The Alternative Wedding Ceremony Playlist

The final stage of the official, legally binding wedding paperwork was the return of the requested readings and music list so the full Order of Ceremony can be created. We were required to give details on all of the music that we were planning to use – as it is a civil ceremony there is no sacred music allowed – and this needs to be checked in advance to avoid any vetos happening on the day. In total, we had to provide a list of tracks totalling about 45 minutes, which will be used while the guests are arriving, when I walk down the aisle, when we sign the register and as we exit. Continue reading

The Annual Bloggers Bash 2017: The Highlights!

Last weekend I attended the third Annual Bloggers Bash in London. The Bash means an awful lot to me – I have been to every single one and have previously been the lucky recipient of the Services to Blogging, Inspirational Blogger and Best Overall awards, and I credit this event with giving me the confidence to take blogging seriously as a viable career path. This year, I was asked to give a presentation and be on a panel, which was an enormous honour.

This year the event was truly international, with people attending from the UK, Ireland, the US and Canada and there had been over 6,500 votes cast for its coveted awards. It was held at the Grange Wellington Hotel in Westminster’s Vincent Square. The Bloke and I got an early train in the morning and we were very graciously checked into our hotel room almost immediately at the Euston Premier Inn which gave us the opportunity to finish getting ready (although, I managed to get the majority of my hair and make-up done on the train to the apparent amusement of a man sitting a few seats away). We arrived at the Bash venue early (after having an accidental detour due to my awful map reading skills) and went straight up to visit my long-term bloggy friend Elena Peters, who had stayed there the night before. Continue reading

That Time The Bloke DIDN’T Propose…

image

Valentine’s Day has never really been a big deal for The Bloke and I. I’m not a particularly romantic person at heart and generally we spoil each other throughout the year, so aside from exchanging cards and the odd gift, February 14th is a day that is no different to any other.

Last year, however, I had been particularly looking forward to it. We’d had the usual discussion a few days before: Continue reading

Toilet Humour

image

I had a day off today, so decided to spend a bit of ‘me time’ during the afternoon in between my usual social media tasks. I had a lovely nap, watched some Netflix with the cat (who was obviously enthralled by the way he was snoring in my ear) and then arranged to meet my friend for our weekly catch up in the local pub.

She was on her way back from work so I went upstairs to get changed, during which I went to the toilet before I left the house. Our toilet has been faulty for a while – the mechanism inside doesn’t always work which means that we have to wait for the water to fill back up and then manually stop it ourselves. It’s not a major inconvenience, but needed fixing and has been on the ‘to do’ list for a while, along with another bajillion tasks that we don’t seem to get round to. Continue reading

A Cat in a Hat and a Drunken Tree

imageAfter enviously seeing some of my neighbours Christmas decorations over the last few days, I took the opportunity this morning to finally decorate the tree and front room.

We’ve had the same tree for years – a cheap and artificial Argos purchase – and it’s been with us through three house moves. The decorations initially started off as one silver bauble set, lights and some tinsel that we bought with the tree, but every year we have added to it with things we have purchased on our travels, resulting in a mishmash of glass stars, little pottery santas, Beatrix potter characters, wooden snowflakes and gingerbread figures. People with design ideals and OCD would have a minor panic attack. Continue reading

Blog of the Day: Shank You Very Much

blog

Meet Heather!

Heather is the creator of Shank You Very Much. I like her About page (and the adorable picture of her dog!).

I am a person filled with sarcasm and it makes its appearance at the most inopportune times. I’ve been likened to a Seinfeld character, which is unsurprising since that show literally shaped my childhood. Every Thursday through the late eighties and early nineties, you knew where to find me. Continue reading

Bridezilla

image

I’m not going to even start looking at anything until the summer holidays.’

This was what I said about a week ago when one of my friends asked me whether The Bloke and I had set a date.

What a load of nonsense – if I could go back and slap myself, I would. I blame Pinterest – I created a secret board five days ago when I had a sleepless night and I’ve already got about 150 pins of ideas that I like.

