Twelve Things Men Should Know About Women

I love being a woman. We’re strong, independent, beautiful, interesting and complex creatures that have the power to bring new life into the world, and I am lucky in that I am surrounded by many examples of fabulous women on a daily basis. However, I have lots of male friends, perhaps more than I have that are female, and after having many conversations with them I still feel that there are a few misconceptions about my gender than men need to know. Of course, I cannot speak on behalf of every woman, in the same way that I cannot assume that all men have these misconceptions and it certainly isn’t an opportunity to attack the male sex, but I thought I would have a little fun on this dreary Sunday afternoon.

1. We have bodily functions. I am still always surprised by the amount of my male counterparts who haven’t grasped the concept of this. I’m sorry to dispel the myth here fellas, but we poop. We fart. We burp. And most women I know have the capacity to do it far louder than any man.

2. No quality woman will expect you to spend lots of money on expensive dates and gifts. A classy woman accepts a date because she is attracted to you, not because of what she thinks she can get from you. I also think that it is important to mention here that not all women expect you to pay for everything during the date.

3. Our feelings are not directly related to what time of the month it is. It’s a long standing joke that a woman is angry because it’s ‘that time of the month,’ and this really annoys me. I, like most women, suffer from PMS occasionally, where I feel bloated, sore and have the urge to cry for no apparent reason. It isn’t pleasant. However, as a human being I experience hundreds of emotions on a daily basis. So, if you think that we are feeling upset about something, stop assuming that we’re pre-menstrual and actually ask us what is wrong.

4. We don’t all spend our time just shopping for shoes, drinking cocktails, watching romantic comedies and talking about make up and boys. I love romantic comedies and I own lots of them, but in my opinion the two greatest films ever made (I can’t choose between them) are Avengers Assemble and The Godfather. I have some female friends that need an extra closet to store their shoe collection, but I own just five pairs. My friends and I also love cocktails (raspberry mojito’s in particular), but not as much as they seem to love coffee. We are also interested in art, politics, films, books, music, technology and sport, to name a few. And believe it or not, we watch football because we actually like the game, not because we want to sleep with the players.

5. Sometimes, in a relationship, we like you to take charge. There’s nothing better than getting home after a long day at work and having my dinner made, or being told that we’re going out for a meal or to the cinema. Or having a hot bubble bath made for me. Or being surprised with a weekend away somewhere.

6. Remember the beautiful underwear and the hairless legs? In the early, passionate, exciting stages of a new relationship there are many of us that will spend our time making sure that we present ourselves at our absolute best. We’ll wax, pluck, shave, exfoliate, buff, moisturise and spend hours (and lots of money) in lingerie shops buying beautiful underwear that will highlight our best assets and make your eyes (and other appendages) pop out. Unfortunately in a long term relationship, life gets in the way. Stressful jobs, children and maintaining a household take priority. Cute little knickers morph into enormous pants that Bridget Jones would be jealous of. Silk nighties are replaced with sweat pants. This doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care about your opinion of her any less.

7. Telling us the truth may make us angry. Lying may make us leave. I’ve been lied to enough in my lifetime to know that if someone, male or female, deliberately lies to me then I will have difficulty trusting them again. And to me, if you can’t trust someone then a worthwhile relationship isn’t possible. Others can forgive more easily. I am not one of them.

8. When you touch any part of our body, remember that you are not kneading dough. This is fairly self-explanatory. We are not bread.

9. Sometimes, listening to us and not fixing the problem is the best solution. I know lots of men who like to be the ‘knight in shining armour’ and attempt to fix problems. However, sometimes what we need is to be given the opportunity to rant and feel that we are being listened to.

10. We will judge you on the women you previously dated, but will be annoyed if you use previous experiences to judge us. Unless your loved one is your first and you are theirs, it is inevitable that your partner will have a history (and possibly accompanying baggage). We hate being compared to your ex, but at some point we will make a judgement about her, and what on earth you saw in her in the first place. It isn’t our best quality, admittedly. It’s probably best not to talk about her.

11. Making us laugh and feel good about ourselves will always be more important than a six pack. Of course, physical attraction is often the initial point of any relationship, but this isn’t enough to make it fulfilling and successful. When looking back at my ex-boyfriends (not that there have been many), they were all very different both in their looks, passions, hobbies and careers. However, the one thing that all had in common (except one) was that they had a brilliant sense of humour and they made me laugh.

12. We don’t believe that all men are misogynists. It angers me when I read articles that are written by supposed feminists who use the opportunity as as excuse to label and attack ‘all men’ based upon the actions of a few. Most men genuinely don’t believe that they are better than their female counterparts. Most men aren’t abusers and rapists. Most men are faithful. Most men are kind, generous, hard-working, wonderful people, husbands and fathers who deserve to be treated with respect.


What about you guys? Are there things that you feel are misconceptions of the opposite sex?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page

84 thoughts on “Twelve Things Men Should Know About Women

  1. Great list! I especially love the one about listening and not always needing to fix our problems. As far as adding to the list? When we touch you, it isn’t always sexual; sometimes it’s just to be affectionate and doesn’t need to always end up in the bedroom.

