I’m tired today.
I feel a little raw and bruised, mainly because of the trauma of yesterday. The atmosphere of the house is different, almost empty. Daisy’s brother, Poppy (yes, I know it’s a girl’s name – long story) settled down well last night until 4.00am, at which point I think he realised that she wasn’t there, and took it upon himself to investigate every room downstairs, crying as he went. It was quite heartbreaking to listen to – this was only the second night in eleven years that he had spent without her and he was clearly feeling lost.
He’s spent most of today being extremely quiet, fast asleep on my lap. It’s odd – normally he has a mad half-an-hour of running around, playing and making lots of noise after he’s been fed, but today he’s just… sad.
Thankfully, both The Bloke and I are off work for the next week so we have the time to be able to get him used to the new situation.
Unintentionally, this morning I also managed to ruin a massive surprise for my birthday that The Bloke has had planned for weeks. My birthday is in November, and I knew that he had something organised, but he wouldn’t tell me what it was or even give me clues as to what to wear (I’m terrible with surprises). On Facebook, I saw an advertisement for the new production of RENT that is touring the UK soon, and I got all excited about it, squeaking at him that I was going to book tickets when I next got paid (we both love RENT). Unfortunately, he then had to reveal that he had already booked tickets for one of the performances in London in December, along with a night in a hotel and train tickets. He’d even arranged for my friend to cat sit.
Bless him. I felt so guilty, particularly when I saw the disappointment on his face, but in another way it was exactly what I needed this morning to lift my spirits (after I had finished crying), and I now know that I have something absolutely incredible to look forward to. It’s funny, we have a history of accidentally ruining surprises for each other.
I’m a very lucky girl indeed. He was absolutely incredible through everything yesterday evening – I couldn’t have got through it without him.
Thank you so much for all the blog and social media messages I’ve received – every single one is appreciated and I’ll reply to them all… This is why I love the community – it’s such a caring and supportive place.