The Cat Owner’s Guide To Wrapping Christmas Presents

Items needed:

  • Presents
  • Wrapping paper
  • Ribbon
  • Gift tags
  • Scissors
  • Sticky tape
  • Two cats: Cat A that has decided he wants a cuddle and Cat B that has just woken up after sleeping for the majority of the day and is in the mood to play.

Instructions:

Step 1: Sit on floor in the middle of the room. Remove Cat A from lap.

Step 2: Take out items needed from carrier bag, having previously purchased them that day from the only card shop in your local area amidst a fury of seemingly angry women and their screaming children. Stop Cat B from sniffing the scissors.

Step 3: Cut strips of sticky tape and stick them along the edge of the wooden coffee table to make the wrapping process easier. Stop Cat B from batting at the sticky tape.

Step 4: Remove wrapping paper from clear plastic film. Stop Cat B from attempting to chew this. Remove Cat A from lap.

Step 5. Unroll wrapping paper and attempt to cut out required amount of wrapping paper on the floor. Remove Cat A from the middle of the paper. End up cutting out paper while standing up. Stop Cat B from batting sticky tape.

Step 6: Wrap present while Cat A sticks his nose in the middle of the paper. Avoid accidentally sticking Cat A’s whiskers to the paper when adding sticky tape. Notice that Cat B is shaking her paw furiously and realise that she has got a piece of sticky tape stuck to it. Remove sticky tape from paw. Remove Cat A from lap.

Step 7: Cut ribbon. Stop Cat A and Cat B from playing with the ends of ribbon.

Step 8: Write gift tag. Write another gift tag after Cat B, who is still on a personal mission to play with the ribbon, pounces and nudges the pen, resulting in a line across the original gift tag.

Step 9: Stand up to cut another piece of wrapping paper out. Sit back down and place wrapping paper on floor. Remove Cat A from paper. Stand up to cut another piece of paper after Cat A digs claws into paper during removal process, ripping a hole in the middle of it.

Step 10: Repeat Steps 6 and 7.

Step 11: Remove both cats from room and continue to wrap presents. Listen to Cat B cry loudly for ten minutes.

Step 12: Go upstairs after remembering a forgotten present. Upon your return, remove Cat A from carrier bag.

Step 13: Wrap present surprisingly easily. Spend ten minutes looking for pen to write gift card. Discover Cat B playing with pen on kitchen floor.

Step 14: Return to room to find Cat A chewing on the corner of the ribbon on one of the presents. Remove ribbon from Cat A’s mouth, only to discover a large patch of cat slobber on the corner of the paper. Re-wrap present.

Step 15: Give discarded ribbon to Cat A. Watch as Cat A sniffs it and walks away.

Step 16: Take out some gift bags to put presents in. Start to place presents in first bag. Remove Cat B from second bag. Stop Cat A from chewing on handle of third bag.

Step 17: Place filled bags in wardrobe. Sit on couch to write Christmas cards. Hear a faint cry from upstairs. Remove cat from wardrobe.

It’s a good job they’re cute…

Exhibit A: Daisy (Cat B)

Exhibit A: Daisy (Cat B)

What about you guys? Do your animals make a seemingly easy process much more complicated?

You can find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

Image 1 credit: newschoolnomads.com

 

45 thoughts on “The Cat Owner’s Guide To Wrapping Christmas Presents

  1. Animals are like babies! They’re always wanting to get in on the action. I can’t imagine trying to wrap a present with an animal that finds a paper bag entertaining, but this post wasvery funny and relatable. Plus, Daisy is straight up ROCKIN’ that Santa hat.

    Meg

    thehalfandhalfblog.com

  2. When I read the title, my first thought was “give up and go buy gift bags”. This is all too funny, and very true. πŸ™‚

  3. Great post! I laughed all the way through. It’s the first time I’m going to be wrapping a lot of presents with my cat around. I’ll keep this list in mind.

  4. So true! My list would go more like. Step 1: start wrapping presents with cats in the same room and get annoyed

    Step 2: wrap in a room behind a closed door from the cats

    Step 3: get annoyed as the cats paw and meow at the other side of the door

    Step 4: open the wine and wrap the presents in tinfoil

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  6. My cat doesn’t appear to be like anyone else’s play. He waits until I’m wrapping the presents then slinks off, scoffs everything I left out in the kitchen, raids the dog’s bowl, comes back and barfs it all up on the sofa. Would you like to swap?

  7. What a lovely post. I recall we had to cure a cat of ours who showed a profound afffinity with booze. A well placed glass of very old creme de menthe solved that problem, and I’ve never seen a cat move so fast across a room!. The result; one very disgusted black cat with a very green, if once white, nose, and one happy family whose laughter filled the room!

  8. I love this! Hilarious and so true. This is my first Christmas since age 5 without a cat and I might actually miss some of the nudging/removing from lap that used to frustrate me.

    • Haha! That’s nothing, wait until you start putting the decorations on the tree! Have a lovely Christmas with your cat – they make the house feel more complete (even if they do cause chaos)

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  10. oh my goodness this is my life! only difference is I have just one: a 6 month old kitten named Penny Belle, and she has the energy levels of 34 cats. She refuses to nap and when she does the slightest noise wakes her up. I tried wrapping one birthday present in sept after I first got her and I gave up after an hour of living your entire 17 step system.

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  12. Been through this same experience many times with our 4….One eats the ribbons (so no more ribbons on presents) one sits on the paper, and hisses and claws if I try to take it away!

  13. This is awesome! I swear you have a hidden camera in our house. Cats are so funny! It reminds me of our toddler days. #SITSSharefest

  14. I have a very large dog, and she never bothers with presents, unless it smells good (i.e. coffees, dog treats, etc.) and I just rescued my cat 6 months ago (she was about 2 weeks old) so this is her first Christmas and her curiosity has only gotten her into mischief. She loves biting the paper as I’m wrapping, and laying in the middle of the paper, or on the present. My favorite is when she lays on the tape, and when I can’t find it I go grab another roll, and end up with about 5 rolls of tape in my room. She has yet to bother the tree, or bat at the ornaments (ours are glass, so we’ve been watching her carefully!) but she loves the presents and laying under the tree. I’ve had to re-wrap 3 already… Darn cat. Gotta love her thought.

    Sidenote: I love your blog. You’re a great writer. As I’ve just come across it, don’t mind me as I peruse through your old posts and make comments that may be really dated!

    • Thank you very much! You’re welcome to trawl through as much as you like – it needs editing so that’s my job over Christmas I think!

      They make Christmas lots of fun, but it’s almost impossible to do anything when they’re in the mood to play!

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