‘What I Shoped’ – Unusual (and Baffling) Search Engine Terms

imageSEO, or Search Engine Optimisation, is a big thing in the blogging world, and I’ve read a number of posts about how to use it to increase traffic to the blog. Over the last few years I have started to get a large amount of referrals from search engines, and I love seeing the sorts of things that people have typed in and stumbled across my blog as a result.

Some, I can explain, because I know that a few of my posts are on the first page of Google. For my post ‘23 Things You Should Do Before You’re 23,‘ which still remains as one of my most popular, I often receive things like ‘things to do before 23,’ or ‘What should I do before my 23rd?’. For ‘Nine Things That We Don’t Owe Anyone,’ I get terms like ‘I don’t owe you,’ or ‘things I shouldn’t owe people.’ Recently, with the ‘Trigglypuff‘ saga taking the internet by storm, I have received lots of terms with Trigglypuff mentioned.

However, it’s becoming more frequent that I am finding sentences that make me wonder what on earth I have been writing over the last three years. I’ve always considered this blog to be at a PG rating, with only one or two references made to adult content. However, it’s clear that a large amount of my search terms are focused on these references, so at this point I’d like to warn you that the content of the rest of this post may get a little rude… You may wish to read some of it peeking out through your fingers. Or avoid eating…
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Best. Search Term. Ever

I like to check out my search engine terms as often as possible – I’m always intruiged to find out how people have stumbled across my blog.

They never disappoint – I get all sorts of weird and wonderful sentences, often involving feet for some reason, but today I found this:

image

 

I love the Internet.

Don’t forget to check out tomorrow’s post, when I will be announcing the winners of my Guest Post competition. I had such a large response it has taken a while to go through them all, and I’ve decided to do three opportunities instead of just one.

Enjoy!

I’m trying to get my Instagram page going – hop on over to http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks for pictures of buildings and Dougal, my sister’s pug puppy. What more could anyone want in life?

Obscure Search Terms for 2013

confused-blackfive-net_As it is the final day of the year I decided to review my search engine terms since the birth of my blog in April. I have posted some of these during the year, but there have been a number of wonderful additions to add to the list since then. Some have made me smile, some have made me think. Some, in fact, have left me utterly confused.

There are certainly some strange and unusual people out there…

To date, my most popular search has been ‘Things to Be Thankful For,’ which I think is quite sweet, although it does leave me wondering how miserable these people must be if they have to use Google for ideas. This is closely followed by Leah Remini, who I mentioned in a post about Saved By The Bell. There have been a much wider variation of the search for Leah of late, possibly inspired by her controversial fall-out with the Scientology movement:

Leah Remini
Leah Remini saved by the bell
saved by the bell Leah remini
Leah remini in saved by the bell
was leah remini on saved by the bell

and finally…

Leah Remini’s tits.

There’s always one. Well, actually, there’s more than one. I created a post about a hidden picture of a topless woman in Disney’s ‘The Rescuers,‘ and mentioned in another that a scorned woman had posted a picture of her boyfriend’s secret lover’s dirty panties on Facebook when she discovered their affair. Consequently, these have created some extremely interesting search terms for me…

Blog Boobs
Girls dirty panties
Soiled dirty panties
Dirty panties
Sexy dirty painties

confused-babyWhile I think that I can link most of the search terms used to a specific post, there were a few that I found to be random and quite confusing…

2
afat log
laughing viking
try whistle girlfriend skinny
write one liners related to life. 4 example : . . life is an ice-cream, enjoy it before it melts! . @ / .. . life is ______________
bomb bein made to kill half of america
Cars crashed in weird places
(I think that this may link to the post that I did about Celebrity death jokes)
A smear of ice-cream (why does ice-cream keep appearing???)
how nuch are crap
How much crap

The best one of these has got to be this:

how many drops of eyedrops does it take to make someone poop (I fear for this person)

Then there are searches that I find quite insulting that my blog has come up.

I want to post crap on a blog. (Nice. Thanks for that.)
meh blog
masculinity blog (Strange, considering I’m a woman)
A blog about an annoying teacher

Rottenecards_4510696_88c9q44fw6Of the 3,000 search terms that I have received this year, there were two absolutely outstanding search terms and I couldn’t decide who should be awarded the gold medal. They made me laugh, confused me and made me question what on earth I have written on my blog that would lead these terms to me. Consequently, I have decided to award both of them the joint first prize for entertainment value…

a situation that needs to get unfuckedĀ 

Testicle moisturiser

I have no words (and decided that it was probably best that I didn’t put a picture to go with this one…)

What about you? What is the most unusual search term you have had this year?

You can also find me on Twitter @Suzie81blog

Image credit 1: thinkingblog.com
Image credit 2: danielalexandra.com
Image credit 3: rottenecards.com

Lava Lamps, Facepalms and Leah Remini

Earlier in the year I posted some of the most random and obscure searches that people have typed into their search engine, and have stumbled across my blog. Recently, this appeared in my stats:

Leah Remini Saved By The Bell

This didn’t concern meĀ  – over the summer I wrote about the 20th Anniversary of Saved By the Bell and I mentioned the fact that she had appeared in one of the special episodes. However, when I investigated further, I noticed that this had been typed in no less that twenty – five times in various instances: Leah Remini teenager, leah remini from saved by the bell, what character was leah remini in saved by the bell, leah remini and saved by the bell…

Similarly, I mentioned Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy in another post. These are the searches I’ve had:

Kim Kardashian Pregnant Boobs
Kim Kardashian Pregnant feet
Kim Kardashian pregnant

Thank you Leah Remini and Kim Kardashian for providing my blog with no less than fifty views between you both!

However, these are positively intellectual in comparison to the others I’ve received recently. I’ve decided to put them into ‘facepalm’ categories. These are worthy of a single facepalm:

church of notre dame timesplitter
felt minnion
blog boobs
Offensive words used for unemployed

obese cinderella
house removal
Squirrel
We can learn to no again

These are certainly worthy of a double facepalm:


Is a lava lamp any kind of waste
Cast Fetish Edinburgh
Feel dirty panties girls and women
Fat barbie dolls Ursula godmother
Wordpress boobs
Old spice belly button
A cat with bog eye

However, these are nothing in comparison to this – definitely a triple facepalm:

write one liners related to life. 4 example : . . life is an ice-cream, enjoy it before it melts! . @ / .. . life is ______________

And the best one of all (I actually laughed hysterically at this one) – The Implied facepalm, courtesy of Tommy Lee Jones:

 

“a situation that needs to get unfucked”

Fabulous. Just Fabulous.

Hope you all have a lovely Friday evening!

All pics courtesy of deviant art