“Being in a relationship with you is like going out with a children’s TV presenter.”
The Bloke once said this to me in passing in the early stages of our relationship, and of all the ways I have been described by others over the years, this was by far the most unique. When I asked for an explanation, he couldn’t give me a detailed answer, just that I reminded him of one.
Editors note: For those of you under the age of thirty and living outside of the UK, the remainder of this post is going to make little sense.
I’ve pondered the meaning of this statement for years. I don’t have children and haven’t watched children’s television for years, so as part of my research I turned to the CBBC channel for help.
What I discovered was horrifying. On the screen was a woman with a face that had been contorted into a ridiculous smile, wittering utter rubbish about flowers and donkeys whilst wearing a waterproof in such bright colours that I had to repress the urge to put my sunglasses on. To add insult to injury, I was then patronised by the same woman who showed me her bathing suit and a towel and asked me to guess where she was going.
And then, I was introduced to Mr Tumble. Oh dear lord, Mr Tumble. The only explanation for Mr Tumble is that the must have been large amounts of LSD involved in his creation. While his alter ego, Justin, seemed to actually be a nice enough bloke, if a bit extreme, Mr Tumble made me want to jump into the screen and punch him repeatedly in the face.
Is that the way The Bloke saw me? Loud? Overly enthusiastic about everything? Talking in rhyme and in a voice like a bingo announcer? Saying ‘hahaaaa!’ at everything?
In my day (here is where I make myself feel really old), there were only two presenters that cut the mustard. Phillip Scofield and Andi Peters. Both presented their shows from ‘The Broom Cupboard,’ a tiny room where the walls were adorned with paintings and pictures that had been sent in by the viewers, and both had brilliant sidekicks – Phillip had Gordon the Gopher, and Andi had Edd the Duck. They were witty, hilarious and warm in their presenting skills (which is probably the reason why they are both highly successful and respected TV presenters and producers today), and they had guests! They weren’t patronising, they didn’t ask stupid questions, they gave us information and spoke to us as human beings. I had a huge crush on Phillip – it must have been the knitted sweaters…
The question remains, which sort of children’s TV presenter am I? The patronising, overly enthusiastic one with a eccentric fashion sense, or the witty, charming and informative one.
I like to think it is the latter…
What about you? What is the best description of yourself you have ever received?
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Suzie Speaks 
Mr Tumble – and his alter-ego Justin – are like cat-nip for children. My two love him to bits. His last live tour sold out football stadiums (I didn’t go myself, I’m not that crazy).
Perhaps your other half meant you brought out those levels of adoration in other people?
Haha! Love it! I’ll take that explanation any day!
How about you’re the adult and he’s the child. He is comfortable with you making the decisions, perhaps.
Haha! Sounds about right!
Two Words: Zoobilee Zoo. I don’t know if they aired it over there, but here in the states it was one of the scariest kid shows. Adults dressed up as animals. It was the like the broadway musical “Cats” on acid. Though “Cats” freaks me out, too. Great post! I love your humor. 🙂
Haha! I’ve never heard of it but I’ll see if there are episodes in YouTube!
Oh my I hadn’t thought of that !! Haha, I am sure there are.
No, surely more blue peter than tiswas!
I was a Blue Peter fan when Karen Keating was presenting it…
Blimey.
there was no-one better than Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men and Little Weed. As a kid at the time I had no bad dreams and I really believed that in every flowerpot there was a man and little weeds were something to be treasured in the garden. I don’t understand all this modern CBBC stuff and I get BBC and ITV in Switzerland. My kids grew up with the Barbapapa.
Haha! My mother had a nostalgia trip a few years ago and made me watch Bill and Ben, Andy Pandy and Muffin the Mule. I wanted to poke my eyes out with sticks after a while. As a child of the 80’s, I was all about He-Man and She Ra!
I was once compared to Larry the Lamb because I was told I bounced around a lot. I looked at my feet and no, no springs in site. ‘Maybe you should call be Zebedee?” I said. “No, Florence is far better” I was told. No wonder I ended up like I did!
Haha! Aren’t those programmes supposed to contain tons of drug references?
Yes, supposedly so but the only thing I can remember about that was Dylan the Rabbit who featured on the programme and he was always ‘far out man’.
Captain Pugwash was another children’s programme that supposedly had rude words in it, but that was all a rumour. Having watched it recently (On YouTube) I could not see any evidence. The things they got away with in those days.
What about Andy Crane?
Ah, Andy Crane. He was good, yes, but you can’t compare him to Phillip and Andi…
I had an uncharacteristic black-out after a night out on a potent drink once. I’m known for being nailed to a bar-stool, preferably a corner seat. Next day I was referred to as She-Ra by all my companions. I’ve not recollection of the evening but I still blush at the non-flashback.
Haha! I wonder what you could have done? I went out dressed as She Ra one night for a superheroes fancy dress, but I can remember most of it… I think…
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Oh my days! I’m really not sure how I would describe myself but the Gordon the Gopher was a legend (as was his sidekick Philip Schofield… I think I may have got that the wrong way round!) Thanks for bringing back some lovely memories of the broom cupboard 🙂
Apologies for the delayed response – I loved the broom cupboard!
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