10 Lessons Learned in 2015

Posted on November 8, 2015 by suzie81speaks

Lessons learned in 2015

While 2015 is not yet over, one of the NaBloPoMo prompts from last week was all about lessons learned as a child. I, however, feel I have learned more in the last year than any other…

1. Life goals don’t mean anything if you aren’t prepared to work for them. Nothing usually just happens – a dream can only be fulfilled with hard-work, dedication, and often some level of sacrifice.

2. Taking the time to appreciate the little things is often more beneficial than looking at the big picture. While I’m lucky in that I have lots of things to look forward to in the future, I have learned this year to be more aware of a moment as I am living it. Hot bubble baths, cuddles with The Bloke and the cats, a great film, a well-written book or blog post, a beautiful meal, a funny conversation with a friend, a lovely view – they all add up to making an otherwise mediocre day far more special.

3. It is never usually possible to truly know and totally rely on anybody. In most instances, this is not a negative thing – everyone has their own lives and different priorities, and it is important to maintain one’s independence without putting expectations onto others. However, this year in particular I have learned not to rely on others being there, and not assume that I categorically know what someone else is really thinking and feeling. Continue reading →

Never Have I Ever…

Posted on October 26, 2015 by suzie81speaks

My favourite drinking game when I was a student was ‘Never Have I Ever,’ although we simply referred to it as ‘I Have Never’ instead. The concept is simple, involving a group of people sitting in a circle with alcoholic drinks or shots in front of them. The first player makes a statement starting with ‘never have I ever,’ and the participants who have done what the first player hasn’t take a drink. It often starts quite slowly, with the questions being rather tame, but often after a few rounds it descends into debauchery with rather disgusting statements being thrown around the table and the more promiscuous (or biggest liars) of the group get rather drunk very quickly.

I was in the pub a little while ago, and the table next to me were filled with students who were participating in their own version of the game. Believe me when I say that I learned things about them that I certainly wouldn’t ever wish to know about another human being. However, in my own little random world, I started to think of things that I honestly haven’t ever actually done, and thought it might be fun to play a little blogging ice-breaker game with you, particularly as I have gained a number of new readers recently.

Before my regular readers start freaking out, this is a family friendly blog, so these are all things that can be kept within the PG rating, I promise.

Never Have I Ever:

1. Watched Back to the Future. It may have been Back to the Future Day last week, being the exact date that Marty McFly went to in the film, but that still doesn’t mean that I have any interest in watching it.

2. Been to a rave.

3. Deliberately stolen from a store. I accidentally walked out once without paying for a CD years ago but went back. I could have got away with it too – no alarms had gone off and nobody had noticed.

4. Played Call of Duty

5. Eaten a S’More.

6. Changed a lightbulb.

7. Travelled in a limousine.

8. Ridden in a gondola.

9. Blogged when drunk.

10. Done a bungee jump.

11. Dressed up as a Jedi, gone to my local supermarket and ‘used the force’ to open the automatic doors. (Random and pointless, but I saw this suggestion on Facebook and loved the idea)

12. Been to a festival. I’m a musician who has never been to a festival.

13. Read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime.

14. Snorkelled, surfed or dived. I’m a good swimmer, but avoid going in the sea at all costs – I don’t like the idea of swimming around with things that could bite or sting, and sewage. Bleurgh.

15. Been skydiving.

16. Shot a gun. In fact, I’ve never even seen a real gun up close.

17. Drawn graffiti on a wall.

18. Skinny dipped. (Trust me, nobody needs to see that…)

19. Been fired from a job.

20. Got a tattoo. (I’d like one, but hate needles)

21. Taken Class A drugs.

22. Got a piercing that can’t be seen in the winter.

23. Deliberately eaten an insect.

24. Run from the police.

25. Toilet papered someone’s house. I have, however, toilet papered a person. Long story.

Here’s where you guys get to join in! How drunk would you be from responding to my questions? Have you got any Never Have I Evers to add?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks, my Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks and my Instagram page http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks.

A Snapshot of Me

Posted on October 6, 2015 by suzie81speaks

When I tell someone that I have a blog, it’s pretty much guaranteed that I am asked the same question every time:

What do you write about?

The problem is, I’ve never quite been able to think of a suitable response. I don’t have a niche – I prefer to write about whatever subject I choose whenever I feel inspired to do so – and this means that I have written travel, lifestyle, beauty and food posts without actually falling into any one of those categories.

So, what do I write about?

I realised that in a few days I will have been blogging for two-and-a-half years, amassing a collection of about five hundred posts (and deleting almost as many along the way). In an effort to try and figure out how to answer this question, I took a look through my archive, attempting to find some sort of commonality, but to no avail. It’s simply a collection of various musings – or as I like to refer to it: ‘random crap.’

