One Year On and I Still Miss Her

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imageIs been a year since I lost my little friend.

For some, owning a pet is the same as buying an object, or a piece of furniture. For me, our pets become part of the family – needing the same love and care that we would give to any human being. While many may roll their eyes at the sentiment, she was my companion for thirteen years. I had adopted her from an RSPCA shelter when she was six, and by all accounts hadn’t had the easiest start in life, but I was surprised by how quickly she settled into a comfortable life with me. When so many things changed, she remained my constant through the good and bad. She was a little character, she made me laugh and crappy days at work would seem far less crappy after I had been greeted by her at the door as I arrived home. I bought her the best food I could afford, toys to play with, I had many sleepless nights when she was sick. She would regularly assist me when marking my students coursework by choosing the paper I was working on to sit on. I would wake up at 5.00am to find a fluffy paw tapping my face, indicating that she wanted breakfast, which she would then promptly ignore after her bowl had been filled. I took as many pictures of her as my friends did of their newborn babies. We were a little team, with my friends and family often enquiring after her before they asked anything about me.

A year ago she left me – at the grand old age of nineteen – and saying goodbye was one of the most painful things I have ever had to do. I know that she was ill and she had a good life with me, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and miss her very much. I miss the 5.00am wake up calls. I miss marking coursework without having to remove her from my papers first. I miss the little squeak I would get from her when she realised I was home. Of course, I still have the other two little monsters,  but there is, and always will be, an empty space that she left behind.

I’m grateful for the years I had with her. I just wish they hadn’t gone so quickly.

Miss you, my little friend…

 

91 thoughts on “One Year On and I Still Miss Her”

  1. Suzie, I really sympathize. I love my cats like they are cherished family. We just a few days ago found a mass on Hamlet’s paw which appears to be carcinoma. I feel like I will have to say goodbye soon. I know you miss your Lucy and I miss mine everyday. Sending you light and love. -Jill

      • I’m going to the vet in an hour. On the phone they said the mass was cancerous, but the oncologist I appointment is today to discuss everything. I’m afraid the outlook is not so good. I just have to enjoy the time I have left with him and remember he has had a good life.

  2. I miss my puppy, Roxie. She’s been gone for a little over a year now. She was with me for two major moves–new towns, people…it’s hard to lose a pet. They’re family, you know? I feel for you.

  3. So so hard. Facing this with my dog right now. Makes me emotionally and almost physically ill to think of what lies ahead shortly. I think I can hardly bear to make that final decision. Thanks for sharing. I know I am not alone with the pain of saying good-bye.

    • I’m so sorry – it’s so difficult and they never quite leave us even when they’re gone… You’ll make the right decision when it arrives, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the decision that we want. Thinking of you…

  4. Oh Suzie, this made me so sad! I have two fluff balls and they are seriously as close to having kids as I’ll probably get. They are truly a part of my family so I totally know where you’re coming from. She looked like a gorgeous little friend xx

  5. Sunday will mark two years since I lost my Molly at age 17. I’ve been in tears several times this week just thinking about it. Our babies are our babies, be they two- or four-legged. I wish you peace as you commemorate your lost loved one.

  8. She was beautiful, Suzie and I can tell from this and other posts, still in your heart. This brought a tear to my eye, you loved her very much, I can tell. Big hugs.
    She reminds me of my Candace (who I got from the SPCA and passed away at 17 years old) – they are gone, but they will always be with us.

  13. We certainly feel for your loss. Still hard for my other half over the loss of her “Rhett” He was 16 & had saved her from a fire in her house so she was especially close to him. It’s very hard to lose a “furbaby” as they love us unconditionally.

  14. So hard to lose them, I know. I was missing my late cat today, too. He lived to be 17. Pets are definitely family members in this household.
    Sounds like she lived a great life with you, and you were lucky to have each other. ❤

  15. I feel the same way about my babies. They are my family and love me unconditionally, make bad days better and good days great! Each one has left their paw print on my heart.

  16. What a sweet memorial to your dear friend. I can relate; I lost my sweet feline friend in early 2014. Adopted as a kitten from a local shelter, she was my constant companion and friend over 17 years. I still miss her and think of her every day.

  19. I’m so sorry Suzie, no matter how much time passes,we never forget our beloved pets. In Writing 101, I’ve written two posts about my dog Oreo who died in 2011. The writing was cathartic for me but opened up tender memories. She had a beautiful life with you and look how long she was in your life–19 years is very long for most animals. As I write this comment, my two sweet dogs are right her on the sofa with me. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt post ❤

  20. I so understand. There will be a lot of people who won’t understand what I’m about to say, and that’s ok. My fur babies are my kids since I have no kid-kids. But one in particular, BabyDoll, was my little furry son. I do believe that we can have furry angels, and he was mine. He looked like Oscar the Grouch (poor Persian in him) but he was the chill, coolest kitty ever. When I got divorced, he just knew how to make me feel better. He slept on my ex’s pillow and reaching out and feeling his fur I was comforted and could go to sleep. It’s been 4 years and 4 months since I lost him, and I will always miss him.