It’s only been eight days since The Bloke popped the question, and I’ve got the whole thing planned. For me, I’ve always wanted a small, inexpensive wedding day, with the important part being the ceremony itself, followed by an amazing honeymoon to remember, which we know we can ask for help with from our guests instead of setting up a registry. I’m not one of those brides who has dreamed of walking down the aisle in a designer gown, particularly when it’s only going to be worn once and then shoved in a box in the wardrobe. I’m not bothered about tradition or pomp and circumstance. It’s about us.

Despite this, I know where and when it will happen (I’ve already spoken to the venue to check that they are available and will cater for what we want) the dress I’ll be wearing, invitations, colour scheme, flowers, bridesmaids dresses (I’ve asked my sisters – which is amazing because this is not something I would have done two years ago), favors, cake… Money is going to be tight, and we’re paying for it ourselves, so I’ve already found ways to save on the cost by mentally calling in some favours with some creative and crafty friends. Continue reading

Penis Balloons

I’m slightly concerned about the search engine terms I’ll receive after this, but I couldn’t resist…

I have two house cats that are getting quite old. One of them has Type 1 diabetes, and needs twice daily insulin injections to make sure that her blood sugars are regulated. Consequently, whenever I go away, I need someone to administer her medication, as putting her in a cattery would be too stressful. Luckily, I have a wonderful friend who looks after them for me, and she very kindly agreed to be on cat-sitting duty while The Bloke and I went to Scotland for a week.

All week, she’s been sending me pics via Facebook messenger to ease my worry on how they were. As we were driving back, she sent me a message to ask what time we would arrive home. It was an exhausting trip, and The Bloke and I were incredibly relieved to be back.

We opened the front door and walked in to this… Continue reading

‘What I Shoped’ – Unusual (and Baffling) Search Engine Terms

imageSEO, or Search Engine Optimisation, is a big thing in the blogging world, and I’ve read a number of posts about how to use it to increase traffic to the blog. Over the last few years I have started to get a large amount of referrals from search engines, and I love seeing the sorts of things that people have typed in and stumbled across my blog as a result.

Some, I can explain, because I know that a few of my posts are on the first page of Google. For my post ‘23 Things You Should Do Before You’re 23,‘ which still remains as one of my most popular, I often receive things like ‘things to do before 23,’ or ‘What should I do before my 23rd?’. For ‘Nine Things That We Don’t Owe Anyone,’ I get terms like ‘I don’t owe you,’ or ‘things I shouldn’t owe people.’ Recently, with the ‘Trigglypuff‘ saga taking the internet by storm, I have received lots of terms with Trigglypuff mentioned.

However, it’s becoming more frequent that I am finding sentences that make me wonder what on earth I have been writing over the last three years. I’ve always considered this blog to be at a PG rating, with only one or two references made to adult content. However, it’s clear that a large amount of my search terms are focused on these references, so at this point I’d like to warn you that the content of the rest of this post may get a little rude… You may wish to read some of it peeking out through your fingers. Or avoid eating…
Continue reading

Things I Wish I Had Learned in School

imageA while ago, I created a list all the useless things that I learned during my school years. This prompted a number of conversations with friends about what we felt we should actually have learned all those years ago that would be relevant to our present lives. Of course, financial insights into mortgages, loans and interest rates were at the top of our lists, but after a while the inevitable silliness took over. Here are some of the best:

1. How to work my bedroom blinds. I made the wrong decision at university – instead of a music degree my time would have been better spent learning how to pull my blinds up without them being uneven or falling back down again. They’re the bane of my life.

2. How to stop spending my money on useless crap. Even now, despite attempting to be much more frugal with my earnings, I can still leave the house with £30 in my purse and return with no money, nothing to show for it and no knowledge of how I have spent it.

3. How to fix a photocopier. The photocopier at work is the most complicated piece of machinery I have ever used. It contains so many components and parts I suspect that it was secretly designed by NASA, and it clearly has a grudge against me. I could be watching it for several minutes while the person before me does 50 copies, but the minute I put my paper in it shuts down and has a tantrum. I follow the instructions carefully to locate where the paper jam is, only to discover that there is no paper anywhere to be seen. I’ve heard of dog and horse whisperers, does this mean there are photocopier whisperers? Continue reading