I Think My Cat Is Plotting To Kill Me…

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It’s been a tough few weeks, and I’m grateful that I now have a week off in order to be able to recharge my batteries. That is, unless my cat, Daisy, carries out whatever murderous activity she is planning.

I had brought a duvet downstairs on Saturday afternoon so I could relax whilst catching up on the blog. I was joined by Daisy and her brother, Poppy, (yes, I know it’s a girl’s name – it’s a long story) and I expected her to curl up and go asleep like she usually does. Instead, she poked her head above the cover and just STARED at me for about half an hour. It wasn’t the cute, slightly sleepy stare that I usually receive from her either – she was clearly plotting to hurt me. Perhaps it’s in revenge for all those insulin injections I give her (she’s diabetic), or perhaps she’s just finally snapped after hearing me sing at her for the millionth time that day. There was an evil look in her eyes:

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Either way, it’s not looking good. What do you think? Is my cat plotting to kill me?

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92 thoughts on “I Think My Cat Is Plotting To Kill Me…”

  1. OMG… your cat and my cat, Merlot, would be a dangerous pair together! She can be the absolute sweetest furbaby one minute and then the next it’s like, “Ahem. Excuse me. Feed me the food in the can or I will cut you. I am done with this dried up astronaut food.”

    I think you got a good blog post idea … about all the different ways and times you think your cat is out to get ya 😉

    • Thank you! Daisy is normally a softe, but very occasionally she’ll look at me like she’s plotting a horrible death for me! I love your idea – I’ll work on it, and credit you of course!

  2. So far today I have read about the boy cat named Poppy and a girl dog named Jake. Funny 🙂

    Of course she’s plotting to kill you…she’s a cat, after all!

    • It’s strange because she doesn’t seem to respond to catnip at all – her brother goes mental for it… She doesn’t normally try and trip me specifically on the stairs, just walking round from room to room. I think she’s trying to take every opportunity that she can get!

  6. What a great picture of your cat! I love it! My Sugar has to have 2 shots of insulin a day too. I cannot imagine giving a cat a shot! Sugar gladly comes for hers because she knows she feels better. You better be careful Suzie! 😉

  9. I often think my cat is trying to kill me. He sits on the stairs at night in a way that you can’t see him so you almost trip and follow down the stairs. He almost looks disappointed when we live lol

  10. Was she purring at the same time? If not, then yes, I think she is plotting something. Could she maybe be trying to take over your mind so you end write writing a post by her, by starring at you like that? I’m sure my dog, Toby, does that and I’ve heard it happen with Steve and Bingo as well.

    • Like Pinky and the Brain? I think that it’s definitely a possibility! Poppy’s a bit stupid bless him, so Daisy would definitely be the Brain of the two! She was purring, so I think you may be on to something there Hugh!

  16. I think a Crocodile Dundee (index finger, little finger) hypnosis thing is required,or? the cat got its dates wrong and thought it was Friday 13th, if it shows similar symptoms on weds (full moon), have asbestos gloves at the ready!!

    • I love that! I’ve often wondered what sort of accent she would have if she could talk. Her brother would definitely sound like Paula Deen, but I think she’s got more of a Queen Latifa voice going on…

  19. This is so funny! Tell me, was there any bum wiggling going on as well? Usually means a mad attack is about to take place – that’s what my old girl does anyway – when she forgets that she’s old and goes into mad kitten mode – I call it a touch of the overtly joyfuls (with bite!) …

    • My old cat, who passed away last year used to do the little bum wiggle before she punched on anything. Daisy is a bit less delicate, she usually just runs over to it and flops on it.

  20. Blimey, that is not a happy cat! I hope she’s not taken out life insurance on you otherwise you’re toast and she’s going to be dining on smoked salmon for the rest of her days!!! Good luck!!

  22. I’ve also, on occasion, felt my (cats) were trying to kill me. Subtle incidents like perching at the top of the cellar stairs as I open the door in the dark, take a step, and “Merowwwwww!” as I attempt to regain my balance before I tumble down the stairs. OR…..leaping in front of me as I attempt to pour hot water into a tea cup. OR……as I sit on the John, jump on my lap knowing quite well my legs are exposed and if I attempt to move the claw factor takes effect. Or, because I have allergies, sleep on my pillow during the day depositing cat dander so that when I turn in….yep….Achooooooooo! Yep….I really think they are out to kill me.

