Penis Balloons

I’m slightly concerned about the search engine terms I’ll receive after this, but I couldn’t resist…

I have two house cats that are getting quite old. One of them has Type 1 diabetes, and needs twice daily insulin injections to make sure that her blood sugars are regulated. Consequently, whenever I go away, I need someone to administer her medication, as putting her in a cattery would be too stressful. Luckily, I have a wonderful friend who looks after them for me, and she very kindly agreed to be on cat-sitting duty while The Bloke and I went to Scotland for a week.

All week, she’s been sending me pics via Facebook messenger to ease my worry on how they were. As we were driving back, she sent me a message to ask what time we would arrive home. It was an exhausting trip, and The Bloke and I were incredibly relieved to be back.

We opened the front door and walked in to this…

Penis balloons everywhere. We both creased up with laughter, and I immediately knew why she was inquiring about our arrival time – it must have taken her ages… I also noticed that she had colour co-ordinated the round balloons too – clearly she had put some thought into it!

It didn’t stop there – she had arranged the cards we had received in the mail, along with a bottle of champagne, a bottle of pre-mixed mojito (my favourite cocktail), a large selection of chocolate and crisps in a lovely display on the fireplace and had stuck a personalised banner on the wall. In the fridge were even more goodies, with dips and snacks…

I rang her:

Ness: Hello?

Me: I’m a bit worried, there’s something wrong with the house!

Ness: What?!

Me: Somebody’s put penis balloons all over the living room!

Ness: (Burst out laughing) I don’t know what you mean, they’re just decorative!

I know that she can make good balloon animals (this was something that she randomly revealed in the pub a while ago), but she’s obviously been keeping certain areas of her balloon skills quiet. She’s missing out on an opportunity here – she’d make a fortune at hen parties!

The balloons are still up – I keep getting hit in the head whenever I walk past some of them, and the room smells like balloon rubber, but they make me smile.

I have amazing friends…

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47 thoughts on “Penis Balloons

  1. Being that I also just wrote a post with the word “penis” in the title, I’m wondering what’s become of me. Perhaps I need to spend more time in the bedroom. Hehe. Love this! A friend who gives you penises is a true friend indeed πŸ˜€

    • There must be penis in the air… I think I’m going to get the last part of your comment done in beautiful calligraphy, frame it and give it to my friend haha!

  2. there’s so much I want to say to this… that was some job blowing them up… but this is family friendly. A Perfectly Pitched Penile Present will suffice. Your friend is the sort, I expect, who if you called at 2am having sliced your finger and needing A&E would take you for a kebab first. Perfect.

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