“Being in a relationship with you is like going out with a children’s TV presenter.”
The Bloke once said this to me in passing in the early stages of our relationship, and of all the ways I have been described by others over the years, this was by far the most unique. When I asked for an explanation, he couldn’t give me a detailed answer, just that I reminded him of one.
Editors note: For those of you under the age of thirty and living outside of the UK, the remainder of this post is going to make little sense.
I’ve pondered the meaning of this statement for years. I don’t have children and haven’t watched children’s television for years, so as part of my research I turned to the CBBC channel for help.
What I discovered was horrifying. On the screen was a woman with a face that had been contorted into a ridiculous smile, wittering utter rubbish about flowers and donkeys whilst wearing a waterproof in such bright colours that I had to repress the urge to put my sunglasses on. To add insult to injury, I was then patronised by the same woman who showed me her bathing suit and a towel and asked me to guess where she was going.
And then, I was introduced to Mr Tumble. Oh dear lord, Mr Tumble. The only explanation for Mr Tumble is that the must have been large amounts of LSD involved in his creation. While his alter ego, Justin, seemed to actually be a nice enough bloke, if a bit extreme, Mr Tumble made me want to jump into the screen and punch him repeatedly in the face.
Is that the way The Bloke saw me? Loud? Overly enthusiastic about everything? Talking in rhyme and in a voice like a bingo announcer? Saying ‘hahaaaa!’ at everything?
In my day (here is where I make myself feel really old), there were only two presenters that cut the mustard. Phillip Scofield and Andi Peters. Both presented their shows from ‘The Broom Cupboard,’ a tiny room where the walls were adorned with paintings and pictures that had been sent in by the viewers, and both had brilliant sidekicks – Phillip had Gordon the Gopher, and Andi had Edd the Duck. They were witty, hilarious and warm in their presenting skills (which is probably the reason why they are both highly successful and respected TV presenters and producers today), and they had guests! They weren’t patronising, they didn’t ask stupid questions, they gave us information and spoke to us as human beings. I had a huge crush on Phillip – it must have been the knitted sweaters…
The question remains, which sort of children’s TV presenter am I? The patronising, overly enthusiastic one with a eccentric fashion sense, or the witty, charming and informative one.
I like to think it is the latter…
What about you? What is the best description of yourself you have ever received?
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