I love being a woman. We’re strong, independent, beautiful, interesting and complex creatures that have the power to bring new life into the world, and I am lucky in that I am surrounded by many examples of fabulous women on a daily basis. However, I have lots of male friends, perhaps more than I have that are female, and after having many conversations with them I still feel that there are a few misconceptions about my gender than men need to know. Of course, I cannot speak on behalf of every woman, in the same way that I cannot assume that all men have these misconceptions and it certainly isn’t an opportunity to attack the male sex, but I thought I would have a little fun on this dreary Sunday afternoon.
1. We have bodily functions. I am still always surprised by the amount of my male counterparts who haven’t grasped the concept of this. I’m sorry to dispel the myth here fellas, but we poop. We fart. We burp. And most women I know have the capacity to do it far louder than any man.
2. No quality woman will expect you to spend lots of money on expensive dates and gifts. A classy woman accepts a date because she is attracted to you, not because of what she thinks she can get from you. I also think that it is important to mention here that not all women expect you to pay for everything during the date.
3. Our feelings are not directly related to what time of the month it is. It’s a long standing joke that a woman is angry because it’s ‘that time of the month,’ and this really annoys me. I, like most women, suffer from PMS occasionally, where I feel bloated, sore and have the urge to cry for no apparent reason. It isn’t pleasant. However, as a human being I experience hundreds of emotions on a daily basis. So, if you think that we are feeling upset about something, stop assuming that we’re pre-menstrual and actually ask us what is wrong.
4. We don’t all spend our time just shopping for shoes, drinking cocktails, watching romantic comedies and talking about make up and boys. I love romantic comedies and I own lots of them, but in my opinion the two greatest films ever made (I can’t choose between them) are Avengers Assemble and The Godfather. I have some female friends that need an extra closet to store their shoe collection, but I own just five pairs. My friends and I also love cocktails (raspberry mojito’s in particular), but not as much as they seem to love coffee. We are also interested in art, politics, films, books, music, technology and sport, to name a few. And believe it or not, we watch football because we actually like the game, not because we want to sleep with the players.
5. Sometimes, in a relationship, we like you to take charge. There’s nothing better than getting home after a long day at work and having my dinner made, or being told that we’re going out for a meal or to the cinema. Or having a hot bubble bath made for me. Or being surprised with a weekend away somewhere.
6. Remember the beautiful underwear and the hairless legs? In the early, passionate, exciting stages of a new relationship there are many of us that will spend our time making sure that we present ourselves at our absolute best. We’ll wax, pluck, shave, exfoliate, buff, moisturise and spend hours (and lots of money) in lingerie shops buying beautiful underwear that will highlight our best assets and make your eyes (and other appendages) pop out. Unfortunately in a long term relationship, life gets in the way. Stressful jobs, children and maintaining a household take priority. Cute little knickers morph into enormous pants that Bridget Jones would be jealous of. Silk nighties are replaced with sweat pants. This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care about your opinion of her any less.
7. Telling us the truth may make us angry. Lying may make us leave. I’ve been lied to enough in my lifetime to know that if someone, male or female, deliberately lies to me then I will have difficulty trusting them again. And to me, if you can’t trust someone then a worthwhile relationship isn’t possible. Others can forgive more easily. I am not one of them.
8. When you touch any part of our body, remember that you are not kneading dough. This is fairly self-explanatory. We are not bread.
9. Sometimes, listening to us and not fixing the problem is the best solution. I know lots of men who like to be the ‘knight in shining armour’ and attempt to fix problems. However, sometimes what we need is to be given the opportunity to rant and feel that we are being listened to.
10. We will judge you on the women you previously dated, but will be annoyed if you use previous experiences to judge us. Unless your loved one is your first and you are theirs, it is inevitable that your partner will have a history (and possibly accompanying baggage). We hate being compared to your ex, but at some point we will make a judgement about her, and what on earth you saw in her in the first place. It isn’t our best quality, admittedly. It’s probably best not to talk about her.
11. Making us laugh and feel good about ourselves will always be more important than a six pack. Of course, physical attraction is often the initial point of any relationship, but this isn’t enough to make it fulfilling and successful. When looking back at my ex-boyfriends (not that there have been many), they were all very different both in their looks, passions, hobbies and careers. However, the one thing that all had in common (except one) was that they had a brilliant sense of humour and they made me laugh.
12. We don’t believe that all men are misogynists. It angers me when I read articles that are written by supposed feminists who use the opportunity as as excuse to label and attack ‘all men’ based upon the actions of a few. Most men genuinely don’t believe that they are better than their female counterparts. Most men aren’t abusers and rapists. Most men are faithful. Most men are kind, generous, hard-working, wonderful people, husbands and fathers who deserve to be treated with respect.
What about you guys? Are there things that you feel are misconceptions of the opposite sex?
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