Recovery

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After the last few weeks I have been left feeling, quite honestly, hugely depressed. I would normally consider myself to be quite a strong person – I’ve had tougher times than this in the last and have managed to support myself through it, but after the recent news about the house I crumbled a little, threw myself an enormous pity party and have spent the last few days wallowing. I’m still weak from the hospitalisation that I had two weeks ago and the doctor has given me a note for the rest of this week, so I have been grateful to have the time to attempt to process everything. I’ve questioned my karma lots over the last few days – why me? I’m a good person, I work hard… Why do I have to constantly feel I have to battle with everyone?

However, while I don’t feel that there is anything wrong with occasionally focusing on the negative, there were several things yesterday that slapped me in the face and told me to get over myself.

Before I continue, I’d like to remind you again about a fellow WordPress blogger’s struggles with fibromyalgia and the fact that she is at the point of losing her home. I was hugely inspired by this post, which links to a donation site to help her out. I hadn’t met Merbear until yesterday, but I was inspired by her story and the outpouring of love and support that she received from the amazing blogging community, and I implore you to check out this post, reblog and get her story out there.

http://notapunkrocker.wordpress.com/2014/02/24/important-please-help-save-more-than-a-house/

So, after the metaphorical face slapping I gave myself I woke up today and decided to simply move on. I know I have to move out, we’re lucky to have found somewhere new in such a short space of time that suits our needs, and the quicker I get my arse into gear the more organised and less stressed I will be about the situation. I can’t do a large amount of packing in one go, but I can do a little at a time and I’ll get there.

What about you guys? How do you deal with difficult times?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

Three Reasons Why Today Has Kicked Ass…

1. After an intense OFSTED inspection I received my feedback from my observation with an extremely mixed ability Year 9 group. I was awarded an ‘Outstanding,’ making it the third in a row and the second in which I have received such an accolade from an OFSTED inspector. I was delighted – I struggle with self doubt in my profession occasionally and the rather blurry guidelines that are given and repeatedly changed means that there is a level of uncertainty of where the goal posts are. However, it’s over and done with for a while and this means I can now relax a little… My faculty has also done extremely well and I’m really pleased for them all – they’re a fantastic group of people, excellent practitioners and deserve every success…

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2. The Bloke spoilt me with a new bracelet from Pandora as a ‘well done’ – I’m a huge fan of their charms and have slowly built up my collection since purchasing my first as a present to myself for my 30th birthday. He wrote me a beautiful message in a card and gave me the bag, which I though was a charm to add to my bracelet. Instead, it was a brand new piece of jewellery from their new range. It’s absolutely stunning – I’m very lucky!

And possibly the best news of all…

3. I heard from the vets and they have ruled out feline leukaemia and lymphoma for my little friend. She’s still anaemic and has been on a diet of STEAK (she’s eating better than we are), and there is still the possibility of a tumour in her stomach, but at least for now she is doing well and doesn’t seem to be in any pain, which is fantastic.

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So, tonight I am going to thank my lucky stars that somebody up there is watching out for me and my little family, enjoy an evening of relaxation in front of the TV with The Bloke and the cats and do absolutely nothing.

Happy Friday!

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @Suzie81

First World Problems

Is your phone battery dying, but your charger is on the other side of the room? Is your cleaner running late? Do you struggle to hear the TV whilst eating crunchy snacks? Have you eaten too much lunch and are feeling too tired to work in the afternoon?

Life is tough.

This morning I was watching Sweet Genius, a programme that is reguarly shown on The Food Network. A contestant didn’t like what she had produced and so threw it in the bin and then became hysterical because her cake hadn’t turned out in the way that she had hoped. Continue reading

Things to Be Thankful For

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I refrained from writing these thoughts down on my blog and instead made a list in my notebook to be saved for a later date as I felt that perhaps this post was a little early and these reflections should be saved for New Year (and the realisation that all my American and Canadian friends would be doing the same in a few weeks during Thanksgiving, which we don’t celebrate here in the UK), but yesterday I read an absolutely gorgeous post by Dara from The Clearout about the birth of his baby girl and it tipped me over the edge (in a literary sense – please check out ‘Want To Change the World?’ – I reblogged it.) Suddenly the small list had turned into a five-page epic and I was desperate to collate them all on here to share with you.

My initial opening sentence was going to be ‘This year has been a difficult one‘ and when reflecting on the events of the last ten months as a proverbial ‘big picture’ I suppose it has. I have been so focussed (focused? I’m still confused) on the negative aspects of life that I often forget to pause and give thanks for the continuously good things. These are the things that I think most of us forget to be grateful for. Continue reading

A Lady Wot Lunches…

Ah, Monday. I love Mondays. It is fast becoming my favourite day of the week. I have Mondays off now and I genuinely look forward to them – gone are the Sunday night blues and even though the cat woke me up at 5.45am this morning I didn’t mind as I know that I have the whole day ahead of me to do as I please. Bliss.

It has taken me a little while to get used to it – I’ve always been lucky enough to have a full-time job since graduating in 2005 and it was a huge step to realise that I wasn’t coping well earlier this year and request to go .8, but work have been amazingly supportive and even gave me Mondays off without me requesting it specifically. I was initially worried about money, but i’ve lost a lot less than I expected so as long as I am careful I’ll be fine, even with the unexpexcted vets bills for Daisy. There’s the added bonus that one of my closest friends, MRH is also off on Mondays so I can occasionally be a ‘lady wot lunches.’ Continue reading

Monday Morning Musings and Thanks

After The Bloke and I spent yesterday packing I find that I am spending the first part of Monday morning sitting in my front room surrounded by boxes, packing tape, newspapers and bubble wrap. In my very first post I commented on the amount of ‘stuff’ that I own, but it was only when I started to organise all my worldly possessions and box them up that I realised exactly how much I’ve collected over the years. Twelve years ago, when I moved to the city to start univeristy, everything I owned could fit into the back of a car. I remember the day that I got my unconditional offer acceptance letter – I went straight out and bought myself a frying pan, a plate, bowl and cutlery from Woolworths in Bolton Town Centre (I’m showing my age here) and all these years later I am going to have to spend the day finding a large hire van to transport everything across to our new home next week. Continue reading

Thankful

The Bloke had a seizure last night. We’d just started getting ready for bed and suddenly he made some strange noises and then collapsed onto the bed. His arms were twitching, he stopped breathing and he lay there with his eyes open, staring at me. About thirty seconds later he woke up with no memory of what had happened. It was the scariest moment of my life – I genuinely thought he was dead at one point. After a few worrying hours at the hospital all tests came back clear. He feels fairly reasonable today and so I’ve sent him up to his mother’s for a few days. It may sound cold, but he needs a break from here – he doesn’t sleep well because I move around a lot during the night and the neighbours are causing him anxiety and stress. His family are wonderful and so I know that he’ll be able to truly relax without having to listen to the chaos next door and be able to get a decent night’s sleep. I also know that he won’t be as stubborn with his mum as he is with me – if he had his own way he would be back in work today. Continue reading