The Wrong Dress

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In the early hours of Friday morning, I was in a hotel room getting ready for my wedding. My family were there, the guests had started arriving, the registrar was waiting and I was putting on my wedding dress. Suddenly, my dress had changed to a pink and red flower summery monstrosity and I was frantic – where had my dress gone? I looked in the same cupboards over and over, then went downstairs to ask for help, only to discover that the guests had started to eat their wedding buffet, and were complaining that there wasn’t enough food. My dress was nowhere to be found so I ran back upstairs to look in the same cupboards again, with no luck. I realised I still hadn’t put my make-up on so I decided to wear the wrong dress and started scrabbling around in an effort to find my eyeliner, only for The Bloke to walk into the room looking upset. Except, it wasn’t The Bloke – it was actor Kevin McKidd, who I thought was The Bloke. He informed me that the registrar had grown tired of waiting and had cancelled the wedding and also cancelled our passports, which meant that we couldn’t go on our honeymoon. He handed me a sticker that I had to put on my passport to make it invalid. I was so disappointed…

…and then I woke up.

That’s the fourth dream I’ve had in the last week that have been about a wedding disaster. Mostly, it’s been about the dress (which I have already bought), but occasionally it has been about the flowers not arriving, the food being ordered etc. I always wake up in a panic, which then means that I have to check and double check my list to make sure that everything has been done, which it has.

I’ve been talking about it and planning it for so long and it has always been something that is happening in the future, but the realisation that it is very close is becoming more and more apparent. It isn’t the marrying The Bloke part that is causing me anxiety – I’m desperately looking forward to that – it’s the day itself and my brain isn’t processing it properly yet.

So, I’ve decided to try and adopt the approach of ‘what happens, happens.’ If I suddenly can’t find my dress and have to wear my jeans, then that’s what I’ll do. If the flowers don’t show up, I won’t have flowers. If the food is crap, I’ll get a takeaway on the way home.

So if anyone sees a slightly drunken northerner wearing jeans and a hoodie and scoffing a McDonalds late at night in Birmingham at the end of October, accompanied by a handsome Silver Fox in a suit, you’ll know how successful the day has been…

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80 thoughts on “The Wrong Dress”

  1. Suzie, a wedding wouldn’t be a wedding without some problem or two. My daughter’s nearly perfect wedding had a couple, which after a while you can laugh at. Be calm, things will be fine. I think you’re dreaming about it because it is the focus of your thinking right now. That’s how it is with me. Dreams do let off a lot of that mental energy, so they’re good for you! And it’s a really funny dream!

  4. The only important thing is that you and the Bloke get married – everything else (however beautiful to have) is just window-dressing, the icing on the (wedding!) cake, so just remember to enjoy your day, surrounded by the people you love, no matter what. Hope you both have the best fun marrying each other, and wishing you both a lifetime of happiness together 🙂 ❤ x

  5. You would be a radiant, beautiful bride in a burlap bag… The Bloke will be so overjoyed to see you, the dress or whatever you end up wearing will be secondary. Nine years ago today my youngest got married. The reception food was crap, but no one seemed to notice, and they keep telling me to this day how wonderful the food was… Almost 43 years ago, the day before my wedding was like a spring day and I even considered calling the photographer to have outdoor pictures taken… the day of my wedding I woke up to a blizzard, literally, 24 inches by 8 a.m.. Your day will be wonderful. I cannot wait to read about it. This was a hilarious post, actually… sort of like those pregnancy dreams where people dream they give birth to a chicken, but boy do they love that chicken!!! And truth be told, after 43 years, if my hubby turned out to be Kevin McKidd, well, that would just be icing on the cake! <3, Cathi (DAF)

  9. It will be a perfect day whatever happens! Everyone says our wedding was one of the best they’ve been to…they didn’t notice that the bride arrived a hour early and had to sit in a freezing cold car at the end of November, ducking down when guests went past. Or that it was far too dark and foggy to have the planned photos outside so there was an emergency discussion with the photographer which culminated in us comandeering the hotel staircase. Or that the evening guests were arriving whilst we were still eating the wedding breakfast… Best day of my life!

  10. Oh you’ve made me laugh Suzie. Perfectly natural. I’m currently giving birth to kittens over my 60th birthday part at the end of the month – what if nobody turns up is my recurrent theme! Have a lovely wedding – all the fripperies won’t matter at the end of the day.

  12. OMG! I was genuinely stressed out for you in that first paragraph!

    There are always a few things that go wrong at weddings, but you’ll be with your bloke, so that is all that matters! 😀

  14. When I married Mr Grump we both only wanted a quiet day with just a few people. However, I hadn’t realised just how small the room was where we got married (yes it really was only a small room). We were told it wouldn’t hold many people which was ok as it was t 10am and most of the guests were just coming to the evening reception. Anyway, my wedding dress took up much of the limited room we did have, and my brother, step mum and a couple of friends enjoyed watching us exchange vows through the window (thank God it was downstairs) and dry outside! We had a great day despite that and I am sure you and the Bloke will have a fantastic wedding.You have put a lot of thought and effort into it, and now you can’t do any more other than have a fantastic dayxxx

  16. My wedding day, my grandfather misplaced his mental filter once again and mentioned my sister (who is sensitive about her weight) could stand to lose a few pounds minutes before the music began. Afterward, our photographer got it into her head that my husband’s name was Jonathan (it is not) and so our wedding album is filled with increasingly annoyed fake smiles. If that wasn’t enough fun, our limo driver got lost between the ceremony and reception and we forgot our cue for the first dance music so danced to whatever was playing. I hear the food was outstanding – I didn’t get to eat it as I spend much of the reception politely nodding at my dad’s partner’s wife’s retelling of the wonderful time she had on her trip to our honeymoon destination all the while looking yearnful at my plate (so close yet so far away). Still, it was a wonderful day (14 yrs next week) as I am sure yours will be too (even if you wear a hoodie).

