Despite having the general fashion sense of a teenage boy, I’ve recently developed a minor obsession with makeup. I’ve always worn it, and have an extensive collection of high street products, but my general makeup routine evolves around the basics. On rare occasions I’ll go all out for a night out, but it isn’t something I’ve ever really been concerned with. I totally blame N – she’s got an amazing sense of style and has talked about her favourite vloggers on numerous occasions, so a little while ago I decided to check out a post or two on YouTube.
Four hours later, I had watched about twenty different videos and completely run down the battery on my phone. I had learned about contouring, highlighting, eyebrows, blending brushes… It was an enlightening experience, and I had to resist the urge to rush out and spend all my savings on the latest Urban Decay palettes (ooh, get me… palettes!). I did, however, remember a few Amazon vouchers that I hadn’t spent since receiving them last Christmas, so I had an enjoyable afternoon buying products that I never knew I wanted.
As is everything with my life at the minute, The Bloke has had to hear all about it, and has responded to my various makeup attempts with ‘erm… yeah, looks good’ whenever he’s returned from work. However, after watching one particular video from my favourite vlogger, Carli Bybel, in which her boyfriend did her makeup for her, I had a silly idea. I text him while he was at work:
Me: I’ve had an idea for a blog post. What about you have a go at doing my makeup?
Him: What, as in I put makeup on you?
Me: Yeah… Thought it would be fun.
Him: Yeah, go on then, I’m game for that.
I was surprised – I didn’t expect him to agree to it. He’s not exactly a beer drinking, football watching blokey bloke by any means, but he’s well over 6 feet tall, built like a swimmer, has no inclination to wear makeup whatsoever and after a long day it was probably not on his list of priorities. However, I set everything up for when he got back – I gave him a selection of products and brushes and told him that he had to create a look for a night out. I also put on an old shirt, just in case he dropped half of it over me…
I decided to take photographs instead of setting up a video (with us both working in schools it’s not a good idea to have video footage that the kids could find), but with that came the difficulty of having to take pics without looking, so I relied on him to line the camera up.
The look on his face was hilarious… He had no clue what any of it was for and spent about fifteen minutes just opening stuff and reading labels. I eventually asked him if he was going to get started, and he responded with:
“You like your shiny stuff don’t you?!”
He started with the eyeshadow, picking a really dark brown colour.
“Ah, that didn’t quite turn out how I expected.” He then proceeded to put tons of white over the top, and then settled for a bright pink blusher as it was the only ‘colour’ he could find. I couldn’t stop laughing, particularly as he had got fed up with the eyeshadow brush as it ‘didn’t work’ and had put it behind his ear like a carpenter would with a pencil and used a blending brush instead.
Eventually, after about 45 minutes, he got bored and moved onto the eyeliner. Not realising what the liquid liner was, he picked up a pencil and set to work.
He then attempted to put on the mascara, placing most of it on the top of my lashes and accidentally stabbing me in the eye on several occasions.
Eventually he attempted to put some powder on, told me to make a ‘fish face,’… and then proceeded to do my nose. Hmm… As I was taking pictures and wasn’t allowed to look at the camera, I didn’t quite realise what he was getting up to – I wet myself when I saw this:
Eventually, he moved onto the lipstick, and I was impressed with the shade that he picked.
An hour later, and he was finished…
To be fair, it wasn’t half as bad as I expected, but I couldn’t understand where any of the makeup actually was considering the amount of products that he had put on.
I suppose he was going for the natural look.
What about you guys? Ever had your partner put makeup on for you? There’s a project for the weekend!!
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Ha ha, that’s hilarious! I think my hubby would be just as clueless if I asked him – maybe I will just for laughs 🙂 And I’m not much of a make-up person either though I did just invest in the new Urban Decay palette, having lots of fun playing with that.
Ooh that’s on my list of things I want to get. I bought an MUA palette that was similar as it’s a bit out of my proce range at the minute…
Yes, it was a bit pricey – I justified it by thinking I won’t buy any more eyeshadow for two years! LOL
Haha! Now there’s my excuse!
My ex was into theatre make-up so I am pretty well convinced I would have come out looking like the bride of Frankenstein!
Haha! i was surprised that I didn’t with the colour that he first put on, but he spent ages going over it with a light colour so it disappeared! I might ask him to do my a smokey eye look for halloween!
Hahaha! This is great Suzie!! x
Thanks my lovely!
I would NEVER let my husband loose on my face… EVER! You brave lady.
Haha! You so should Amanda – I’d love to see the result!!!
Maybe I’ll think about it 😜
You really are gorgeous, young lady.
I think his makeup really enhances my features! Thanks!
Funny,! Does this mean this is how he would like your makeup from now on? Urban decay is th best and vloggers are Svengalis to make you buy anything, I’ve had to cut back watching. Great post!
Oh dear I hope not haha! I’ve now got a wish list and urban decay is definitely at the top of it!
Sign up for their mailing list and shop when friends and family discount comes up!
Ooh that’s a good idea – I hadn’t thought of that!!
It’s usually 20% or 30% depending on the time of year.
Wow, you are both very brave. I cannot imagine what would happen if I let my husband loose with my make-up. I am sure there would lots of choice words bandied about between the two of us. Great post!!!
Haha! I had to spend a while cleaning the palettes afterwards!!! He kept telling me off because I was laughing!
This is funny but cute 🙂 I had a little chuckle.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
My hubby wouldn’t even know where to start although he has been bold enough to attempt styling my hair on occasion (he’s actually not that bad).
Good on the bloke for giving it a try and wow! Brave you. More creative then spending the night with the TV. Fun read for us too 🙂
Thank you! It was certainly not something we’ve done before haha!
