A Realisation…

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I received the final wage slip from my school today.

Eight months ago, I made the decision that I needed a change. I handed in my resignation, started saving up and have been as frugal as possible in that time, but this morning as I opened the envelope I had quite a frightening realisation.

This is it. I’m on my own. Sh*t just got real.

The confidence I’ve been building up has withered a little – I know that I have steady work lined up, and if I’m very careful it will be enough to live on, but what if? What if it all goes wrong? What if the work dries up? What if I get to Christmas and find that I won’t be able to pay the rent?

It’s terrifying.

However, I’m taking solace from Jim Carrey of all people. In a recent speech he gave at Maharishi University in May, he told a story of his father, who ignored his dreams to be a comic and became an accountant, only to lose his job later on. And then he said something which I am going to hold close to me over the coming months:

I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.

That’s exactly what I’m doing, or at least what I’m trying to do. It may be the best decision I’ve ever made, or I could fall flat on my face.

And if I do, at least I’ll know that I took the chance.

143 thoughts on “A Realisation…

  1. A great film that portrays this message as eloquently as you have is Up In The Air with George Clooney and Anna Kendrick. I highly recommend this film and I will be blogging about its many interpretive messages later today.

  2. That is why artists are starving…they don’t get paid to do what they love, and they don’t care. As do I- I struggled for years to get a good paying job and even today I am unemployed. But it’s given me opportunities of a lifetime to explore and create what I want. I found I’m not the type of person to take orders from others. It’s like the Aesops fable of the dog and the wolf: better is to starve and be free than to filled in chains. As long as you love what you do, starving won’t be as hard to manage.

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