Don’t Tell Gay People How To Mourn: Dominick Pupa

imageDominick Pupa posted this in response to the recent and horrific Orlando shootings at Pulse nightclub, which thousands of people have liked and shared. Facebook deleted it, so I wanted to share this on the blog. It’s rare that I will make social commentary, but this is an incredible message…

Us gays.
We make you look prettier.
We dress you for your important occasions.
We polish up your neighborhoods until we get priced out of them.
We plan and attend your weddings even though you take vows to an entity that hates us.
We are involved in every movie you see.
We are involved in every TV show you watch.
We are involved in every song you listen to – even the homophobic ones.
We teach your children without having to tell you it’s us.
We protect your communities without having to tell you it’s us.
We nurse you back to health without having to tell you it’s us.
We clean your gutters, paint your houses and mow your lawns without having to tell you it’s us.
We fix your pipes without having to tell you it’s us, even though you let us know what bathroom we can use.
We govern your citizens – sometimes openly, sometimes only until we’re involved in a scandal after years of spewing homophobic rhetoric.
We are on every, single one of the sports teams you root for, but are usually hesitant to say we’re there because we don’t want shit thrown at us on the playing field.
We are at the root of every cue you take in life – even those of you who wish us dead.
We fight and die on your battlefields without letting you know it’s us – and until recently, we weren’t even allowed to let you know.
We got rid of DOMA.
We won the right to marry, which was already guaranteed to us, but we just had to work harder than you.
And now, as though we don’t have enough on our plate, we will absolutely be the ones to fix up your abhorrent fucking gun laws.
Watch it happen, and marvel.
Because that’s what we do.
We clean up your messes.
Without the guarantee of safety and respect in return.
Can you imagine doing ALL of that work without DECENCY as a reward?
So don’t tell me I have to view #PulseOrlando as an attack on America instead of an attack on gay people.
Because we’re not Americans when you call us faggots, we’re not Americans when you legally fire us, we’re not Americans when you kill trans people, we’re not Americans when you deny us adoption rights, we’re not Americans when you say nasty shit to us when we’re holding hands on the street (and yeah, we do hear you) we’re not Americans when you deny us marriage licenses or a simple wedding cake with our names on it.
In all of those circumstances we’re just gay people, and being an American doesn’t matter.
So, out of respect for everyone who fought and died before me, I’m going to take a few days to mourn as a gay man before I mourn as an American.
And then after that, you can resume telling me I have to be at war with people I don’t know, even though I’ve been at war with my own countrymen my entire f*cking life.
Be happy you’re at war with ISIS. Because you would lose a war against us.
Oh, and you’re welcome in advance for the gun thing. Like always.



32 thoughts on “Don’t Tell Gay People How To Mourn: Dominick Pupa

  1. Please tell Dominick Pupa that many of us are also your friends and we’ve stood shoulder to shoulder and voted for the rights that rightfully should belong to everyone. I consider myself one with you because we are. And now I am crying for you and with you.
    Thanks for posting, Suzie. I had no idea this had been taken down from FB.

  2. Wow! This is easily one of the best, most moving piece of writing I’ve read in a long time. Thank you very much for sharing!!

    And Facebook deleted it? 😦

  3. As an American I can tell you that the entire country is mourning what took place at The Pulse. I can also tell you that at every single blood donation center in Orlando the lines wrapped around buildings and down streets as people came forward to give blood. I can also tell you the Go Fund Me contribution site created to raise funds to help those who were injured, or the families of those killed has had the HIGHEST number of funds contributed of any Go Fund Me account. So, if you think America is not mourning, please think again.

  4. Pingback: Don’t Tell Gay People How To Mourn: Dominick Pupa – Sugar, spice, and everything feist

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