I had a nice day today. I wasn’t needed for any supply, just a small amount of freelance in the afternoon where I get the opportunity to work with some of my favourite students.
Consequently, today has been predominantly a day of doing very little. While I have always been more of a night owl sort, I am beginning to love the very early morning time that I get to myself on these days after The Bloke has gone to work. It’s quiet and peaceful and while I can hear my neighbours taking their children to school or heading for work, I can often be found wrapped in fluffy blankets and reading in my jammies, or watching make-up tutorials on YouTube. Bliss. Sometimes, it’s just nice to do nothing.
After I had finished my ensemble work (which always gives me a huge buzz), I spent some time talking to one of the older students. I’ve known her for a number of years now, and watched her grow from a squeaky teenager into an intelligent, articulate and talented young woman, and we have developed quite a rapport. She told me about a fantastic opportunity that she has been offered to spend time studying in another country, but she was torn about what she should do as she has spent the last two years preparing for university. Of course, putting off university for a year is no big deal – I took a year out myself before I started my first year – but I can see why she is a little daunted by it all… It’s certainly not something I would have had the nerve to do at her age.
However, it did get me thinking about her life in direct contrast to mine. She’s working hard and setting the foundations for her future. She has plans, goals and ambitions.
I remember when I was the same. I had a set of ideals as to what I wanted my life to be, and planned a series of medium and long term goals to reach by the time I was 30. And do you know what? I bloody well achieved them, only to realise that when I had reached the place I thought I should be, it wasn’t what I wanted at all.
I think the conversation this afternoon made me realise that I don’t really have any goals or ambitions anymore, for the first time in as long as I can remember. Instead, I’m happy to sit back, relax and do nothing. I like the idea of not having to go anywhere or plan for constant activities. I don’t mind living from day to day without a secure and permanent job. I’d rather live with less money and sleep soundly at night instead.
Odd how priorities change, isn’t it?