1. Walking down the street in these outfits will make people think I am a style icon and try and emulate my fashion sense.
2. Teenagers in America, particularly in Stars Hollow and Capeside, posses a mastery of complex vocabulary. I work with hundreds of teenagers every day and if I can get a ‘nah, man!’ out of them I’m doing well.
3. New York City is an affordable place to live and all apartments there are beautifully decorated and spacious.
4. It is possible to be in the vicinity of the murder of hundreds of people in Cabot Cove, New York and Ireland, and not once be considered a suspect. Jessica Fletcher is a master criminal.
5. The louder the TV chef, the more unhealthy the food.
6. The bumbling idiot will always have a beautiful wife.
7. Your best friend will forgive you for kissing his girlfriend after you have sat in a box and thought about what you did.
8. There are seven basic erogenous zones.
9. James Woods likes candy.
10. It is possible to live solely on junk food and coffee and maintain a supermodel figure without doing any exercise.
11. A wanted criminal can be found anywhere in the world with just a partial fingerprint, a reflection in a window and a few random clicks. Ultimately, they are going to be linked to a terrorist group.
12. Groups of friends from High School will go to the same college, and will be accompanied by one of their teachers.
13. I am a bad person. I should be donating to the RSPCA, NSPCC, Red Cross, UNICEF, the WSPA and the Humane Donkey Society. I should also be sponsoring a snow leopard, a tiger and several children across the world.
14. A criminal with a machine gun can miss their target a million times. However, a policeman with a Glock will get a perfect shot every time, and never run out of ammunition.
15. Parents will never notice if a boy puts a ladder up to their teenage daughters window at night.
16. Doctors are hot. Super hot. With perfect hair.
17. He is NOT the father.
18. All locks can easily be picked with hair grips.
19. Spies can travel across the world in less than five minutes without any form of jet lag.
20. Heartbroken women who have just ended their relationship will always go back to the place where she and her ex first met.
21. Emotional breakdowns will cause somebody to walk about in the rain, without an umbrella.
22. The same group of friends will be able to sit on the same couch at the same table every time they visit.
23. Despite the fact that all the evidence a cop has against a suspect is purely circumstantial, the suspect will admit their crime in the end and give full explanations as to why they did it.
24. When in jail, it is a good idea not to insult the chef’s food.
25. The geek always gets the girl in the end.
26. Childbirth is quick and newborns emerge looking about five months old and fast asleep.
27. When given the choice of a career opportunity of a lifetime and a relationship that has failed repeatedly, the relationship will always win.
28. Large couches should never be places against the wall.
29. It is possible for beautiful women to go to sleep, get up, go to work for a full day and then out to a party at night without once having to do their hair and make up – this automatically remains perfect at all times.
What about you guys? What things have you learned from the television?
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