Great Expectations

suzie81speaks:

Just a reblog today I’m afraid, just in case you missed it…

Originally posted on Suzie81 Speaks:

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I dislike the idea of expectation. To expect something suggests a sense of entitlement and this can often lead to disappointment.

In the last thirteen years there have been only two things that have remained unchanged and constant in my life: my bank details, and my little cat. Everything else is different. My family, my friends, the place that I live are different. Indeed, I am different.

As I was growing up I had a simple, if somewhat naive plan. I was going to go to university, become a session musician, get rich, get married, buy a house, have children and live happily ever after. I did everything that was expected from me, in what could have been deemed to be a socially acceptable order. I didn’t make waves or cause problems. I was a good girl.

What I discovered is that even the best laid plans do not always…

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To Suzie, With Love

suzie81speaks:

Thank you so much for the amazing messages of support today… This was beautiful, it made me cry and I wanted to share it with you…

Originally posted on Square One Notes:

I drafted this yesterday after visiting Suzie81 Speaks and learning of her happiness project that is open all week. Before hitting publish this morning I went back to her site to link up and found a farewell post to her beloved furry pal. The very opposite of happiness. I suppose I need to better explain her proposal before she posted this news. Suzie asked readers to post an image, poem, flash fiction, essay, etc interpretation or reflection of the word happy. My first thought was it’s disrespectful to publish my post today as she must be grieving. But then it occurred to me that the universe may have conjured exactly what she needs at this time. Comfort. Unconditional love from a faithful family pet is the perfect example of the word happy.

Dear Suzie,

Today is going to be sad. I’m so sorry. I’m lending my support in your happiness initiative…

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She Was There – Goodbye My Little Friend

Today, I lost my little friend.

I often see the phrase ‘I have no words‘ written after the death of someone important. I have plenty of words. Hundreds.

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My Little Friend

From that very first day when she pushed against my hand at the RSPCA centre she has been a huge support in my life, the only constant that has been with me for thirteen years. She’s seen me through my graduation, she sat on my lap when I typed up applications for job interviews and she celebrated with me when I got them, she was there when I began new relationships, she was there when they ended, she was there during the highest and lowest points of my life. She has moved house with me six times, taking every move in her little stride. We’ve seen in countless New Years, birthdays and Christmas’s together. She would chase me around the house with her stuffed toys, her eyes growing wider just before she was about to pounce. She was there when my family broke apart.

She was there.

When others have judged me, insulted me, put me down and dismissed me, she has been the one thing that has never failed to greet me after a bad day and show me unconditional love. Every night, as I got into bed, she would lay on me and give me a kiss goodnight before retiring to her own little bed in the corner of my room. If I cried, she would jump up and push her head against mine. She was always an independent soul and made it perfectly clear when she wanted to be left alone (I have the scars to prove it) and right to the very end her feisty nature and her hatred of the other cats never waned. She was funny, she had a quirky little personality and could never quite establish a normal miaow, instead creating something that resembled more of a squeak. Her presence allowed me the confidence to feel safe on my own in the house at night. She was my little safety net in times of darkness, and made the happy times seem so much brighter.

Some may role their eyes and proclaim that she was ‘just a cat.’ To me, she wasn’t just a cat, she was my company, my confidante, my family and at times she was my only friend.

She was there. She was mine.

I was with her in her last moments. At the age of nineteen I know that she had a good life, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I did everything I could for her and I know that she was happy and loved, but I wish that I could turn back the clock and live it all over again with her. I want to bring her home and protect her. I want to feed her, play with her, cuddle up with her, talk to her.

What I don’t know is how I am possibly going to do the rest without her.

Goodbye, my little friend. I’ll miss you forever.

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

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Great Expectations

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I dislike the idea of expectation. To expect something suggests a sense of entitlement and this can often lead to disappointment.

In the last thirteen years there have been only two things that have remained unchanged and constant in my life: my bank details, and my little cat. Everything else is different. My family, my friends, the place that I live are different. Indeed, I am different.

As I was growing up I had a simple, if somewhat naive plan. I was going to go to university, become a session musician, get rich, get married, buy a house, have children and live happily ever after. I did everything that was expected from me, in what could have been deemed to be a socially acceptable order. I didn’t make waves or cause problems. I was a good girl.

What I discovered is that even the best laid plans do not always come to fruition. At the age of 32 I find myself working as a music teacher. I live in the UK’s second biggest city with my long-term, long-suffering partner and our three cats in a rented property, and I’ve moved house six times in ten years. I have no savings (thanks to astronomical vets bills over the last year) and I’m not rich. My parents are divorced and I haven’t seen or spoken to my father in twelve years.

I realised that I wasn’t cut out to be a professional musician – the competition for performing roles was too high, and if I am being brutally honest I was devastated because I simply knew that the profession wasn’t the right one for me. My expectations of what my life was going to be were dashed, and I was left feeling disappointed and lost. However, hard work, a little bit of luck and being in the right place at the right time gained me a teaching role, and it was through this that I met my partner.

No, my life isn’t what I expected it to be. It’s far better.

