I’m slightly concerned about the search engine terms I’ll receive after this, but I couldn’t resist…
I have two house cats that are getting quite old. One of them has Type 1 diabetes, and needs twice daily insulin injections to make sure that her blood sugars are regulated. Consequently, whenever I go away, I need someone to administer her medication, as putting her in a cattery would be too stressful. Luckily, I have a wonderful friend who looks after them for me, and she very kindly agreed to be on cat-sitting duty while The Bloke and I went to Scotland for a week.
All week, she’s been sending me pics via Facebook messenger to ease my worry on how they were. As we were driving back, she sent me a message to ask what time we would arrive home. It was an exhausting trip, and The Bloke and I were incredibly relieved to be back.
We opened the front door and walked in to this…
Penis balloons everywhere. We both creased up with laughter, and I immediately knew why she was inquiring about our arrival time – it must have taken her ages… I also noticed that she had colour co-ordinated the round balloons too – clearly she had put some thought into it!
It didn’t stop there – she had arranged the cards we had received in the mail, along with a bottle of champagne, a bottle of pre-mixed mojito (my favourite cocktail), a large selection of chocolate and crisps in a lovely display on the fireplace and had stuck a personalised banner on the wall. In the fridge were even more goodies, with dips and snacks…
I rang her:
Ness: Hello?
Me: I’m a bit worried, there’s something wrong with the house!
Ness: What?!
Me: Somebody’s put penis balloons all over the living room!
Ness: (Burst out laughing) I don’t know what you mean, they’re just decorative!
I know that she can make good balloon animals (this was something that she randomly revealed in the pub a while ago), but she’s obviously been keeping certain areas of her balloon skills quiet. She’s missing out on an opportunity here – she’d make a fortune at hen parties!
The balloons are still up – I keep getting hit in the head whenever I walk past some of them, and the room smells like balloon rubber, but they make me smile.
I have amazing friends…
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Suzie Speaks 
Ha ha! What a wonderful friend, and a great post 🙂
Haha! Yeah, she’s a keeper! It was hilarious!
hahahaha –
She’s missing out on a lot of money here – I don’t know of many people who have that sort of talent!
You do have an amazing friend. Keep her.
Haha! I certainly will! I’ve known her since I was about 19 – we used to work in the same pub and bonded over songs from Grease 2…
That’s hilarious, Suzie. I love your friend’s sense of humor and the fact that she also left chocolate and champagne. Awesome friend!
She’s amazing – I’m so lucky to have her haha! I sort of feel bad that I didn’t do anything for her when i was bunny sitting her rabbit that hates me!
At least you didn’t turn into a Bunny Boiler, your friend should be so grateful for that 😉
Yeah – and even though he hates me he’s really cute so that’s a bonus…
Next time!
Definitely!
I just can’t help wondering what they’re pointing at ;p
There’s one that isn’t in the pics that is sticking straight out from the wall. I laugh every time I walk past it…
You’ll hurt its feelings.
I hadn’t considered the range of emotions a balloon penis may have…
They’re easily deflated.
Bah boom! Pun of the day goes to you my friend!
Perhaps the best blog post title I’ve ever seen.
Haha! Thanks!
Wow.
Most inventive title ever!
As always, great post, Suzie.
And yes, those search engine responses should be interesting…
I can’t wait to see what nastiness appears over the next few weeks haha!
Being that I also just wrote a post with the word “penis” in the title, I’m wondering what’s become of me. Perhaps I need to spend more time in the bedroom. Hehe. Love this! A friend who gives you penises is a true friend indeed 😀
There must be penis in the air… I think I’m going to get the last part of your comment done in beautiful calligraphy, frame it and give it to my friend haha!
How can you NOT read a blog titled “Penis Balloons”? 51 unread emails this morning, but guess which one I read first?
Bahaha! I think I’ve just found another way to increase my stats!
You will have to do a post about the search terms you get… wonderful! So glad you arrived safely and so glad there was this surprise waiting for you.
Thanks my lovely! It was certainly something completely unexpected!!
that’s what makes it the best
HaHA! What a lovely welcome home. That was so thoughtful of your friend. Looks like she does have a hidden talent there! 🙂
I’m considering being her manager and hiring her out to parties…
Wise move! 🙂
Great ending to a great vacation.
Haha! Definitely! What a surprise to walk in to!
there’s so much I want to say to this… that was some job blowing them up… but this is family friendly. A Perfectly Pitched Penile Present will suffice. Your friend is the sort, I expect, who if you called at 2am having sliced your finger and needing A&E would take you for a kebab first. Perfect.
Yup, she would bandage my finger herself first… Ooh – the 4 p’s – love it! And I’m impressed at your reserve Geoffle!
LOL I love it! That’s a good friend!
Haha! Yes she is!
Just amazing! Now that is a good friend! Made me laugh too.
Haha! Yup, she’s a special one! I’m certainly very lucky to have her!
We all need friends like that!
What an amazing thing to do! I cock my hat to your friend!
She’s such a clever sausage…
She’s the bollox lol
Erm… Yeah I’ll let you win as my brain has run off…
Haha – hilarious & really sweet!
Haha! Yes, she’s a legend!