However, I was reminded of a guest post that I had done for Hugh over at Hugh’s Views and News earlier in the year. I was experiencing a bad bout of Bloggers Block, and struggled to develop any form of idea of what to write about. Eventually, I decided to get together a group of thoughts from a whole selection of posts as an overview of what this little blog is and what I stand for, and as my little milestone approaches, I’d like to take the opportunity to share an updated version of it again.

This is what I write about. This is a snapshot of me, in just a single post.

1. The people with the best advice are usually the ones with the most problems.

2. You know when you’re a teacher when regardless of where you are – shopping, the cinema, in a restaurant, or worse still, at the beach on holiday – you’ll almost always hear ‘Hi Miss/Sir!’ and instantly know that a student is standing behind you. The event of this happening is far more likely when you’re wearing your scruffiest clothes and haven’t washed your hair.

3. The cliché phrases that I have often heard spouted by so many people over the years have never made any sense to me. I just nod and smile.

4. If you are undecided about two options, flip a coin. Your instinct will tell you which one you’re secretly hoping for when you feel happy or disappointed with the result.

5. These sentences didn’t exist in my vocabulary when I was at university:
I’ve just binge-watched the entire series on Netflix.
I’m going to put that on Facebook later.
I saw it on Breaking Bad.
I unfriended them the other day.
I’ve just rented it from iTunes.

6. If I were to write a ‘recipe of me,’ would it be wrong just to write ‘Bloke, cats, Mojito?’

7. No good apology will ever contain the word ‘but…’

8. Of your 99 problems, 86 of them will inevitably be completely made up nonsense and will result in unnecessary stress for no logical reason. These will undoubtedly surface at 3am when you have an important event at work that day.

9. Life is too short not to get drunk in a costume. I only wish I was still thin enough to fit into my She-Ra costume. That costume rocked.

10. Somebody found my blog recently by typing ‘marine send back soiled dirty feet.’ This troubles me.

11. Note to self: you may know all the dance moves to Beyoncé’s ‘Single Ladies.’ However, your version closely resembles a frog in a blender. Stop doing in on the dance floor – people are beginning to pity you.

12. We don’t owe anyone explanations. The act of explaining ourselves is often an attempt to justify our actions to another person, as if a decision needs validation. We don’t have to explain ourselves for the way we choose to live, who we choose to live with and the priorities that we have.

13. Can you refer to yourself as a ‘professional writer’ if you have never been paid for writing something?

14. When someone says that they will be there as soon as they can and currently are still waiting for a taxi, they often really mean that they still haven’t got dressed and can’t find their handbag.

15. I remember the Empire State Building, the piano and the bag. I remember the sand, the Ferris wheel and the graffiti. I remember the chess, the sore feet and the sunburn.

16. Before you are twenty-three, you should know how to look after yourself and keep you and your home clean, cook from scratch, be financially knowledgeable (even if you have very little money yourself), and appreciate your own company.

17. I dislike the idea of expectation. To expect something suggests a sense of entitlement, and this can often lead to disappointment.

18. It’s been over eighteen months, but I still miss my little friend.

19. Over the last thirty-three years, my mother hasn’t just had the job of parent and PA (the job she actually gets paid for). She has taken on the role of taxi driver, teacher, therapist, chef, cleaner, maid, waitress, hairdresser, tailor, party planner, nurse and personal ATM. How lucky I am.

20. Don’t base the quality of your interaction on the numbers another blogger has. I remember in my first few months of blogging I attempted to speak to someone on Twitter who had thousands of followers, and they shot me down as a little newbie pretty quickly. I’ve never forgotten that. I also know of several who will go out of their way to support the more popular bloggers, but are very ignorant of newer ones.

21. In my twenties I holidayed in 18-30 resorts with the sole purpose of drinking as much as possible. In my thirties I like to go ‘somewhere quiet’ where I can relax and take beautiful pictures of the scenery and architecture.

22. Surprise gestures make me happy. Lots of people I know dislike surprises, but I love them – I often receive little surprises from my nearest and dearest and they always make my day!

23. When travelling to Barcelona, work out in advance what it is that you really want to see, and where possible, book tickets online before you go as there are enormous queues and long waits for the main attractions. For example, we arrived at La Sagrada Familia early, but had to queue for about half an hour to buy a ticket and then waited a further three hours before we were allowed in as there were timed entrance spots. It may be also useful to take a guidebook and print off maps of the areas you wish to travel to in advance – we had to buy a map when we were there and soon discovered that it was poorly labelled and many of the sights were in the wrong place.

24. The weirdest thing that I find attractive in a person is the way they drive their car. Despite being in my thirties, I’ve never passed my driving test, so have always been in the passenger seat. I notice when someone drives in a relaxed (but safe) way, and I’ve always found that sexy.

25. The good has not outweighed the bad for a long time. Today, I took the risk…

What about you guys? What sort of category do you fall into?

