Waiting…

The kidney infection is back, it has spread to my urinary tract and I am off work until the end of the week. I’ve been feeling ill and constantly tired since being in hospital, so I had blood and urine tests done and it was a relief to get the results back as now I had proof – it has felt at times that those around me thought that I was putting it on.

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My Little Friend

Wobbly is currently in the vets having a scan done on her stomach. I wrote about this a few months ago when it was suggested that she may have a tumour, but she improved and got my hopes up until recently when she stopped eating and rapidly lost a ton of weight.

I took her in at 8.30am and I have to wait until 2.00pm today for them to ring me. The waiting is horrible, particularly because my gut is telling me that I know what I have to do today if I get the results that I am expecting from them. At 19 years old (she’ll be 20 in a few weeks) I know that she’s had a long and happy life (she’s been with me for 13 years), so I have decided that I am not going to be selfish and put her through surgery, and I’m certainly not going to let her waste away just so that I can have a few more weeks with her. After everything that she has done for me over the years, she deserves better than that.

I’m distracted and don’t know what to do with the time. I’ve attempted to write several posts and have become disinterested quite quickly with them. I’ve tried to mark coursework but can’t focus. I’ve been for a walk to the shops. I’m half-watching Ina Garten instruct me on how to make a brownie pie, and I started searching around the web for interesting things to read, but I stopped when a horrific story of animal cruelty appeared – I can’t deal with that at the best of times and I’m certainly not in a place where I can deal with it today.

I’m completely lost.

Regardless of what happens today, I am going up to my mum’s house tomorrow for a few days. I need a break. I need to relax and sleep. I need to lie back and not worry about coursework, or house moves, or illness, or the fact that I’m going to lose the best friend I’ve ever had.

But for now, I’m just waiting…

You can also find me on Twitter and tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to like my brand new Facebook page

http://www.facebook.com/Suzie81Speaks

44 thoughts on “Waiting…

  1. I’m sorry to hear about Wobbly. She looks very much like my old cat Max.
    Max went to Rainbow Bridge a few years ago so she will be there waiting for Wobbly whenever she is ready…

  2. Suzie: My heart goes out to you. I am with you in spirit. I have been where you are many times, and it’s never easy. Bless you for not putting her through more. I will keep you in my prayers. I hope that you are feeling well again soon. Donna

  3. Sorry to hear you and Wobbly are not well again, maybe a good few days of mummy’s hugs will do you the world of good and Wobbly will get the best of treatment 🙂 Life is playing with us also, my wife had a camera in her stomach and 8 biopsy taken yesterday and have been sent home from work today and she has stomach pains.

    I do hope both of you get better soon, go back to being 10 year old again and lap it up.

    Take care and God bless 🙂

  4. First, I hope you get better soon! Second, hugs to you for Wobbly. It is so hard to have to go through this. Our furry friends are the same as family to us. They become our children!

  5. My heart goes out to you and Wobbly. My cat passed away after 21 years old. She had stomach cancer and it still saddens me greatly. I’m 23 and we got her when I was young.

  6. I’m sorry for what you’re going through but, if the worst case scenario proves true, I think you have the right plan. My family didn’t want to let go of our first cat and we tried surgery three times to try and save the poor thing. I think the last straw was when we brought him home and he cowered away as if terrified of us. We ended up having to do what we should have done all along. It’s not easy, but our dear friends deserve a dignified rest.

    Wishing you the best,

    TK

  7. UTI – plent of water and cranberry juice. medically speaking, drink lots of water every day, DO NOT USE PUBLIC TOILET PAPER, baby wipes are a girls best friend. wipe in one direction, and drop after each use. baby wipes are cheap.

    sorry about your cat. hope she gets better. if in the event that it is what you think it is, your making the best choice for her. trust me.

    write when the mood strikes you.. publish only what you feel in your heart is what you want to share with the world, we dont expect literary perfection… jeez, look at my page… FAR from being perfect.

    sometimes, in order to find where and who you are, you have to be lost for a little while. look to friends and family to keep you anchored.

    hope things get better. if you want to chat, my contact info is on my page and my gravatar

  8. My lovely cat Esme had a tumor which wasn’t diagnosed by the first vet we saw. She was weak and tired and vomiting a lot. I took her back to the same vet place and luckily we got an experienced vet. He explained the possible surgery and what we could do. She was only 10. I couldn’t see putting her through all of the pain and we had to let her go. She was the most awesome wonderful kitty who gave us nothing but love – just like Wobbly has for you. Wrap her in love and deliver her to her next home if you must. It is the best way.

  9. I’m sorry to hear that life’s thrown all this at you at the same time. I hope that your break will involve cuddles, sleep, chocolate and mummy food and that you will return stronger and with a smile on your face. Hugs xxx

  10. We had the same decision with our dog Ranger a few years ago. He couldn’t eat or drink or sleep or do anything by lay there and whimper. The hardest part was loading him onto a blanket and then taking five of us to carefully use the blanket to lift him out of the house and into the car. He was a golden retriever and he was the sweetest dog with toddlers and babies (which we had a lot of at the time).

    I’m glad that you have so many years worth of good memories with Wobbly and I hope that your break will do you good.

  11. So sorry to read about your and Wobbly’s condition. Wishing you both all the best. Take care, Suzie. Thinking about you.

  12. I was just reading the messages that you have received, what a lovely bunch of followers/friends you have, you are a very lucky lady 🙂 Hope you and Wobbly are feeling better 🙂

  13. I know the feeling , we went through it with our beloved Dalmatian and then with my tortoise. I know she wasn’t furry but she was a real character and only 36yrs old. She should have lived until she was at least 80 or more. Yesterday, I had urine and blood tests but mine was because of food poisoning . I feel really weak and muddled all the time. Today is the first day I have felt a little better, still want to lie down. Wishing you on the path to full health soon.

  14. I am so sorry Suzie. I am sorry you are feeling bad and for your beloved Wobbly. It is hard, but I know you will make the right decision for her. Prayers for a miracle. It sounds like she has lived a very good, full life, and you have had a great friendship with her. Prayers for you both.

  15. I am behind in my reading and I am so sorry for this day. I know the resolution has come since you wrote this piece. It breaks my heart that you have to deal with this. My heart goes out to you and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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