GE2015: Fifty Shades Of Numpty

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After today’s election result I have come to the decision that Britain must be made up of masochists – it must be the reason why Fifty Shades sold so many copies over here. Granted, the pickings were slim and we essentially had two choices: Odo from Star Trek or Wallace from Wallace and Gromit.

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Separated at birth…

It was hardly a Rumble in the Jungle, more of a posh girly slap fight in the park with lots of added graphics and a massive jigsaw of the UK on the floor, but I have been riveted since early this morning.

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Cracking cheese, Gromit!

After being whipped by Odo for the last five years, it seemed common sense to me that people would prefer to give Wallace a chance to exercise his cat o nine tails. There would certainly be pain, but the hope was there that he would possibly go a little easier on us… There was also the added bonus in that a certain Twitter antagonist and all-round wind-up merchant said she would leave the country if Wallace won. It seemed like a win/win situation all round.

Unfortunately, the British public obviously likes pain. Lots of it. And when the chance to slow it down arrived, we patted Odo on the head, told him that it was ok, rolled over and asked for more.

I don’t like pain. I don’t like being in a job that is so stressful it has made me ill. I don’t like waiting for hours in an emergency room because there isn’t enough funding for hospital staff. I don’t like watching my friends lose their jobs, or people lose their homes because they have more bedrooms than people. I don’t like having to bail banks out while their CEOs and shareholders received six figure bonuses.

So, for those of you, like me, who need cheering up today, here is the only thing that I have found that has made me smile on what I consider to be a dark day in British political history…

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Yes, it’s a kitten, from underneath.

I hope I am proven wrong…

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

 

24 thoughts on “GE2015: Fifty Shades Of Numpty”

  2. Politics are not my thing but I think we need to change our voting system. Rather than “first past the post” either have “proportional representation” or the “single transferable vote” or sod it lets have it X factor style and get an app, we can vote by text and have at least 5 votes and a big ole song song!

  3. And perhaps allow people who have lived here, invested here, pay taxes here for more than 10 years, to also vote. It stings that I have done all of the above, yet can’t.

  4. Seems the UN member countries all have the same problem. they all seem to want to go straight down the toilet drain. But then the politician’s motto is “Drain the people dry, then ring ’em so that they are bone dry. Once you’re done, tell ’em how lazy they are because they are poor, but never once ease up because they might actually get the idea that you’re screwing them.”

    Thanks for the laugh. needed it.

  6. I spent a lot of today simply asking myself… why?
    I don’t have the right to vote as I don’t have an English passport. And yet, I think I would’ve made a better decision. Scrap that. I don’t think. I know.

  8. Our turn. Canada is supposed to have an election this year. The big story coming out of Alberta, one of our provinces, is they elected a left-of-centre party. If we had coloured states they would be red.

  12. It’s weird, isn’t it – everyone wants to know why. Everyone wants to know how we got here like it’s someone else that did it. It’s the great English (not British – look at Scotland) public that did it. I think it’s because they like the arrogant self-assurance of the Conservatives.

    It’s a class-ridden society like it’s always been – except for those pesky Scots who won’t toe the line.

    All Ed Miliband’s talk of including everyone – the results make you wonder whether people give a shit as long as there’s a Starbucks and iPhones.

  16. The Miliband/Wallace comparison I’ve seen before but Cameron/Odo is genius.

    I won’t comment too much on the political element of the election other than to say that, as the son of immigrant parents, I am disgusted that 1 in 8 people voted for UKIP. I find their desire to close the doors on immigration in the face of considerable economic research to the contrary base and distasteful, but each to their own. I do find it a shame that many Tory voters (of which I am NOT one) don’t dare show their faces on social media because of fear of backlash. I remain unconvinced that voting Tory immediately makes anyone wrong or an idiot. I found plenty at fault with each party’s manifesto – so it’s not a case of simple right or wrong, it’s all subjective. I’m much more angry with people who didn’t vote at all rather than people who voted differently. If you don’t buy a ticket for the raffle, as far as I’m concerned you forfeit the right to complain about who won.

    • 100% my feelings on the matter!
      I’m late to the party here…. and I didn’t vote conservative, but there must be a reason they won? Whether that be people do genuinely believe they are the right party for the job, or that Tory supporters were just more likely to vote. In my opinion, it should be made compulsory for people to vote – but there should also be the option of ‘none’ on the ballot paper for those who feel no party represents them. Until people make it clear they have lost trust in any government, nothing will change.

      • Cameron virtually screamed and yelled disaster for the economy and undoing of his great work in balancing the books, if you vote for the Labour Party. The Royal Bank of Scotland and Lloyds Bank are to be hurriedly sold off as quickly as possible now at a £13.4Billion loss as shares stand. The taxpayer has the bill. Think how many people have bought a house in the last 20 years are still paying for it and are terrified of rising inflation and therefore rising interest rates, more to pay! The virtual brainwashing message from Cameron that the country will plunge into financial disaster if you do NOT vote for him, worked! – assisted by a media, who turned the whole thing into a reality ‘personality’ competition. Nobody asked about manifestoes, or agendas in the media in detail, just who is prettiest and now Cameron will keep sacking Policemen, Firemen and Doctors and Nurses and sell more of my country. Only a tiny % have to vote blue to allow them to form a government, their greatest election fear is people turning out to vote.

  18. I have a feeling (and I hope I am right), that a certain majority in the commons will be slowly eroded away, resulting in another election sooner rather than later. Keep your fingers crossed that I am right, Suzie.

  19. The Budget is due out this week – mind you, we still haven’t passed last year’s budget yet, but there you are. We also have a Conservative government and it’s pretty much the same here. I had some interesting emails from friends in England who suggested that it was a great pity that the SNP didn’t have representation South of the Border – they would have voted for Nicola Sturgeon :o) As for the hope of an early election – we had a minority government (Australia) and we expected that to fall apart, but it held for the full term.

  20. Only a kitten could be that cute from underneath! Maybe in another ten years Greens might get in, when EVERYONE is suicidal from being treated like crap by their government, not just the people who have been made redundant and/or homeless and then arrested for being homeless.

  21. No not masochists, we are deaf to change. Allow me one gentleman’s statistic writing to the editor of the Times – “It is grotesquely unfair for one party with 12.6 per cent of the vote to get one MP while another party with 4.7 per cent of the vote gets 56 MPs”. I think it is more like science-fiction how the population shrinks and bulges as it passes through the wormhole-like entrances to constituencies.

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