Warning: adult (and stupid) content.
“Are you still with ____?’
A young man was smoking a cigarette with a group of his friends in the beer garden this evening. He was shivering in just his T Shirt and jeans in the cold wind, and he turned round to see a girl standing behind him. He seemed angry.
The girl took a step towards him and pointed at him.
“Yeah, are you still with ___?”
He obviously wasn’t in the mood for an argument, so he turned his back on her and ignored her.
Bad decision. She moved around so that she was facing him.
“I’ve lost all respect for you mate. You’re with ____ and now you’re messing about with that silly sl*g? You haven’t even seen her for months! Who do you think you are?”
My friend and I had stopped talking by this point, distracted by what was happening behind us. The woman stormed off. The man shrugged it off and laughed. They all went back inside and my friend and I continued our conversation. A few minutes later, the same man and an obviously drunk woman came outside. She had her arms tightly around his neck and I got the impression that he was a little uncomfortable and was trying to push her off.
“I love you. You’re beautiful. You’re a beautiful man. We’re meant to be together. I love you, I love you, I love you. I’m sorry I kicked you out. We’re meant to be together you and me. I’ve not seen you for four months. I’ve never loved anyone like you. You know what we’re going to do tonight? We’re going to go home and sh*g. I’m going to sh*g you like there’s no tomorrow. And then we can be together for the rest of our lives. Me and you. I’m sorry I kicked you out…”
She then started singing the chorus of Sam Smith’s ‘Stay With Me’ repeatedly. He went back inside and her friend came out to check that she was ok. The drunk girl carried on ranting.
“I can’t believe I’ve seen him again after all this time. I love him so much. I’ve been thinking about him all this time and now he’s here.” She then proceeded to share what she intended to do to him that evening. I’m quite an open person, but her graphic description even turned my stomach a little. She knocked her pint over, spilling beer everywhere and smashing the glass on the floor. They went back inside.
A few minutes later, the man and his friends returned.
“Are you going home with her tonight mate?”
The man laughed and took a drag from his cigarette.
“Well, I’m drunk and she’s up for it, so I might as well.” His friends laughed.
“Besides, she’s got nice t*ts.”
It may have been 4.30pm, but the dramatics can be found at any time of day or night at my local. Ah, love’s young dream. Unfortunately, I get the impression that it may not end quite how the girl (or the man’s girlfriend) is expecting. However, it’s still a better love story that Twilight.
Have you ever heard a conversation from different perspectives that made you smile?
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