FOMO Bloggers: Why You’re Harming Your Own Blog

Posted on by

166

FOMO Bloggers: how the fear of missing out can actually be hurting you and your blog!

Ethel has written a post. It’s a great post and it’s receiving lots of positive feedback. Janey wants lots of positive feedback too. Janey copies the post, changes a few words around, adds in a few extra ideas and publishes it as her ‘brand new, completely original post’ in all of the 232 Facebook groups that she’s a member of. Nobody will notice, right?

In the last week I’ve read two articles that I immediately connected with. The first, a completely fabulous post by Kate Toon – 19 Things NOT to Do in a Facebook Group – which hilariously highlighted just some of the silliness that I witness daily, and the second by Elena Peters – What’s Up With the Fast Blogging? – a short set of thoughts on the misconceptions of overnight blogging success and the desperation of bloggers to achieve it. They’re both completely different posts, but they essentially focus on the same thing:

FOMO.

Fear Of Missing Out, an all-consuming desire to keep up with everyone else, to have what they have, to do what they’re doing.

There are endless blogging success stories – the bloggers and vloggers who have achieved a lifestyle that most of us could only dream of. Millions of subscribers and views, endorsements and product opportunities, once-in-a-lifetime experiences and adventures, all accompanied with some serious cash. I’ve watched in the last few years as bloggers who appeared from seemingly nowhere have now gone on to become mega-successes. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I don’t want the same.

Except – and this is the key thing to remember here – their ‘overnight’ success was actually achieved after YEARS of daily graft and hard work. Unfortunately, this is something that many still refuse to acknowledge and the resulting FOMO can not only be the source of bad behaviour, but it can potentially hurt a blog and destroy a blogger’s confidence, reputation and integrity.

The main problem can be reduced down to a single thing: desperation. The sheer amount of us (and I’m not completely discounting myself in this at all as I’ve done some of this in my earlier blogging years) that are so desperate to keep up with everyone else has resulted in large percentage of the blogosphere now being made of up of people wildly throwing everything and anything that they can around in the hope that some of it will stick and take off into the blogging stratosphere.

Social media platforms are a confused minefield of stuff – a fast-paced mess that are completely saturated with links full of conflicting information, and this craving to be seen and idolised is enhanced with frantic and irrational behaviour. Facebook groups in particular are the WORST places to be if your self-confidence is fragile and I’ve witnessed successful, professional people resort to repeatedly spamming and/or randomly attacking and insulting others over absolutely nothing purely in an effort to appear as knowledgeable, successful and relevant. It’s an ongoing competition that nobody ever really wins.

My biggest issue with FOMO bloggers is that they bulldoze everything in their path, simply because they don’t take the time to read, learn and understand how to do something or spend some time working out who they are before they put themselves out into the wider online world. Stealing ideas, posts, graphics, images, joining hundreds of Facebook groups and Pinterest boards and frantically sharing as much of their stuff as they possibly can without reading any rules or guidelines, mass following and unfollowing, sending out spam emails, constantly badgering others to sign up to their mailing list, making thinly veiled attempts to disguise their latest course as a blog post so they can try and share it in places where course promotion isn’t allowed… It goes on and on in a political cycle of bullsh*t during which the genuine people simply going about their blogging day are subjected to constant bombardment of ‘LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT MY BLOG! LOOK AT HOW MUCH MONEY I EARNED IN MY FIRST 5 DAYS OF BLOGGING! TELL ME HOW TO DO SOMETHING BECAUSE I CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO GOOGLE IT OR PAY SOMEONE TO HELP ME!’…

What they don’t realise is that this ‘in-your-face’ approach is a massive waste of time. If someone doesn’t read your post by the tenth time you’ve shared it, or tweeted it, or left it in someone’s comments section, or emailed it to them (you’d be surprised at how many people like to email their latest post to make somebody else ‘aware’ of it), or blasted it into Pinterest group boards, then it’s highly unlikely that they’re ever going to interact with it, or with you. In fact, I started actively blocking and removing people who do this sort of thing a long time ago and I know many others who do the same.

