On Being Vanilla

 

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In the world of ice-cream, my friend is definitely Rocky Road with extra sauce and sprinkles. She’s striking. When she walks into a room, people don’t just notice, they stop what they are doing to stare, and some will even get up and walk over in an effort to speak to her.

The thing is, there isn’t anything specific about my friend that makes her stand out. She’s pretty, but couldn’t anywhere near be classed as model quality, she doesn’t go overboard with her clothes and make-up, she’s intelligent, but not a genius, she’s classy and well-spoken. She possesses that ‘something’ – that special X Factor quality that separates her from the pack. Even more frustratingly, she’s genuinely a very nice person and has no idea about the power that she holds. Her life, to me, seems exciting – she likes to travel and experience new things and isn’t scared of taking risks. She’s a natural leader without being bossy or rude.

I have always been, and always will be, vanilla. This isn’t said in an attempt to hunt for false compliments, it is simply fact – at the age of 33 I have had plenty of time to realise my own strengths and weaknesses. In a group of people I have never been the one to stand out from the crowd – I am that person that merges into the background, the one that blends in. I am not the risk taker – I’ve always been more of a follower than a leader.

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Vanilla is used as a derogatory term to describe someone, or their lifestyle as unexciting and conventional. Boring. I used to feel that being thought of as vanilla was a negative thing. Indeed, I used to feel a little short-changed when I was offered ice-cream and then handed vanilla. However, vanilla surprised me. I discovered that:

  • Vanilla is the second-most expensive spice after saffron.
  • It is thought to have calming effects and reduce anxiety and stress.
  • Vanilla is used throughout the baking and cosmetics industry and is often placed in certain foods to eliminate acidity.
  • Despite its labour – intensive growth and expense, vanilla remains a popular spice in the western world.
  • From the thousands of ice-cream flavours that exist, vanilla is still consistently voted as the favourite.

As I have aged, I have grown to like being vanilla. It may be a standard flavour, a basic flavour, but to me it is a dependable one that doesn’t change, and yet can be incredibly versatile at the same time in that it compliments the flavours around it. Vanilla doesn’t pretend to be anything else, it is what it is. I like my life and it’s vanilla existence.

And besides, this means that us vanilla girls get to add a cheeky topping occasionally!

What about you? What flavour of ice-cream are you?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to visit my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

Obscure Search Terms for 2013

confused-blackfive-net_As it is the final day of the year I decided to review my search engine terms since the birth of my blog in April. I have posted some of these during the year, but there have been a number of wonderful additions to add to the list since then. Some have made me smile, some have made me think. Some, in fact, have left me utterly confused.

There are certainly some strange and unusual people out there…

To date, my most popular search has been ‘Things to Be Thankful For,’ which I think is quite sweet, although it does leave me wondering how miserable these people must be if they have to use Google for ideas. This is closely followed by Leah Remini, who I mentioned in a post about Saved By The Bell. There have been a much wider variation of the search for Leah of late, possibly inspired by her controversial fall-out with the Scientology movement:

Leah Remini
Leah Remini saved by the bell
saved by the bell Leah remini
Leah remini in saved by the bell
was leah remini on saved by the bell

and finally…

Leah Remini’s tits.

There’s always one. Well, actually, there’s more than one. I created a post about a hidden picture of a topless woman in Disney’s ‘The Rescuers,‘ and mentioned in another that a scorned woman had posted a picture of her boyfriend’s secret lover’s dirty panties on Facebook when she discovered their affair. Consequently, these have created some extremely interesting search terms for me…

Blog Boobs
Girls dirty panties
Soiled dirty panties
Dirty panties
Sexy dirty painties

confused-babyWhile I think that I can link most of the search terms used to a specific post, there were a few that I found to be random and quite confusing…

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afat log
laughing viking
try whistle girlfriend skinny
write one liners related to life. 4 example : . . life is an ice-cream, enjoy it before it melts! . @ / .. . life is ______________
bomb bein made to kill half of america
Cars crashed in weird places
(I think that this may link to the post that I did about Celebrity death jokes)
A smear of ice-cream (why does ice-cream keep appearing???)
how nuch are crap
How much crap

The best one of these has got to be this:

how many drops of eyedrops does it take to make someone poop (I fear for this person)

Then there are searches that I find quite insulting that my blog has come up.

I want to post crap on a blog. (Nice. Thanks for that.)
meh blog
masculinity blog (Strange, considering I’m a woman)
A blog about an annoying teacher

Rottenecards_4510696_88c9q44fw6Of the 3,000 search terms that I have received this year, there were two absolutely outstanding search terms and I couldn’t decide who should be awarded the gold medal. They made me laugh, confused me and made me question what on earth I have written on my blog that would lead these terms to me. Consequently, I have decided to award both of them the joint first prize for entertainment value…

a situation that needs to get unfucked 

Testicle moisturiser

I have no words (and decided that it was probably best that I didn’t put a picture to go with this one…)

What about you? What is the most unusual search term you have had this year?

You can also find me on Twitter @Suzie81blog

Image credit 1: thinkingblog.com
Image credit 2: danielalexandra.com
Image credit 3: rottenecards.com