How to Put the ‘Pro’ in Procrastinate

big-bang-theory-procrastination-gifDo you have a major deadline looming at work? Are you behind on your assignments? Don’t know where to start? Here is how to procrastinate like a pro…

1. Make a list. Not just an average list – create the most detailed list you’ve ever written, complete with time frames and tick boxes. Assure yourself that this list will help you break your tasks down into easy chunks and make you feel less overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work ahead of you.

2. Tidy the room that you are working in. If you are at home, put a load of laundry into the machine – it’s impossible to work in an untidy environment, and you’ve been meaning to do this for ages. This will then lead to…

3. Moving objects and items of furniture around. You know the mirror would look far better on the other wall, and moving the chair would give you more space.

4. Find various amounts of change lying around the house. Count the change and put them into money bags, ready to be taken to the bank later in the day.

5. All the cleaning and organising is starting to make you hungry, so make yourself some lunch. However, you don’t have what you would really like in your cupboards, so this is a good opportunity to go to the shop and buy a few things. After all, you can’t work on an empty stomach! While there, make sure to spend at least half an hour looking for extra bargains to prevent making two trips and pick up a new toy for the cat – she’s old and cute and deserves it. Call in at the bank on the way back home and deposit the change that you collected earlier.

6. While you are eating lunch, check all your social networking sites, your blog and your email. Ensure that you spend time reading as many posts as possible and commenting. One of the posts that you read is almost certainly going to give you an idea for a post of your own, so use this as an opportunity to do a bit of research and write down some ideas on your new subject.

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7. Write the entire post.

8. Go back and edit the post when you realise that you have made ridiculous spelling mistakes throughout.

9. Turn the television on for some ‘background noise.’ Discover that one of the channels has started to show Jerry Springer episodes. You haven’t seen Jerry Springer in years, so you watch this episode, and the other two that follow, just to see whether the programme has changed or not.

10. You realise that your laundry has finished, so make sure that you take it out, put it in the dryer or spend ages hanging it out on the clothes airer. This is also a really good opportunity to match your socks up.

11. The cat is in need of some attention, so make sure that you spend the next half an hour encouraging her to play with ‘Mr Mouse,’ the new toy that you bought for her at the shop. During play time you are once again struck by just how cute she is, and therefore you have to take pictures of her. Of course, these will need editing afterwards either on Instagram or Lightroom and posting on your social networking sites.

12. After posting these, read an interesting article that a friend has shared about ‘The World’s Most Interesting People’ on Buzzfeed. This will undoubtedly lead to the discovery of other interesting articles, followed by various Wikipedia searches to find out the current situations of the people that you have just read about and almost certainly a video of Jimmy Fallon doing something amusing.

13. Look at the time, discover that it is 3.00pm and convince yourself that NOW you need to get your work done. Take out your laptop. While it is loading, use your phone to check your blog and see if you have received any comments from the post you shared earlier in the day. Discover that your friend has sent you a rather amusing cat meme, and decide that the only acceptable response is to send one back. This exchange lasts several minutes, followed by one inviting the other round to their house. Turn laptop off and meet friend.

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14. Return home in time to cook dinner and feed the cat. Realise that you have recorded an episode of ‘The Good Wife’ from the night before, and watch it whilst eating dinner. Make sure you spend time afterwards doing the washing up.

15. Your feet are feeling a little sore, so get in a long, hot bubble bath, during which you top it up several hours later when the water has gone cold. Realise that your toenails need some maintenance, and upon looking in the mirror realise that your eyebrows are beginning to take over your face, so spend the next hour rectifying this.

16. The hot water has made you sleepy, so decide to have a quick ‘power nap’ before you start your work.

Wake up at 5.30am the next day.

What about you? Are you a procrastinator?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

28 thoughts on “How to Put the ‘Pro’ in Procrastinate

  1. Yes, I’ve been meaning to admit it but haven’t had the time. This is just like my work day only mine is at a library. Where I am supposed to be putting together an exhibit, but it’s Spring Break so more dead than usual and I just can’t make myself do it not when I can procrastinate by reading a post about procrastination. I have accomplished zero all day, but I found some funny awkward family photo pics.

  2. This is the story of the day before every college exam. My apartment has never been cleaner than that day. If only I worked from home, my place would always be clean.

    Also, clearly I need a cat to work on my procrastination prowess.

  3. If I have done a shoot and I know I am going to spend a good few hours at the computer I must have it spotless, coffee machine on with plenty of coffee, music on and the right light switched on. Then I use what is called ‘The Spider’ which which takes 20 minutes to make sure my screens are calibrated to my printer now 3 hours later I am ready to go ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. I’m procrastinating right now, I am supposed to be starting an essay on the German film ‘M’ which is considered to be a precursor to the film noir genre and directed by Fritz Lang, I have six days to hand it in but I had to check my blog…and then I had to check my reader for new posts and then I had to read this and then I had to comment on it and now you have reminded me that the mirror in the hallway is out of place, it’ll have to be moved and it is getting late, I’ll start tomorrow.

  5. Currently sitting in the library at uni procrastinating by reading this very post. Well written and entertaining, keep up the great work x

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