It’s my birthday tomorrow, and in light of the fact that I am going to be busy I wanted to leave you with some thoughts and ideas that may amuse you.
1. If it doesn’t matter, get rid of it. If you can’t get rid of it, it matters.
2. Getting no message can sometimes be a message in itself.
3. Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk.
4. Don’t regret knowing the people that come into your life – good people give you happiness, bad ones give you experience, the worst ones give you lessons and the best ones give you memories.
5. You can’t throw spaghetti at wall and expect it to spell something.
6. No good apology usually contains the word ‘but.’
7. It’s good to be informed instead of just being opinionated.
8. Normal seems to be getting dressed in clothes that are bought for work, driving through traffic in a car that is not yet paid off in order to get to the job that is needed to pay for the clothes and the car and the house that is left vacant all day so it is possible to afford to live in it.
9. There comes a time where you need to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for you.
10. There may be two sides to every story. Unfortunately, there are some people who look like complete douchebags in both of them.
11. Tom Hanks is probably the only man that will ever make you cry over a lost volleyball.
12. It’s important to follow your heart, but equally important to take your brain with you.
13. The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
14. It is impossible to make the same mistake twice, because the second time is a choice.
15. It is better to be unique that trying to be perfect.
16. Life is too short to be serious all the time. If you can’t laugh at yourself, call someone who will laugh at you.
17. Don’t forget to post on Facebook every time you are going to the gym, otherwise the entire workout will be a complete waste of time.
18. That tingly feeling that is experienced when you like someone is often common sense leaving the body.
19. It’s better to have loved and lost than to do thirty pounds of laundry a week.
20. Take the opportunity to smile while you still have teeth.
21. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
22. To succeed in life, you need three things – a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.
23. After a game of chess, the king and the pawn go in the same box.
24. It’s often said that you are what you eat. I clearly ate a sexy beast this morning.
25. You can’t completely open your mouth and stick you tongue out past your lips.
26. You just tried it.
27. You’ve just realised that I was lying.
28. Of your 99 problems, 83 of them will be completely made up nonsense and will result in unnecessary stress for no logical reason. These will undoubtedly surface at 3am when you have to be up early that day…
29. There’s a difference between being anti-social and anti-stupid.
30. Life is too short not to get drunk in a costume.
31. Nothing is more serious than turning on the caps lock during a public fight on the Internet.
32. Moving on is much easier to accept when you realise the other person was batsh*t crazy.
If anybody needs me, I’ll be in the pub…
You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks.
Happy Birthday one day early! I hope that you enjoy your birthday to it’s fullest because you have managed to claw your way through life for another year so you deserve it!
Happy birthday! And this post . . . thanks for the chuckles!
Enjoy your pub and have a Happy Birthday – as Ralph Mctell once said – an adaption of a point you just made – ‘Better to have loved and lost; much better’ Have a jolly good time.
Happy Birthday for tomorrow, Suzie. All the very best!
Love the 33 on your 33. You are quite the comedian. Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!!! (Almost)
Well Happy Birthday Suzie! You deserve a great one for entertaining me with your posts for the last 20 months or so.
Happy birthday. Don’t eat too much cake..
Happy Birthday! Thanks for the thoughts. It’s brilliant how you wrapped up true wisdom inside humor.
Happy Birthday! :0)
I’m thankful for a lot of things today, but mostly for this post! Hope you have a happy birthday, with much alcohol and judicious amounts of chocolate. Because the chocolate will make you smarter. Really— http://t.co/WsNabajkMI
Reblogged this on Manuel.
May your birthday be filled with laughter, light and love! ❤
Have a great birthday tomorrow.
Have a nice day tomorrow and give yourself a present! I would go for dark chocolate, of course…
Happy new year! 😀 Have an absolutely fabulous time at Third Tea Tree! 😉
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUMAN!! Love your post- lots of wisdom there!! 😺
Happy Birthday! I found myself either agreeing or laughing with almost every one!
Happy Birthday, young Suzie, wise beyond 33 years and items. ;-0
Happy Birthday!!! 😀
Happy birthday my dear. Did you visit my blog and borrow the tag line? 🙂 it’s nice. I appreciate being noticed
Happy B-Day!!! maybe because I am reading this at 4 am intoxicated but I loveeeeee your list, everything on it is spot on. My persona fav is; 3, 8!!, 12, 13, 31 🙂 😀 😉
Brilliant! Have a fabby birthday
a very happy birthday Suzie.. keep writing and giving us a reason to laugh 🙂
Many happier returns of the day!
Happy Birthday, Suzie. I hope it is everything you want it to be.
Batshit crazy – one of my favourite phrases. 🙂
Happy Birthday and thanks for the pearls of wisdom!
Happy birthday, Suzie!!
A Happy Birthday to You! Enjoy~
Happy Birthday! Have a marvelous day!!
Happy Birthday! Wish you all the best!
Happy Birthday, kiddo!
Happy Birthday! Hope you had a lovely time hon xx