  2. Awww, #11, Suzie thinks I’m sexy. YES!!! Thank you, Suzie. My world is not complete. 🙂
    Nice list. 🙂
    Much Respect
    (I’m wondering how you found my real picture and not the fake ones I put up for everyone to think is me.)

  3. Great post, Suzie. I’d like to add this observation about manthink:
    Not everything in life is driven by the differences between man and woman. Some things are about the similarities of all.

  4. ah yes… discovering the mystery that is WOMAN! I love being a woman and you just gave us 12 reasons + + + why! thank you so much

  5. I’m a man, and I loved your post, so true, I must admit and agree with some the things you said.
    Although, I’d like to see the “Twelve Things Women Should Know About Men” version xD

    Great post and insights Suzie, keep up with the good work 🙂

  6. Suzie, your observations are keen and some are funny.
    Number 7 is the ONE that counts the most for me. Do not tell lies – about me, about you, about anything. If I can’t count on a man – or a woman – to speak truth, there is no hope for a relationship.

    • Thanks as always Sharon! I suppose that this doesn’t just apply to men, if anybody lies to me I find it extremely difficult to forgive and move on. Something in me just seems to switch off, and I find it very difficult to get it back!

  7. Okay, here goes…

    1. We know you do, it’s just the idea of women as beautiful people is somewhat damaged by that thought, so we pretend it isn’t happening
    2. Well, that’s a new one on me
    3. Well, yes, but I have known women to blame being angry on that
    4. Of course not. It’s only 60% of the time…
    5. What if we can’t cook? Microwave meal okay?
    6. Duly noted
    7. That can’t be right – when a woman asks you if you think she’s fat, you have to say ‘no’. Most men don’t care how much you weigh, but you do, so we sometime’s lie to make you happy; surely saying ‘yes’ would make you leave, so basically, the moral is, we can’t win. What are we supposed to do in this situation? Run out of the room?
    8. I wouldn’t know about that, but I’ll remember it if it ever comes up
    9. Oh, I’m a good listener, I’m crap at solving problems, you’re better off asking Google for a solution than me
    10. Nope, never dated, I’m off free on this one
    11. What about a six-pack of beer?
    12. Meh. Both equal, really, aren’t we?

  8. I hate the fact that because some men feel bewildered/inadequate they go on with “Oh, it’s that time of the month again obviously.” But you are right, feminists with a chip on their shoulder shouldn’t tar all men with the same bush. If a man assumed I was shallow enough to just be interested in cocktails etc. he wouldn’t know me for much longer!

  9. i am a feminist and it really bothers me when all some of them talk about is how terrible men are. i mean yes most of them possibly are but not all. and the other thing that annoys me is when other feminists judge you for prioritizing your relationship or doing things to please your man. I believe you can only receive love and efforts when you do the same for your partner.

  10. LOL! This is really great. Men please take note of point 1! And POINT 11! Personallity is so much more important than looks. All the other points are also great. 🙂

  11. Thank you Suzie. This is helpful, bit generally, and especially now that I might end up in a relationship with a long-time female friend of mine. I respect her too much to treat her badly, and I’m not very good at picking up on things sometimes, so this is helpful. Thanks! 🙂

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  13. Good list, fun and funny. The last one gets me, though – I’m a guy who actually likes a lot of so called “chick-flicks” except that so many make it seem like every male on the planet is a horrid human being. Why does it seem impossible for many film makers to have a movie with emotional depth, no guns or car chases and yet have males that aren’t Hitler clones? Doesn’t seem like it should be so difficult.

  14. Okay, so here we go…
    1. We know this we just like to live under the illusion that you don’t, unless we are into some of that weird German porn.
    2. Good to know cause my pockets are often as empty as a lake in a drought.
    3. If we ask, the answer is usually us, and usually correct.
    4. We know this but…no I can’t go on, Avengers as good as Godfather, the horror, the horror. If you get that reference you are back in my good graces.
    5. Eh, ask and you shall receive…but remember, sometimes we don’t want to be in charge.
    6. The woman makes sexy not the clothes. Plus nude always works. We are simple creatures.
    7. The best answer to “does this make me look fat”…you would look hot in this…Never, ever, ever, tell her it makes her look fat unless you are trying to find an easy way to become a eunuch.
    8. But I do love me some buns…hehe alright.
    9. The “knight in shining armor” thing is from societal conditioning, fairy tales don’t just warp the minds of females, but also sets males up for an unattainable goal.
    10. That explains a whole lot. For me personally, I don’t want the woman I am with to be like a woman I have been with, otherwise I would have tried harder to keep the other one. But if you want to invite her to join, I could get down with that. (That is humor, please do not skewer me in the comments.)
    11. If that last one did not make you laugh, I still have the abs as back up…(insert laugh here)
    12. If I have learned anything, women have to be better because that put up with us.

    That’s just my take…

  15. I frieken love reading your blog! This post was awesome – lots of truth and obviously hilarious. Now we need the same list from men…that would be great! It could be eye-opening…and maybe a little crushing! ha

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