    Big hugs to you and your sweet friend and angel-kitty.
    K

      • I believe in them with all my heart. Every kitty is special – but then there are the ones who are just even “more”. With the way they love us- better than how some people love- I have no doubt they have souls. I have a bunch of bachelor kitty angels waiting for me. Makes me smile whenever I think of them playing with a sack of catnip together. 🙂 hugs.

  21. This is so touching Suzie, and cathartic writing I suspect. I don’t think we ever stop missing them when they’re gone, nor can they be replaced. – I have a house full of pets now, that are much loved, but they are not (nor ever can be) my Ellie. – Ellie was a German Shepherd, and she was my baby, words don’t cover how much she meant to me, and I to her. Iv’e got her picture pinned up inside one of my kitchen cupboards, and talk to her (sounding mad I’m sure) when I go in for a cup. 🙂

  22. She was adorable. I understand your feelings and the emptyness. I lost my dog two years ago and still miss him. He was 13 years old and I’ve had him since he was a puppy. They live on in our hearts and memories… I got tears in my eyes reading your post – beautiful written about your friend ❤

  24. 19 is a fantastic age for a kitty to live to, she obviously had a very happy and content life with you. I got my cat when I was 7 so it was like we’d grown up together, her copying me/me copying her! Even 10 years on my mum and myself will very occasionally feel her behind us, or see her shadow in the corner of our eye – it’s strange and lovely. Do you ever do that?

  25. My Raymond has been gone for 8 years, and I still miss him, too. Pets are little, furry people who love us unconditionally. They don’t care if we are fat, poor, awkward, ugly, etc. They love us warts and all. That is what makes them unique. They see past things most people can’t or won’t. Your little friend knew she was loved back. You were lucky to have each other.

  28. My pets are like one of my children and I know how hard it is when they have to leave us. My beloved Angus just died the end of March and every night I still keep expecting him to jump in the bed.

  31. This made me shed a tear, as at the time of reading I have my fluffy baby on my lap. The mere thought of her leaving is impossibly awful to me as she is my best friend and closest companion. She’s a
    Ways here for me, and I would miss our walks into the woods together.
    She really is my baby. I feel for you and wish you strength.

  32. And I miss my little friend George – so named as he was de-sexed on St Georges day. From the RSPCA too, George was 1 years old when we brought him home. He lived as a house rabbit and although he didn’t give us much – we all loved him and still miss him.

  33. I had a lovely little tortie girl a few years back. She was a tiny package of complete mischief. Whenever I see tortie cats, I always think of the scrapes she got into, like walking along the landing rail, slipping and landing on the hall floor below. She just jumped up and trotted to her basket fora bit, hoping that no one noticed. I’ve never been able to bear the house without paws, when we’ve been in between pets. They make a home.

  34. Oh, she looks exactly like my cat Buffy! Buffy was given to me by a friend when I was first diagnosed with cancer. She slept on the end of my bed all through my treatment, cuddling up besides me on the days I felt the most ill. She lives with my Mum now but I see her regularly. They hold such a special place in your heart XXX

  35. We put my dog down in August 2013. I’ll always miss him. Personally, I don’t think people who view pets as objects should be able to buy them. I’m like you; pets are a member of the family. My entire was devastated when Bosco died. Even though you’re doing the right thing, it still hurts.

    • I totally agree Samantha, and I’m so sorry for your loss. I think there should be much stricter rules and regulations for being able t keep animals… But that’s a whole new post in itself!

    • Thanks – I have two other cats, a brother and sister, that I have had for ten years, but one has type 1 diabetes and I am expecting to have to make another similar decision sooner rather than later…

  39. I feel for you Suzie. I miss each and every pet I’ve ever owned. My greyhound is 12 now and I am trying not to think about the inevitable. They do become like family members. In fact sometimes I think they are better than family! 🙂

    • Aww I adore greyhounds, such a beautiful breed for families. It’s a long time to have a pet, so they do become part of the family. It’s so difficult when they leave us…

  40. I could barely get through your post. I’ve always said that people either have pets or they have furchildren. I still miss my furchild. It’s devastating and no one who has a pet will understand. ❤ She was beautiful.

  41. My Maltese Terrorist died only a few weeks ago. He was a rescue dog and he was such a character. Unfortunately he did not have a good start and I suspect that contributed to his later illnesses. My only hope is that he knew how much everyone- even friends who visited – loved him. I’ll miss him for a long time.

  42. She was a beautiful cat! I agree they are part of the family and it is very hard to lose them. Our cat is turning nine this month and I dread the thought of him not being with us someday. We have had him since he was a kitten. They really are irreplaceable 😦

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