Warning: bad language is used in this post.
Since the beginning of Suzie81 Speaks I have received almost 14,000 comments on this little blog and it’s associated social media links. I love them and encourage readers to share their thoughts at the end of most of my posts. When they do I read every single one, even if I don’t have time to reply to them at that point. These comments have formed the basis for not only the development of my blog, my levels of traffic and my introduction to lots of different bloggers in the WordPress world, but they have created friendships with people that I otherwise wouldn’t have met, and these friendships are proving to be ones that I value very much. With the exception of a handful of people, I’ve been lucky to have found support in most.
I took some time today to revisit all areas of my social media accounts in search of comments that I have received over the last eighteen months.
I get quite a range of comments and messages from an awesome group of followers – thankfully most of the comments are friendly (or at the very least, respectful) that make me feel good, make me laugh and that make me feel positive about my writing. They also show me a little bit of their personality and their world in their comments.
The sarcasm in this post has convinced me that sarcasm font does in fact exist.
Too many people seem to equate “enjoying life” with being irresponsible. There’s no reason that has to be the case.
I’m just picturing a barking seal with a rucksack on a train now, lol.
When you’re feeling down and out, and when you’re feeling blue.
Remember that the mighty Oak, was once a just a nut like you.
(In response to the question ‘what would you tell your younger self if you could?’) The pull out method doesn’t work!
If you keep up this positive outlook and embrace each day, your life will be fulfilling and satisfying. On my 50th b-day I wanted to do something different to celebrate the milestone. So, I decided to have 50 new experiences over the year…new paces, things, foods, people, skills…whatever. I got pretty close to that goal at year’s end. The point being, life is an adventure full of possibilities. Enjoy the journey!
(In response to an article about beauty) Frankly, I think we, as a society, need to start minding our own business. It is absolutely NOT okay for someone to come up to me and tell me I need to exercise or for someone to tell your skinny friend to eat a cheeseburger. Anyone making inane statements like that without knowing a person’s struggles is ignorant. Let’s judge each other on character and not appearance, mkay, people?
(In response to a post about apologising too much) Yeah, this is me to a tee. I apologise a lot in general. It’s just a reflex action. “Hi, how are you?” “I’m sorry.” “O… kay.” It is a bad habit, I know. On the plus side, I’m invariably lying.
If you were stuck on a CD, what desert island would you take with you?
(In response to a post about a job I had in the fast food industry) If you put plastic striped straws into the french fry grease, they twist into amazing shapes. We decorated a whole Christmas tree with them. Every last other thing you said is true. But it isn’t everything… (There may have been spit-rounds where the whole staff could participate if an unpopular customer came in. Or someone who was dating your ex. Or it was a slow night…) I lasted until the manager told us we’d have to sing the restaurant jingle whenever he rang a bell. For some reason, that was the last straw. (See how I did that? Came full-circle back around to straws? Can this woman write or what?) Good times.
It took me years to realize that I did not have to live up to other’s expectations or give them everything they want. Understanding this at a young age can prevent a lot of heartache and disappointment.
I don’t think people understand the true damage a few “simple” words can say. That old saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”, is a load of rubbish. Words do hurt. No matter how much we deny it, one wrong comment can ruin your whole day no matter how much of a happy, positive person you are. WORDS HURT!
I love these people. They’re kind-hearted, supportive and they make my day.
I get quite a few spam comments, and comments that seem to make no sense:
Love you for writing this post Suzie. All true. Its sounds so skeptical at first but seriously the bullets can murder the people who actually do all this self absorbed stuff. I am definitely inspired and I shall use my Facebook and Instagram accordingly now.
income coming from my blog yet. far from it – but i am on the way, and i’ve been taking enough time to study and pay attention to those who have become successful bloggers in a very real sense to have some insights which i want to pass
I’m not Mexican. Erm… Thanks for clarifying that – although I hadn’t actually asked or made any presumptions about your nationality.
(Inbox message on Twitter) Bagels? Lots of Bagels?
(Inbox message on Twitter) A foot by any other name would taste as sweet. What?!! Eww – my feet would make even the biggest foot fetishist run screaming in terror.
