The Challenges of Being an Extroverted Introvert

The Challenges of Being an Extroverted Introvert

I’ve touched on the notion of having an extroverted introvert temperament in previous posts, but I’ve become more aware of the traits associated with this over the last few years.

Stereotypically, introverts prefer calmer environments, find socialising particularly draining and often need time alone to recharge and regain their energy. Introverts are often self aware and learn through the observation of others. Extroverts, on the other hand, often try to seek social stimulation and engagement with others and are characteristically talkative, assertive and excitable. They are excellent communicators within larger groups and enjoy being the centre of attention.

Of course, both are extremes and many people fall somewhere between the two categories. Extroverted introverts, or ambiverts, can generally be found within the middle of the spectrum, but with so many contradictory personality and social traits it’s a rather confusing place to be for both the individual and their friends.
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An Introvert in an Extrovert’s Body?

introvertsIs it wrong to be feeling this terrified?

I sent a Facebook private message to my friend Tom yesterday. After several months of planning, scheduling and then rescheduling, he and his writer co-host Gemma were interviewing me about blogging and books in the local library for their podcast on ThankBookFor.com.

Thinking about it, there shouldn’t have been any reason for my nerves – I’ve known Tom for years and I met Gemma recently when she appeared on the panel at a Waterstones publishing event, so I knew that I would be in good company. I’ve been writing for several years and I have enough knowledge where I feel confident enough to hold my own, and it would be the first time where I would get the opportunity to discuss the topic I am steadfastly passionate about without having to worry about the glazed expressions appearing in the eyes of the people I am talking to. Continue reading

On Being Vanilla

 

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In the world of ice-cream, my friend is definitely Rocky Road with extra sauce and sprinkles. She’s striking. When she walks into a room, people don’t just notice, they stop what they are doing to stare, and some will even get up and walk over in an effort to speak to her.

The thing is, there isn’t anything specific about my friend that makes her stand out. She’s pretty, but couldn’t anywhere near be classed as model quality, she doesn’t go overboard with her clothes and make-up, she’s intelligent, but not a genius, she’s classy and well-spoken. She possesses that ‘something’ – that special X Factor quality that separates her from the pack. Even more frustratingly, she’s genuinely a very nice person and has no idea about the power that she holds. Her life, to me, seems exciting – she likes to travel and experience new things and isn’t scared of taking risks. She’s a natural leader without being bossy or rude.

I have always been, and always will be, vanilla. This isn’t said in an attempt to hunt for false compliments, it is simply fact – at the age of 33 I have had plenty of time to realise my own strengths and weaknesses. In a group of people I have never been the one to stand out from the crowd – I am that person that merges into the background, the one that blends in. I am not the risk taker – I’ve always been more of a follower than a leader.

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Vanilla is used as a derogatory term to describe someone, or their lifestyle as unexciting and conventional. Boring. I used to feel that being thought of as vanilla was a negative thing. Indeed, I used to feel a little short-changed when I was offered ice-cream and then handed vanilla. However, vanilla surprised me. I discovered that:

  • Vanilla is the second-most expensive spice after saffron.
  • It is thought to have calming effects and reduce anxiety and stress.
  • Vanilla is used throughout the baking and cosmetics industry and is often placed in certain foods to eliminate acidity.
  • Despite its labour – intensive growth and expense, vanilla remains a popular spice in the western world.
  • From the thousands of ice-cream flavours that exist, vanilla is still consistently voted as the favourite.

As I have aged, I have grown to like being vanilla. It may be a standard flavour, a basic flavour, but to me it is a dependable one that doesn’t change, and yet can be incredibly versatile at the same time in that it compliments the flavours around it. Vanilla doesn’t pretend to be anything else, it is what it is. I like my life and it’s vanilla existence.

And besides, this means that us vanilla girls get to add a cheeky topping occasionally!

What about you? What flavour of ice-cream are you?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to visit my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks