The Vows I SHOULD Have Said at my Wedding

A year ago today, I put on a big, poofy dress and walked down the aisle in front of our family and closest friends, given away by my mother to Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing.’ Now, when I say ‘walk,’ imagine the kick-line of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders (if the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders had overdone it on the cheesecake and hadn’t properly exercised in years) – my dress was so massive and poofy that I was desperately trying not to fall on my face, so I chose kick the bottom of the dress out of the way instead.

What can I say – I like to keep it classy. 

The Bloke looked all dashing and handsome in his suit, we said our vows, the registrar made a joke about triplets (don’t ask), and then we took the photos, ate the food, cut the cake, danced a bit, talked a lot and generally had a rather knackering (but wonderful) day. 

We were very lucky in that pretty much everything went as planned (most people showed up, the venue was lovely and despite the fact that the food looked like some sort of horrifying school dinners it tasted nice enough that guests were getting up for second and third helpings). However, one of the regrets that I have of the day was what I said during the speeches. 

I’d had it planned for months – I was going to break tradition and speak after the meal, simply because I could. I wrote my speech down in the notes section on my phone and rehearsed it on several occasions.

Unfortunately, when the time came I realised that I had left my phone in another room and consequently had to wing it, mumbling incoherently and repeating myself to the point where my inner voice was yelling at me to sit down and shut up before I embarrassed myself further. 

So, on the first anniversary of marrying The Bloke, here is what I SHOULD have said, if my brain hadn’t temporarily up and left me.

Whenever I introduce you or talk about you I have always referred to you as The Bloke. You are The Bloke, you’re MY Bloke and like any great duo we’re a great team – you’re the Angel to my Buffy, the Han to my Leia, the Noddy to my Big Ears, the Brain to my Pinky. You’re the dude – my partner-in-crime, my confidante and my friend, and you make me laugh every day. So many of my favourite memories include you, from our adventures exploring new cities together and spontaneous date nights in completely random places, to crying hysterically outside theatres, accosting unsuspecting musical theatre celebrities, and spending our Friday nights on the couch and watching a film with the cat. I look forward to creating a million more of these memories in our lifetime together, from epic nights out to quiet nights in. 

With our legal vows we made promises to spend the rest of our lives together and look after each other. However, there are a few extra promises that I would like to make to you in front of our family and dearest friends:

I promise that I will always endeavour to put the toilet roll on the holder the ‘right’ way round. 

I promise that my response to ‘do you want anything from town?’ will always be ‘chocolate marshmallows, please!’

I promise that I will resist the urge to watch the next episode on Netflix without you. 

I promise that I will try and stop substituting key words in your favourite songs with the word ‘kitty.’

I promise to listen to your advice, whether I have asked for it or not. 

I promise that I will always yell at the TV whenever the World Cup is on and we’re losing.

I promise that when I say I’m not hungry, I will always end up wanting a bite of whatever you are eating. 

I promise to follow your escape plan should the zombie apocalypse ever happen.

I promise that I will stop saying that Batman should be in the Marvel Universe just to irritate you, even though I find it really funny.

I promise that I will do my best to notice when you’ve had your hair cut or shaved your beard off. 

I promise that you will be the first person that I come to when I can’t open a jar or bottle. 

I promise that I will change my mind repeatedly about the smallest thing, annoy you, frustrate you, leave my shoes all over the house and sing loudly whenever Bon Jovi, Journey or Aerosmith comes on the radio in the car.

And most of all, I promise that I will support you, listen to you, respect you and love you for the rest of my life, and if I can make you anywhere near as happy as you make me then it will be a life well-lived. 

Twelve months later, we’ve had a pretty amazing first year of marriage. The Bloke has left his job to pursue his dream, we’ve been to New York twice and London twice, we’ve experienced some fabulous things, watched some of our friends take the next steps in their lives with their weddings, new babies and career moves and made plans for what we’re going to do next.

One down, many more to go! 

What about you guys? Is there anything you would change about your wedding day?

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73 thoughts on “The Vows I SHOULD Have Said at my Wedding

  1. Firstly, a very happy first anniversary!
    I love your speech Suzie!
    And all your heartfelt extra vows!

    It’ll be 17 years for us next month, and though we had a magical day, I would probably say I wish there hadn’t been do many random people there.
    I swear, it’s an Indian thing. Having to invite someone because they invited you. Long distant relatives you only see at functions.
    I watch the video and actually don’t know who some of the guests were!
    And I wish I’d had more time to mingle with my guests, and dance more. I was so busy being demure, and being made to do things, my reception passed by in a whirl.
    I’m assured by my guests it was a great function… I just wish I’d experienced it all properly too!
    I had no time to plan, but a microphone was shoved into my hands at one time and I blurted out love and thanks… But wish I’d been able to plan words better too!

    All that said, it was still the best day!
    I finished it being the Mrs to my dream Mr. Can’t ask for more really, can I?

  2. That bit about substituting kitty for words in songs? It’s not something I ever thought to do (until now), but if I had I don’t think I could even contemplate giving it up.

    I notice you only promised to try, not necessarily to succeed. Wise woman.

  3. Happy anniversary lovelies. What a wonderful day it was, full of love and happiness. Sometimes it’s not about the words we say, or forget to say, but more about the million small seemingly insignificant things we do to show and feel love. I think you have it covered 💕💕💕

  4. Thanks for the laughs and smiles I had reading your post.

    There is only one thing I’d do different and that is not to get married the first time to my first wife. And never get drunk while dating someone you don’t know.

    Instead of three times through the wringer, there would only be two. If I marry a 4th time, my excuse will be I am totally insane.

  5. Awww…such a beautiful post Suzie and hope it makes The Bloke’s heart melt!

    Well, although I’m no longer married (but gladly, still friends with each other), what I would have changed was to have a much smaller and more intimate day. Even back in 1989, weddings were much to big and impersonal.

  6. hehe I enjoyed the new vows that you shared. It will be 18 years for me this year and when I look back I remember a lot of laughter and fun, nervousness too. 🙂 Didn’t really have vows but I am sure we have come up with a few of our own over the years.

  7. What a great post! Love it – and it features a zombie apocalypse and Aerosmith, so totally works for me!

  8. I would possibly change one thing. When I collected my dress from the dress shop I did not check it was all there. Day of the wedding I was getting dressed and found the back of the dress missing. It was poppered in and then the dress tied up over it. With out it you could see my naked back.. so one of our ushers went to the dress shop to collect the back of the dress. The shop was near the church about 10 miles away. My dad met the usher half way to collect the back… I was nearly an hour late to my wedding… luckily the vicar thought it was funny and all was ok… but that’s one story that will never be forgotten. What you wrote was lovely and I’m sure what you said on the day was lovely to.

  9. Happy Anniversary month, and Belated Happy Birthday to The Bloke. I also made a wedding speech and ended up winging it. The best people do.

  10. Hi Suzie, I found you on Hugs blog and came here to say you “Hi”. you are such an inspirations to us other and especially new bloggers. I would love to follow your foot steps. Congratulations on all your achievement. Stay blessed and stay connected please. I would love to have a mentor and blogging guroo like you in my bloggers friend’s list.

  11. Would I change my wedding that was over 31 yrs ago – definitely! I would not be married in the church, I did so to please the parents & grandparents, I would be married in a forest, it would be small, a few family and friends with a lovely dinner. I don’t regret the way our wedding went, but I would do it differently if I had the opportunity, but my bloke says goodness no for another wedding to renew our vows. lol.

  12. What a lovely speech that would have been, shame it didn’t quite work out but then again you wouldn’t have this story to tell if you had just done it would you? Congratulations on one year of marriage and here’s to many many more.

  13. Those were the greatest vows ever. I may need to borrow a few lines at our vow renewal!

    If I could change one thing… it would be the actual wedding itself. A small part of me wishes we had done a big ceremony instead of the intimate feel we had. So I’m hoping that for a vow renewal on our 5th anniversary because whew it’s been a long road and we’re only at 3. I would also have a different dress. More poofy and princess-y. Less Greek goddess.

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