Unfortunately, I have also received a few from people that had clearly misunderstood (or don’t see the point in) what I had written and have sometimes become enraged by it:
(In response to a post about being a professional writer and a hobbyist) Too bad that so many people seek to define others by their current jobs. That was the point of the article – to discuss it!
(In response to a post I created about the metaphorical lies that exist within the teaching profession) Wow. I’m not certain why you would tell them any of these lies. You probably aren’t a bad person, but, only knowing that you tell such lies doesn’t leave the best impression. I don’t actually tell anyone these lies!
(In response to a post I wrote whilst travelling on a train) Why are you writing about trains? Because I was sitting in one!
(In response to a photograph I posted for the Weekly Photo Challenge that was about snow) Why are you showing me snow? I don’t want to see snow. It’s hot I want to see the sun. That’s what the subject of the prompt was about!
I sometimes imagine that if I were talking to these people in real life I would have this expression:
And even though it’s rare, I’ve have received a few where the commenter is rude and sometimes just downright nasty.
(In response to an article about why Justin Bieber is a poor role model) Adults should have compassion and more to do with lives than jump on the bully bandwagon.
(Again, Justin Bieber) Lol, you’re such a stupid bitch…
(And again, Justin Bieber) You’re so full of shit. He is my king.
(Professional or hobbyist again) Bit of a snob aren’t we?
And the most epic, angry comment of all?
(In response to a list I created about things I feel I am allowed to do) Hitler would have benefited greatly from this list, given all the grief he’s probably gotten. Just kidding, sorry you wrote this list, it is terrible. It’s literally not even relevant… It’s some thoughtless, aimless nonsense about your dumb feelings you wrote on a blog…
Hitler would have benefited? Really?
When reading things like this I am always torn between sending an equally nasty response, which would undoubtedly lead to an escalation of the situation, or just ignoring it and moving on. I usually end up doing the latter, which sometimes secretly leaves me with a sense of frustration as I feel that they have been able to get away with being rude to me without reason or provocation. I adopt an inner fake smile and pretend that my feelings aren’t hurt when really I’m resisting the urge to hunt them down.
It’s always important to remember that some people are just arseholes. I have been trying to adopt my inner Jack Nicholson both in the real and online world recently, and so far it’s serving me well.
However, when I was going through previous posts to find comments to include, I realised just how many of them I hadn’t replied to. It hasn’t been intentional and I’ll endeavour to change this – I think that it is important to reply to as many people as possible and thank them for taking the time to visit, even if it is a few weeks after their initial message.
What about you guys? Have you received comments that have made you laugh, cry or scratch your head in confusion?
You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog.
Jolly fine read – I’m afraid to comment though!
Haha! You’re always welcome Mike!
Oh dear, I wish I could remember all my comments now. Though I do have a gripe with you, so I should comment that. It’s probably my fault though, so I’ll own that upfront. I saw a lot of people post answers to your questions or links to their answers, as I did, but I don’t remember seeing the follow up? Probably missed it as usual. I tend to catch most things 2 years late.
I can’t remember what hooked me on your blog but I like it. It’s nice and varied, but with just enough serious stuff. Nice work.
I liked your England/Scotland/Ireland series. My starting point was fairly rude about the whole topic but you managed to make me slightly more indulgent of my British “cousins” 🙂
Oh I get hateful comments from cheaters, no question. Luckily I don’t really care. But there’s a lot of us out there recovering from infidelity who support each other without always agreeing and it’s wonderful. I get some lovely but also really insightful comments. I once posted about my husband and I was worried it sounded really critical but someone posted that she could see I loved him despite everything. It helps keep your rudder straight sometimes to listen.
You now have an obligation to do a post illustrated by a barking seal with a rucksack on a train. I want to see what that looks like.
Ah, you mean the questions post I did a while ago – this isn’t related to that. I had over 700 answers to work through, which I’m still working on, so it may take some time yet I’m afraid!
I suppose with the topics we write about we have t expect some sort of response from people that disagree, but I hate the comments that are abusive – there’s no need for it!
A barking seal with a rucksack on a train?? Now that’s a challenge! Thanks for your nice comments on my blog!
Interesting post; like you I find most of my comments to be positive, the worst I have had so far is being called me a “typical libtard” because I dared to suggest that state provided healthcare is better than relying on insurance! Keep offending the Bieber fans 😉
Haha! Thanks! I will! I live in the UK and we have the NHS. It has it’s problems, but I pay my taxes every month and both myself and The Bloke have had our lives saved by the NHS in the last two years… It’s a wonderful service.
