I’ve seen a lot of these lists recently, and they’re all very funny in the fact that they’re absolutely true. I thought I’d add my own from my various experiences of life.
1. I’ll be there in twenty minutes: I still haven’t got dressed and can’t find my handbag.
2. I’ll be there as soon as I can, I’m still waiting for a taxi: See number 1.
3. It’s not really my style, but I’m sure it would look good on you: I hate that outfit.
4. Well, if that’s your decision then I’ll support you: I totally disagree with your decision but I’m not going to say anything.
5. Do you think I’m overreacting?: I don’t care whether you think I’m overreacting, I expect you to agree with me.
6. As long as he makes you happy: I think he’s a douchebag.
7. I’m going to the bar, does anyone want a drink?: I’m asking when I can see you’ve all got full glasses, but don’t want to be accused of not buying a round.
8. (When asked for a choice between two options) I’m happy with either, you choose: I know what I want to do but don’t want to be responsible for you being bored.
9. I haven’t got any money: I don’t want to go.
10. Ooh, you look really pretty today: I see you’ve bothered to put makeup on today.
11. Sorry I didn’t get your message, I think that there’s something wrong with my phone: I completely forgot to reply to your initial message.
12. Sorry, but… : I’m not sorry, I’m just about to tell you that you’re wrong.
13. Ok, I’ll give it a go: I’m not going to even attempt to do it as I can’t be bothered, but I’m going to ask for help again later on and give the impression that I’ve really tried.
14. I hear what you’re saying, but… : I totally disagree and don’t really want to have any further conversations about it.
15. I was really disappointed when you… : You really p*ssed me off.
16. If you’re free for a catch-up let me know: I know that neither of us are going to contact each other, but I thought I would be polite.
17. It’s not you, it’s me: It’s you. Definitely you.
18. Haha! Only joking! : I wasn’t joking.
19. Thanks anyway: Thanks for nothing.
20. I’m not ready for a relationship right now: I’m not attracted to you enough to want to be in a monogamous relationship with you.
21. Aww, he’s a little bruiser isn’t he!: Your child is overweight.
22. I’m not feeling well: I want to stay in, watch TV and eat Doritos.
23. Lol: I didn’t laugh, but I am acknowledging the fact that you made a joke.
24. Do you want the last one?: I really want the last one and am hoping that you’ll let me have it.
25. I’ll be ok: I’m fed up, but I don’t want to talk about it anymore and I would like you to shut up now.
26. I’m going to go, I’ve got be to up early for work tomorrow: I’m bored.
27. You look like you need a hand: You’re doing a rubbish job and I think I can do it better.
What about you guys? Do people around you say things that they don’t mean?
You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog
I use lol that way too.
What about the classic – I don’t mean to sound rude but… Or it’s variation – don’t take this the wrong way but… Come to think of it, I’m quite worried that I might use those a lot!!!
Haha! Number 10….so TRUE, especially with husbands. I opt for the natural look but put on a little lipstick and wow- do I ever look great. How did I look before? ^_^
How about when someone send a new born baby picture and you don’t think its cute but you simply send a smiley. Has anyone done that?
I’ve done that!
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So funny and so TRUE! Thanks for sharing these! ~Rita
I’m also a fan of lists. My purse is full of pink and yellow Post-Its with “lists.” OCD? Maybe. Productive? On occasion.
And as far as honesty…
Unfortunately, I tend to the Debbie Downer and just speak the truth; and you’re right…people cant handle the truth! Ha!
I just snorted at half of these – especially the last sweet one 😂😂😂 I also may well have said the bar drinks and douchebag one 😂
I’m saying nothing haha!
Hahaha! This could be my sister’s and my dictionary….
Haha! Thank you!
This made me chuckle. Spot on!
Number 8 is so me!
Haha! Thanks Gemma!
I love these sorts of lits, Suzie. One of my favourites is when people say. Oh, so you must be the brains of the family when they mean, poor sod, you haven’t got anything else going for you! 🙂
Hahahaha! Yeah – I’m not sure quite how I would take that if it were said to me haha!
I got one – I’m going to share posts on big up your blog tonight after work.
I forgot, went straight down the pub and got blasted 😳
Don’t kick me off the group, I’m doing it now – honest. Even though my head hurts & I have double vision!
Oh bless you… Although I’ve no sympathy for the self-induced hangover haha!