We’re all individuals and we all have our own little quirks and insecurities that collectively contribute to our uniqueness. I have plenty – I accepted these years ago and make no apologies for them – they are part of my own character and personality, and while there are things that I would like to change about myself I generally like the person that I am.
When we meet new people and start to develop relationships, it is often the case that we try and ‘hide the crazy’ during the initial months – the honeymoon phase of getting to know a potential life partner is all about giving the best impression possible and it’s rare that we will show our vulnerabilities and share our deepest, darkest secrets. It’s only when we start to truly relax with someone that the real us starts to emerge.
Unfortunately, that also means that we see the hidden crazy in the other person too.
It’s a bit of a long standing joke between my friend and I that he brings out the crazy in women. He’s never had any trouble meeting beautiful women, and initial impressions of them all have been that they are intelligent, successful and lovely people. However, after a few months these women have turned into needy, insecure and game players.
I haven’t had much experience in the world of dating – I’ve been in a long term relationship with The Bloke for years and haven’t had that many boyfriends (in my opinion anyway) before him. Most of them, except one, were nice, caring men who treated me well. However, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t seen my fair share of quirks, liars and downright crazy in my short-term relationships.
1. I was dumped by a guy without warning. He let me know that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me by putting the phone down on me when I rang his house. No explanation. It transpired later (when his friend told me) that he was annoyed that I’d told a mutual friend that he was upset that his dog had died. I still don’t know how to respond to that.
2. I went on a weekend away with a boyfriend. We had a lovely first day – we explored the area, had a laugh, ate a gorgeous meal and I was relaxed and happy when we returned to the hotel. I was, however, shattered, and wanted to go to sleep. When I told him I wasn’t ‘in the mood’, he had a tantrum: a full blown, stamping his feet toddler tantrum. Genuinely, he stamped his feet on the floor. I went to sleep, and we returned home the following day in silence.
3. An ex-boyfriend hated the way I ate. I eat with my mouth closed and don’t make any noise, but he claimed that he could hear every chew that I made and refused to be around me if I ate anything that had any form of crunch to them.
4. I really liked a guy that I met through a mutual friend. After flirting for a while, we kissed. He stopped, looked me right in the face and said “I’m sorry, I’m gay.” This was the first time he’d told anyone. He was in his 30’s and had worked with my friend for several years, who had no idea. He chose the exact moment he kissed me to ‘come out.’ While I’m always pleased to hear somebody has the courage to do this, I’d have preferred it if he’d mentioned something sooner.
5. I was asked out by an extremely attractive man when I was in college and couldn’t believe my luck. On our first date he picked me up in his car, and I noticed that he had tapes (I’m showing my age here) of Britney Spears and Les Miserables on his dashboard, which he said were his sister’s. It was eventually revealed that the car actually belonged to his girlfriend.
6. An ex-boyfriend HAD to make sure that the toilet paper was placed on the holder in a particular way, and would get agitated if it wasn’t to his liking.
7. I was excited to go on a second date with a man with whom I’d enjoyed a wonderful first. I bought a new outfit and spent ages getting ready, making sure that everything was perfect to the last minor detail. He took me to a Needle Museum. Yes, I spent two hours wandering round a museum dedicated to the history of sewing needles in a pair of knee high boots, a short skirt and a halter-neck top. He then complained how bored he was all the way round. While I don’t wish to sound ungrateful that he wanted to try something new and he had put effort in, it would have been much better if he hadn’t been so bloody miserable during the whole thing.
8. A man that I had started dating started texting me one night, asking where I was. I was at home, and told him as such, but he didn’t believe me. He bombarded me with text messages for half an hour, accusing me of seeing somebody else (which I wasn’t), and only stopped when I threatened to call the police. The following day, at SIX IN THE MORNING, he knocked on my front door, offering a Tupperware box of homemade vegetable soup as an apology. I simply closed the door.
9. I had been in a relationship with a man for a few months, during which he had been the perfect gentleman. I went to his apartment one evening for dinner and he had cooked a beautiful three course meal. However, when he brought me out the starter he whispered something in my ear. I didn’t hear him at first, and asked him to repeat it. This was genuinely the conversation I had with him.
Him: There you go my little b*tch.
Him: You’re my little b*tch. You’re going to be a good little girl aren’t you. Eat up, little b*tch.
Apparently, this was his idea of sexy talk. It wasn’t mine – every internal alarm bell I had went off. I left immediately and never spoke to him again. He genuinely didn’t know what he had done wrong.
10. An ex and I broke up because he had started to sit outside my workplace in his car all day and started to get quite possessive and clingy. After we separated he turned up at my friend’s house that she shared with her partner in tears. He ended up staying for a cup of tea, he put some shelves up for them and left. MY FRIEND LIVES TWO HUNDRED MILES AWAY FROM HIM AND HE HAD ONLY MET HER ONCE BEFORE. He drove two hundred miles so he could cry on my friend’s shoulder. She, and I never heard from him again, although a mutual friend informed me that he’s got three kids now.
11. An ex was looking after my cats for the day. When I got home that evening, he proudly presented me with a newspaper article that he had written about the cats experiences, complete with photographs and captions. He was 21 years old at the time.
12. And finally, the ultimate: a man that I was in a relationship with, who I was in love with, was conducting a relationship with me while his girlfriend of three years was travelling around Australia. I was unaware of this, and when I found out, I got rid. The girl moved back in with him upon her return, completely oblivious of the relationship that I had experienced with him.
What about you guys? What dating disasters have you experienced?
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