A year ago today, I put on a big, poofy dress and walked down the aisle in front of our family and closest friends, given away by my mother to Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing.’ Now, when I say ‘walk,’ imagine the kick-line of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders (if the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders had overdone it on the cheesecake and hadn’t properly exercised in years) – my dress was so massive and poofy that I was desperately trying not to fall on my face, so I chose kick the bottom of the dress out of the way instead.
What can I say – I like to keep it classy.
The Bloke looked all dashing and handsome in his suit, we said our vows, the registrar made a joke about triplets (don’t ask), and then we took the photos, ate the food, cut the cake, danced a bit, talked a lot and generally had a rather knackering (but wonderful) day.
We were very lucky in that pretty much everything went as planned (most people showed up, the venue was lovely and despite the fact that the food looked like some sort of horrifying school dinners it tasted nice enough that guests were getting up for second and third helpings). However, one of the regrets that I have of the day was what I said during the speeches.
I’d had it planned for months – I was going to break tradition and speak after the meal, simply because I could. I wrote my speech down in the notes section on my phone and rehearsed it on several occasions.
Unfortunately, when the time came I realised that I had left my phone in another room and consequently had to wing it, mumbling incoherently and repeating myself to the point where my inner voice was yelling at me to sit down and shut up before I embarrassed myself further.
So, on the first anniversary of marrying The Bloke, here is what I SHOULD have said, if my brain hadn’t temporarily up and left me.
Whenever I introduce you or talk about you I have always referred to you as The Bloke. You are The Bloke, you’re MY Bloke and like any great duo we’re a great team – you’re the Angel to my Buffy, the Han to my Leia, the Noddy to my Big Ears, the Brain to my Pinky. You’re the dude – my partner-in-crime, my confidante and my friend, and you make me laugh every day. So many of my favourite memories include you, from our adventures exploring new cities together and spontaneous date nights in completely random places, to crying hysterically outside theatres, accosting unsuspecting musical theatre celebrities, and spending our Friday nights on the couch and watching a film with the cat. I look forward to creating a million more of these memories in our lifetime together, from epic nights out to quiet nights in.
With our legal vows we made promises to spend the rest of our lives together and look after each other. However, there are a few extra promises that I would like to make to you in front of our family and dearest friends:
I promise that I will always endeavour to put the toilet roll on the holder the ‘right’ way round.
I promise that my response to ‘do you want anything from town?’ will always be ‘chocolate marshmallows, please!’
I promise that I will resist the urge to watch the next episode on Netflix without you.
I promise that I will try and stop substituting key words in your favourite songs with the word ‘kitty.’
I promise to listen to your advice, whether I have asked for it or not.
I promise that I will always yell at the TV whenever the World Cup is on and we’re losing.
I promise that when I say I’m not hungry, I will always end up wanting a bite of whatever you are eating.
I promise to follow your escape plan should the zombie apocalypse ever happen.
I promise that I will stop saying that Batman should be in the Marvel Universe just to irritate you, even though I find it really funny.
I promise that I will do my best to notice when you’ve had your hair cut or shaved your beard off.
I promise that you will be the first person that I come to when I can’t open a jar or bottle.
I promise that I will change my mind repeatedly about the smallest thing, annoy you, frustrate you, leave my shoes all over the house and sing loudly whenever Bon Jovi, Journey or Aerosmith comes on the radio in the car.
And most of all, I promise that I will support you, listen to you, respect you and love you for the rest of my life, and if I can make you anywhere near as happy as you make me then it will be a life well-lived.
Twelve months later, we’ve had a pretty amazing first year of marriage. The Bloke has left his job to pursue his dream, we’ve been to New York twice and London twice, we’ve experienced some fabulous things, watched some of our friends take the next steps in their lives with their weddings, new babies and career moves and made plans for what we’re going to do next.
One down, many more to go!
What about you guys? Is there anything you would change about your wedding day?
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