At the end of 2013 I saw an article that caught my eye. It turns out, it also caught the eyes of millions of others and I watched it closely as it has went viral, spawning thousands of comments that both praised and vilified the author in equal measure.
I don’t have an opinion on the age that somebody should get married and I am certainly not using this as an opportunity to attack the author. A friend of mine, who married at the age of 22 and who now has two beautiful children once told me that she wanted to share her life with her husband and children rather than living it on her own first, and I thought it was a lovely sentiment to have. However, ’23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged At 23′ was a title that instantly appealed to me – at thirty-three years old I am not married, despite the fact that I have lived with The Bloke for quite a few years – and because of this I had an expectation that this post was going to offer some fantastic ideas or life advice that would inspire me.
Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case. The list of things that were given, such as eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting, disappoint your parents, hangout naked in front of a window, cut your hair, make out with a stranger and sign up for CrossFit wasn’t just uninspiring, it was downright silly (and in some cases, dangerous). I have eaten a jar of Nutella in one sitting, I have disappointed my parents (many times), I have cut my hair, but I found it ridiculous to list these as an alternative to engagement.
However boring this may sound, being an adult means having some level of responsibility, regardless of marital status. Therefore, I created my own list of things that I believe that everyone should do before they are twenty-three, whether they are married or not.
1. Gain as many qualifications as possible. These don’t have to be academic qualifications, there are lots of vocational alternatives.
2. Learn to be financially knowledgable. This may not necessarily mean financial independence, but it is important to know how to pay bills, live to a budget and understand how a bank account works.
3. Learn to cook from scratch and prepare nutritious meals with minimal ingredients. Good for the health, good for the bank balance.
4. Know how to look after yourself. Be able to keep yourself, your clothes and your home clean (you’d be surprised how many nineteen year olds that I know that still don’t have a concept of this).
5. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin, and being alone with yourself.
6. Know your alcohol limit. Just occasionally, be able to stop drinking before you go over it. It doesn’t stop you from staying out until 6.00am, it just means you can do so without having vomit in your hair.
7. In between disappointing your parents, which will usually at some point be inevitable, take the time to appreciate them and tell them how much they mean to you.
8. Occasionally, take the time to do absolutely nothing but indulge yourself. Rest, relax, recharge your batteries. Have a long hot bath, read a book, sleep all day.
9. If you can, travel as much as possible with people you love. It doesn’t have to be abroad – explore the sights and sounds of your home country. Road trip, anyone?
10. Give your time to a charitable cause.
11. Go out in fancy dress.
12. Learn at least the basic elements of a foreign language. It’s rude the assume that the rest of the world will speak English.
13. See your favourite singer/band in concert.
14. Forgive (although this doesn’t mean you have to forget) and move on.
15. Spend 24 hours without any media – no internet, tv, phone or consoles. See what you accomplish in your boredom.
16. Learn to say no, to yourself and to others.
17. Get rid of that one rude, inconsiderate friend who makes your time together a chore. Best thing I ever did.
18. Take photographs. Lots of photographs.
19. Get a job working in the service/retail industry. Trust me, after eighteen months of working at McDonalds and three years working in a nightclub, I’ll never be rude to a waitress, shop assistant or barman ever.
20. Understand that if you really want something, you’re going to have to start working for it, or be really good at asking for it.
21. Spontaneously do something that you have never done before.
22. Splurge on something that you’ve always wanted.
23. Ultimately, don’t allow fear to stop you from doing something that you have always wanted to accomplish. It’s better to try and fail than to wonder about the ‘what ifs.’
What about you guys? Are there life lessons you believe you should follow from an early age?
You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @Suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks, my Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks and my Instagram page http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks
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i love your blog..thanks alot for liking and supporting my work…
Thank you!
Reblogged this on Information Technology Professional & Father and commented:
Agreed!
Thanks for liking my post, Suzie
Reblogged this on Steffica's World and commented:
Yes, yes, and yes again!
Loved this post! I have a couple of years left before I turn 23 and there are a few more in this list that I need to get done by then. Cheers!
Thank you! I’m really pleased you enjoyed it!
Fantastic post. I love it. Too many people seem to equate “enjoying life” with being irresponsible. There’s no reason that has to be the case.
Great list for anyone.
Wish I read this before I was 23 😦 Now I’m in my 30’s but never to late to add some to my list. #19 totally agree! Great post Suzie, I love the way you write.
Thanks so much! Really pleased you liked it! I took a lot longer than 23 years to do that list!
