So, How Does That Foot Taste? Quite Good, Apparently!


Replace Carli with Suzie and this is pretty accurate right about now…

The weather has improved dramatically here recently and what has seemed to be an endless, dreary winter appears to be finally coming to an end. Consequently, I decided to treat myself the other weekend and took myself shopping for some new clothes. I found a beautiful summery top that fitted perfectly – it was a nice pattern, flattering and made me look and feel pretty good.

The perfect opportunity to debut this new top presented itself yesterday when I woke up to glorious sunshine, and so I decided to take advantage of this and spend a little more time getting ready for work. As I don’t drive, I decided to order a taxi as The Bloke had left by the time I had finished. The driver was a man who I knew from previous journeys, but I haven’t seen him in a while. Smiling, I greeted him and asked him how he was, and we made polite conversation for the first five minutes. All of a sudden, he said:

“So, you look like you’ve got some good news? When is the baby due?”

I’m not pregnant.

I was unsurprisingly caught off guard by his question, and could only mumble in response that I had put on a bit of weight since I last saw him, but I wasn’t pregnant.

Most people would appear uncomfortable or embarrassed and would generally be attempting to pull their foot out of their mouths. Not this guy – he followed up his question by helpfully and tactfully giving me diet tips. All. The. Way. To. Work.

In the fifteen minutes it had taken for me to get to work I had gone from feeling good, confident and happy to repressing the desire to punch someone in the face. While I made a joke out of it when I was regaling my colleagues with the story I was secretly mortified – my self-confidence can be quite fragile and this wasn’t something that I particularly needed.

So, Mr Taxi Driver, I’ll take your advice, and eat it – after all, I’m apparently eating for two! And as a side note, I hope that your crotch becomes infested with the fleas of a thousand camels, and that your arms are too short to scratch.

What about you? Have you ever had your confidence knocked by insensitive and tactless questions?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

60 thoughts on “So, How Does That Foot Taste? Quite Good, Apparently!

  1. Oh yes! I was getting out of the car and my neighbor came over to me going on about how I was carrying just like her, and I was sure to have a girl. I turned and introduced her to my son who was in the back of the car and about 2 weeks old. B*tch!

  2. I’ve definitely had my confidence knocked by passing comments. It’s never an easy thing :/ Especially in this case where you’re feeling excited and pretty in your new shirt. I’m so sorry that the taxi driver had such uncool behavior. I mean, anyone can make a mistake, but following up with comments about how to loose weight? I’m really hoping that was some kind of defense mechanism on his part (quite a shoddy one in any case)… because if he actually thought he was helping, he’s lost it. I certainly hope you don’t get him as a driver anymore!

    – Mae

    • I’m hoping I’m not going to see him for a while! Some people are like jellyfish – they swim quietly past and then unexpectedly sting you with a tentacle…

  3. Yes I have plenty by my own father. He’d mock me then say he was only joking and that he wouldn’t do it again. I have two brain injuries and he’d call me “damaged goods” on a number of occasions

  4. What a plonker! I sincerely hope he would give George Clooney a run for his money as he felt entitled to criticise someone else like that – given that he apparently survived the ride with all his teeth, sounds like you have a lot more self control than I do! My Grandma says that unsolicited criticism like that says a lot more about the giver than the receiver, and this sounds definitely like the case here.

  5. Oh Suzie, that’s horrible! You should have told him to shut the f**k-up!

    Hindsight’s 20/20 though and I will recommend that you contact their head office and file a complaint. No, I don’t think he should be fired, assumming this was his only indiscretion, but he should be disciplined. If he’d do that to you, a known customer, imagine what he might with a one-off client? Yeah, we all make that particular assumption at least once in our lives. But he should have just apologized, spit his feet out and changed the subject.

    I really hope you do file a complaint, not out of revenge, but rather to help endure he doesn’t hurt anyone else with his careless chatter.

    And yes, I’ve had these kinds of encounters many times. Usually it’s about my skin. I have adult acne and while it’s not nearly as bad as it was in my teens, it’s still visible. Even with make-up. Most people either don’t notice or they are well mannered enough to say nothing. But every now and then some idiot feels the need to point out my latest round of blemishes…usually during those rare times I’m actually feeling pretty good about my looks! *angry face*

    Oh hey, one last thing Suzie. Remember yesterday when I threatened to photo bomb your blog with endless pics of the cutest, most pitiful dog and cat on the Internet if you quit blogging? Well, obviously it was an empty threat as A) I haven’t got a clue how actually do such a thing, and B) I’m not that mean. BUT….

    Last night, I did post a kitty pic I found on FB. The title is, “Attn: Suzie81…….” Please do pop by and take a peek. You’re gonna love it! 🙂 😉

  6. I was paying for some goods in a shop when I got a text message. I apologised to the assistant for being rude by checking it (I’m all about etiquette) and explained I was awaiting a baby delivery. She asked me if it was my first grandchild 😦 I had always thought I looked OK for my age and still have a few years to produce my own children. I was horrified.

  7. I have had that happen to me many times…so rude. The last time I just smiled and said, No, I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat.” That shuts them up.

  8. I had the same thing happen to me. It was 18 years ago and I was walking my newborn son around the yard. The neighbor (an elderly fat man – deceased now) came over to see the baby. He expressed surprise and said they’d seen me and wondered if I’d had him yet, they thought I was still pregnant. I was mortified, too, and I never talked to that man again! He had nerve, seeing as how he looked like Santa Claus!

  9. SUZIE this infuriates me. This is one of those questions I would NEVER ask no matter how curious I was… I’m so sorry you had to go through this! I would like to add that I have a shirt that is flowy and beautiful and I love it- but it makes me look like I too have a bun in the oven. Some of our favorite shirts make us look slightly puffy.

