Derek the Stealth Chicken

There’s a chicken in my back garden. I don’t know where it has come from, who owns it or how it got in as the garden is surrounded by high fences. It is a very friendly chicken – it walked over to The Bloke quite happily – I’m a bit concerned though as I know that there are lots of cats around. I’ve called it Derek.


I’m going to go and speak to the neighbours and see if Derek belongs to them…

Poor Derek!


‘Laughing Viking,’ ‘A Smear Of Ice-Cream,’ and ‘Puke Face.’


I’m becoming a bit of a stat obsessive lately and I find it interesting to see what countries people are from, and how they found me. A few months ago I saw a really funny search that someone had made, and so I’ve been keeping a record of the strangest ones ever since. These are the most random and obscure searches that people have typed into their search engine, and have stumbled across my blog.

A while ago I created a post based on fabulous acts of revenge. One of the examples included a girl posting a picture of her boyfriend’s lover’s dirty panties on Facebook, while another included how a man got even with his cheating ex-wife. Consequently, this means that dirty panty enthusiasts and vengeful ex’s find my blog by typing in these ditties…

‘Dirty panties.’
‘Soiled dirty thong.’
‘Sexy dirty panties.’
‘Revenge on cheating ex-wife.’
‘Satisfying revenge on my ex-wife.’
‘Email revenge.’
‘Cheaters spam revenge.’
And then there’s the random searches. Some I understand, others I don’t – I’ve kept the spellings exactly as they were written.
‘Puke face.’ (Good grief)
‘English girls & trousers humour.’
‘Try whistle girlfriend skinny.’
‘I want to post crap on a blog’ (slightly insulting that my blog appeared).
‘Pizza Express complaint.’
‘A fat log.’
‘How nuch are crap.’
‘Clever and funny pantomimes.’
‘Laughing Viking.’
‘I’m 99 sure that I’m a Disney princess.’
‘A smear of ice-cream.’
‘Attached dinner confidence.’
‘Why arnt here gay Disney prince.’
‘Meh blog.’ (Again, slightly insulted)

The mind boggles. Wishing you a goodnight… From ‘Puke Face.’

Picture Credit: google images