It’s another glorious day and I’m on a train to London – I’ve booked tickets for The Commitments for my mother and I and we’re going to have a lovely meal at a beautiful restaurant.
I always try and reserve seats in advance and I was pleased that for once I had managed to obtain a seat with a table and a plug outlet. Unfortunately, when I arrived I had discovered that an elderly lady had sat in it. She pretended not to hear me when I informed her that she had taken my seat so I sat opposite her instead. It’s fairly quiet at the minute and I’m quite comfortable so I’ll wait until someone tells me to move and then work it out later. I’m currently sitting next to a lovely woman from London who is on her way back from a bachelorette party and is feeling extremely hung over. She’s very nice, but absolutely reeks of alcohol. We’ve been stopped for a while now in the middle of nowhere as there is apparently debris on the track, so I’m going to be late for meeting mum, but it has given me the opportunity to be nosey and observe those around me.
Regardless of the journey I am on, there are always the same type of people in each carriage:
1. The Sniffer. It’s almost rhythmic – 1, 2, 3, sniff, 1,2, 3, sniff. I have been known to make up melodies to match the patterns.
2. The Small Talker. The person that’s desperate to get to know everyone around them because they can’t stand the silence.
3. The Old Marrieds. Obviously been together as long as I’ve been alive, and have developed the art of commenting on everything and everyone around them… “Ooh, look John, a lovely tree. Isn’t that a lovely tree!”
4. The Stag and Hen parties. It’s always possible to tell what stage of the party they have reached based on the noise level – if it’s just beginning there will be lots of shouting and laughing, if they’re on the way home the smell of stale beer will be in the air and they’ll be talking very slowly and quietly about the events of the previous night.
5. The Business Person. Dressed in a suit. Working on a laptop. Talking loudly on the phone, their conversation interspersed with loud guffawing.
6. The Stressed Out Parent. Their child simply won’t shut up, and so they’ve given up and have allowed them to run up and down the carriage just for a minutes peace.
7. The Complainer. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. They’re tired. Why isn’t the coffee machine working in the shop.
8. The Girl Who Has Just Been Dumped. Will spend the entire journey on the phone, starting with the ex and followed by every single female friend in their phone. Usually finishes with a phone call to their mother.
9. The Chewer. Chews their food loudly. Very loudly. Fond of consuming crisps (chips) in vast quantities…
10. The Music Enthusiast. Likes to listen to music on their headphones so loudly that the rest of the carriage can hear them.
What about you guys? Do you see any stereotypes on public transport?
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