At the end of 2013 I saw an article that caught my eye. It turns out, it also caught the eyes of millions of others and I watched it closely as it has went viral, spawning thousands of comments that both praised and vilified the author in equal measure.
I don’t have an opinion on the age that somebody should get married and I am certainly not using this as an opportunity to attack the author. A friend of mine, who married at the age of 22 and who now has two beautiful children once told me that she wanted to share her life with her husband and children rather than living it on her own first, and I thought it was a lovely sentiment to have. However, ’23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged At 23′ was a title that instantly appealed to me – at thirty-three years old I am not married, despite the fact that I have lived with The Bloke for quite a few years – and because of this I had an expectation that this post was going to offer some fantastic ideas or life advice that would inspire me.
Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case. The list of things that were given, such as eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting, disappoint your parents, hangout naked in front of a window, cut your hair, make out with a stranger and sign up for CrossFit wasn’t just uninspiring, it was downright silly (and in some cases, dangerous). I have eaten a jar of Nutella in one sitting, I have disappointed my parents (many times), I have cut my hair, but I found it ridiculous to list these as an alternative to engagement.
However boring this may sound, being an adult means having some level of responsibility, regardless of marital status. Therefore, I created my own list of things that I believe that everyone should do before they are twenty-three, whether they are married or not.
1. Gain as many qualifications as possible. These don’t have to be academic qualifications, there are lots of vocational alternatives.
2. Learn to be financially knowledgable. This may not necessarily mean financial independence, but it is important to know how to pay bills, live to a budget and understand how a bank account works.
3. Learn to cook from scratch and prepare nutritious meals with minimal ingredients. Good for the health, good for the bank balance.
4. Know how to look after yourself. Be able to keep yourself, your clothes and your home clean (you’d be surprised how many nineteen year olds that I know that still don’t have a concept of this).
5. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin, and being alone with yourself.
6. Know your alcohol limit. Just occasionally, be able to stop drinking before you go over it. It doesn’t stop you from staying out until 6.00am, it just means you can do so without having vomit in your hair.
7. In between disappointing your parents, which will usually at some point be inevitable, take the time to appreciate them and tell them how much they mean to you.
8. Occasionally, take the time to do absolutely nothing but indulge yourself. Rest, relax, recharge your batteries. Have a long hot bath, read a book, sleep all day.
9. If you can, travel as much as possible with people you love. It doesn’t have to be abroad – explore the sights and sounds of your home country. Road trip, anyone?
10. Give your time to a charitable cause.
11. Go out in fancy dress.
12. Learn at least the basic elements of a foreign language. It’s rude the assume that the rest of the world will speak English.
13. See your favourite singer/band in concert.
14. Forgive (although this doesn’t mean you have to forget) and move on.
15. Spend 24 hours without any media – no internet, tv, phone or consoles. See what you accomplish in your boredom.
16. Learn to say no, to yourself and to others.
17. Get rid of that one rude, inconsiderate friend who makes your time together a chore. Best thing I ever did.
18. Take photographs. Lots of photographs.
19. Get a job working in the service/retail industry. Trust me, after eighteen months of working at McDonalds and three years working in a nightclub, I’ll never be rude to a waitress, shop assistant or barman ever.
20. Understand that if you really want something, you’re going to have to start working for it, or be really good at asking for it.
21. Spontaneously do something that you have never done before.
22. Splurge on something that you’ve always wanted.
23. Ultimately, don’t allow fear to stop you from doing something that you have always wanted to accomplish. It’s better to try and fail than to wonder about the ‘what ifs.’
What about you guys? Are there life lessons you believe you should follow from an early age?
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Thank you for visiting my blog and for liking one of my posts! Blessings, Natalie 🙂
You’re very welcome Natalie – lovely to meet you!
Wow, I love your list! I just made my own for when i turn 22, got a lot of things to do to keep me busy! #18 is a good one definitely! Wish I’d done started this at an earlier age!!
Thank you! I’ll go and check out your list now!
Still working towards rule 1,8,9,10 and 16…I love women who have their stuff together..thanks for liking a post on my blog..you’re amazing!!!
Thank you! Glad you like it!
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Quite a list, and relevant at any age. It took me time to learn 5, do 18 often have done 19 and agree with you and am working on 23.
Thank you – glad you found it relevant! I worry when i put specific numbers on a post that it will be taken literally…
What a wonderful post Suzie with lots of tips to do before you’re 23, incidently these tips could apply whatever your age and that’s the beauty of them. I particularly agree with No.19 – get a job in the service retail industry, I did this at Xmas and I shall never be rude to a shop assistant! Generally do as much as you can including voluntary work, it widens your experiences and that can only be a good thing.
Totally agree there my lovely! Volunteering makes you appreciate what the working world is like…
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Love this! I’m 23 in July… Eek! So enjoying this list!
Thank you! Are there many that you have achieved already?
More than I thought which makes me happy 🙂 The first four are exceptional ones! #5 will be the hardest for me, I think- It’s a constant win-lose feat for me. And #17 is just genius! I haven’t seen that before but I actually did that one and it was totally worth it hehe 🙂 Thank you!
18. Maybe amend this to include non-selfies as well 😉
Your list is so much better!
Haha! Thanks lovely!
Great list, unfortunately I splurge on something I have always wanted…ALL the time.
Haha! I would too if i had the money… I certainly didn’t at 23!
I haven’t mastered number 6 yet… 😀
Yeah… me too… You’d think I’d have learned by now and yet occasionally I’ll still be caught off guard…
The difference between your post and the other is that you were writing to those who are or want to be adults. The other post was written by someone who is still an adolescent—no matter what her numeric age. I’m seeing more and more twenty-somethings who still behave as if they are in high school. Is that the result of helicopter parents? Or maybe parents who gave no true guidance?
Oh my gosh don’t even get me started haha! I wonder what I would have written at 23?
Reblogged this on ayy lmao.
Thank you for the reblog!