    I actually just wrote about my nose job circa four years ago and this post makes me think about my own insecurities that I’ve struggled with- which is basically what my whole post is about.

    Anyways- Eff that guy! Here’s to his itchy crotch! You are happy. Your boyfriend is happy. The shirt just sucked! let’s chalk it up to that.

  10. Wow, that’s rude. I work in my prison and while I mostly deal with staff now & not prisoners, there were often times i was finishing up after a good day only to have one of them call out something rude, insulting or similar on my way to the front gate exit. Very deflating as a provisional psychologist. Now… Pfft… Whatever…. I’m going home… To freedom 😉

  11. DOH! I’m willing to bet that he banged his head on the steering wheel repeatedly after you got out of his taxi. Even if he didn’t, we can just pretend 🙂

  12. It happens to all of us in some way regularly. Just chalk it up to an inordinate number of dolts that will get their comeuppance in due time. Feeling down? Just come here. We’ll tell you how awesome you are.

  13. Wow that is in such poor taste of him to say that! Don’t take it to heart – maybe he was having a crappy day and just needed to take it out on someone. Either way, what an assface. Totally rude.

  14. The bright side is you’re in good company. I think we’ve all been mortified by this question (maybe Twiggy and Kate Moss are the two exceptions here). Insensitive a-holes! Brush it off love. You’re a doll!

  15. I’m very sorry that he got it wrong, but it gave me the possibility to learn about camel flea-infested crotches… I had the reverse problem ; I was actually asked if I was pregnant or overweight when I was practically full term with a baby who had made me put on so much weight I needed a wheel barrow to walk anywhere. So much for looking like the perfect preggers Mum – I went home and cried.

  16. What an utter arse. The world is full of body nazis, I’m afraid. It’s also a double standard – I’ve never once been asked if I’m pregnant 😉
    In seriousness, the bullshit women have to deal with is outrageous – as the rather wonderful Sarah Millican article in the Radio Times illustrated this week. Don’t sweat it – and know that his insensitivity and ludicrous body standards inspired an excellent blog post.

  17. So sorry for this one! I cannot help but feel hurt for you! I used to put my foot in my mouth quite often, probably accidentally step on toes sometimes, still. But this is terrible! No smiles for the way he treated you but hugs for you to feel better, my friend! Men! Hmmph! (this time that works!)

  18. What a dumbass. Off the top of my head I can’t think of any insensitive comments but I know that plenty have been said to me. Odds are, I’ve done the same and tasted my own foot a few times. My rule of thumb is that once you’ve tasted your own foot, it’s time to just shut up and let things go before making a bigger fool of yourself.

  19. I generally have a difficult time reading about the insults to people I Follow but I saw your request in the Community Pool and came by. I have experienced insults myself and usually realize it’s the problem of the person and not myself. I know that sounds cliche but in truth it’s true. The other problem with some people is that they know they will never see you again and just decide they can say anything. I just laugh at them, literally, and that makes them mad. I like giving the compliments myself. They make me feel better as well as making the person feel better.

  20. Aww I’m sorry he said that stuff to you. Don’t worry about what other people think of your appearance, however, and don’t let it get you down. He’s just one guy, and maybe he was in a naughty mood and felt like picking on someone.
    Besides, what he said obviously isn’t true, so there’s no reason to continue to be angry at him. You know who you are. You’ll feel better if you let it go, and this was smart of you talking it out!
    Feel free to check out this post I wrote about pure love!

  21. (Sun News, London) – Police remain baffled after discovering a headless cab driver behind the wheel of his idling car yesterday morning. According to inside sources, when authorities questioned the man on the scene, he was “a little short” for words, and refused to comment. Police spokesman Det. Sgt. William “The Terrible”‘ Wordsworth announced in a press conference this morning that the man had been taken into custody for further interrogation.

    Witnesses in the area reported seeing a tastefully dressed, attractive young woman of around 21 to 25 years of age exiting his double-parked cab (for which he has been issued a citation). When asked about this, The Terrible announced that this was likely “of no great import,” because “by all accounts, this mystery woman was far too feminine and fashion-conscious to have likely paid any attention to a lowly member of our society, such as a headless immigrant of a cab driver.”

    We will report more on this story as further details become available.

  22. People need to learn to never ever say they think someone is possibly pregnant…EVER! I went to a resort in Mexico with a friend, we had both pre-signed up for a spa day complete with massage. When the spa attendants came to retrieve us for our appointments one said, ‘Oh you must be with me for pregnancy massage…”. Well, actually, NO! It was my friend who was a few months pregnant. Ugh 😦 Then I had to let her massage my obviously in (her opinion) chubby body.

  23. Oh, ouch. That it always so painful. When I was headed back to work after baby #3, I went to a salon to get my nails done in an attempt to boost my sagging self-esteem. (Needless to say, it was not the only thing sagging.) I overheard one of the (very young) technicians remark, “That woman has a baby with her and she’s already pregnant again!” Which I wasn’t. But it didn’t make me any more anxious to head back to work.

  24. I was hanging out with a guy I fancy and we had spent the whole day together watching movies in my room, the same the previous day, and the day before that we went out together with friends. I had gotten my hair done on the Friday and he was the first to say I looked nice. Come Sunday we went to fetch a friend and we were standing outside the car chatting. He stared at me for a bit and then remarked, “Oh,, Vixene, is it me or does your hair look reddish?” I was gunned down. He hadn’t noticed the whole time I was with him, the whole bloody weekend! That’s what you get for being in the friend zone.

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