That is so funny! I dread to think what would happen if I let my husband loose on me. Well…I just wouldn’t! Not a bad job though – looks pretty natural.
Thanks Gilly! I think that he was going for something a bit darker but didn’t know how to, so just coloured everything in a light pink!
This is hilarious! I wish my bloke would be as daft as this on my blog. You might start a new wiggly eyeliner trend Suzie.
Ooh I like that idea – the wiggly flick!
That was a fun post! He knows more about make-up than I do, by the looks of things. No way would I let PF near me with a make-up palette – he’d apply it like Dulux undercoat. I have more faith in Little My, my 13-year-old daughter who is way more feminine than her mother (god knows how).
Thanks my lovely! I’ve got an image of him wiping your face with a paintbrush!! My mother is far more feminine than I am, glad your little one is picking up the habit early haha!
A valiant attempt!! I am impressed!! 🙂
Haha! It was certainly a lot better than I expected – I had some sort of panda vision in my head!
He did really well considering you said it was layered on! 🙂
Thanks my lovely! He put so much on and yet it didn’t really show up!
So he shouldn’t quit his day job? 🙂
Erm… Maybe not just yet haha!
I wouldn’t know where to start, truly. I think The Bloke deserves a medal for even trying (as do you for letting him). As for the result, you look as lovely as ever.
Aww thanks Dylan! The question is, have you ever had it put on you?
Of course! I used to tread the boards when I was younger so I’m no stranger to a bit of slap. 😉
Please tell me there is photographic evidence?
There is but I was young and cute. You wouldn’t recognise me.
haha! i remember when i went on holiday and we met a group of men (one who my friend has now been married to for 13 years) and we dressed them up in our clothes and put make up on them. They got far more attention that we did that night haha!
Fu post! And you look absolutely lovely but I wouldn’t want to spend an hour on my makeup! I have a 5 min routine, and I’m sticking to it! I did have a makeup artist for my daughter’s wedding and she took an hour, too. I looked great, but then, it was a special event.
It’s nice to spend a bit of time and get pampered occasionally isn’t it! I have spent a lot of time practising things i have seen on vlogs and have got quite good at it, but i woulnd’t be able to do it every day!
That’s why I do my own face! My better half is a Frenchman. He would have my brows thinner than they already are, no lipstick, no foundation. Just eyeliner and a touch of mascara.! In fact, I have my little beauty routine that begins like this: http://atypical60.com/2015/08/27/beauty-bits-from-the-paupered-princess/
ooh thanks, I’ll check it out! When I first read that, I thought you were talking about how he would have his eyebrows!
Next installment, you put it on him? 😀
Bahaha! He doesn’t like his eyes being messed with so I’m not sure he’d be up for that… I should start a campaign or something…
Hilarious! I betcha majority of guys prefer the natural look on girls 🙂
Thanks! It’s surprising how many of them actually do – I think that we have an expectation of what they think without often asking them first! Now there’s a blog post in itself!
Excellent 1st try! (Isn’t that what teachers should say?) Ryan had to put make up on me a couple of years ago when my vision was failing me… I decided to take my chances with what I had… Lol
Haha! Gold star? How was ryan at putting your makeup on?
Very heavy handed and he couldn’t understand how to keep the shadow in certain areas. Also, if I used a pallet, and pointed out the colors to use, sometimes he’d forget which one to use and I’d end up with different colored shadows!
Haha! The palettes can be quite subtle to people who aren’t used to using them before! Did anyone ever say anything?
Yes, but they were super polite… “Did Ryan help you get ready today? He’ll get the hang of it, he’s such a good man!”
Lol a backhanded compliment indeed!
Haha how funny. If I had the opportunity to do that I would make you like like a prostitute from outer space. Multiply this by 10 and that would be it http://youtu.be/SeIJmciN8mo I’m so jealous lol
A prostitute from outer space… nice. Glad you linked this video rather than the Anaconda one – nobody needs to see my ass haha!
I love this!! He did a great job! Think a second career beckons! Great photos!
Haha! Absolutely! I think he was a bit bemused by the fact that I kept laughing so much!
You’re bonkers letting the bloke do that to you, but you know what? It’s was hilarious reading the step by step guide you gave us, seeing the photos, and then seeing you look almost the same as you did to start with. But what did exactly happen to all that make-up he put on your face? After an hour I thought you’d end up looking like me when, at the age of three, I found my mother’s make-up bag and ended up looking like Coco the clown.
Well done to you for taking up the challenge. You were very brave but I think may have enjoyed every minute?
Oh my gosh I have images now of you with lipstick on Hugh haha! I think he was very reserved with what he wanted to do, but I don’t think he’d be up for doing it again!
Oh it didn’t stop there Suzie. I’ll have to tell you all about my five years when I was part on an all male group called “The Condoms”. My first taste of fame was as the middle one in Bananarama, singing “Help”. Boy did we need it! However we raised lots of money for charity over those years.
I wish I could like this a thousand times!!! I used to be in a string quartet where our unnofficial name was the ‘G Strings,’ but that’s nowhere near as good as your name!!! Good on you haha!
Are you still looking for a new day job? You two should work up a comedy routine – actually, just repeat this. I’m still laughing but you guys could be laughing all the way to the bank!
BTW, you have a gorgeous complexion.
Haha! Yes, I think there’s money to be made from it… He’s hilarious!
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I wouldn’t have know what to do with any of it either. Lipstick…..never use but I get that. Eyeshadow…..When I use it and I seldom do I use one shade…Gray…I wouldn’t know how to use multiple colors. Mascara….
That’s about it.
I enjoyed this.
Thank you for the giggle. That was quite cute actually. (Did you get that color off your face? 😉 )
Thanks my lovely! I certainly did – nothing a bit of face wash couldn’t sort out!
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