changes | Suzie Speaks

I had a post already finished and saved for the end of the year. I had spent hours creating it, reviewing the events of the last twelve months, setting targets, thanking people and creating resolutions in which I would commit to becoming a brand new me.

There’s nothing new about this: every year I make myself the same promises to improve myself. I always start positively, excited about the potential of what the new year brings. However, after a few weeks, inadvertently, life gets in the way, and I find myself falling back into old habits. This is then made far worse that I mentally chastise myself for not completing something, which leads to a negative feeling about the start of the year.

There are lots of things that I’m sure are frustrating about me.

I’m the queen of procrastination and if I can find a way to create a shortcut I will use it.
I repeat myself.
I bore my friends and family with knowledge of pointless facts and information about celebrities.
When a song that I adore is played in public I have a habit of singing along loudly to it.
I sometimes don’t think before speaking and have had to explain myself after accidentally offending someone.
I am useless at replying to text messages and missed phonecalls, and I always forget my friends birthdays.
I hate washing up and so The Bloke has to do it.
I can sometimes be extremely negative, get stressed easily and have to work hard to control my temper.
I’m messy and disorganised.
I am incapable of doing anything in moderation.
I change my mind a million times a day.
I worry about silly things.
I am hopeless at saving money.
I have a nasty addiction to all foods that are bad for me, eat enormous quantities of it and then get upset when I can’t fit into my favourite items of clothing.
I can’t stand adverts in between television programmes and will channel hop for hours.
I make plans and later have a lack of motivation to follow them through.

I’m glad I do all these things. I’ve worked hard to get to this point and they are all part of what makes me… me.

I like me, and the people that I care about do as well (at least, I hope they do). I can look at myself in the mirror at the end of each day and know that I have done my best, and in my opinion that’s all that matters.

I’d love to be a thinner me, a richer me, a more intelligent me – I think most of us would. However, my hope for 2014 is that I am a happy me.

I was reminded of this song the other day by my bloggy friend, Kaela, which I thought would be appropriate to share at the point.