I’ve seen a lot of these lists recently, and they’re all very funny in the fact that they’re absolutely true. I thought I’d add my own from my various experiences of life.
1. I’ll be there in twenty minutes: I still haven’t got dressed and can’t find my handbag.
2. I’ll be there as soon as I can, I’m still waiting for a taxi: See number 1.
3. It’s not really my style, but I’m sure it would look good on you: I hate that outfit.
4. Well, if that’s your decision then I’ll support you: I totally disagree with your decision but I’m not going to say anything.
5. Do you think I’m overreacting?: I don’t care whether you think I’m overreacting, I expect you to agree with me.
6. As long as he makes you happy: I think he’s a douchebag.
7. I’m going to the bar, does anyone want a drink?: I’m asking when I can see you’ve all got full glasses, but don’t want to be accused of not buying a round.
8. (When asked for a choice between two options) I’m happy with either, you choose: I know what I want to do but don’t want to be responsible for you being bored.
9. I haven’t got any money: I don’t want to go.
10. Ooh, you look really pretty today: I see you’ve bothered to put makeup on today.
11. Sorry I didn’t get your message, I think that there’s something wrong with my phone: I completely forgot to reply to your initial message.
12. Sorry, but… : I’m not sorry, I’m just about to tell you that you’re wrong.
13. Ok, I’ll give it a go: I’m not going to even attempt to do it as I can’t be bothered, but I’m going to ask for help again later on and give the impression that I’ve really tried.
14. I hear what you’re saying, but… : I totally disagree and don’t really want to have any further conversations about it.
15. I was really disappointed when you… : You really p*ssed me off.
16. If you’re free for a catch-up let me know: I know that neither of us are going to contact each other, but I thought I would be polite.
17. It’s not you, it’s me: It’s you. Definitely you.
18. Haha! Only joking! : I wasn’t joking.
19. Thanks anyway: Thanks for nothing.
20. I’m not ready for a relationship right now: I’m not attracted to you enough to want to be in a monogamous relationship with you.
21. Aww, he’s a little bruiser isn’t he!: Your child is overweight.
22. I’m not feeling well: I want to stay in, watch TV and eat Doritos.
23. Lol: I didn’t laugh, but I am acknowledging the fact that you made a joke.
24. Do you want the last one?: I really want the last one and am hoping that you’ll let me have it.
25. I’ll be ok: I’m fed up, but I don’t want to talk about it anymore and I would like you to shut up now.
26. I’m going to go, I’ve got be to up early for work tomorrow: I’m bored.
27. You look like you need a hand: You’re doing a rubbish job and I think I can do it better.
What about you guys? Do people around you say things that they don’t mean?
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