We Can Learn To Love Again – Why No Relationship Is A Waste Of Time

The last song I listened to was ‘Just Give Me A Reason’ by Pink, featuring Nate Ruess. The third line from the end is ‘we can learn to love again’.

My longest relationship has been with The Bloke. I’ve not had a massive amount of relationships in my dating life – I would say that I’ve had five that I would consider to be significant (The Bloke included) and of those I have been in love with three of them (The Bloke included) and truly heartbroken twice.

Each relationship was with a different individuals with his own interests and passions and all but one were extremely nice, hard-working people. Similarly, they each had different annoying habits and each had different expectations of what they wanted from our relationship.

Boyfriend 1 was a nice guy. We spent the evenings in his room (lit by a red lava lamp) watching cult films – he introduced me to fantastic films like ‘Clerks’. He was the first man to buy me chocolates.

Boyfriend 2 was a nasty, cheating sociopath and a compulsive liar.

Boyfriend 3 was the closest I’ve come to love at first sight. We met playing in the pit for ‘Guys and Dolls’ (I was lead violin, he was lead sax) and we clicked immediately – by the end of the week we were in a very intense relationship. He was a jazz saxophonist and extremely passionate about his music. I visited various jazz clubs to watch him perform, I attended jazz concerts with him, we visited his family regularly and went to lots of shows. Unfortunately, the initial intensity of the relationship meant that after a year there was nothing to build up to, and to be honest, he was quite immature and my expectations of him were too high.

Boyfriend 4 was the one who broke my heart. However, before his double life was revealed we spent weekends travelling to different parts of the country. We had meals in country pubs, went to the beach and took walks around the countryside.

Boyfriend 5 is The Bloke.

What I learnt from those relationships was that they taught me what I want and similarly what I don’t want from a man. I was able to experience and learn new things from each person, and aside from Boyfriend 2 I laughed and had fun with them. Despite Boyfriend 4’s attempt to rip my heart out, The Bloke is absolute proof that it is possible to ‘learn to love again.’

Picture credits: Banksy
The rest are from Google Images

71 thoughts on “We Can Learn To Love Again – Why No Relationship Is A Waste Of Time

  1. Love this and completely agree with you…all relationships that had good things in them are good….beautiful and respectful too.

  2. Great outlook! Sometimes our expectations are too high, then again sometimes they are not high enough. I didn’t find real true lasting love until I gave up and stopped searching for it. Then it found me.

    • I fond exactly the same thing! I totally agree with you – thanks so much for your comment! I would have loved to write so much more but I only had 15 minutes!

  3. Brilliant post! I wish every heart broken teenage girl could read it. As I often tell my daughter, ‘You will break a lot of hearts, and you will have yours broken, too. Grieve, learn from it, and move forward! 🙂

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      • Hey dear, you are younger and probably more hopeful. Been married 3 times and more dating that you could count. Now I am very happy where I am: ALONE! It’s all good! I love your posts! I live vicariously through people like you!

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  13. It’s a good thing everyone is so different. It’d be boring otherwise. You give me hope with your finding the Bloke. I’m no longer looking. However, should a good one come my way, why not? hee hee… Best not hold onto my breath… lmao!

    • I think the problem is so many women are doing everything they can to hang onto men, that they are feeling like they can get away with worse and worse behavior without being accountable. I can’t tolerate bad behavior; or abuse of any kind. That seems to be so prevalent these days. I was in 28 year relationship and came out to this??? It’s crazy. I can’t deal! lol

      • I agree! Most bad behaviors are clearly “attention seeking” behaviors. Some are embedded within mental imbalance. I’ve been single for over a decade now and I’m happy this way because connecting with a good one seems only imaginary. Meh. Ce la vi!

      • Huh! I never got this reply. The imbalanced ones are either male or female, dependent on the perspective at the moment in time. I was being general.

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      • …I had to think about that one for a moment. I don’t have experience with either of those kinds of men. In fact my only REAL experience was only w/ one.

        I was in a relationship w/ the same man for 28 of my 48 years. But I see enough of what you other women have endured. I’m sure there’s good men out there. I think I’ll just wait until they come to me though. lol

        good luck with your bloke.

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  16. I’m glad you found your Bloke 🙂

    Granted, I am probably not in the right mindspace to give a completely unbiased answer, but sometimes a person can only take so much heartbreak and disappointment in life. I do like the sentiment though 🙂

  17. My first GF was good / second GF was great, third GF was a disaster – which is probably why I have been married to the dear lady for the last 37 years :o) Only three girl-friends and the third was the last. Did I learn anything – perhaps I learned to be patient and perhaps things I needed to know but didn’t know I needed to know them, so that I was ready for GF No. 3. . But then, being an only boy in a house of sisters (4 – five females when you include mother), might have helped just a tad.

  18. Definitely agreed. I also know from experience you have to love yourself and have self worth to really make a relationship last. My hubs and I have been together for almost six years, and it takes work to keep things together sometimes. But we love each other wholly, and that includes the faults too.

  19. You’re right! By dating different people you learn what you like and don’t like. I’m going through some things with my boyfriend right now so if this doesn’t work out, I honestly think that will be it for. We are just very different people but I really love him so I stay. He treats my son well but my son still wants his father around but he is gone. I’ve just been in the dating game too long and I won’t be able to anymore. I’m glad you’ve found happiness.

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