Want to Avoid Being a FOMO Blogger?

Accept that you are who you are, and start to acknowledge that your uniqueness is your brand. I would love to be as witty and talented as some of my favourite bloggers, but I’m not. That isn’t a self-deprecating statement in any way – I generally write about who I am, what I know and how I live. I don’t have the time, inclination, money or the figure to spend hours creating the perfectly crafted photograph of myself looking all gorgeous and wistful in front of a beautiful skyline. I don’t have the cooking skills to post about the perfect lasagne. My cat, as awesome as he is, is not going to have his own Instagram account anytime soon. Great for those that can achieve this – and I live vicariously through others that do these sorts of posts incredibly well – but I’m happy with my sweat pants and a husband who excels at squirrel photography.

Stop focusing on what everybody else is doing around you and concentrate on what you enjoy writing about. The fact that a blogger friend has gained 150,000 views on a post about her favourite pair of socks does not mean that you need to write about the same thing (particularly if you don’t blog about socks regularly) – I can guarantee that you won’t get the same results, it will be blatantly obvious to everyone that you’re trying to jump on an invisible bandwagon and you’ll end up feeling deflated. Great content is what you make it, not defined by the number of people that read it.

Accept – and I can’t stress this enough – that it takes a LONG TIME to be an overnight success. And I’m not talking just posting every so often over a few years here, I mean regular and consistent content creation and genuine promotion.

Shut up about ‘going viral.’ I’ve said this a million times before and I’ll say it again – going viral is predominantly down to luck, and a large amount of the posts I’ve read about the subject have been written by people who have never experienced it. Forget the word and move on.

Focus on one specific area and then expand your reach slowly. Start with Twitter, or Facebook, or Pinterest and then move onto the others and/or when you feel confident.

Research and practice before jumping in. Want to learn how to use StumbleUpon? Read as many articles as you can about how it works. Practice using it. Try some SU based tasks out with some close blog friends. Watch what happens in an SU link-up, THEN participate in one yourself, rather than diving in head-first and expecting others to tell you what to do afterwards.

As Elena states very eloquently in her post, calm down and make your time count. Instead of sharing your latest post in every single place that you can think of all in one go, target one specific area and spend some time interacting with other people. You can easily visit, comment and share posts from at least ten other people in the same time it would take to blast your links repeatedly across every social media account you have and you’ll gain so much more for doing so. Or, create an effective social media checklist that allows you to share and interact without shoving your posts down everyone’s throats every single day for the next three weeks.

Don’t be shady. If you want to participate in something, actually read what it is that you have to do first and then join in properly. Don’t email people you’ve never interacted with before requesting a reblog, or a guest post, or some sort of promotion. Don’t post pointless questions in Facebook groups that you can easily Google in the hope that someone will reply with ‘followed’, or randomly attack people just because you’re behind the safety of a computer screen. Don’t leave your link in other people’s comment sections. Don’t email someone requesting that your post be added to their viral post of a similar theme. Make your interactions genuine ones.

And above all, stop focusing on world domination and find your friends. A decent group of like-minded, non-FOMO people will do far more for you in the long run than a bajillion groups.

 

What about you guys? Have you been subjected to nightmare FOMO bloggers? Or are you a FOMO blogger yourself?

 

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to follow my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks, my Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks and my Instagram page http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks

 

166 thoughts on “FOMO Bloggers: Why You’re Harming Your Own Blog”

  2. Great post Suzie, even if it made me a bit sad to read. It seems I have been lucky to not have come across to many bloggers like this. As always when reading things like this I worry that I have done anything like this by accident, even if I don’t think I have. But if you ever get a post on your socks go viral, I might jump on the bandwagon…

  8. No FOMO here. I found that going viral wasn’t as great as it sounds in theory. First, your stats are rendered meaningless as they are completely skewed and then there is the pressure to out-do your previous post or somehow capitalize on whatever magic there was to make you go viral in the first place which in my case resulted in major blog block.

