How Many Frogs?


Every so often I’ll read an amazing post that I thoroughly enjoy from start to finish, and it will trigger an idea. However, in this case I’m blatantly stealing.

This post, from Jolene over at ‘Valley Girl Gone Country’ was her response to a blog that she’d read about being single, and the types of men that she had dated.

It instantly brought back the horrors of some of my ex – boyfriends and dating experiences, and so I thought I’d create a list of things that have genuinely happened to me from the ‘frogs’ I have kissed. The above is a video of a South African Desert Frog, and when I saw it I couldn’t have found a more perfect example of some of these human frogs that I’ve had to deal with (It’s also hilarious and I almost bust an eyeball when I first saw it).

This may help you recognise potential frogs in advance in your own lives so you can AVOID THEM COMPLETELY.

Note: This is not an opportunity to complain or belittle the male race – the majority of my relationships have been with nice, genuine and hard-working men who treated me well. However, I have also had my fair share of experiences with men who have acted a little strangely…

1. I was dumped by a guy without warning. He let me know that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me by putting the phone down on me when I rang his house. No explanation. It transpired later (when his friend told me) that he was annoyed that I’d told a mutual friend that he was upset that his dog had died. I still don’t know how to respond to that.

2. I went on a weekend away with a boyfriend. We had a lovely day – we explored the area, had a laugh, ate a gorgeous meal and I was relaxed and happy when we returned to the hotel. I was, however, shattered, and wanted to go to sleep. When I told him I wasn’t ‘in the mood’, he had a tantrum: a full blown, stamping his feet toddler tantrum. I went to sleep, and we returned home the following day in silence.

3. The same boyfriend invited me on a trip to New York. Turns out, his parents had paid for the trip as a birthday present, and they were coming too. I had no problem with that and was grateful for the opportunity  – his family were lovely people. Unfortunately, they were also strict Catholics and had booked two rooms in the hotel – one for me and his mother to sleep in, the other for him and his father. While I liked his family and respected their values, I was 25 years old at the time and felt uncomfortable about it. Suffice to say, I didn’t go, and we broke up not long after.

4. I really liked a guy that I met through a mutual friend. After flirting for a while, we kissed. He stopped, looked me right in the face and said “I’m sorry, I’m gay.” This was the first time he’d told anyone. He was in his 30’s and had worked with my friend for several years, who had no idea. He chose the exact moment he kissed me to ‘come out.’ While I’m always pleased to hear somebody has the courage to do this, I’d have preferred it if he’d mentioned something sooner.


5. I was asked out by an extremely attractive man when I was in college. On our first date he picked me up in his car, and I noticed that he had tapes (I’m showing my age here) of Britney Spears and Les Miserables on his dashboard, which he said were his sister’s. It was eventually revealed that the car actually belonged to his girlfriend.

6. I was excited to go on a second date with a man with whom I’d enjoyed a wonderful first. I bought a new outfit and spent ages getting ready, making sure that everything was perfect to the last minor detail. He took me to a Needle Museum. Yes, I spent two hours wandering round a museum dedicated to the history of sewing needles.

7. A man that I had started dating started texting me one night, asking where I was. I was at home, and told him as such, but he didn’t believe me. He bombarded me with text messages for half an hour, accusing me of seeing somebody else (which I wasn’t), and only stopped when I threatened to call the police. The following morning, at SIX IN THE MORNING, he knocked on my front door, offering a Tupperware box of homemade vegetable soup as an apology. I simply closed the door.

8. An ex and I broke up because he had started to sit outside my workplace in his car all day and started to get quite possessive and clingy. After we separated he turned up at my friend’s house that she shared with her partner in tears. He ended up staying for a cup of tea, he put some shelves up for them and left. MY FRIEND LIVES TWO HUNDRED MILES AWAY FROM HIM. He drove two hundred miles so he could cry on my friend’s shoulder. She, and I never heard from him again, although a mutual friend informed me that he’s got three kids now.

9. And finally, the ultimate: a man that I was in a relationship with, who I was in love with, was conducting a relationship with me while his girlfriend of three years was travelling around Australia. I was unaware of this, and when I found out, I got rid. The girl moved back in with him upon her return.

So, it’s taken quite a few frogs to find my prince. For those of you losing hope, just think of these examples and remember this wonderful quote:

‘It’s better to be alone than be with someone who makes you feel alone…’

Video Credit: Dean Boshoff

15 thoughts on “How Many Frogs?

  1. Geesh, what a bunch of dolts. Glad you found Mr. Right! Some guys are simply clueless about what a woman wants and needs. This is marriage number three for both my wife and I – third time is the charm! Love your blog, Suzie. 🙂

  2. Good public service announcement. Hopefully what you’ve learned the hard way may save some women – and men – a lot of agony and misunderstanding. I suppose experiences like yours is why some people give up, others just keep repeating their mistakes and blame others, and yet others slow down and figure it out.
    Best of luck in any case!
    Thanks for the fun images.

  3. Thanks for the tips on the man not to be. Some of these were obvious. Others are a lot trickier and you may have to just say I’m glad to have had whatever good came of it, sorry it had to end like this, and forgive him in your heart, praying he’ll grow and learn. Nobody’s perfect and remembering flaws (unless useful in a circumstance) is bad for one’s health.

  4. I can’t even begin to think about the frogs from the past, much less any in the future 😀

  5. Funny stories, but don’t go all man-hater on us. You never know when you might show up in someone’s blog list of crazy exes. I think we’ve probably all had crazy exes and been crazy exes.

  6. I always told my girls, you sometimes have got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince. My youngest found her prince quickly, and I think my oldest may have found hers too. I am just not certain about my oldest’s choice, but, I don’t have to live with him…. yet…. 😉

  7. That is kind of an ugly frog but sounds much cuter than the frogs I went through before finding my one true love. We have been married for 16 years now and together for 29 years total. Loved the post.

  8. “8. When an ex and I broke up, he turned up at my friend’s house that she shared with her partner in tears. He ended up staying for a cup of tea, he put some shelves up for them and left. MY FRIEND LIVES TWO HUNDRED MILES AWAY FROM HIM. He drove two hundred miles so he could cry on my friend’s shoulder. She, and I never heard from him again, although a mutual friend informed me that he’s got three kids now.”

    I think this was harsh of you to put this one up and ridicule this guy. People have their own ways of dealing with breakups. Breakups are very traumatizing. Kindness is grace.

    • I stand by what I’ve written, but I see your point. To put it into context, the reason why we split up was because he was extremely clingy and he used to turn up in his car and sit outside my workplace… However, I do take on board that some may see this as being mean.

  9. I have a guy friend who is very fed up of the waiting game and he always asks me for advice. The problem is that I’ve been pretty lucky and I really don’t know what to tell him. My husband says he just has to sit it out, that he’s still young (he’s 29 this year). But he sometimes gets really down about it. Any advice for guys going through the waiting game?

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