The Star Trek guy graphic made me LOL. Thank you! And Jack Nicholson is right when it comes to stuff like this that is not positive…
Absolutely! I spend far too much time worrying about things! Glad you enjoyed it!
I like when people compile all the hateful, stupid comments they’ve received and compile them into a collection, replying to them one by one, sort of like you’ve done here.
I think it has the effect of turning those kinds of comments into more of a caricature, and they’re easier to laugh at, from a reader’s perspective.
Keep it up, Suzie! Don’t let the frothy Bieber fans get you down!
Thanks Jenny! I read the Hitler one out to The Bloke this morning and was laughing really hard as it sounded so ridiculous!
Boy I needed this Suzie! !! LOL people can be so ignorant sometimes that’s it’s almost comical.
Haha! Thanks Jolene! I found some of them really funny! Have you ever had any really bad ones from strangers?
I wish they were strangers hahaha…
I did have one lady who was just a total bitch. ..about a post I wrote sometime ago. I can’t remember exactly what she said…..but I think after a cup of coffee it will come to me. 🙂
I thought I’d ask about the strangers as I know about the negativity you’ve received in your personal life… Well I think you’re fabulous!
I have totally gotten the random bits of English explaining how they will ultimately improve their social media with ideas gleaned from m blog. It’s confusing, I assume it’s spam, but u could be wrong!
Haha! Don’t worry I figured out what you meant! I get those too!
Thank goodness! Lol
sigh… *I not u. I could be wrong is what it should say not u.
I have, on occasion, gotten really rude comments. When that happens, I edit the comment of the offending asshole to make him (or her) look like a tool and approve it.
I’ve never edited but I’ve certainly approved some of them! Why can’t people just say ‘I disagree’ rather than being a douchebag?
I don’t know. That’s why I edit the comments to make them look like tools. I guess it’s my passive aggressive way of making an asshole look like a dumbass. Responding to idiots like that only makes a comment thread go up in flames.
I’ve certainly learnt that not long ago! That’s a good way of approaching it!
I have a good idea every now and again.
I get direct messages whenever I post anything having to do with body image, my weight or my picture. Most times I ignore, other times it does get to me. It’s a huge step for me that I can ignore more than react nowadays 🙂
I have certain words “blacklisted” on my blog so those terms and even some bloggers can’t automatically post without me approving them first.
I have noticed a huge increase in spam coming through the filters. My most spammed post is not even the most popular one. It’s the one about the 6 month anniversary of my son’s suicide attempt and of course the comments are horribly funny in context of the post 🙂
That’s awful – you’ve mentioned this before and I’m really sorry… Some people are scumbags
They are…luckily, I have more good interactions than bad. I don’t even read the hateful stuff most of the time anymore, I think I am just used to it. How many ways can they say the same things over and over? If you’re gonna troll, be creative.
(Kidding, nobody should troll at all, of course)
It’s such a shame that you should have to read any at all. Perhaps you should start naming and shaming them?
I thought about that, but why give them free publicity if it turns out they are bloggers?
Who knows though…we’ll see how I feel if any more come through.
Let me know if there is anything that I can do…
Definitely had the ones where I’m confused. (And I do thank you for the warning at the beginning, mostly because I’m tired at the moment and easily startled. Just ask my nephews…)
Thanks Martha – it’s a really confusing set of messages that I often find in my spam folder…
(*nods*) Sometimes I leave them there for a bit while I’m trying to figure out what their point is.
Great post Suzie. The best comment I have received was to a post I published declaring to the world that I have dyslexia. “You have dyslexia and you wrote this and have your own blog? I thought you guys could not read or write?”
I replied back saying that I could not read or write and thanked the reader for visiting my blog, liking some of my posts and I wouldn’t be able to follow their blog because I could not read and write any comments.
Well that was a thoughtful and well informed comment! You were extremely polite – I know many wouldn’t have been!
I always try and keep my cool, Suzie. Although a few jammy dodgers got crushed in the process.
Definitely the best way to be – I hide my anger behind a smile but I’m trying to adopt a more carefree attitude…
I love reading comment collections–especially the ones that don’t seem to make any sense. They crack me up, so Thanks.