  9. Some very sage advice here Suzie. People who leave links to their blogs on my blog, is starting to get on my nerves. I don’t mind if they’ve mentioned that they’ve written something that relates to my post in amongst their comment on my post, but using my blog to promote theirs is a bit “off”. You can smell the non-genuine “engagers” from a mile off. They seem to all use the same language/approach. Also, if you ever do set up an Instagram account for your cat, I’m here all day, everyday for it 👍🏻

  13. This was very helpful and eye opening! I haven’t experienced, nor am I, a FOMO blogger yet. BUT now I know how these types of actions affect people and will be sure to steer clear.

    Thank you for sharing! 🙂

  14. I have been guilty of a fair amount of blog envy in my time, and have tried different methods to try and get my blog a little more ‘out there.’ However, if my blog were to be successful then I would much rather it be on my OWN merit, with my OWN posts! I always welcome help and idea, but would NEVER stoop to plagiarising to get myself notice, honesty and integrity are so important to me. I must admit, that at one point in my blog, I thought about packing it in as I realised that others think along similar lines as me and I am not as original as I would have liked! However, I love blogging and the community too much to give it up, and there is only one me, however similar others are to me, or I to them!

  15. Suzie, you are wise beyond your years! I’m new to the blogging world (3 years) and I am jumping up and down cheering at the contents of this post. We all dream of more followers and more ‘success.’ But what has worked for me is consistent, quality content, promoting as much as I can (I have a life outside of blogging), and gratitude for those who read my work. If people engage in and share my work it is a bonus. Slow, steady progress wins the race. And learning to do the right things well can help propel you forward.

  16. This is spot on. For those of us who are struggling it can be hard to cut through the noise and BS out there but ultimately longevity will come I’d you stay in your own lane and try to make it your place to dominate!

  19. I think the comparison part is hard for anybody, especially with countless bloggers and YouTubers “making millions” and like you said, living the dream. I think another reason while people are so competitive is because the online world is so saturated and nobody wants to give but everybody wants something from you. Like I remember the first every YouTube comment I got on my video was a guy asking me to check out his channel. Like, bruh, not cool.
    I find that you get a lot more back when you interact with others genuinely and because you want to. I only comment on things I actually engage and have an opinion on. I find that this drives a lot more traffic to my blog than anything else.
    I think there’s a lot of hard but very helpful truths in this post. You are one of my favourite bloggers because you always tell it honestly. Loved the post, as always, and I can’t wait to read the discussion on this one!

    • Thank you! I find it really frustrating when people send messages saying ‘hi! Check out my blog!’ Always makes me think why? What’s good about it? and it immediately puts me off…

  20. I’ve definitely noticed bloggers who spring out of nowhere and then expect instant success. I’ve had new bloggers take my ideas before or try to emulate certain things and it’s just to try and stay at the top. But I always think FOMO bloggers burn out fast. I love the points you gave this is a great article. 🙂

    • You’re totally right – most of them end up giving up pretty quickly… Some of them, though are still incredibly persistent… It’s often made much worse if they have a successful post and suddenly think that this is going to remain constant.

  22. I’ve been guilty of asking questions rather than doing the research a couple of times. I don’t know why, as I’m perfectly capable of looking things up myself and usually prefer to do it that way. On the other hand, I’ve answered other people’s questions, so perhaps it balances out.

    • I don’t see anything wrong with asking questions in groups where you know the community and you contribute regularly – that’s what they’re made for, but I’ve seen the most pointless questions being asked on numerous occasions where it would have been easier to just google it… It’s obvious that these sorts of questions are more for attention than an actual answer

  23. OMG I love this!! Great post, Suzie. I’ve just finished reading Elena’s post about Fast Blogging and nodded my way through it just I’ve done with yours. For me, blogging is a hobby, an enjoyable side line to my books and business, and if I ever got into the headspace of being a blogzilla then I’d hope one of my blogging pals would set me right with a virtual slap! 😉

  24. I love reading posts like this because it makes me feel so much better about not being part of the “in” crowd – I can’t even take a decent selfie. I’m not on Twitter or IG – I’m just a happy little blogger who belongs to a few groups where I share the love. I gave up on the viral dream within weeks of starting my blog – I just don’t have it in me – and now I’m happy tootling along in my own little corner of the blogosphere. I seem to hit the “unfollow” button a lot more these days because pushy people wear me out. Nice to see I’m not alone.

  25. Solid tips there. The bombardment of blogger ‘success’ story posts gets my goat. And I’ll say it again – ‘going viral’ always sounds gross to me 🙂

  26. Couldn’t agree more. I just completed 5 years of blogging and yes, there are moments of self doubts but what I do to counter that is better my writing skills. I started blogging to write and share thoughts so why should I run after going viral or a thousand views? I’m a part of very few groups and I see that people just misuse the liberty they are given. Your post tell me why? Desperation to become popular!

  27. as always, insightful, and encouraging. Thank you for being so down to earth and approachable. I am grateful for you and I know I would love to reach more and have those soaring stats, but, in reality, I am appreciative of those who follow me and comment on my posts. I am writing and that is what I love to do… if for no one else, it is for me, to release that which is inside of me longing to get out. Thanks for being you! Cathi (DAF)

  28. I have seen this behaviour and learned not to buy into it. Personally I want to blog for several reasons but they aren’t business related. I get a few yoghurt vouchers occasionally which my friend mocks me over!! Interesting post and I bet it is good to get off your chest too.

  29. Favorite quote from this great post (er, piece): “I’m happy with my sweat pants and a husband who excels at squirrel photography.” Basically, if I’m reading you right, you’re saying it’s good to be true to your blogger self and to the reason you started blogging in the first place. In my case, it was my daughter’s idea. The Child had grown weary of hearing me repeat the same old (but fab!) stories over and over. She knew I wouldn’t write a ‘book’; she knew I would like some Actual Readers, so she suggested a blog. (I honestly did not know what the hell a ‘blog’ was, nor did I know anything about ‘stats’ until I’d been ‘blogging’ for several months!) The problem? Once I knew about ‘stats’ I became obsessed with them. Now I’m comfortable (or somewhat comfortable) with the idea that I’ll never have blockbuster stats, but that I may just have found a nice tidy little audience for my writing. So I am (reasonably) content. Sorry to go on and on, but it’s your fault (!) for publishing such a powerful and relevant post. Thank you (I think) And xoxoxox

  30. Did I miss something? LOL, couldn’t help myself. I used to have FOMO when I was a new blogger. I didn’t know what I was missing, but I felt for sure that it was important. But still, I didn’t behave the way some of these people behave. The FOMO was all in my head, not spewed across social media. I’ve since learned to CTFD. Now I’m happy when my analytics show that I’m growing in readers and followers year over year. That’s all.

  31. Excellent post as always Suzie!
    Although…now I am a little paranoid I might have FOMO moments. I’ll try to CTFD too.

  32. Acronyms are too much for this warped head of mine at the moment but I am sure you are talking about “Dont steal other peoples posts juggle some words and say it’s yours!” If I got that right … even this woman with a wonnky brain can tell you PLAGERISM STINKS! It is a great big no no ! Another eye opening post Suzie.

  33. As always you’ve hit the nail on the head. I think it’s like anything in life though it’s that keeping up with the Jones’ mentality. I think we all have to take stock and pause before we go running after the bandwagon.

    • I agree – I am on pinterest every day and the amount of new posts I see on a particular topic after it has started trending is ridiculous… And they all say the same thing!

  35. Great post, Suzie. I’ve had to deal with this with my writing. I got so involved with social media and trying every new program that was introduced that I didn’t have time to write. I had to scale it back and just focus on a few sites and I’ve been able to write more. I’m much happier! 🙂

  36. I always learn so much from your posts! I still think I’m a bit of a novice and probably a bit blogosphere naive – but for me it is all about enjoying my blog and making some great connections…..I never was very good with statistics at school!! Great post as ever, Suzie x

  39. This is the first time I’ve heard of the FOMO term and what it means. I also ‘once’ had never heard of a Flame War. That term I learned the hard way back in 2013. I don’t want to step into a Flame Trap again set by Trolls who prey on authors. I prefer learning about a term like FOMO by reading about it in a post like this one. Much better way to learn.

      • I suggest you learn how to recognize what’s known as a Troll set Flame Trap and avoid them like they are the plague. Even Ann Rice stepped in one of those traps and a tribe of trolls working together attacked her online. She fought back by turning to her millions of fans and asked them for help. I read that soon the trolls were on the run fearing for their lives because it seems some vampire lovers are also master hackers and they discovered who these anonymous trolls were and outed them.

        March 2014: “Alison Flood reports for the Guardian that Rice is taking a stand against the “gangster bullies” that frequent forums and review anonymously (and often randomly) to “discipline authors whom they see as their special prey,” according to Rice. Rice recently lent her support to Todd Barselow’s petition seeking to de-anon the review and forum sections of Amazon. Rice rallied her fans on Facebook to support the cause…”

        https://www.mhpbooks.com/anne-rice-fights-amazon-trolls/

  40. Oh my goodness !!! Are such kind of people really around ?? Interesting!!
    I am happy in my ‘little’ blog world even if it means only around 50-75 views at an average and hardly around 10-12 likes per post!! I would be lying if I said I didnt want more – who doesn’t ?? But the thing I want more than views and likes is – not to be a blog pest !!!! 🙂

  42. Stumbled upon your blog and thus post caught my eye. Thankfully I haven’t met too many FOMO bloggers but the ones I have were pretty intense and persistent. For me I blog to help people and because I love it and that’s what’s important

    • Apologies for the late reply – I found you in my spam folder… The block button on social media is always useful for the persistent ones. What sort of stuff have you had to deal with?

  46. I appreciate your ideas here – I’ve been a food blogger for 7 years, in a niche that hosts 341 million *other* food blogs. That alone could make anyone hang it up after not seeing significant success in the amount of time I’ve been at it. I’m thankful that I enjoy it enough to keep on despite never, ever going viral or even making enough $$ to cover the cost of my annual self-hosting fee. Considering the amount of time it takes to properly promote each post via social media, my hope for 2018 is to feel that my investment of time is rewarded by more authentic interactions, whether it be with my primary audience (beleaguered parents and any meal planners who are looking for easy, nutritious recipes), or the secondary audience which are other food bloggers and dietitians. Thanks for the insight on what not to do – glad to know this check-in made me feel better about my approach!

  47. I love that you say what you’re thinking so honestly and eloquently that we all immediately feel better for having read it! I’m like all the others, enjoying my blogfest and if others happen to enjoy it too then that makes two of us! I often see other posts screaming about their instant successes and telling me how I should be doing what they’re doing, but I have learnt that it’s not for me. It’s been a struggle at times as I’ve doubted myself but I’m still here blogging away in my own little world and I’m happy 🙂 Thanks for helping me make sense of it all with your insightful posts 🙂

  48. Great post! I have to admit of being guilty to thinking I need to post links to my blog on every social media platform going, but quickly realised it’s a waste of time. And so bloody time consuming. And boring. It takes the focus off why I started blogging in the first place.

  49. Great post. I’ve been blogging less than one year and at times have found myself very confused at all the tips for bloggers. At the beginning I didn’t understand why so many bloggers blog about blogging – then I realised most of them are flogging stuff. Nothing wrong with that, of course, means a newbie could spend all day reading conflicting information and suffer badly from FOMO!! I try and work out who are the bloggers who know what they are talking about (like you!) and listen to what they say. Cheers, JIll

  50. You know what I actually get a lot of this. People file my blog, make a throw away comment on a post or two to get me to follow back. Fortunately its not something I get exposed a lot to.

Comments are closed.