I work in a profession that I enjoy, where I get good results and have a great relationship with the students. My mother is my closest friend and a constant source of support. I have fantastic friendships with genuine people and a relationship with a man who has supported me throughout it all. I am not financially rich, but I don’t want for anything. I’ve eaten good food, drank good cocktails and listened to fabulous bands in concert. I have been able to travel a little and see places and things that I could only have dreamed of when I was creating my life plan all those years ago. While the trials and tribulations have been tough, the journey has been exciting, I have worked hard and I love the idea of not knowing what is going to happen next.

I have few expectations from life, and make no apologies for this. Of course, I have dreams and little goals that I set myself, but I can only expect from life what I am willing to put into it. Always hope, always work hard, but never expect.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/great-expectations/

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Weekly Word Challenge: Happy

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I have been wanting to create a community challenge for Suzie81 Speaks for some time now – I have gained a following of wonderfully talented and creative people  decided that the best way to do this would be through a weekly word challenge – I will post a new word every week on Sunday at 7.00pm – with today being slightly different as it is the first challenge.

Happiness. There are a million posts published every day that focus on the idea of being happy – what makes us happy, how to achieve it, why we need to be happy in our lives…

For the first ever weekly word challenge the theme for this week is ‘happy.’ How you respond to the word is entirely up to you – here are some suggestions.

1. Create a list of things that make you happy.

2. Recall the happiest events of your life to date.

3. Create a poem that reflects on the word.

4. Share photographs of things that have made you happy recently.

5. Write a ‘how to’ guide on how to be happy.

6. Create a short story.

Once you have finished your post, include the link back to this page so others can see it or post it in the comments section. If you wish to place this badge on your blog or on the page, feel free! The challenge will remain open all week and anybody can participate whether they follow Suzie81 Speaks or not! Each Saturday I will reblog some of my favourites… It will be a brilliant opportunity for you to gain more traffic and followers!

Enjoy! Share with your friends! I’m looking forward to seeing what you create!

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to ‘like’ my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Suzie81speaks

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How Much Stuff Does One Person Need?

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I decided that I would tackle some of the little jobs that needed to be finished on my list. One of them was to empty and tidy my rather large handbag. I’m a huge Radley fan, owning several of their bags in various sizes. I’ve had it for a few years and I often refer to it as my Mary Poppins bag – I put things in and they disappear. I was getting quite frustrated with it at the weekend, so I thought I would delve in and see what on earth I have been carrying around for the last six months.

This is what I found:

  • Standard make-up kit – two mascaras, three eyeshadows, an eyeliner, set of tweezers, two lip glosses.
  • Small tin of Vaseline.
  • Small bottle of Stella McCartney perfume.
  • Small bottle of Carolina Herrera 212 perfume.
  • Seventeen pens, four pencils, one fine liner, one CD pen and two board markers.
  • Large set of work keys.
  • Three tube tickets and four train tickets.
  • Box for antibiotics.
  • Otravine nasal spray.
  • London Tube map.
  • Pandora charm receipt.
  • Work badge.
  • Two packets of chewing gum.
  • Raffle tickets.
  • A thank you card from my colleagues son.
  • Tickets for ‘Frozen’ at the cinema.
  • Tickets for ‘Rock of Ages’ in London.
  • Tickets for London Zoo.
  • Hairdresser appointment card.
  • An iPhone charger cable.
  • Four safety pins.
  • Spare keys for locker.
  • McDonalds competition stickers.
  • Bag from Laduree – macarons.
  • Cigarette lighter.
  • Three wage slips, two of them unopened.
  • A small badge from a Christmas card.
  • Three hair elastics.
  • £1.42 in Sterling, a €2 coin and an American quarter. I’ve haven’t been to America since 2010 or Europe since 2012…

Just how much stuff does one person need – no wonder I can’t find anything? I think downsizing is in order!

What about you guys? What sort of rubbish do you hoard?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

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Easter Apologies and New Developments

mkalty.org

mkalty.org

I am crap.

I’ve become so behind with the blog housekeeping that I am now finding it difficult to keep up. Over the last few weeks I have received so many comments that I haven’t replied to and I wanted to take the opportunity to apologise. I’m really sorry. I read and appreciate every single one of them, and I wanted to say that I’m grateful for all the time that everyone has taken to support me and this little blog. I’m going to do my best to catch up…

There’s a few things that I wanted to share with you.

I started a Facebook page for my blog. I was going to delete it after the fiasco last week, but then I decided to not only keep it, but promote it as much as I can. I would love it if you would pay my page a visit, give it a cheeky ‘like’ and share it with your friends!

http://www.facebook.com/Suzie81Speaks

I am also gaining a Twitter following: @suzie81blog and I would love to see you there too!

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Finally, and I’m actually quite excited about this, I am going to start my own weekly challenge. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, I wasn’t sure if anybody would take part, but I decided over the weekend that it’s now or never! It will be an open challenge for everybody to take part in and will be published every Sunday at 7.00pm GMT. However, for this week I am going to post it later today, and I would absolutely love it if you would not only participate, but invite your friends too! The subject will be a single theme in which you can respond to in any way that you like – music, poetry, thoughts, photography – the more the merrier! I will also create a badge that you can add to your blog if you wish.

Happy Blogging!

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