Bloggers Behaving Badly

Posted on September 29, 2015 by suzie81speaks

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Last month I published a post about the idea of ‘Blog Envy,’ which discussed ways in which we naturally feel envious of other blogs, and bloggers. During the comments that followed it was suggested that I examine the opposite – content that could be considered to be poor. While it’s an interesting idea, it’s far too controversial for my liking – the beauty of the blogging world is that it is an open forum to discuss whatever subject the author chooses, and there is no right or wrong way to do so.

However, it did get me thinking about the bloggers behind the posts. While I’ve had predominantly hugely positive experiences with the community, the longer I spend in the blogosphere the more I notice behaviour that I would contribute to what is often referred to as ‘The Dark Side’ of blogging, and I’ve spent the last few weeks collating examples. Continue reading →

How To Shop When You Hate Shopping

Posted on September 26, 2015 by suzie81speaks

I had a day off yesterday, so took the opportunity to go to the opening of the new ‘Grand Central’ centre, complete with the new John Lewis store in Birmingham. I’ve watched it take shape over the last few years, and thought it might be a chance to get started on my Christmas shopping (yes, I know it’s September, but I’m using this particular ‘C’ word already…) ahead of the mania that sweeps the city every year.

The problem is, I hate shopping. Okay, to be fair I like buying presents for other people, but I hate actually going out to do so. I hate the crowds, in particular the people who seem oblivious to those around them, and over the years I’ve had lots of bad experiences that have involved rude staff, having my feet run over with pushchairs, long queues of people monotonously complaining about having to stand in line, and one particularly angry woman screaming at me to ‘get out of the way’ in her desperation to secure a box of biscuits from the shelf in Selfridges. Nice. They must have been fabulous biscuits.

Of course, the easiest and most effective way of purchasing items is to buy them from the Internet. However, many people I know are still wary of sharing their bank details online, and there are plenty of horror stories of people who have been scammed, had to wait for weeks for items to arrive or have experienced difficulties when trying to return or replace damaged goods. I use the Internet for specific items, but I often prefer to see a product, or in the case of clothes, try them on before I buy. Continue reading →

Eight Reasons Why I Write

Posted on September 15, 2015 by suzie81speaks

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I started this little blog about two-and-a-half years ago. I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I began with no expectations, initially using it as a therapeutic tool during quite a difficult time in my life. Since then, the act of writing seems to have taken on a far different role than I ever could have imagined. Of all the creative things that I have started in my thirty-three years, writing is one of the only things that I enjoy and I strive to improve in – I never get bored. Indeed, it hasn’t just improved my life, it’s changed it beyond all recognition.

My blog, like my life and mindset, does not have a particular niche. I like the freedom to be able to discuss lots of different ideas and thoughts and I’ve always avoided remaining on the same topic for too long. I don’t consider myself to be a fictional writer and find it very difficult to create characters and stories (my greatest attempt to do this resulted in a long, drawn out story of a lonely squirrel that I created when I was eleven years old for a school assignment – it was just as boring to write it as it was for others to read it). Instead, I write about things that entertain me, news stories, experiences and adventures within my own life: things that I can relate to and interest me. The lengths of my posts always vary – sometimes, I will write a 2,000 word essay on a major news event, others I will simply post a photograph of something that is important to me, and similarly the response that I receive varies in return.

So why do I write?

1. I love the process of creating a post – thinking, researching, experimenting, creating, editing, publishing, re-editing, interacting and promoting – and I’ve been extremely lucky to meet lots of inspiring people along the way. I often get a sense of gratification from pressing the ‘publish’ button and reading the comments that are left in response.

2. The urge to share. Essentially, writing on a blog invites others into your world. It provides a small window into your life – who you are, what you stand for, your interests and your passions. Through the blogging world I have been introduced to all sorts of topics that I had very little knowledge of, I have shared fellow bloggers ups and downs, seen their families, their traditions, their homes. I’ve learnt about their favourite things in life, books, films, food, music, and have shared my own.

3. Writing is therapeutic. It helps me to work out my problems and concerns, organises my thoughts and allows me to vent any frustrations that I may be having without having to burden those around me. The pen, or in this case, the keypad, is indeed mightier than the sword.

4. In life, I am not a leader. In groups I am often talked over and interrupted by more dominant people, and I am not one who will openly voice opinions on a subject that interests me for fear of being perceived as dull. However, a blank page on my computer screen offers me a million possibilities without fear of interruption, boredom or a change of subject. It gives me a voice.

5. I like the fact that others appear to enjoy what I write. It’s a purely egotistical thing, particularly as I initially didn’t expect anyone to read it. To receive a positive comment almost provides a sense of validation that we don’t often receive as adults.

6. Writing helps me realise that I am not alone. The world can be a lonely and confusing place sometimes – the trials and tribulations that complicate all aspects of life can leave us feeling. Writing, and the interaction that follows has taught me that there are thousands of others that have had similar thoughts and experiences.

