Recovery

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After the last few weeks I have been left feeling, quite honestly, hugely depressed. I would normally consider myself to be quite a strong person – I’ve had tougher times than this in the last and have managed to support myself through it, but after the recent news about the house I crumbled a little, threw myself an enormous pity party and have spent the last few days wallowing. I’m still weak from the hospitalisation that I had two weeks ago and the doctor has given me a note for the rest of this week, so I have been grateful to have the time to attempt to process everything. I’ve questioned my karma lots over the last few days – why me? I’m a good person, I work hard… Why do I have to constantly feel I have to battle with everyone?

However, while I don’t feel that there is anything wrong with occasionally focusing on the negative, there were several things yesterday that slapped me in the face and told me to get over myself.

Before I continue, I’d like to remind you again about a fellow WordPress blogger’s struggles with fibromyalgia and the fact that she is at the point of losing her home. I was hugely inspired by this post, which links to a donation site to help her out. I hadn’t met Merbear until yesterday, but I was inspired by her story and the outpouring of love and support that she received from the amazing blogging community, and I implore you to check out this post, reblog and get her story out there.

http://notapunkrocker.wordpress.com/2014/02/24/important-please-help-save-more-than-a-house/

So, after the metaphorical face slapping I gave myself I woke up today and decided to simply move on. I know I have to move out, we’re lucky to have found somewhere new in such a short space of time that suits our needs, and the quicker I get my arse into gear the more organised and less stressed I will be about the situation. I can’t do a large amount of packing in one go, but I can do a little at a time and I’ll get there.

What about you guys? How do you deal with difficult times?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

24 thoughts on “Recovery

  1. I give myself permission to wallow and feel whatever exhaustion or grief my body needs to feel. After a set amount of time, I do something active, typically a walk outside, to re-energize my brain.

    But, sometimes we just need to be “down in the dumps” and that’s ok, provided we don’t stay there for long periods of time.

  2. Like your friend I also suffer from Fibro and Motor Functionality Disorder and under a neurologist at the moment and some days are worse than hell, the last two days I have been staggering around like an old drunk as my balance is out. BUT I deal with it every day by telling myself well it could be worse I could be sleeping on the street, I could be laying in a pine box or in a wheelchair unable to move, think or speak. I have my functions, I can drive my car and think for myself.
    Karma is a state of mind if you think it will happen it will. For example I fell out with someone online and then I bump my car the same day and I thought that because I fell out with someone it was karma, but then I bump my car for the second time and no karma as I had been good lol 🙂

    Illness is illness and there are no outside mystic influences which cause it, saying that I believe everything happens for a reason and it happens to make one stronger, makes one look at their life and how one can use the situation you are in to change your or someone else life. I will be told possibly that I am talking crap but its what I believe and if it helps me then that’s how I live my life 🙂
    I also believe in God and he makes me stronger, but he leaves me to live my life the best way I can, ill or not and I will be rewarded on how I live my life when my time on this earth is up.

    I hope you get stronger and get back to the job you love so much and the children who love you back. 🙂

    • Thanks Pete – I hadn’t really heard much about the illness until I met you guys and I applaud you for always remaining so positive. While I don’t have a faith in a god, I am a great believer in things happening for a reason, and am going to continue to try to see it that way!

      Thanks for such a lovely comment, as always!

      • Thank you and your welcome. Believe me when I have had fleeting thoughts about ending it all but then my granddaughters pop into my head and that changes my how train of thoughts. So positivity it is 🙂 Take care my friend 🙂

  3. Every second person I talk to these days is having times like these! It’s a challenge. It feels like we’re undergoing painful changes and the struggle to right the wrongs is gaining a foothold, but is still far from being realised. This is what I’ve found helpful so far. Being thankful and positive is an excellent state to head for, because nothing gets better when you panic. This time next year, you’ll have come through this. And forgiveness is a wonderful source of de-stressing and healing – if you’re holding things in that you have no direct influence over, and that don’t serve you, aim to let them go – for simplicity.

  4. Shortly after I was diagnosed with MS I was sitting in my room feeling terribly sorry for myself. I was using two canes to walk and even that was difficult. My mother came into the room took one look at me and said that I had every right to feel sorry for myself that I had been dealt a terrible blow.. Then she looked at her watch and said you’ve got 15 minutes go! When I stopped laughing I realized my mother was absolutely right, we need time to process our depression, our feelings. But we can’t let it take over our lives. So I wallow and then I put on a weepy movie, cry my eyes out, blow my nose and get on with my life. My mother’s advice was invaluable!

  5. Cocktails and if that doesn’t have the desired effect I resort to shots of tequila. But it’s a slippery slope and I don’t recommend it. You’re doing just fine without a peep from me. Go easy on yourself Suzie. You really have been through an awful lot all at once.

  6. I let the emotions out. Then I try to keep myself buys. Cycling always helps me unwind. Sitting at my piano is also very therapeutic. I’ve learned to not keep it in. I let it out. Then I try to move on.. Good luck, Suzie.