Great post. I’m 32 as well and super proud of all the things I’ve achieved in my little life so far with lots more goals to reach for. A lovely positive post. #SundayStars
Thanks so much for your lovely comment! I’m glad you’ve been able to achieve things that you are proud of – it’s what makes life worthwhile!
Sure does. I love your positive outlook. Have a super christmas 🙂
Thank you! And you!
This is a great (and incredibly popular – well done!) post. Some really good ideas and would be very impressed if someone did manage these by 23. #sundaystars
Thanks so much! I’ve been really pleased with the response I’ve had to it!
I’m 35 and am also very pleased with my life so far! I don’t sweat stuff I haven’t done, I live for everything that happens to me and I’m super happy!!!! Great post 🙂 Jess x #sundaystars
Thank you very much! It sounds like you have it covered!
I’m recently 23 and although I’d say I have a good handle on things, I’m definitely still learning when it comes to finances (#2) and saying “no” (#16). I live at home with my parents to save money while I pay off school-loans, and I’ve just started a budget, it’s hard but it definitely is helping. I think that being grateful to parents (#7) is so hard for some young adults, but I’ve grown to really appreciate them and realize all they’ve given up for me. I really liked this post, much better than most posts I’ve seen.
Thanks so much! I’m 33 and have just about got through this list, but it was inspired by a post that went viral and it didn’t deserve to…
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Hey Susie!
I remember that FPd post and thought it was ridiculous. It was back when a lot of ridiculous posts got Pressed. I love your list!
Thanks Susie! It really annoyed me how popular it was…
This is a great list! I’m 23, and feeling proud that I’ve done pretty much all these things. Just need to see a few more people in concert..
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This is a great post. My daughter is three, but I’ll make sure she reads this list in the future as it is great advice for life.
Thanks so much – really appreciate it!
Number 19, yes!! 😂 xxx 👍
Thank you!
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Will turn 23 on Saturday.
Am so happy i went through your lovely words and realized that i have nearly accomplished these things before my 23.
You rock with this blog!
Kisses and good luck for your future inspiration to guide younger people.
Thank you Suzie for all your presentation I have been so very busy did not have the time to read all your wonderful story. For your success daily
Great list! It’s quite a while ago that I turned 23 (a long time ago), and even if I might sound like my own parents in saying this, but the one advice I would give my younger self is to take more advantage of the huge amount of free time that one still has at 23. I probably would travel around the world for a year after school. Later in life, one won’t have so much time at one’s disposition.
Thank you very much!
Great post. As someone who used to work as a checkout girl in a supermarket I strongly agree with 19!!
Haha! Thanks – after 18 months at McDonalds I can totally relate!
We were just talking about how the human brain isn’t even fully formed until age 24ish, it is amazing how your perspective changes as you mature.
Great list, especially the be comfortable in your own skin…so necessary.
This is fantastic. I think that this goes for everybody at every age. Anyone out there reading this and your past 23, you need to get on this.
Great suggestions for everyone, regardless of age. Before getting married and having kids, my girlfriends and I would jump into our old cars and head off for a couple of days to just get away from everything. It was a combination of no technology, cooking together from scratch and recharging our batteries that just made us instantly feel so much better, and more focused to tackle big projects at work the next week.
Thank you very much!
Great suggestions! Though I’m already 23, I’m going to start focusing on some of these things that I don’t already.
Christine | DimesandDonuts.com
Love this list such great suggestions! I’m definitely going to try an get as many qualifications as possible and give time to a charity. Although I’ve already volunteered for the FAST charity (http://fastromania.eu/), it was so much fun and a lovely experience. Volunteering is such a wonderful thing to do!
Emily
http://paperchainblog.blogspot.co.uk/
Some really good points here 🙂 I haven’t yet been out in fancy dress tho so I think I’m going to give that one a go 🙂
Fatima 🙂
Hi Suzie
That good ole Carpe Diem again, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carpe_diem
Though I prefer the thought as expressed in Robert Herrick’s “To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time”, that is:
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.
Kind regards
Geoffrey
Thank you!
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I love this!!! I turn 23 in Sept so I had to read this. Thank goodness most of this stuff I can do. But this is a really good list! 🙂
~ Sanaa
http://www.sanaabrooks.com
Thank you – I’m glad you liked it!
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I think it might take a lot longer to fulfill as many of the items on a list like this one before the age of 23 or even 32.
I’m almost seventy and I have done many of them, and I’m not done yet. Maybe the title should have said, “Things to do before you die” or “How much can you accomplish before your last breath?”
:o)
I like the idea. I feel like I had accomplished a lot of them by 23, I just understand it more in my 30’s…
Fantastic list! Well thought out and IT deserves to go viral!
