fact that she is guaranteed to arrive at least twenty minutes late.
“You look fantastic!”
I allowed the hairdresser to perm my hair many years ago. After several hours I excitedly looked in the mirror, expecting long, blonde flowing curls. Instead, I looked like I was auditioning for Annie. My hair was so tightly curled that it formed a big round globe shape on the top of my head. I was devastated and when she uttered those words I simply burst into tears. Never again.
“Let me do your eyebrows for you, I’ll make them look really good!”
Long story short, I ended up with a permanently surprised look on my face for about three weeks.
“It’s only going to be a quick trip…”
My friend is a fashionable and attractive person who asked me to go on a quick shopping trip with her. She knows I only shop on my own because I dislike waiting for hours while others try on items that they inevitably don’t buy, so I only agreed when she assured me that she would be quick. I returned home six hours later. She’d bought one dress.
“I’ll bring it back later today…”
Suffice to say, two years later, it still hasn’t been returned to me.
“No, of course I didn’t tell anyone.”
Lies. I confided. They blabbed.
“Of course he likes you! He told me.”
What she forgot to mention was that she had been sleeping with him for some time. I’m still don’t know why she didn’t tell me to begin with – we were eighteen and I’d only met him a few times…
” Sorry, I only just got your message…”
I’ve been told this many times. They forget that it’s possible to see if somebody has read a message…
“I think it was really good, but…”
I’ve had this said to me several times. This was their polite way of telling me I’d done a rubbish job at something.
When it comes to lies, big or small, I suppose the best thing to remember is this:
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
― Mark Twain