The Tale of a Sociopath Part 3

Over the last few days I have shared my story about my experiences with my sociopathic ex-boyfriend, and how I finally came to my senses and left him.

While I am reasonably open minded on the issue of religious beliefs, despite not being able to claim that I have a specific faith myself, I’m a big believer in karma.

Karma is a bitch. And for A, Karma came and bit him right on the ass.

I had moved out and was living in my own house. I was desperately struggling financially and was attempting to come to terms with the events of recent years, along with trying to cope in my first full-time job after graduating. I had little contact with him – he had convinced me to meet him in the local pub about a week after I left with the intention of giving me my things back that I had left behind, but when I arrived he hadn’t brought anything. He told me I owed him money for the house, he was lonely and he missed me. I left, and never spoke to him again.

It took a while, but I began to move on, and thought about him very little. However, a mutual friend, who had always remained neutral met with me for a drink, and the subject of the conversation turned to him. She had quite a story to tell me.

About two months after I had moved out, my friend had gone to his house and a girl arrived. She was attending a conference for the company that A worked for, and he had offered her his spare room instead of staying at a hotel. I don’t know the story behind it – I’m assuming that they had some sort of relationship previously as I find it very strange that he would allow a complete stranger to stay over, but little that he did surprised me. During her stay, they began a relationship and she moved in that week. He fed her a sob story about how I had used him and broken his heart, and she fell for it. My friend told me that she was insanely jealous of the relationship that I had with him, to the point where my name was not allowed to be mentioned and she destroyed any of my possessions that she found, including any photographs and cards that I had left behind in my rush to leave.

Over time, the jealously developed into all aspects of his life. He wasn’t allowed to leave the house without her, even to the point where she would accompany him to work and meet him at the end of his shift to ensure that he didn’t go anywhere. If he went out with any of his friends, she had to go with him. If she couldn’t meet him at work and he returned home late, she would go into screaming rages and start throwing things. They had violent fights where they attacked each other. She checked his phone daily and accused him of cheating on her all the time.

Eventually, she trashed his house and refused to leave. According to my friend, the police had to be called. After she had been removed from the property she began a hate campaign, telling everyone what a cheating liar he was and started turning up at his house, demanding that she get her property  back. She called and text constantly. Apparently, she was even demanding property that she didn’t own as payment for the awful time he had put her through. He had complained to my friend that she was psychotic and making his life miserable.

Brilliant. The scumbag had got exactly what he had deserved – he had been used to being in control and was suddenly confronted with someone who had all the power, and he didn’t like it.

I sat back in my chair and laughed. That was the closure I needed. I didn’t need to seek my revenge. Karma had done it for me.

What about you? Have you seen a bad person get their comeuppance?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog.

60 thoughts on “The Tale of a Sociopath Part 3

  1. I don’t always think one has to be present for another to get their comeuppance. Sometimes I’ve hoped for it though, to be a fly on the wall. I try hard to walk away, heal, and leave it in God’s Hands. Once I’m done, I’m DONE.

  2. When life is perfect, it’s truly perfect! I always say, give them enough rope, they’ll hang themselves!

  3. Not yet. I’m waiting for it. Glad you got out when you did 🙂 Thanks for sharing your experience. Hopefully it will help others who are going through it.

    • Absolutely! I figured if I hadn’t been concerned enough to bring it with me in the first place, I wasn’t as bothered about it. The photographs weren’t of my family, so I could deal with it. It angered me as it wasn’t her stuff, but better to leave it than deal with her…

  4. I love the quote:”Little girls seek revenge.” I think scorned women who bleach the man’s clothes or otherwise destroy his property just show who they are, and that the man is well rid of them — and then he doesn’t feel guilty about what he did to them and doesn’t learn anything. He just gets angry and feels justified. Better to walk away with dignity; then he has to wonder for the rest of his life about what he lost. So good for you. It sounds like you moved on without needing to know about any karma, but had a rare and serendipitous opportunity to know about it. I saw on another post that you’re 32 now. At 32, I still hadn’t figured all this out, so you are wise and strong, particularly for your age. Thanks for sharing. I hope it helps someone.

    • Thank you very much! I’ve seen stories about women who have posted up signs, destroyed property and even one who put prawns in the curtain rails of her ex husbands house… Better to just walk away.

  5. Karma is a bitch and ALWAYS gets you back…it never fails, sooner or later it comes around. What a great story to end your not so pleasant experience…I don’t have a story about a story about an ex, but I do have my recent documentary disaster…the person we filmed turned into scum, and tried to smear me all over the internet and on his radio show. Then after he got fired from him job, stories began to surface about all these other people he stole from and then to top it off he got caught plagiarizing major US newspapers and websites, and thought it was ok to do so! But then, some of these sites (Yahoo!, ESPN, Deadspin, LA Times to name a few) started the process of suing him, and miraculously he discovered plagiarizing was bad 🙂 It does not help our film but it was ‘fun’ to see him squirm!

  6. The guy I dated didn’t get it this bad, at least I don’t think so. I know he dates some really nice girls after we broke up, and I know he’s married now. But every now and then I hear stories that remind me that a person who is twisted, self-centered, needy, and can be hateful and hurtful to this extent, can never really be happy. I’ve always felt bad for the girls he dated and also for him.

    Have you contacted Hollywood about your story?? 😀

  7. Pingback: The Tale of a Sociopath Part 2 | Suzie81 Speaks

  8. There is a part of me that thinks that bullies are looking for someone to bully them; gunslingers are looking for someone to be faster than them, and so on.

    Or maybe not – it’s just something I think sometimes.

