At the beginning of the year, I made a deliberate effort to take back control of my life. I had become aware that the pace I was keeping wasn’t sustainable, so I took some fairly extensive steps to create more balance and structure. I wanted to be more intentional with my time, to focus on what genuinely mattered rather than getting caught up in the constant state of being ‘busy.’ 

For the first few months, it worked well. I felt calmer, more focused, and was far better at managing my time and energy. But gradually, without really noticing, old habits began to creep back in. One small commitment led to another, and before long, that balance that I had worked so hard to create had started to slip away.

The last time I sat down to write a blog post was back in July. As I have done so many times before, I told myself that I would get back into the habit and post more often. Then, as life became more hectic, it all became a bit overwhelming. 

And then it became very overwhelming.

It began with a loss, and from there things seemed to gather pace in ways I could never have expected. What could have been just one difficult chapter soon became a period of change that touched many areas of my life. There was a lot to manage at once, and if I’m honest, it was probably one of the most demanding periods I have had to deal with in a while.

Looking back, I can see how easy it is to get caught up in keeping everything running smoothly. Some time ago, someone I admired told me that I often make decisions from a place of fear: of getting things wrong, of letting people down, or of losing control. At the time I wasn’t sure what to make of it, but over the past few months it has started to make more sense. Being cautious isn’t always a bad thing, but when fear becomes the main driving force behind everything, it can limit what is possible. 

When things reached its height in October, there was a moment that felt like the final straw, and it became clear that, yet again, some adjustments needed to be made. The pace I was keeping (and the expectations that inevitably came with it) had become difficult to sustain, and so I made some deliberate decisions to take back control of my time and focus. That meant setting clearer boundaries, stepping back and creating room to think and reset. It wasn’t about stopping or walking away entirely, but about creating a healthier balance that allowed me to be deliberately intentional in what I do. It hasn’t been easy – in fact some of it has been extremely painful – but taking that step back has given a much clearer perspective, a sense of direction, and a stronger feeling of being in control for what comes next.  

And as a result, things have started to improve, the world has started to feel more colourful again, and the words have flowed. The Bloke and I took some last-minute (but much-needed) time out, going on holiday to Dubrovnik after I was lucky to find an insanely cheap deal. The change of scenery, slower pace, and simple moments of rest made a real difference. Since coming back, work has felt lighter, more manageable, and genuinely enjoyable again. I have been able to approach things with a clearer head and a better balance, and it has reminded me how important it is to make space for rest as part of progress, not as an afterthought.

As we enter the final two months of the year, I’m feeling more grounded and optimistic about what is ahead. I have plans in place that I’m genuinely excited about, and a clearer sense of how I want to approach things this time around. The lessons from the past few months have been valuable, and I’m determined to carry them forward rather than let them fade once things get busy again. My goal is simple: to finish 2025 feeling as positive, balanced, and in control as I did when the year began.