Categories | Suzie Speaks

Warning: adult content.

After twenty months of blogging and hundreds of posts that cover a whole range of topics, I have started to take great delight in the frequently obscure searches that lead to Suzie81 Speaks. While I can link some of these to things I have written, I still find some baffling and at times, hilarious. There are clearly lots of different types of people that read my blog:

1. The Apathetic Authors

Thanks. It’s nice to see that my blog appears when these sentences are typed in…

2. The Aspiring DoctorI have no medical training whatsoever, but I can guess that the answer to this is no.

3. Animal Lovers

I have never met anyone that has believed that they are a badger, nor have I attempted to cuddle one. However, judging from video footage of honey badgers I have seen, I would advise against it. I have also seen the baby monkey and pig video. It’s pointless and the song that goes with it is guaranteed to stick in your head for days afterwards.

4. The Aromatherapist

Old Spice for the belly button? The other fragrance manufacturers are clearly missing out on a section of the market here.

5. The Textile Enthusiasts

The top one is one of fourteen references I have received about panties, often accompanied by the word ‘dirty.’ However, the second one was a little more obscure – I’d love to find the person who wrote that and discover what happened afterwards…

6. The Food Lovers

I have never tasted my own (or anybody else’s) feet, but after inspecting my gnarly toes I can’t imagine that it would be a pleasant experience for anybody.

7. The Disney Enthusiasts.

Does anyone know what rule 34 is? I only found out today. Nice. How the heck does that lead to my blog???

8. The Wishful Thinkers

I would suggest that the collective response to both of these is Viagra… Lots of Viagra.

9. The Angry People

Steps on how to piss somebody off? That’s a whole blog in itself!

10. The Revenge Seeker

This is one of many search terms from men that appear to want revenge on their ex-wives. It’s quite disturbing.

11. The Big Thinkers

I would love to find out how to spend the day doing nothing at work – I’m exhausted by the time I get home! And did Ray J and Justin Beaver have sex? More to the point – Justin Beaver or Justin Bieber? Is this his porn star equivalent?

12. The Randoms