Thanks! I posted this 18 months ago and I still get at least 30 views a day on it… I don’t think it will ever go viral though – there’s so many of these sorts of lists out there I think everyone is sick of them by now! It’s my favourite post…
It’s I while since my twenty-third birthday (!), but I’m fairly sure that I’d done all of these except for working in the service/retail industry. I believe I scored a reasonable alternative by working as an assistant dairyman on a farm in the Highlands of Scotland. You try bring the 210 head of cattle into the parlour to start milking at 6 am, working 15 hours a day, 7 days a week. Certainly trains you to keep your sense of humour at all times, and you soon understand why dairymen wear flat caps and waxed jackets! 😉
I can imagine! I think having a job like that is such a brilliant way of learning what hard work is!
I have often said I wish I understood the value of money and how to set things up financially better when I was 23. So much of my struggles later in life was because of lack of understand of how to make money work for you. That was huge.. It wasn’t until my mid to late 30’s that I began to understand how to do that by then I was deep into my marriage with 2 children to raise so it was harder to do it then. As for a blog that either people read or one I feel great about…is one that I wrote about …Michael Jordan vs Muhammad Ali who was bigger? It is the most read post all year it is read at least once a day by someone.I am grateful for the interest that post has sparked on my blog.
Ooh that sounds really interesting! Could you send me the link?
I agree about the finances – if I had saved a little when I could and not wasted it on crap I would be in a much better situation now!
https://smallthoughtsinasportsworld.wordpress.com/2013/02/15/michael-jordan-vs-muhammad-ali-who-was-bigger/
Let me know what you think.
Thanks! I’ll check it out!
Wow, I’m so happy you shared this again, I love it! x
Thanks so much Ettie – I’m really pleased you like it!
No worries, such an inspiring post!
It would be wonderful to do all these things before the age of 23. Sadly, many of these achievements only come with maturity.
I agree, which is why I wanted to put it into a post as these were the things I wish someone had drummed into me from an early age…
Me too. Seems like I did all the wrong things before I was 23! Still, at least I’ve got them out of my system 😉
Haha! I did the same – not my finest moments but now I know what I want and am working hard to achieve it, while a lot of my friends who settled down very young are a bit restless…
What a wonder and thoughtful post, Suzie! My God do I ever wish someone had given me this profound advice MANY years ago. They are like guideposts; steering one in the correct direction. Fantastic post, my dear! Cher xo
Thanks so much Cher!
🙂 xo
Reblogged this on christinasribena and commented:
A fun and insightful post 🙂 Unfortunately I haven’t accomplished all 23 of these 23 things to do before turning 23…however…I’ve still got time to try! 😉
Great advice! Thanks for sharing. I just printed for my girls, ages 18 and 15. Always good to read from someone else many of the things I preach:)
Wise words!!! Wish I had all this stuff figured out when I was 23.
Thank you! Me too – it’s something i certainly try and teach my older students!
Great list. I worked as a cocktail waitress and barmaid while in college and I am always nice to anyone waiting on me and tend to overtip. No doubt because I was once there.
Thank you! It’s a tough job isn’t it – very little gratitude involved, particularly when dealing with angry members of the public!
Great advice which I wish I’d followed way back when I was 22!
Thanks Jan – me too haha! Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn’t it haha!
It’s probably too late for me since I’m 42, but I think most of these still apply to an old year old.
It’s never too late Ben! Love the ‘old year old’ idea too!
Reading this again gives me an idea! I’m going to write a 50 Things to Do Before You’re 50! I hope you don’t mind me borrowing your idea a little bit. I’ll link to yours of course. Hi Suzie! Hope you’re having a nice weekend!
Of course – your blog has inspired so many of my posts! And when I say inspired, I mean Ive blatantly stolen it haha! How are you Phil?
I’m good Suzie. Of course it may take awhile to think of 50 things to do before 50. Now you can do a list of things to do before 40 !
Oh no Ive got yeeeeeeears yet haha! 😉
That’s what I thought!
Haha! Ok, I’ve only got 6, but let’s not thing about that yet!
I know. I’m just teasing you. But time really does fly by. I think the older you get the faster it goes. Remember when as a kid a summer seemed like a year?
I remember that i had three months off one year because my school changed the holiday system, and my sisters and I were bored…
In the States it’s typically about 10 weeks
We only get six…
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Great list. I especially love #23. Ultimately, don’t allow fear to stop you from doing something that you have always wanted to accomplish. It’s better to try and fail than to wonder about the ‘what ifs.
Absolutely! Couldn’t agree more, it’s just a shame it took me thirty years to figure that out haha!