    Either way, he got what he deserved. Brilliant three-part story. 🙂

      • Looking at it this way makes it possible for me to see a person as trying to be a better person.

        But it’s a free world and I don’t have to be a doormat in someone else’s life.

        I think Bob Marley said it with “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

  9. So very sorry that you suffered so much from this monster and so very glad you are now safe and involved in a healthy, loving, supportive relationship. Looks like A found his soul mate after all.
    It’s wonderful that you are able to share this painful experience with the world – someplace out there is a young woman wondering what she did wrong and what she should do to make all the misery end. I’m sure you just saved someone’s life today – and tomorrow. Good for you, Suzie, all around, good for you.

    • Thanks so much for such a lovely comment, as always Sharon. As far as I know he isn’t with her anymore, but Im so glad he got a little taste of what my life had been like…

    • The first part was, I was quite nervous about it as it is the most personal I have ever been in my posts, but the response that I got was so great that it inspired me to write the others…

  10. you had me hooked at part 1. I was married to a man like that for 7 years and it continued years after the divorce. And yes karma took care of him too. He is miserable and has been for many years.

  11. Emotional Abuse is by far the worse because it is so hard to prove. My first marriage was the same way until I finally built up the nerve to ask for a divorce. Now I am extremely happy and have managed to build a friendship with my ex, who has changed quite a bit. It is great to hear you were able to finally escape the situation. What comes around goes around…so do you think that he realized he was being fed a taste of his own medicine? ♥Tee

    • Thanks so much – I’m glad you have been able to form a friendship with your ex, I don’t think I would be that forgiving! I don’t think he realised it as he never thought that he had done anything wrong…

  12. Sounds like a terrible time. Glad you got out before his world collapsed around him. I had a similar situation with a boy in college who only wanted me when things were going well in my life, then he’d smash them to pieces. Then he’d back out and say he only wanted to be friends… He did that three times over two years before I finally learned. Boy did I learn! And BOY did karma make sure he learned!

  13. I don’t want to sound like a jerk or anything, as if forgetting that this is a true story, but this is so awesome!
    I mean, I love how you wrote, and normally I get bored reading long blogs. I liked how you divided the story into three parts.
    And ,I’ve known someone who was emotionally abused and someone who was emotionally abusive. Hats off to you because of your strength to leave, sadly there are still some women yoked by the burden of those sociopaths.

  14. The level of crazy is some people is unbelievable and it goes to show that there is always someone more screwed up than the last. Negativity breeds negativity and karma is always in the shadows watching. What a great read! Thank you

  15. I LOVE Karma!!! The son of a gun got what he deserved. You my dear, are one strong woman to have put up with him for that long. 🙂 thanks for sharing your story. (Btw, I just binge-read on all 3 posts) 😉

  16. My dad was a lot like A… checked the mileage on my mom’s car, gave her an allowance, hung out with his friends whenever he wanted but tried to keep my mom isolated from her friends and family. He was physically abusive at first but not after I was born. But the emotional abuse was always there. After my sister and I moved out, he could no longer threaten to take us away from her so their relationship actually got much better. They both started going to church (separate churches but it worked for them) and e changed. But karma is a bitch. My dad found out he had a brain tumor (non-cancerous) and during surgery to remove it, he had a stroke that left him partially blind and unable to walk. My mom became his caretaker. Everything he had used through the years to control my mom, she was in charge of. She literally controlled everything. Nearly all his friends disappeared from his life (even his best friends). He became completely dependent upon my mom for 14 years. Daddy died of cancer in December 2013 and as I help my mom through widowhood (I lost my husband in 2006), I can still see the damage from those years of abuse. Despite the 2 decades in which she did everything, she still has very little confidence in herself. She constantly puts herself down. She does not trust people, especially men, and tends to see only the negative. I just hope that with time, she will meet someone who will treat her with love. Everyone deserves to know what it is like to be cherished…

    So glad you were able to get out of that relationship and that your story has a happy ending! I’ll let you know if my mom finds her happy ending too 🙂

    • The more I read of your blog and your comments, the more I realise how much you’ve been through! My own parents had a horrific marriage and my father eventually left in 2002 after 23 years – I haven’t seen or spoken to him since. My mother despised him and has become a completely different person since, and my only regret is that I wish he had left sooner! I hope your mom, even though it is different circumstances finds the happy ending she deserves!

  17. Good on you for sharing your story – what an experience. I do believe in Karma – sometimes it can take years but it gets them in the end. Congratulations on leaving such a toxic situation. I hope others read your story and gain strength to do the same if they need to.

  18. Somehow the good people of this world need to rise up and overcome selfishness and pure hate. You see it in abusive personal relationship like yours and then it steps onto the public arena with these terrible terrorist incidents which are springing up all around the world.
    Instead of just seeing karma as bad punishing the bad, we also need to focus on a more positive form of karma where good rewards good. Where love overcomes hate. Not easily achieved but something we all need to work towards to move forward xx Rowena

      • Suzie,
        I’ve been thinking a lot about that since the siege here in Sydney. I spoke to many people who hoped for better things this year and then there was the siege in Paris. I keep telling people that somehow love has to counteract all this evil and we have seen that happen as well in terms of the huge public outpourings of love and grief. I have been writing a few posts from my dog’s perspective and he started reflecting on this but I had to be honest. Dogs have serious issues with cats and this is the Achilles heel to all his best intentions.

  19. I do believe in Karma! He finally got what he deserved and the best part is you didn’t have to waste time and energy to make this happen. Karma did.
    Yesterday, I served a passenger at the airport. He was SO rude to me it wasn’t even funny. An hour later, guess who comes back for a refund because they missed their flight?
    I smirked inside.

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