I’m Not Ready For Her To Leave Yet

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The minute she was released from her cage at the RSPCA centre, she walked over to me and pushed her head against my hand.

“I want her. Definitely this one.”

Two weeks later she arrived at my house and after she had finished exploring she promptly settled down on the back of the couch and went to sleep.

Since 2002 this bundle of fluff has been my constant in life, my little companion that has seen me through the best and the worst of times. When my parents went through a horrific divorce, she was there. She greeted me upon my return home after I graduated. She sat on my lap as I typed my CV and cover letter for my first job application, and celebrated with me when I was successful. She has assisted in many a late night marking session by chewing my pens, sitting on my books and batting my worksheets around the room. She was there when I started a new relationship and she was there when it ended. She’s attempted to eat Christmas dinner with me on many occasions, grumbling at me when she’s been removed from the table. She’s cheered my family and friends up when they’ve visited and has taken great delight in waking my mother up at 5.00am just so she can have breakfast, thanking her later by vomiting on the floor. She’s killed many a stuffed mouse, has turned golden retrievers ten times her size into cowering messes in the corner of the room and makes sure that the other two know who is boss. She’s stubborn and she’s a grumpy old mare.

Most importantly, she had loved me unconditionally and without judgement, jumping on me every night to wish me goodnight before going to her own bed. She has never put me down or made me feel bad about myself, always greeting me at the door with a chirp and expectations of a cuddle. When others have left me, she’s never failed to be there to remind me that there are more important things in life. She’s my little friend.

The vet says that she’s ill. It could be a tumour, feline leukaemia or cancer, but we won’t know until she’s had further tests. This isn’t allowed to happen – I can’t protect her from this.

The fact of the matter is that I’m simply not ready for her to leave me yet…

Note: Please forgive me for the lack of replies to your lovely comments… It’s been a ridiculously busy time but I wanted to say thank you very much for being so supportive…

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56 thoughts on “I’m Not Ready For Her To Leave Yet

  1. I know just how you feel I have on the couch with me just now are my two babies, Timmy and Tiger, brothers both 14, Tiger is starting to walk slower, he is standing slower, Timmy follows my wife around, he sleeps on his mat outside the bedroom door all night and whines like a new born baby at 5am on the dot for his prawns, he is joined by Tiger his share.
    Some people look at me when I say they are part of my family, along with Mehmet the smelly dog life would not be the same without them. So my heart is with you in these worrying time, they are just like children, they need the care and love and they give us it right back. Hang in their Suzie, Hang in there Wobbly 🙂

  2. We’re never ready. My heart aches for you both. We have been down this road too many times, and it never gets easier. The only solace is that you are doing the best for her, and if the sentence is a hard one, you will choose wisely, and she knows it. Animals love us unconditionally, and that extends to accepting and approving of our decisions for their welfare. You will never want her to suffer. Please know that animals accept transitioning with more wisdom than we do. Bless you both.

  3. This was just too sad to read – I’ve been there before and know how truly awful it feels. Just don’t lose hope.

    Hugs and best wishes to you both.

  4. This is so sad. We lost our love Esme the day after Christmas in 2007. She was only 10. She had been ill for a while. It took me forever to get another kitty. And now my heart is totally taken over by Maggie. She’s comforted me through all my trials and loves me no matter what. I’m saying a huge prayer to the cat goddess that whatever is wrong with Wobbly is treatable and that she will live many many years to hug you. Whatever the diagnosis, she knows you love her beyond belief.

  5. Huge hugs. I know that pain- and the feeling of helplessness. Hoping that there are treatments available and that your little girl rests well in the comfort of your love.

  6. Wow, unbelievable, I wrote my post tonight unrelated to yours.

    Pets are our family and we love them as a member of our family. I’m so sorry to hear about this and my thoughts are with you.

  7. This breaks my heart. I have two cats myself, they’re my first pets ever, and I can only imagine how you feel right now. My thoughts are with you and your little baby fluff.

  8. Oh Suzie. I’m sorry. I’ve grown up with a cat always by my side and every single parting was harder than the next. I’ll keep you in my prayers, and your precious little kitty too.

  9. Suzie, so many thoughts and prayers for you and your cat. Praying that it is not as serious as the vet thinks. It is so hard to see a beloved pet suffer and maybe have to make a difficult decision. Been there several times with my dogs and even my mule. I cried for days each time I had to make the decision.

  10. Oh Suzie, I am so sorry she is sick. Both my dogs suffered from Cancer and I definitely wasn’t ready for them to leave. I even thought I heard my dog Tyson walking down the hallway a few times while I was home alone.
    I will pray for her.

  11. Hey Suzie,
    I’m sorry to hear about your girl and I hope that the test results come back with positive news. Pets bring joy to our lives and there’s no doubt that life would be pretty bleak without them.

  12. Suzie, I’m so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I truly hope that this is something the vet can treat. I have had to make THE terrible decision more times than I care to remember and it never gets easier. She is a beauty. Hugs and prayers to you and for her.

  13. It’s hard to see your pets ill, but that’s the way life’s cookie crumbles, honey 😦
    Don’t obsess about the worry that you may lose her – try to concentrate on the privilege you had to share so much with her for eleven years. Easy to say, I know… Hugs xxx

  14. i have two dogs, the oldest is a rescue dog, which we believe is about 13 (ish) He had a pretty hard early life and we took him from the pound 11 years ago. He has no teeth (abuse) and now he is slowing down and his back legs are a bit wobbly. He still is happy enough but we know that his time is running out but while he is here I will not give up on him, even although I am not ready for him to go, and I doubt if I ever will be. I will order a wheelchair from the USA and we can use that. In his younger days he was a Maltese Terrorist, and he still keeps his paw in from time to time by threading the extanda-lead between my legs when we are out walking at night. We know their lives are short but while they are here with us, we love them and look after them. They will break our hearts, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.

  15. Don’t give up hope yet. And even if she leaves the physical world behind she will never really leave you. She helped make you who you are just as surely as you did her.

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  17. Hugging you, making you a cuppa tea and I totally emphasize with you. Our pets are family and they are in our lives way too short a time. It’s a small comfort to you now that you have given her a good and happy home but hang in there. *hugs*

  18. So sorry, our pets nestle in our hearts as well as our sofas. They’re always there to cuddle and greet us and missed for so long when they depart. We said goodbye to our family tortoise last week, a 40 year relationship with the poor little guy. He was no cute and cuddly pet but animated and recognised our voices and had little quirky habits. So sad when they go and our hearts ache and thump at the loss. Blessings to you fellow pet companion x

  19. I leave you with one of my favorite quotes about pets, as you prepare for her to reach Rainbow Bridge. “We ask why pets have short lives. Maybe it’s so we have more angels waiting for us, in Heaven.” {{Suzie}}

  20. Oh, they are like our babies, they are always special to us, bringing us such love and warmth. We get so much from pets! Take care, you (and sick kitty cat) are in my thoughts! Robin

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