The Real Truth, Or The Truth We Want To Believe?

imageMy mother once said something to me that I deemed to be very profound and I have never forgotten it:

There are two types of truths: the one we want to believe, and the real truth.

There have been many situations where I have deceived myself into believing that situations were different to reality. I stayed with a sociopathic ex-boyfriend for far too long because I wanted to believe that he loved me, despite the appalling way that he treated me. I’ve continued with friendships that I knew had changed, simply because of the familiarity I felt and the length of time I had known them. I’ve ignored my intuition and repeatedly allowed myself to be taken advantage of by others on many occasions because I wanted to believe that they were good people, and I’ve found myself being emotionally burnt time and time again.

This self-deception, or even willful ignorance to a point, is the easy path to take in so many aspects of life. As good people, we want to believe in the positive – that we’re happy and fulfilled, that the connections that we feel with others are reciprocated and that things are exactly how we want them to be. In truth, and by this I mean the real truth, it is incredibly painful to be able to accept an actuality once we acknowledge that our reality is very different to the way that we would hope.

There are no rules, or the right (or indeed, wrong) way to do things in life. Each of us is bumbling our way through our own journey and whether we believe that we create our own path, or destiny plays a hand, we make the decisions that we feel are right for us in the moment.

But what should we do once the real truth presents itself?

1. Decide what it is that you actually want, however painful it is to acknowledge.

2. Work out the things you can and cannot change. I, and many people around me, get easily stressed and upset by situations that are beyond our control and I have found that it is a huge waste of time and energy.

3. Claim ownership. While others may have been contributing factors to your present situation, it is you that is ultimately responsible for your own life.

4. Put a plan into place, and actually work towards it. Wishing and dreaming about something isn’t going to get you anywhere.

5. Take the risk. To my knowledge, we only have one life, and a life without risks means that we accept the easy path. Nothing worth having is easy.

What about you? Have you ever been confronted with a ‘real truth.’ What did you do?


You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to visit my Facebook page

Image Credit:


The Power of Anonymity


When I started this little blog nearly two years ago, I was struggling with mental health issues and I was desperate to protect myself and maintain a level of anonymity – I’ve heard many horror stories over the years of hacked accounts and personal information being stolen and shared (even within the workplace) and I wanted this to be a place in which I could share my real thoughts, issues and feelings without fear of judgement.

Creating a blog was the best decision I have ever made. This little space of the internet has introduced me to a wonderful community of people who have not only provided me with support, but they made me realise that I am not alone and it is ok to stand up and say ‘I’m struggling.’ I am not being melodramatic when I say that it has changed my life for the better.

As the months went by, my confidence grew – I started to receive some brilliant feedback, I became more trusting of people and started to share my blog’s existence with those around me. Now, everyone who is important to me in my personal life knows, and lots of them follow Suzie81 Speaks by either email or across my social media accounts.

There are both positive and negative sides to this. After reading some of my posts I have been able to build some bridges with formerly estranged family members as it has allowed them them to finally see my point of view. I’ve been told by some of my friends that it has given them a better understanding of who I am as a person. My friends and family have also inadvertently contributed to the growth of the blog by sharing my posts across their social media accounts. I’ve been pleasantly surprised and extremely grateful for their support.

Unfortunately, the negative aspect is that I now feel a little restricted in what I can write about and the depth at which I can divulge my personal thoughts experiences. Two years ago I was sending my ramblings out into a nameless, faceless space of nothingness. While I write for me and always have, I am conscious of the fact that I have an audience of real people, some of whom I know and see regularly.

On days like today, I would like to use this space to say what I really think. This is the beauty of anonymity – the ability to be able to let go without the fear of consequence, but the little voice at the back of my mind is reminding me of who will read it. I live quite a ‘vanilla’ existence – I haven’t done anything bad, I don’t have any dark and dirty secrets that I wish to spill out to the world, but I would love to have the power to be able to say ‘this really p*ssed me off.’

Because lots of things have p*ssed me off recently.

What about you? Do your family and friends know about your blog? Does the audience you have in your personal life dictate what you write about?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page

Love Later Life


There is no cure for ageing

Because ageing isn’t an illness, but a way of life.

And some are better at it than others

The secret?

Think yourself younger than you really are:

On a crowded bus or tube, offer your seat to a young man

Design a website, invent an app

Take up Zumba, forget to nap

For no-one can predict what’s lying in store

With a future more challenging than ever before.


So enjoy the adventure

Time flies, they say, but it’s us that fly

Time sits on its hands, as we rush by.

And life has a way of gathering speed

So seize the day, we’re a special breed

In the blink of an eye

The wave of a hand

The beat of a heart

The brush of a tear

You are old.

But valued still.

Welcome to the fold.


Written by English poet Roger McGough

This poem was created for the latest Age UK tv advert – I think it’s beautiful. In the cinema version of the advert, it is read by 92 year old movie legend Christopher Lee.


You can find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page


Image Credit: