I’ve seen a lot of these lists recently, and they’re all very funny in the fact that they’re absolutely true. I thought I’d add my own from my various experiences of life.
1. I’ll be there in twenty minutes: I still haven’t got dressed and can’t find my handbag.
2. I’ll be there as soon as I can, I’m still waiting for a taxi: See number 1.
3. It’s not really my style, but I’m sure it would look good on you: I hate that outfit.
4. Well, if that’s your decision then I’ll support you: I totally disagree with your decision but I’m not going to say anything.
5. Do you think I’m overreacting?: I don’t care whether you think I’m overreacting, I expect you to agree with me.
6. As long as he makes you happy: I think he’s a douchebag.
7. I’m going to the bar, does anyone want a drink?: I’m asking when I can see you’ve all got full glasses, but don’t want to be accused of not buying a round.
8. (When asked for a choice between two options) I’m happy with either, you choose: I know what I want to do but don’t want to be responsible for you being bored.
9. I haven’t got any money: I don’t want to go.
10. Ooh, you look really pretty today: I see you’ve bothered to put makeup on today.
11. Sorry I didn’t get your message, I think that there’s something wrong with my phone: I completely forgot to reply to your initial message.
12. Sorry, but… : I’m not sorry, I’m just about to tell you that you’re wrong.
13. Ok, I’ll give it a go: I’m not going to even attempt to do it as I can’t be bothered, but I’m going to ask for help again later on and give the impression that I’ve really tried.
14. I hear what you’re saying, but… : I totally disagree and don’t really want to have any further conversations about it.
15. I was really disappointed when you… : You really p*ssed me off.
16. If you’re free for a catch-up let me know: I know that neither of us are going to contact each other, but I thought I would be polite.
17. It’s not you, it’s me: It’s you. Definitely you.
18. Haha! Only joking! : I wasn’t joking.
19. Thanks anyway: Thanks for nothing.
20. I’m not ready for a relationship right now: I’m not attracted to you enough to want to be in a monogamous relationship with you.
21. Aww, he’s a little bruiser isn’t he!: Your child is overweight.
22. I’m not feeling well: I want to stay in, watch TV and eat Doritos.
23. Lol: I didn’t laugh, but I am acknowledging the fact that you made a joke.
24. Do you want the last one?: I really want the last one and am hoping that you’ll let me have it.
25. I’ll be ok: I’m fed up, but I don’t want to talk about it anymore and I would like you to shut up now.
26. I’m going to go, I’ve got be to up early for work tomorrow: I’m bored.
27. You look like you need a hand: You’re doing a rubbish job and I think I can do it better.
What about you guys? Do people around you say things that they don’t mean?
You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog





I’m sorry but: ……
No Susie I tend to be straight forward and honest, except for point 16 – i don’t like to be rude.
But I’m sure alot of people say things they do not mean. The thing is one needs to be able to pick up on it, but I’d rather just prefear honesty.
I agree, but there are lots of people out there who aren’t as honest as you and don’t want to hurt people’s feelings… Thanks for all your comments!
🙂 Yea there are.
+1. I prefer that people be direct– yes, I don’t want my feelings hurt, but I do not like to guess.
I have been trying to train myself to just be honest with my friends. For instance, when they get together and I don’t feel like going, I just say “Guys, thanks for the invite but I just feel like staying home tonight/this weekend/etc.” I find that people appreciate when you actually MEAN what you say and not come up with an excuse like “oh I have so much to do!” Claiming that you are busy when you are not is the lamest thing ever. Thanks for the post!
You’re welcome! Totally agree!
Very funny 🙂
Thank you!
Can’t pick my favorite. All of them are funny but true most of the time. Hehe.
Thanks! Really pleased you enjoyed it!
oh god. This depresses me, I wish people would be transparent
This is so great, mostly because I can actually personally connect with using most of them on a regular basis! This is a wonderful post, and it’s very easy to relate to!
People do say these things, ALL THE TIME. I am way too direct for the b.s. I don’t feel the need to dance around a subject, I just say it.
LOVE this!!
#6 is my all time favorite!
Hahahaha these are awesome! My favorite is LOL: I didn’t laugh but I’m acknowledging you made a joke : ). Well done!
“Interesting!” means “I don’t care. Please stop talking so I can say what I really think is interesting.”
I use ‘interesting’ in a similar way. “The thing you said wasn’t interesting at all, but I am doing my best to sound impressed anyway.”
Haha! I’ve used that one myself!
Wait, is that your genuine response to my comment? Interesting…
@Phil – 🙂
Are you sleeping? Meaning I know you are sleeping but I want you to wake up NOW
Wow, number seven is really clever. Never thought of that one, before. Gotta try that someday…
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#10 & #24 made me laugh out loud [really, for true]. This is a great list. I feel like there should be a drinking game built around it. Wouldn’t that be fun?!!
[And btw, Susie sent me. Nice to meet you.]
“Susie sent me.”
Not only have I been on the receiving end of these but I am pretty sure I’ve used almost every one. That doesn’t make me a bad person, right? Insert respons #12 or #14 here.
Some great examples! Susie sent me.
I’ve been accused of being brutally honest/blunt. It’s nice when I meet others who don’t play those games. I may sometimes soften my choice of words, but people don’t usually have to wonder where I stand on anything. Life is too short. Love your phrase selections. Glad you shared at Susie’s place!
Ha! Yes, there are a number of these that I’ve either had used on me, or that I’ve tried to be polite and used. BTW, Suzie sent me. *s* Fun post!
Love these and can’t pick a favorite, Susie sent me!
These are funny! Thank God, we live in a society that allows us to be indirect. I would hate to be a mind reader. I would be mad at everyone!!!!
Thanks for bringing this link to the party. Have fun and don’t forget to dance!
Oh !!! I’ve seen them being used so often and am guilty of hiding behind some of them many a times too.
Thanks for sharing the post on Susie’s party !!
Fun post! Reminds me of a friend who decided to tell the absolute truth 100% of the time. We called it “vomit honesty” because it was often rather jarring, as when someone asked, “Do you like my new haircut?” and she instantly replied, “No, I think it makes you look like a serial killer.”
Your baby is so healthy! = Your baby looks like a cross between Elmer Fudd and an anaconda.
Your baby is so healthy and substantial! = Your baby looks like a FAT cross between Elmer Fudd and an anaconda.
Susie sent me and I’m so glad she did. This is a very life-useful translator.
Ah yeah, this made me laugh. Susie sent me, and I’m glad she did!
superb…!
Love this. It made my day.
Great list! #1 is me all the time. I also use “I’ll think about it” when someone asks me to do something but I actually me “no, I’m not going to do that but I’ll make you think I might just so you won’t feel too bad when I do say no” OR “no, and I’m going to ignore you about this from now on and hope you forgot to ask me”
Stopping by from the SITs Girls Saturday Sharefest.
LOVE THESE! Every single one…. lol I so do the ‘somethign must be wrong with my phone” thing… 😀
23 is the best. I hate it when people say lol. Seriously. If you’re truly laughing, you wouldn’t be able to utter the letters lol. Loved this list!
Ha.
This reminds me of a meme of the beast (from Beauty and the Beast) being quite honest:
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3q7bix
On the other hand, my phone really is stupid and I miss messages. I’ve started routing through Google Voice so that I can check online occasionally to see if someone texted me and my phone just didn’t get it.
“No offense…” I’m going to say something you’re going to find offensive. Don’t hate me for it.
These were all so true! Smiles!
Yes to this list!
I do the “I’m sorry..” thing a lot. Or “no offense.” But really, I don’t MEAN to offend…
I’m the same, but I know that they aren’t going to like what I’m going to say… Thanks so much for your comment!
Hahaha! Ohhhh so true! Especially #10 & #17… Sure, we ask prefer honesty in some areas…but when I ask someone if this outfit looks ok, I would rather they temper the brutal truth with a little kindness. 🙂
I agree – ‘you look like you’re wearing a bin bag’ was a brutally honest comment I once received and even though I appreciated the honesty I couldn’t help feeling paranoid for the rest of the night…
I tell lies all the time. I don’t tell mum’s their kids are little bruisers, I tell them they are, or would be if they put their teeth in. Lists like this remind me that the lies we tell ourselves are who we are.
I think that there are a lot of us that tell little white lies, to save hurting people’s feelings… Thanks for your comment!
you asked for feedback. some are chuckle-worthy, some not so much. end of feedback.
I really enjoyed this. I find it so ironic that honesty is considered impolite but yet, using everyday “reasons” like these are okay.
These are so funny! I have those friends that are always late and will tell me that they are on their way when I know they are no where even close to leaving!
Thank you very much! I have lots of those friends too – it was them that were the initial inspiration for the post…
“Lol: I didn’t laugh, but I am acknowledging the fact that you made a joke.”
This! OMG you are so right. I love the internet but this is what frustrates me about it. Sometimes a facial expression would go a long way, ya know?
I get more frustrated when people actually say ‘LOL.’ Really? You didn;t find it funny to laugh, why say lol???
Mm, there are people who really need to step away from the keyboard and re-evaluate their techniques for expressing human emotion.
Omg, so many of these are super hilarious!
Reblogged this on Suzie81 Speaks and commented:
This has been my most popular post over the summer – I thought I’d share it again for those of you that missed it as I’m busy today… Feel free to share, reblog, and tweet!
“You are over-reacting” really means “Yeah, I did that awful thing but I don’t want to be accountable and take responsibility for it, so I’m going to make you the bad one”.
I’ve actually seen people type LOL in front of me with the most indifferent look on their faces. Not even a blink. That made me LOL.
Great list ! I could say these ones by time…
Still funny anyway !
This is so funny and actually really helpful. 🙂
Thanks Anna! I’m pleased you enjoyed it!
please check out my blog http://www.loveandvodka.com
“Uuuhhh, have you lost some weight? Looking good!”
– Meaning: “It was about time you started a diet!!”
Haha! I hadn’t thoug of that one! Brilliant!
“You look different”- meaning either you look lousy or you have put on weight.
Suzie,
What does douchebag and bruiser mean ?
Very funny, and I meant that.