Thanks! I always find them interesting too – the spam ones are hilarious!
Great post. Thanks for sharing!
Love this post! The nonsense comments are amazing! Don’t let the rude people get you down, your blog is great! 🙂
Thank you very much Hayley – really pleased you like it! I wish I had saved some other nonsense comments… I had loads!
I don’t have enough comments to analyze but I’m glad you do! Your blog is always interesting and authentic. If only there were more pictures of snow….
Haha! Thank you! I’ll be sure to notify you when there is!
Most of the comments I get are positive. Occasionally when I write about something horrible or painful and people leave comments about how wonderful it is, I find that a bit disturbing. I don’t take negativity too seriously. If you have to hide behind a computer and will not say it to a person’s face, there’s nothing to read into on that level. I’ve had a few rude people not understand that I don’t appreciate my work being reblogged, but other than that, it’s been all right.
I had the same when someone shared my work without my permission – it got quite nasty. I agree – if someone needs to hide behind the computer and not have the nerve to say something to your face, they aren’t worth worrying about…
Is that the story you told me about, or something else entirely?
Way too many people hide behind computers these days. I have no tolerance for it. If I write it, I’ve probably already said it to the person I’m writing about and if I haven’t, I have no qualms doing so. Most of my really close friends don’t read my work and only one family member reads on occasions. Rarely do I write about any of them.
Yeah… I totally agree with you – hiding behind the computer is far too easy!
To me, it’s cowardly. I prefer to deal with people directly when there’s an issue, but there are serious limits to my patience.
You never did answer my cd/desert island question…
Would you believe me if I told you that I’ve actually researched it on the Internet to find a suitable response, and still haven’t been able to find anything?
Haha, i actually do beleive
Haha! I really did… It’s stumped me!
enjoyed the post 😀
Where was this a year ago, lol. I could have just read it instead of having to learn this stuff the hard way on the fly 🙂 The memes you chose for this are perfect. Exactly how you respond to all that stuff. Not in the moment. Later. #Zen.
Do keep blogging, please.
Thanks so much Gene’O. I certainly will!
Hilarious! Unfortunately, too many idiots on the internet take advantage of their anonymity. I’ve seen authors lash back at comments with some awful consequences though – both parties suddenly became fourth graders puling hair and punching each other (virtually, of course). I like that you took the high road instead. 🙂
PS – I stumbled on this blog when looking through The Daily Post’s community, and I’m glad I did.
Thank you very much! It’s all too easy to hide behind a computer screen isn’t it!
So glad my comments didn’t make this post! Ha! My blog rarely gets comments so I think it’s a double edged sword for me – I get your points here, but would love to have SOME comments on my blog – good or bad. LOL Congrats on having enough to make a whole blog post about it! 🙂
Aww thanks Sue! Your comments are definitely in the first part!
That is what the bloke says to me about the fuck giving. I haven’t received any negative comments ever but maybe that’s because I’m not as ridiculously provocative as you – I’m joking – you are lovely and witty and a good writer. Some people are jealous and others just plain stupid, I think.
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Yes, can identify with your post.
Haven’t got 14K comments like you though! 🙂
Well, I’m a highly visually oriented person, so, of course, the images stand right now. I mean, “calm your tits”? Ergh, now my man boobies (moobs) are getting all excited…
No, I’m not trying to be creepy; there’s a longer story about that, about some tweets on Twitter. It’s too long to mention here. Suffice it to say I’ve never understood men making insults about boobs, even towards other men, and that sums up the story somewhat. It just makes me snicker and I think most of them would blanch, if I were to share my full thoughts that I think their insults sound more like come-ons. (I’m sure they don’t want my attention on that.)
I’ve been sexually harassed and stalked on two other blogging platforms, however, and one offender was a young woman. I can chuckle at little things, but I won’t tolerate outright abuse because I’ve been on the receiving end enough times. I don’t get many snide comments now… I think I had my fair share of that and other drama at LiveJournal and VOX, and now, I just don’t suffer fools gladly, I guess.
Comments are my favorite! Calm your tits…lol! Anyway, I’ve been pretty lucky to not have too many negative comments. I think women seem to have it worse online than men do in a lot of respects. Not sure why I think that, dick pics is a good start though. Thanks for being you. You’re a beautiful person, especially for an Englander.