7. A legacy? While I don’t feel that my life is in the least bit inspirational, there is still the idea of leaving something behind after I’m gone that appeals to me. Life is short, it could end tomorrow, and if this is what is left behind, then this little blog is proof of my existence.

8. Ultimately, it allows me to reflect on the journey I have travelled and the progress I have made. When I feel negative thoughts creeping in, I revisit my early posts to appreciate how much better things are now and how lucky I am. It’s evidence that I’m going in the right direction.

What about you guys? Why do you write?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to like check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks, my Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks and my Instagram page http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks

Me, Myself and I #6

Posted on August 23, 2015 by suzie81speaks

As a further opportunity to share a little about yourself and find out about your fellow bloggers, here is the sixth installment of ‘Me, Myself and I,’ a weekly collaboration I have started with the lovely Sare over at Diary of a Teachaholic. For further information about the link up, simply click here.

It’s Sare’s turn to ask the questions this week… Continue reading →

Blog Envy

Posted on August 18, 2015 by suzie81speaks

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It’s inevitable that, after a period of time in the blogging world, many will suffer from this at some point.

I’m one of them.

Comparison forms a part of daily life and is a perfectly natural response, despite how unhealthy it can be for one’s self-confidence. While I have made huge strides in developing a life that I am happy with, I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve envied a friend’s beautiful house, or how fantastic they look in an item of clothing. I’ve been secretly jealous of someone’s naturally sparkly personality, or a talent that they have, or even how exciting and interesting their lives seem to be. Continue reading →

Life is a Blog Post Waiting to be Written…

Posted on August 11, 2015 by suzie81speaks

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I’m often asked where I get ideas for my posts, and my answer is always the same: anything and everything. Blogging, for me at least, has always been therapeutic. For the first six months, the majority of my posts were focused on spewing out the toxic thoughts that had plagued my mind for a long time, and I was a woman on a mission. However, as my community and readership grew (and an almost blogging addiction started to take hold), I began to branch out and focus on different topics and themes. Now, nearly two-and-a-half years later, almost everything that I do generates potential ideas. It doesn’t prevent me from enjoying an adventure while it is happening, but I will consciously take photographs and write down notes as I am going along for future use.

I’m undecided as to whether this is unhealthy or not, but I have found the process to be incredibly useful when I suffer from the dreaded bloggers block.

The way I approach the act of writing is very different to many others. I have no specific plans, no timetables, no schedules, instead choosing to sit down to create something when the I feel the urge to do so. Saying this, I don’t have the responsibilities of family, and I’m currently taking a little time out from full time work, so it is easy to work in this manner. Suzie Speaks doesn’t have a niche, so posts are influenced by the places I visit, the thoughts I have, the people I speak to, the food I eat and posts that other bloggers have written.

For those of you who have struggled with ideas recently, here are some I have found in my notes section from the last few months.

The Story Behind the Photograph.

My Very First Job.

I Knew It Was Love When…

When Me Becomes We.

Conversations I’m Bored of Having.

What I’ve Learned in 2015.

The Realisation that Familiarity Doesn’t Make a Friendship.

The Power of F*ck You.

Unspoken Rules.

The Importance of Time.

The Worst Chat Up Lines I’ve Ever Received.

Four Things About Me.

My Recipe for the Perfect Day.

And if those ideas don’t particularly appeal to you? Where are you? Could you take a quick photograph? Who are you with? What is your history with them? What do they mean to you? Have you got a funny story about them to share? What are you eating? What’s your favourite meal you have eaten this week? Have you watched a film or read a book that inspired you recently? Did you have an interesting conversation with someone that made you think?

Get out there and take inspiration from your life as you live it, for every experience is a blog post just waiting to be written.

What about you guys? Where do you take your blogging inspiration from?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks, my Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks and my Instagram page http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks

Image Credit: Deb Fletcher

How to Create a Successful About Page

Posted on August 3, 2015 by suzie81speaks

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About page

When I discover a blog for the first time, it’s rare that I will look at the posts on the home page. Instead, I will usually click straight onto the About page, as this will hopefully tell me about the author and the general theme of the blog itself. If I’m pressed for time, I’ll often make a quick decision based upon what I see there as to whether I wish to delve further. They are also a place where I will go if I want to ask a blogger a question that isn’t related to any of their posts.

Today I noticed that a number of people had clicked on my About page and came to the realisation that it is in need of some serious updating, particularly as the rest of my blog has undergone a huge transformation recently, and I have gained a number of new followers.

In order for me to do this, I had to think about what to include, and with the process came a whole list of ideas of things that I look for when snooping around other peoples efforts. So, before I update my own, I thought I would add to my ‘Blogging Advice’ series and discuss tips for creating a great About page… Continue reading →