  18. Oh dear, I hope you don’t mind that this made me laugh! You’re going to be gorgeous and it’s going to be a great day 🙂 Every wedding has a snag or two, but usually nothing anyone would ever know about except for the bride and groom – at our wedding, someone parked across the gate to the courtyard where we’d arranged special lighting, a jazz band and a candlelit staircase leading to the reception room. No one could go in there, so the wedding staff simply brought everyone in another way. I was upset about it at the time, but no one noticed. Also my makeup was a disaster, but I just redid it (after crying most of it off! haha) Still, I remember it as a fabulous day and the important thing was that we got married, and did so the way we wanted to, with the people we wanted there.

  20. We only had one thing go wrong at our wedding. We had two tables reserved for our immediate families. My family was tiny; my husband’s was huge. They were quicker than mine and immediately filled both tables, leaving my mother, grandmother and brother and his family with nowhere to sit. My new hubby and I had our first (brief) argument, and he had to ask his family to move to make room for mine. I’m not sure why they were so oblivious, and looking back now, it was just a minor blip on an otherwise perfect day. I’m sure you will do well on your day and everything will be wonderful.

    • Oh no! It’s the same with mine and The Bloke’s family – my family is really small and his is massive, but the difference is that his family is polite and mine can be quite loud and would have no problem sitting down in the middle of them all haha!

  21. My make up artist cancelled on me less than a week before my wedding…via email!
    Thankfully she also helped me find a replacement who was just as good (possibly better) and charged me less.
    My advice is; if something doesn’t happen the way you envisioned it just think “plot twist” and roll with it. Relax and enjoy the day. 🙂

  22. Now the writer in you is creating the perfect storyline! Inspiration is practically screaming out of you. Use it. Write those demons away and when your special day is over and you’re sitting next to your silver fox, holding his loving stare, spare a thought for your demons trapped in your writing, forever. 😉

  24. Totally understandable, but loving the ‘what will be’ attitude. I’ll wager it will go off without a hitch, if you pardon the pun! Just remember to enjoy every moment when the big day arrives! Sx

  25. Look at it this way, you already ‘lived’ through a disaster in your dream – the real thing is going to be a hundred, million, billion times better! Many congratulations to you both – hope your day is magical xx

  27. My husband went dirt bike riding a week before the wedding and broke one ankle. He walked down the aisle with the crutch on one side. People asked if I wanted to postpone, I said ‘no.’ My daughter planned as much as she could. The night before the wedding, I stayed with her, massage her head and asked her to relax, not to worry about anything. The wedding was 99.9% expected. I don’t know if anyone had a perfect wedding.
    Congrats, do your best and relax, Suzie!

  28. Anxiety dreams are perfectly normal so close to a big event like this. I’m sure the real thing will be fine. My oldest friend is getting married at the end of this month too 🙂

  29. Half of the fun of an exciting life event like this is anticipation. But there is also stress involved even though this is a happy change for you. In this case I’m not going to wish for your dreams to come true but that you have a dream wedding!

  31. It will be awesome, you’ll be blown away! Some things that you have planned won’t happen, it’s almost a certainty… you won’t even notice!

    I’m hoping to hook up with you guys soon, quick last minute catch up. I’ll message you.

  32. You said something very telling in there, Suzie. I’m paraphrasing here, but you’re looking forward to being married, but stressing about the wedding. I’ve always thought that too much emphasis is put on the day, and not enough to the life after it. Deep down, it sounds to me as if you’ve got your priorities right. And if things go badly on the day, remember it’ll make for a much more interesting story after the event. I wish you and the Bloke well for your life together

    • You made me feel so much better Graeme, thanks! You’re right – I think I’m not as bothered about the wedding as such because I’m more interested in the marriage thing rather than the one day…

  33. Hmmmm, I was in the midst of posting a comment when it disappeared due to my finger mashing too many buttons on the keyboard, accidentally. Everyone worries about the day. Everyone. But,….even if there are minor incidents, they will just add to day. Every bride has a story from her wedding day. Every bride. Regardless, I just know the bride and the day will be beautiful. Breathe easy. 🙂

  34. This too shall pass? When something goes wrong, shout ‘plot twist!’ Don’t worry, be happy?

    I’m out of sayings. Something always goes wrong no matter how perfectly you plan it. And you will laugh about it later. Or not. But it will be a memory you will cherish and you will be married. 💞 It’s natural to be stressed. But I do love the attitude you’ve adopted. Jeans and a hoodie sound lovely.

    • Hahaha! Yeah, there’s no amount of quotes that seem to get rid of the nightmares at the minute,but they will finish soon hopefully! Jean, hoodie and trainers – perfect!

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