After today’s election result I have come to the decision that Britain must be made up of masochists – it must be the reason why Fifty Shades sold so many copies over here. Granted, the pickings were slim and we essentially had two choices: Odo from Star Trek or Wallace from Wallace and Gromit.
It was hardly a Rumble in the Jungle, more of a posh girly slap fight in the park with lots of added graphics and a massive jigsaw of the UK on the floor, but I have been riveted since early this morning.
After being whipped by Odo for the last five years, it seemed common sense to me that people would prefer to give Wallace a chance to exercise his cat o nine tails. There would certainly be pain, but the hope was there that he would possibly go a little easier on us… There was also the added bonus in that a certain Twitter antagonist and all-round wind-up merchant said she would leave the country if Wallace won. It seemed like a win/win situation all round.
Unfortunately, the British public obviously likes pain. Lots of it. And when the chance to slow it down arrived, we patted Odo on the head, told him that it was ok, rolled over and asked for more.
I don’t like pain. I don’t like being in a job that is so stressful it has made me ill. I don’t like waiting for hours in an emergency room because there isn’t enough funding for hospital staff. I don’t like watching my friends lose their jobs, or people lose their homes because they have more bedrooms than people. I don’t like having to bail banks out while their CEOs and shareholders received six figure bonuses.
So, for those of you, like me, who need cheering up today, here is the only thing that I have found that has made me smile on what I consider to be a dark day in British political history…
Yes, it’s a kitten, from underneath.
I hope I am proven wrong…
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