    • Haha! That made me laugh so much – I can relate to all of it! They seem to love keeping me company if I go to the loo – even when I shut the door they manage to open it and come and meow at my feet…

  23. I know this stare! And I love your photo! My cat uses it to bait me into a reciprocal game of hide and seek–in which both of us make utter fools of ourselves. Racing or sneaking here and there, creeping around, doing everything we can to get the stare in motion (from behind whatever offers cover) and see who backs down first! I find it hilarious. I think Smudge finds it weird, strange and slightly disturbing!

    • Haha! That sounds like fun! Daisy’s favourite thing to chase is a crisp packet that has been folded into a triangle. She fetches it like a dog and will drop it at my feet… Thanks Elouise!

  25. That photo had me in fits of laughter. When my cat does that it means he’s about to leap onto my bed and rip my toes to shreds because I moved them under the quilt. When he’s done, he throws up on the floor and goes to play somewhere else. Want to swap?

    • Thanks my lovely – that brings back memories… When they were kittens they used to stalk my toes at night so I had to start wearing socks! They never threw up afterwards though, but Daisy had a chronic stomach infection when I first got her (she was close to death when I obtained her) so I had to deal with a lot of stuff from the other end instead. Nice.

  26. There’s a reason they’re called “Naughty Torties”! I had one that packed more action and adventure into her single year of life than most cats manage in a lifetime, but she played with the traffic one too many times. I’d love another though – really fun to have.

  28. This is hilarious! My cat tries to kill me all the time. Oh, BTW, ‘Poppy’ is what the Bush Boys called their daddy, the First Bush Prez.

    • Haha! Thanks Martha – I shared the pic on Facebook too and my friends thought it was hilarious… Perhaps I should start creating a photo album of all these sorts of pics that I have of her

  30. Yes, that’s a murderous expression. But now that you’ve made it public, she may reconsider. So if you suffer an “unusual” accident, we will all direct the proper authorities to Daisy.

  31. I get it. My dog is not a fan of winter. We have had a few weeks of really cold weather. I catch him looking at me as if to say, “I know this is your fault.” At times we have to chase him, to put is coat and leash on him to take him out. He growls and nips at us. He is very smart and has VERY strong opinions (spoiled). I recommend you do as I do, sleep with one eye open for a while. 🙂

    • Haha! My mother’s dogs absolutely adore the snow and have a great time running around in it. However, I once attempted to put Daisy out after it had just snowed and she was far from happy about it… Perhaps she’s still seeking revenge for it!

  33. I love it. Oh my gosh, makes me think of my dog. It makes you wonder what goes on in their little heads. I always seem to narrate their thoughts as if somehow they are a very complex being lol.

    • Haha! Because she is diabetic, she is on special dietary food that costs four times the amount of normal cat food, but she still insists on trying to eat her brother’s food instead. Typical.

    • a) Thank you! I’m really pleased it made you laugh!
      b) I didn’t either until she was diagnosed with it haha! It’s certainly not the easist of things to maintain – I have to inject her twice a day with insulin. Fun!

  36. Disturbing to say the least. We have a weenie dog, and she is either eating or sleeping. If she is mad, she sulks off to her bed and won’t give you the time of day 🙂

  37. I think all cats plot to kill their owners some days, but that picture is seriously malicious. I’d sleep with my door locked tonight if I were you…

    Stopping by from the Sitsgirls sharefest.

  38. Pingback: Sorry, I’m Not Sorry | Suzie81 Speaks

  39. Cats are always plotting to kill you. It’s just what they do. I have four and they’re constantly trying to trip me up or smother me. On a slightly different note, I once had two rats called Daisy and Poppy.

    • Aww! I had a pet rat too! Daisy gets a look on her face where you know she’s plotting to take over the earth, but both of them are the biggest softies – anyone who is in the house is fair game for a cuddle!

  40. I definitely recommend you trade that cat in for a dog before it’s too late! My dog has never looked at me like that. Well, actually as long as I’m not trying to bath him and forget to hide the hose in his coat. Yes, he clawed me and was rather crazed but that’s the only exception. I don’t think doggies plot against their humans xx Rowena

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