It’s been a bit of a mixed week. I’ve been able to get myself and the house a little more organised in preparation for Christmas, I was in full Blogmas mode and I had plans for various different things to do that would be something to look forward to.
Unfortunately, I’ve also had to deal with a fair bit of negativity, ear bashing and downright rudeness from various areas of my life, and it really killed my blogging buzz. Hence, instead of blogging daily, as was my intention, I took more of a backseat and did more social media promo than writing until I had calmed down a bit – I never quite trust my own ability to censor myself when I’m cross.
A rather nasty comment I received the other night didn’t help.
I finally got my hair cut and had gone to the pub with my friend and her fiancé – we had ended up walking to another area in the city in the pouring rain as all of the pubs and bars in the city centre were packed and as a result my shoes and feet were soaked through. I was really uncomfortable for most of the afternoon, but we ordered food, I felt really good about myself as I had nice make-up on and a new hair do and had a nice time. Later on, as the pub was getting busy, I decided to go home, so I went and stood in the doorway to ring a taxi.
I started talking to a really nice bloke who was outside having a cigarette – I picked up on the fact that he had a slightly northern accent and we talked about how we found it as Northeners living in Birmingham. He high-fived me as he said goodbye and went back inside. Next, a young lad came outside and we got into a conversation about weddings – he should have got married in September but he and his ex split up. He was only 23, and I told him he should enjoy being young and single without worrying about settling down yet, and he agreed. All nice, polite and respectful.
We were then joined by a big group of loud and lairy lads who were obviously his mates. They were all laughing and shouting at him – the usual silly things that young men often say when they’re surrounded by testosterone: ‘aww mate, have you pulled!’ ‘Go on lad, you’re in there!’
One of them then yelled ‘Ah man, it’s like Dublin all over again!’
This was the conversation that followed:
Me: What happened in Dublin?
Him: He pulled this fat munter!
Me: So, you’re saying I’m a fat munter then?
Him: It’s alright love, he likes them wide.
The whole group laughed, but I could see that the lad I was originally talking to was really embarrassed and his face was blushing a bright crimson.
I was gutted. I was minding my own business and in the space of two seconds his words resulted in my confidence hitting the floor.
I wasn’t going to let him get away with that, politely telling him that me and my wide self would be going home to my 6’3″ fiancé, and that he should carry on playing by himself with his diseased little button mushroom and hope that it doesn’t fall off before he meets a woman mad enough to want to go anywhere near him.
It didn’t change the fact that I wanted to cry. My weight is my biggest source of mental and physical discomfort, so this was the worst possible thing that could have been said, and accompanied with the fact that I’ve been a bit disappointed at various points throughout the week, I decided to take a few days to wallow (perhaps an unfortunate phrase to use, considering it brings to mind the image of a muddy hippopotamus) and build myself back up.
I got over myself, I’m feeling better and now have a whole list of posts ready to go for the next week. Crappy behaviour from others reflects their character, not mine… I am more than the words of others.
And I’m going to see RENT this week too!
What about you guys? Do you spend too long thinking about the comments of others?
You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks, my Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks and my Instagram page http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks.