Just. Shut. Up.

Three years ago, The Bloke and I were renting a really nice terraced house. It was smaller than the one we’re in now, but it was cosy, with neutral decor and a nice landlord. Unfortunately, the walls were so thin that it was possible to hear someone sneeze next door. The first neighbour we had was a nasty woman, who spent her time screaming at her toddler, who cried all the time. After one particularly bad afternoon during the summer holidays, when I had spent the majority of the day listening to her constant yelling, I screamed at her to shut up through the wall. The shouting stopped immediately, and within the next week she moved out without telling the landlord – she just packed up and left. I don’t think my yelling at her would have been enough to cause that reaction, but I was torn by worry for the child and relief that I didn’t have to hear her voice any more. That was the first time I had ever experienced anything like that – I’d always been lucky to have nice neighbours and while there was occasionally some noise it certainly never bothered me before. Continue reading

Stop Dreaming and Start Doing!

Creating a new life

There’s an inspirational quote that I often see shared around on Pinterest:

If you want something bad enough, it will happen.

Nonsense. It should say:

If you want something badly enough you have to get up, create a viable plan and work hard for it.

It doesn’t have the same ring to it, granted, but it’s certainly more accurate.

Things are happy. In fact, it’s the happiest it’s ever been and I was recently reminded of how life has changed when my Facebook and Twitter timelines were filled with desperate messages from teacher friends as they went back to work after the summer. A few years ago I would have been sitting in a training or data analysis session and feeling utterly miserable. Instead, I made myself a nice breakfast, snuggled up on the couch with a blanket and the cat, watched some TV and then worked through my social media management checklist, followed by a bit of Bullet Journaling in the afternoon. Bliss. Continue reading

Things I Want My Newborn Niece to Know

Advice for my newborn baby niece

My youngest sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl today. Perfectly formed and weighing 7lb 5oz after a 40 HOUR LABOUR, Baby Squidge (as she will be referred to from now on on the blog) is the first baby and grandchild in our small family of four. As my first and only niece, these are the things that, on the day of her birth, I want her to know.

You are loved and will never be alone. No matter where you are and what you are doing, you will always have a family that you can call on for anything.

Unfortunately, you may meet people that don’t like you. You will meet people who try to validate themselves by trying to tear you down. None of it matters. Love yourself and who you are – it will be one of the greatest lessons you’ll ever learn in life. What others think of you is none of your business.

Be nice to your parents. Say thank you.

Keep the confidence of others, but don’t tell anyone anything that you wouldn’t mind the whole world knowing, unless they prove themselves trustworthy. Continue reading

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

imageSelf-sabotage happens for a number of reasons: a lack of self belief and/or self worth, a fear of failure, feeling like the outsider, a consistent focus on perceived negative aspects of yourself. It usually appears in the form of what I refer to as ‘my demons’ – those pesky internal thoughts that creep in whenever a challenge, a plan or a deadline is presented:

You’re not good enough.

They don’t like you.

They’re not going to take you seriously.

That’s too difficult.

I’ll do it tomorrow – I’ll feel better about it then.

I’ve lost count of the amount of times I left something to the last minute, or avoided putting myself forward because of a constant fear of rejection or failure. My daily routine involved berating myself for not getting something done the day before, or wasting my money on something that I didn’t actually want or need, only to struggle to pay for something important later on. I hated the fact that I had put on a large amount of weight, and yet consistently gorged on junk food every night until I felt sick. Continue reading

Why I Won’t Be Writing Any More Blogging Advice Posts

imageYesterday, during #SundayBlogShare, a single tweet got my attention. It was a simple statement without a link – I can’t find the actual tweet now but it went something like this:

A blog post that isn’t about writing a blog post.

In the last twelve months or so, I’ve seen a huge increase in this type of content. Indeed, Pinterest and Twitter in particular are littered with them. There are entire blogs who are devoted to the complicated and time-consuming art of blogging. It’s the one type of post that any blogger can do, and fits with any niche or theme.

I’ve done a number of posts myself that I refer to as ‘Blog Advice’ – hints, tips and guidelines on everything from increasing traffic, understanding the insignificance of how many times a WordPress post is liked, replying to comments, and using hashtags and group boards to build a following and community – and I have based these on my own experiences of what has worked for me. At the time, it always feels like these sorts of posts always get more traffic than any other – there’s usually an immediate and positive response that is accompanied by a number of social media shares and comments.

However, upon closer inspection, they aren’t as successful as they initially appear. Indeed, within my ten most successful posts of all time, there isn’t a single blog advice post – my most popular posts are ones where I have shared a personal story or thoughts on teaching (and quitting it), relationships, pets and emotional intelligence. There aren’t even any in the top fifteen. It isn’t that I have done any less promotion on them than any other post, but it seems clear that, while they may be useful at the time, my readers aren’t as inclined to share or revisit them – once they’ve read it, they have the information they may feel that they need and don’t return to it again. Or, potentially it could mean that they thought it was complete nonsense, and were too polite to say anything… Continue reading

Sorry, I’m Not Sorry

imageIn the last few months I have read a number of wonderful posts. While the content of each was different, I noticed that they all began with the same negative introduction:

You will probably find this boring / You may think that this is rubbish / I doubt anybody will be interested in this…

I have learned over time to try and ignore it – I often find that I am pleasantly surprised by the wonderful writing that follows, but admittedly there are times where I have been put off by these self-deprecating opening sentences – the writer is almost apologising for having a thought or an interest in something before they have even given potential readers a chance to form an opinion about it.

What seems to be the predominant reason for the creation of many blogs is that people have an urge to write and feel that they have something important to say, regardless of the content they create. It may be read by one or two people, it may be read by millions, but I find that lots of bloggers feel that the act of blogging is just as fulfilling as the response to the post itself. So why are so many people apologising for this?

While I am rarely apologetic in the blogging world, it made me think about all of the things that I apologise for on a regular basis in my daily life. Being British, it is a natural part of our vocabulary to use ‘sorry’ as a synonym for ‘excuse me,’ but I have also been known to suffer from anxiety and paranoia which causes me to be naturally apologetic in my conversation. The use of the word ‘sorry’ within these conversations highlights the fact that I feel inadequate and vulnerable, which has the potential to make others feel uncomfortable and there have been many occasions where I have been told to stop it by close family and friends.

Of course, it is important to be genuinely apologetic when our actions have resulted in somebody else being hurt or inconvenienced, but in the spirit of positivity and stepping out of my comfort zone in 2015, here are the things that I’m not sorry for:

1. Instantly removing myself from the company of racists, sexists, and homophobes. I can’t abide those people.

2. Wanting to have a work/life balance. In my 20’s, I lived to work. In my 30’s, I work to live. My physical and mental health has suffered because of it and I realised a while ago that being happy and healthy is much more important than earning a big salary.

3. Feeling the way that I feel about a situation. I cannot control how I feel about something, but what I can control is how I choose to deal with it.

4. Taking some time for me. There is nothing wrong with spending two hours at a time in the bath. A few of my friends think this is ridiculous. I don’t… It’s definitely the best way to spend a Sunday night. Or any night, in fact.

5. Posting pictures of my cats on the blog or any of my social media accounts. I have to look at pictures of my friends children – they are my equivalent, my family. If I have to look at little Billy in his new hat, or little Billy at the park, or little Billy with ice-cream or chocolate all over his face (which are all undeniably cute) then others can look at Daisy in a hat too.

6. Being ‘fussy’ with my food – there are so many who like to comment on my personal culinary tastes. I love tomatoes and tomato ketchup, but dislike tomato soup. I like peas, particularly petite pois, but hate mushy peas. I hate all variants of egg – omelettes, boiled, fried, poached, but really like Spanish omelette. I also like to put chips (and by chips, I mean fries) in my soup. There’s nothing nicer than soup and chips – try it, or at least don’t comment about it when I do.

7. Sobbing hysterically at animal charity adverts on the TV. And at romantic moments in my favourite films and books. And at beautiful cards and letters I have received. In fact, I don’t apologise for crying at any point – crying is good for the soul.

8. Hating, and I know that hate is a strong word, but perfectly acceptable in this situation, everything about the Twilight Saga. Bella Swan is the worst role-model for young impressionable teenage girls and… I’ll stop there, or this post will be twice as long.

9. Adoring karaoke sessions on a Friday night. I’m not exactly going to win the next X Factor, but I can hold a tune and there’s nothing better than having a few drinks and singing my heart out to a crowd of complete strangers. It’s fun and therapeutic.

10. Not wanting to have children or get married yet, despite being in a secure and happy long-term relationship.

11. Removing people from my life that were toxic. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.

12. Taking photographs of everything. I love recording a beautiful moment or a fabulous place.

13. Writing about my battles with mental health issues – it’s still a taboo subject in many areas of society, but I make no apologies when I tell others that I’m struggling.

14. Ringing in sick to work when I’m ill. If I’m ill, I’m ill – there’s no point going in and infecting the entire cohort of staff and students at my school. And when I’m well, I’ll give it 100%, and work most evenings and weekends unpaid.

15. Smoking a cigarette, and thoroughly enjoying it! I don’t do it that often but I know the risks, I don’t do it in people’s personal space, and mind your own business!

16. Not learning to drive. I had lessons when I was 17 years old and I crashed my learner car into a car transporter, and have never been back. Trust me, the world is a safer place without me behind the wheel!

17. Instantly judging someone who is rude to employees working in the service industry – bar and fast-food staff, waiters, retail assistants, baristas… I’ve been there and all are challenging and exhausting roles and those that work within them deserve to be treated with respect.

18. While I’m on the subject of judging others, I’m not sorry for judging those that wear fur for fashion. That’s a whole post in itself…

19. Dressing like a teenage boy. I like jeans and sweaters most of the time. It’s comfortable.

20. Asking for what I want. I’m an adult, I’m polite and respectful and I never demand anything, but as I’ve aged, I have learned to be more articulate in requesting things that I need.

21. Similarly, asking for help. This is something that I have learned to do recently – I used to try and take on everything myself and would find that I couldn’t cope with the pressure. Now, I make no apologies for asking for help from others.

22. Being proud of my achievements. Pride is not to be confused with arrogance – I don’t believe I am better than anyone else, but I proud of things that I have done well.

23. Having a dream, taking the risk and working my hardest to achieve it. Some have been hugely supportive. Others have scoffed. However, my belief is what keeps me going.

It’s important to remember that we don’t owe anyone explanations in the form of apologies. The act of explaining ourselves is often an attempt to justify our actions to another person, as if a decision needs validation. We don’t have to explain ourselves for the way that we choose to live and who we choose to live with. We don’t have to explain our priorities in life and what we do with our time. We don’t have to explain our likes and dislikes, our passions, beliefs, hobbies, interests, ideals and ambitions. We don’t have to explain our decisions to have or to not have children. If what you are doing makes you genuinely happy and fulfilled, you’re doing it right. So for all of these things, I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for liking who I am and how I live. I’m far from perfect, I have a million flaws, but I do my best.

Therefore, I am going to set a challenge both for myself and for you. Stop apologising for having an opinion and wanting to share your thoughts! Don’t begin your posts with a negative statement – send your message into the blogosphere and be proud of it!

What about you? What do you apologise for that you shouldn’t?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to visit my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks, my Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks and my Instagram http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks


Eleven Life Lessons in 2014


2014 has been the most challenging year I have ever experienced, for a number of reasons. With a house move, hospital stay, the death of my elderly cat and a suddenly massive workload there have been times where I have been left feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and totally lost. However, I’ve worked incredibly hard to get back on track, things have started to settle down a little and now it seems like I have emerged on the other side. I’m a little battered and bruised, but I’m proud of everything that I have accomplished.

As with any difficulties in life, there are lessons to be learned, and I have learned a great deal of them over the last year.

1. Ask for help. A heavy workload does not go away, and the more you take on alone, the more overwhelmed you will feel. Previous experiences left me with the idea that asking for help shows signs of weakness and leaves you vulnerable and susceptible to negativity. It doesn’t. Asking for help from the right people at the right time not only allows for delegation and a reduction in workload, but it can strengthen relationships and gain you more respect from others. Two pairs of hands are always better than one.

2. Find what your passion is, and reward yourself with time to pursue it. Unless you absolutely love and live for your job (of which I know very few who do), this year has taught me that it is important to have the time to have do something that you truly enjoy. For me, that is writing, and I got into the habit of rewarding myself with time to write once I had got my work done. At times, it has been a lifesaver.



3. Stand up for yourself. I’m confident on paper, but in the real world I am easily intimidated and back down to avoid confrontation. This year, I didn’t – I stood my ground on things that I genuinely believed were worth standing up for, and as a result I was listened to and understood.

4. Move on. For years I held quite a nasty grudge against a few who have treated me badly. Recently, I decided to let it go. I haven’t forgotten and it is going to take some time, but I feel emotionally lighter now the heavy burden of anger has gone.

5. When things are down, surround yourself with the people that lift you. When things get tough I shut down and close myself in. However, recently I decided to change this rather nasty habit and started to make more of an effort with people who I enjoy spending time with. Consequently, I have had some brilliant evenings over the last year which have given me the opportunity to relax, switch off and enjoy their company.

6. Stop procrastinating. As the self- proclaimed ‘Queen of Procrastination’ I learned that this was being detrimental to my lifestyle. Instead, I learned to try and do things when they were set, rather than leaving it till the deadline. The sooner something is started, the sooner it is finished.



7. Sleep. I’ve always been a night owl – I much prefer being awake late than getting up for an early morning. Unfortunately, this also meant that I was tired during the times where the most energy was needed, so I started taking myself off to bed earlier and getting up earlier. I feel much better for it.

8. Breathe. It is ok to take time for yourself. You are allowed to relax, read a book, have a long bath, watch an uplifting film or have a massage without feeling guilty. This year I have learned to sit back, take stock of recent events and just breathe. My only regret is that I didn’t learn to do this earlier.

9. Stop worrying. I worry about anything and everything, but recently I learned to start asking myself if the issue that was causing the anxiety would still be an issue in a few days time, and what the solution would be. If something is beyond my control, I am trying to accept that it is what it is.

10. Look after your health. I allowed my pace of life to take over and avoided minor nagging physical ailments because I was ‘too busy’ to go to the doctors. I stopped taking care of myself. I ignored an easily treatable urinary tract infection, which over time developed into quite a serious kidney infection that landed me in hospital for nearly a week. This year, I have learned that my health takes priority over everything, and I take the time to ensure that I am getting everything that I need to remain so.

11. Most importantly, I have learned to be a little more appreciative of the people who have been there through it all – The Bloke who has provided constant support, love and a shoulder to cry on, the friends who have bought me a drink at the end of a tough day, who visited me in hospital, who have listened when I have needed to talk, my family, and, of course, you guys. You’ve helped me through the best and worst moments of this year, and your messages and emails have made me laugh. Thank you.

What about you guys? What have you learnt in the last twelve months?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks



11 Tips to Avoid Getting Punched in the Face When Travelling by Train This Christmas


In a few days time I will be on a train up to Manchester so I can spend the holidays with my mum, sisters and brother-in-law. I’ve made this journey on this particular day (the day before Christmas Eve) for twelve years, and in each one the same stereotypes appear without fail. It’s always extremely busy and cramped and with the holiday trials and tribulations it’s not unusual to see frayed tempers, but in the case of some people it’s easy to see why others get frustrated with them. If you are attempting to travel via train over the next few days, here are some helpful hints and tips that may avoid you getting punched in the face on your journey.

1. Stop complaining. It isn’t my fault that the train is late, that it’s cold, you’ve forgotten one of your presents, the train is too busy, that you’re fed up of the rain or that the price of the coffee is too high. Unless you’re prepared to become a god-like figure and physically change the weather, or be able to invest several billion pounds to improve the quality of the rail network (which isn’t actually that bad in my opinion) then there isn’t anything you can do. (I do appreciate the irony of my complaints about complainers here…).


Tip 2. If someone is wearing headphones, they don’t want to talk to you. I quite like chatting to various people that I meet on my travels, but I often witness someone persistently attempt to talk to the person sitting next to them on multiple occasions, apparently completely oblivious at the irritated response they are receiving – huffing, rolling of eyes and making a big show of taking their headphones off every time they are asked a question are usually an indication that they want to be left alone. Some may perceive this as rude, but it’s important to remember that there may be a valid reason why they want to keep themselves to themselves.

Tip 3. Put your phone on silent. While I’m sure that having the ‘Knightrider’ theme tune as your ring tone is the best thing ever in your world, I lose interest after the fourth time of hearing it. Similarly, I also don’t want to hear every time you match the candies on Candy Crush.

Tip 4. Wash yourself and your clothes before you travel. Clean your teeth. The smell of B.O. and last night’s garlic bread are unlikely to make you new friends anytime soon.


Tip 5. Learn the benefits of a capsule wardrobe. Unless you are going away for several weeks and have bought a present for each resident within your town, NOBODY needs three suitcases. Every year I always seem to sit next to different ladies that are visiting their children for a week and yet have still managed to bring several enormous suitcases with them ‘just in case.’ That’s fine, until everyone else realises that there is no space left for their own luggage and that’s when the arguments start.

Tip 6. If you haven’t been organised enough to reserve a seat in advance, don’t sit down with your enormous bags in a seat that says ‘reserved.’ Similarly, when the actual owner of the seat informs you that you’re sitting in their space, don’t tut, roll your eyes and make a huge show of moving out of the way. It’s your mistake, not theirs.

Tip 7. If you are feeling hungry, you have every right to eat. However, be aware that certain foods smell really strong and their essence will not only permeate the entire carriage but the smell will linger long after you’ve reached your destination, leaving fellow passengers with a delightful odour to remember you by. To the lady who got off the train at Stafford last year, I’m sure that the smell of the rotten hummus you ate is still in the air of that carriage.


Tip 8. Remember that personal space is quite important to some people. Standing so close to the person in front that they can feel your breath in their ears when waiting to get off the train is not going to make the process any faster. Neither will using your bag in an attempt to edge them forward.

Tip 9. Be aware that when you fall asleep, you may not be in control of yourself. Expect that some may not like it if you use them as a pillow and start dribbling on their shoulder.

Tip 10. PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH. This can be applied to any number of functions – coughing, sneezing, yawning are among these.


Tip 11. Most importantly, remember that you aren’t the only person to be using the service. You aren’t the only one that is tired, stressed, behind in your Christmas prep and desperate to get to your destination. Be respectful, be polite and chill the f*ck out!

What about you guys? Do you see the same stereotypes whenever you use public transport?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks


Things I’m Glad I Didn’t Do

ImageI’ve never been a huge risk taker – I’ve always tried to follow the rules and do what is expected of me. I don’t have any wild tales of drunken debauchery, I’ve never woken up in a strange place with a strange person… I’ve been quite a good girl in my time.

An ex-boyfriend requested my friendship on Facebook not long ago. I declined it – after fifteen years I have no reason to communicate with him and if I am being honest I haven’t really thought of him much in that time – but not before I snooped through his profile as much as his privacy settings would allow. He looked much older, he’d obviously been working out and he was the proud father to three kids. He seems happy, and I’m glad, but there was one thought that kept popping into my head during my little stalking session:

Thank god that wasn’t me.

He wasn’t a bad boyfriend and I’m sure he’s a brilliant father, but after seeing his pictures I couldn’t help but feel like I had dodged a bullet.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

During recent months I have spent some time reflecting on life, often culminating in thoughts of regret or nostalgia. However, here are the things that I am glad I didn’t do.

Getting the dolphin tattoo I so desperately wanted. I don’t like needles, the colour would have faded by now and I have gained so much weight it would now resemble a whale.

Borrowing money from an ex. He offered to lend me enough to get me on the property ladder. I’m glad I refused – I discovered that he was cheating on me not long afterwards.

ImageTaking drugs. Plenty of my friends have dabbled on nights out, but I’ve never regretted not taking the risk. I have an addictive personality and bad luck – not a good combination.

Taking things further with someone I was seeing in my gap year. I found out that he gave his girlfriend after me syphillis.

Becoming a professional violinist. The competition is far too high – I wouldn’t have coped.

Getting my hair permed again. Blonde afro’s look great on some. I, however, looked like a reject from ‘Annie.’

What about you guys? Do you have thing in life that you’re glad you didn’t do?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to ‘like’ my new Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Suzie81Speaks

23 Things You Should Do Before You’re 23

List of 23 things

At the end of 2013 I saw an article that caught my eye. It turns out, it also caught the eyes of millions of others and I watched it closely as it has went viral, spawning thousands of comments that both praised and vilified the author in equal measure.

I don’t have an opinion on the age that somebody should get married and I am certainly not using this as an opportunity to attack the author. A friend of mine, who married at the age of 22 and who now has two beautiful children once told me that she wanted to share her life with her husband and children rather than living it on her own first, and I thought it was a lovely sentiment to have. However, ’23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged At 23′ was a title that instantly appealed to me – at thirty-three years old I am not married, despite the fact that I have lived with The Bloke for quite a few years – and because of this I had an expectation that this post was going to offer some fantastic ideas or life advice that would inspire me.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case.  The list of things that were given, such as eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting, disappoint your parents, hangout naked in front of a window, cut your hair, make out with a stranger and sign up for CrossFit wasn’t just uninspiring, it was downright silly (and in some cases, dangerous). I have eaten a jar of Nutella in one sitting, I have disappointed my parents (many times), I have cut my hair, but I found it ridiculous to list these as an alternative to engagement.

However boring this may sound, being an adult means having some level of responsibility, regardless of marital status. Therefore, I created my own list of things that I believe that everyone should do before they are twenty-three, whether they are married or not.

1. Gain as many qualifications as possible. These don’t have to be academic qualifications, there are lots of vocational alternatives.

2. Learn to be financially knowledgable. This may not necessarily mean financial independence, but it is important to know how to pay bills, live to a budget and understand how a bank account works.

3. Learn to cook from scratch and prepare nutritious meals with minimal ingredients. Good for the health, good for the bank balance.

4. Know how to look after yourself. Be able to keep yourself, your clothes and your home clean (you’d be surprised how many nineteen year olds that I know that still don’t have a concept of this).

5. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin, and being alone with yourself.

6. Know your alcohol limit. Just occasionally, be able to stop drinking before you go over it. It doesn’t stop you from staying out until 6.00am, it just means you can do so without having vomit in your hair.

7. In between disappointing your parents, which will usually at some point be inevitable, take the time to appreciate them and tell them how much they mean to you.

8. Occasionally, take the time to do absolutely nothing but indulge yourself. Rest, relax, recharge your batteries. Have a long hot bath, read a book, sleep all day.

9. If you can, travel as much as possible with people you love. It doesn’t have to be abroad – explore the sights and sounds of your home country. Road trip, anyone?

10. Give your time to a charitable cause.

11. Go out in fancy dress.

12. Learn at least the basic elements of a foreign language. It’s rude the assume that the rest of the world will speak English.

13. See your favourite singer/band in concert.

14. Forgive (although this doesn’t mean you have to forget) and move on.

15. Spend 24 hours without any media – no internet, tv, phone or consoles. See what you accomplish in your boredom.

16. Learn to say no, to yourself and to others.

17. Get rid of that one rude, inconsiderate friend who makes your time together a chore. Best thing I ever did.

18. Take photographs. Lots of photographs.

19. Get a job working in the service/retail industry. Trust me, after eighteen months of working at McDonalds and three years working in a nightclub, I’ll never be rude to a waitress, shop assistant or barman ever.

20. Understand that if you really want something, you’re going to have to start working for it, or be really good at asking for it.

21. Spontaneously do something that you have never done before.

22. Splurge on something that you’ve always wanted.

23. Ultimately, don’t allow fear to stop you from doing something that you have always wanted to accomplish. It’s better to try and fail than to wonder about the ‘what ifs.’

What about you guys? Are there life lessons you believe you should follow from an early age?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @Suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks, my Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks and my Instagram page http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks