What Happened When The Bloke Did My Makeup…

imageDespite having the general fashion sense of a teenage boy, I’ve recently developed a minor obsession with makeup. I’ve always worn it, and have an extensive collection of high street products, but my general makeup routine evolves around the basics. On rare occasions I’ll go all out for a night out, but it isn’t something I’ve ever really been concerned with. I totally blame N – she’s got an amazing sense of style and has talked about her favourite vloggers on numerous occasions, so a little while ago I decided to check out a post or two on YouTube.

Four hours later, I had watched about twenty different videos and completely run down the battery on my phone. I had learned about contouring, highlighting, eyebrows, blending brushes… It was an enlightening experience, and I had to resist the urge to rush out and spend all my savings on the latest Urban Decay palettes (ooh, get me… palettes!). I did, however, remember a few Amazon vouchers that I hadn’t spent since receiving them last Christmas, so I had an enjoyable afternoon buying products that I never knew I wanted.

As is everything with my life at the minute, The Bloke has had to hear all about it, and has responded to my various makeup attempts with ‘erm… yeah, looks good’ whenever he’s returned from work. However, after watching one particular video from my favourite vlogger, Carli Bybel, in which her boyfriend did her makeup for her, I had a silly idea. I text him while he was at work:

Me: I’ve had an idea for a blog post. What about you have a go at doing my makeup?

Him: What, as in I put makeup on you?

Me: Yeah… Thought it would be fun.

Him: Yeah, go on then, I’m game for that.

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A selection of the products I gave him…

I was surprised – I didn’t expect him to agree to it. He’s not exactly a beer drinking, football watching blokey bloke by any means, but he’s well over 6 feet tall, built like a swimmer, has no inclination to wear makeup whatsoever and after a long day it was probably not on his list of priorities. However, I set everything up for when he got back – I gave him a selection of products and brushes and told him that he had to create a look for a night out. I also put on an old shirt, just in case he dropped half of it over me…

I decided to take photographs instead of setting up a video (with us both working in schools it’s not a good idea to have video footage that the kids could find), but with that came the difficulty of having to take pics without looking, so I relied on him to line the camera up.

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The ‘before’ look – my best ‘duck face’ made me look like I had been punched in the face… Sexy. Notice the old shirt just in case he dropped it all over me too.

The look on his face was hilarious… He had no clue what any of it was for and spent about fifteen minutes just opening stuff and reading labels. I eventually asked him if he was going to get started, and he responded with:

“You like your shiny stuff don’t you?!”

He started with the eyeshadow, picking a really dark brown colour.

“Ah, that didn’t quite turn out how I expected.” He then proceeded to put tons of white over the top, and then settled for a bright pink blusher as it was the only ‘colour’ he could find. I couldn’t stop laughing, particularly as he had got fed up with the eyeshadow brush as it ‘didn’t work’ and had put it behind his ear like a carpenter would with a pencil and used a blending brush instead.

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He got fed up with the brush and put it behond his ear like a pencil.

Eventually, after about 45 minutes, he got bored and moved onto the eyeliner. Not realising what the liquid liner was, he picked up a pencil and set to work.

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After 45 minutes, he had put about six different layers of eyeshadow on and was attempting to do some eyeliner. My eyeballs were killing me!

He then attempted to put on the mascara, placing most of it on the top of my lashes and accidentally stabbing me in the eye on several occasions.

Eventually he attempted to put some powder on, told me to make a ‘fish face,’… and then proceeded to do my nose. Hmm… As I was taking pictures and wasn’t allowed to look at the camera, I didn’t quite realise what he was getting up to – I wet myself when I saw this:

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Not quite sure why I had to pinch my cheeks in for him to put powder on my nose, but he seemed to be enjoying himself!

Eventually, he moved onto the lipstick, and I was impressed with the shade that he picked.

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Not the most flattering picture, but he made me laugh as I was trying to take a photograph. I tried convincing him that it was just his colour afterwards but he wasn’t having any of it…

An hour later, and he was finished…

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The finished result… Gorgeous!

To be fair, it wasn’t half as bad as I expected, but I couldn’t understand where any of the makeup actually was considering the amount of products that he had put on.

I suppose he was going for the natural look.

What about you guys? Ever had your partner put makeup on for you? There’s a project for the weekend!!

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks my Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks and my Instagram page http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks

73 thoughts on “What Happened When The Bloke Did My Makeup…

  1. Ha ha, that’s hilarious! I think my hubby would be just as clueless if I asked him – maybe I will just for laughs πŸ™‚ And I’m not much of a make-up person either though I did just invest in the new Urban Decay palette, having lots of fun playing with that.

  2. My ex was into theatre make-up so I am pretty well convinced I would have come out looking like the bride of Frankenstein!

    • Haha! i was surprised that I didn’t with the colour that he first put on, but he spent ages going over it with a light colour so it disappeared! I might ask him to do my a smokey eye look for halloween!

  3. Funny,! Does this mean this is how he would like your makeup from now on? Urban decay is th best and vloggers are Svengalis to make you buy anything, I’ve had to cut back watching. Great post!

  4. Wow, you are both very brave. I cannot imagine what would happen if I let my husband loose with my make-up. I am sure there would lots of choice words bandied about between the two of us. Great post!!!

  5. That was a fun post! He knows more about make-up than I do, by the looks of things. No way would I let PF near me with a make-up palette – he’d apply it like Dulux undercoat. I have more faith in Little My, my 13-year-old daughter who is way more feminine than her mother (god knows how).

  6. Fu post! And you look absolutely lovely but I wouldn’t want to spend an hour on my makeup! I have a 5 min routine, and I’m sticking to it! I did have a makeup artist for my daughter’s wedding and she took an hour, too. I looked great, but then, it was a special event.

    • It’s nice to spend a bit of time and get pampered occasionally isn’t it! I have spent a lot of time practising things i have seen on vlogs and have got quite good at it, but i woulnd’t be able to do it every day!

  7. You’re bonkers letting the bloke do that to you, but you know what? It’s was hilarious reading the step by step guide you gave us, seeing the photos, and then seeing you look almost the same as you did to start with. But what did exactly happen to all that make-up he put on your face? After an hour I thought you’d end up looking like me when, at the age of three, I found my mother’s make-up bag and ended up looking like Coco the clown.

    Well done to you for taking up the challenge. You were very brave but I think may have enjoyed every minute?

      • Oh it didn’t stop there Suzie. I’ll have to tell you all about my five years when I was part on an all male group called “The Condoms”. My first taste of fame was as the middle one in Bananarama, singing “Help”. Boy did we need it! However we raised lots of money for charity over those years.

      • I wish I could like this a thousand times!!! I used to be in a string quartet where our unnofficial name was the ‘G Strings,’ but that’s nowhere near as good as your name!!! Good on you haha!

  8. Are you still looking for a new day job? You two should work up a comedy routine – actually, just repeat this. I’m still laughing but you guys could be laughing all the way to the bank!

    BTW, you have a gorgeous complexion.

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  10. I wouldn’t have know what to do with any of it either. Lipstick…..never use but I get that. Eyeshadow…..When I use it and I seldom do I use one shade…Gray…I wouldn’t know how to use multiple colors. Mascara….
    That’s about it.
    I enjoyed this.

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