Aww thanks my lovely! Good to see you here – I’ve not spoken to you in ages! How’s things?
Don… maybe I’m odd, old-fashioned, or out of touch, but, I still cannot wrap around my brain why some guys think sending a picture of their penis to a woman is a good idea. No woman I’ve talked to has suggested anything that says, “Well now, I just need to see me some man gentials today!” Now, sending it to a guy that is gay or bisexual in orientation, well, that’s another story.
Gosh, I sure hope that doesn’t make you odd or out of touch. I think it makes you normal, quite frankly. The idea of taking a photo of one’s junk for any reason other than to maybe send it to a doctor friend to ask if something looks funny about it is insane. Even sending it to a doctor would be hard to do for me. I think we’re pretty alright, those of us keeping our peckers out of cyber space. Nobody wants to see that! Even my wife would flip were I to mention doing that to her, though the thought of her getting that picture at work while taking a drink of coffee is pretty funny now that I’m thinking about it. Lol.
I read somewhere recently that if you receive nasty comments, that means you’re a success. Kinda takes the sting out of them a little tiny bit 😉
That’s a nice way of looking at it. Or it’s important not to insult Justin Bieber!
Nah, chances are they’re all teenage girls lost in a fog of hormones. Most of the clear thinking adults will be in agreement with you (I am, as is every adult I know!)
Reblogged this on Suzie81 Speaks and commented:
This is one of my favourite posts from recent months – what’s the best comment you’ve ever received on your blog?
My inner Jack Nicholson… I’m going to have to remember that one, genius! I don’t require it much on my blog, as it generates very few, if any, comments, so I’m fairly safe there, but it will be useful in day-to-day life!
I think you’re right to not escalate the negative comments, don’t rise to the bait… how about just delete it, and still feel like you’ve won?!
Oh, and I don’t know who left the comment about 50 new experiences for hitting 50 years old, but I like that. I may have to think about it for my 40th though, or I’ll just plain forget if I leave it any longer!
Some comments I have received I was like Hu? But generally I have not received any bad comments yet. Perhaps that is because I’m not the most read blogger in the world or because I actually have a Disclaimer page up on my blog……
Some of your comments have been really thoughtful. I would focus on those. 🙂
I’ve always had trouble getting people to come over to my site — especially to comment. I’ve tried to open up the lines of communication where I invite people to share their thoughts in a group discussion, but I can’t generate enough eyes to look at my work at this time. So, my blog has become an outlet where I write about things that are on my brain and if someone reads it and comments – great. I need to work on my social media tactic. I have a book coming out and need to gain readers. Love your blog, Susie!
Those who make negative comments often end up keeping us on our toes; yes, there are ones which deserve to be simply trashed.
I get puzzled by spam comments – it’s often like they’ve got a random word generator or something. They probably have, I don’t know. I know spam comments are just random crap, but when they’re on some of my more sensitive posts they feel very wrong. That said, some of the spam comments are so daft I can’t help but laugh.
14,000 comments! I can’t even imagine 100 right now; my blog is less than 2 months old though 🙂
I can’t even understand spam and thoughtless comments. I think people ought to comment responsibly, adding to the ‘conversation in a meaningful way’; but definitely not taking away from it. It really can be encouraging and lovely when comments are funny, meaningful and thoughtful; and also show understanding of what is being commented upon.
I’m pleased that you’ve been able to use some of the thoughtless comments you’ve received on your site; hopefully one of the commenters will read it and think twice next time.
Thanks for sharing.
Excellent post Suzie! Although I feel very sorry for the person who believes Justin Beiber is their King… how sad :-S XX
Wetting myself laughing over this post. “Confused worm is so confused,” oh, yes, that’s definitely how I’ve felt sometimes in reading comments and reviews. Brilliant and thank you for sharing!
Thanks my lovely! I’ve had far fewer strange ones recently, which has been a little disappointing- they always made me smile!
I guess that’s good – you’ve found your target audience. But, oh, the loss of comic relief!
I know – what am I going to do with my day if I can’t deal with ‘foot fetish’ titles or questions about Kim Kardashians boobs?
Snigger. There’s still Facebook!
That’s a post in itself haha!