  7. My youngest was diagnosed with fibromyalgia when she was in 7th grade. We started hearing her pop and crack and I attributed it to ‘growing pains’, until I saw and heard her walk by me across a large room. After several months of doctor’s appointments (2 or 3 a week), we were finally given an appointment by a pediatric rheumatologist. Within five minutes she knew what was going on. While it is devastating and heartbreaking news, it did give us a sense of peace that we knew what we needed to do next. A few weeks later there was a secondary diagnosis given of hypermobility syndrome. These two things work against each other and it is not pleasant. She has her days and bouts of fibryo flareups. But, she is incredible and is a busy mother. Fibryomyalgia is a silent disease. People look normal and can be fine one minute and not able to move the next.
    I am sorry you have to move. We are waiting and seeing if we will be able to renew our lease here. We both moved around the same time a year ago. We hope we can stay here, as hubby’s health is still not good and moving would be extremely hard this time.

    Sorry for the long response. Great article…. wish we could help her out, but we just can’t right now…. As for feeling down, I am trying to look up and be positive right now myself, so I understand how you are doing. Feel better, I hope the move goes quickly and smoothly for you.

  8. I will throw myself a pity party for about a day, then I have to remind myself that life will go on with or without you, and lots and lots of prayer, talking to the Lord, speaking the word, singing songs of praise, and when I do that, well that dark cloud lifts and I know He is always with me. Keep your head held up high.

  9. First, thank you for sharing the information again. I am getting so many responses from people who say that they heard about this from you, so you have already made a huge difference.

    You have been through a lot in a very short period of time. Taking the deep breath and resolving to go forward with the new path you are on is wonderful, but don’t let it get too overwhelming (or more than it already is). Try to be gentle with yourself and allow moments to throw something (soft, at something not breakable) or break down, or have ice cream, or all three at once.

    In the meantime, I now picture you sounding like Victor Meldrew. I mean that in a good way, not taking any more guff from anyone. 😀 ((hugs)) to you, my friend.

  10. Sometimes being evicted can be a blessing in disguise. The last time we were evicted a few weeks later my mom had a stroke. If we hadn’t moved, we wouldn’t have been in the same room as mom when she had the stroke in the middle of the night and wouldn’t have been able to get her to the hospital in time. As it is, she only has slight decrease in mobility and energy instead of losing at least a full half and maybe even dying. (She had a room that was far away from everyone before the eviction and we didn’t usually check on her until the morning because too much noise tired her out.) We were also living closer to a hospital that specializes in strokes and heart attacks after the eviction.

    You just never know.

  11. Agreement here with Qiall’s mother. Wallow away for a pre-determined period of time(hours, not days), and then let it go. The situation isn’t going to change, but you can. One chore at a time, one step at a time. Remember the Chinese proverb that a long journey starts with the first step. You’ve dealt with hardship before and emerged victoriously. You’ll do it again.

  12. I am sorry that you had the challenge of the health issues and a long bout of hospitalization. I would be depressed too. I also understand that you are facing a move, this is hard. I think you are getting stronger, but this is all of a sudden. When people have to face more than one challenge at a time, you can get overwhelmed. I sympathize and wish you well. If you have to get up and going your own kick on your butt will help. As someone who would help you, if I lived closer, I would never lecture you about which ailment or situation is worse. The woman with fibromyalgia is a major challenge, hopefully your surgery repaired you. Hers will be a lifelong battle, but there are some healthy ways to fight it, including natural remedies. I feel for her situation, too, though and wish her many hands to help her, many donations, too. Take care, Suzie! Hugs, Robin

  13. We are human and we will feel good or bad from time to time. As you are aware, it is normal to feel occassionally negative, as long as it isn’t long term or indefinite.

    As much as we all like to entertain the idea of Karma, I don’t believe that there is such a thing as Karma, partly because I look at the bigger picture, the entire universe and how it all came to being, and I realise and I believe that all things, big or small, or even invisible, exist because they do, and nothing more.

    How we live and shape our lives is in direct relation with our environment and how we personally interpret everything in it, which will impact on our thoughts, our feelings and our health.

    It is what it is.

    And sometimes, we just can’t be stuffed with doing anything, because we’re tired, recovering from illness etc., and that’s OK, because we really should be resting.

    Of course, all of the above is purely my opinion and nothing more.

    Rest up Suz!

    • Thanks Gina! My best freind thinks exactly the same as you do – we had a really interesting discussion out whether Karma exists and how we deal with negative things in our lives and he said exactly the same as you – I can certainly see your point!

  14. Everyone has the right to feel sorry for themselves every now and then. And think why me ?? The difference between a sting person and a person who will get caught in the feeling sorry trap is getting back on track. See the big picture.
    Hats off for you Susie !!
    Your one of the strong ones !!
    I hope you recover fully soon !!!

  15. I go to the pool and float. While I float, i imagine all my troubles flowing out from me, being absorbed by the water, and I also pray to God. Helps me calm myself and regain focus on my life. Life is hard. As my grandmother used to say, “Living is not for the weak”. We just carry on.

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