Excuses, Excuses

Posted on December 2, 2014 by suzie81speaks

Every registration in a morning is the same process: register students, check uniform, check stationery, give announcements, ask individuals to stay behind if they’ve got it wrong. I like to speak to them individually as it’s impossible to predict whether something bad has happened outside school, so it provides students to opportunity to talk without their peers being present. I like my tutor group and I have a good relationship with them so I find that we can talk to each other easily, but I do often have the same conversations and say the same things every single day to students:

“Why are you late?”

“Why don’t you have a pen?”

“Where’s your tie?”

“Why did you get a detention for…”

I’m also frustrated at hearing the same excuses every day:

“I woke up late”

“I forgot my PE kit so I had to go home and get it”

“I went to the toilet”

“I lost my bag”

The excuses are never original, the only difference being that it is a different child daily that gives them and after hearing them repeatedly for years I feel like I should be in the ‘Groundhog Day.’ These conversations are always followed by sanctions and phone calls home.

However, occasionally something will snap me awake and make me smile:

A few weeks before ago one of my tutor group was late. She’s twelve and I had seen her walking into school about thirty minutes before school started, so I already knew that her lateness was caused by her messing around on the yard with her friends. I decided to take a different approach with her. This was how the conversation genuinely went:

Me: Why are you late?

Child: (Thought for a bit) I had to take my little sister to school.

Me: Oh, I didn’t know you had a little sister. How old is she?

Child: Six.

Me: What school is she at?

Child: (named a school that is miles away).

Me: So if I were to go and ring your mother now she’d back you up?

Child: No, I’ve just remembered, I didn’t take my sister to school.

Me: Why did you tell me you did?

Child: I had a dream that I took my sister to school. I was confused.

Me: So you’re late because you had a dream you took your sister to school?

Child: Yes, I mean, no.

Me: So why were you late?

Child: I was on the yard and didn’t hear the whistle.

Me: Why didn’t you say that in the first place?

Child: (shrugs shoulders) dunno.

Most original and yet pointless excuse ever. Perhaps I should have showed her this quote:

“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” ― George Washington

What about you guys? What’s the best lie you’ve ever been told by a child?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

#SundayBlogShare

Posted on November 1, 2014 by suzie81speaks

It’s Sunday tomorrow, and that means only one thing: my #SundayBlogShare Twitter party!

I participate in several parties throughout the week – #MondayBlogs, #WWWBlogs and #ArchiveDay, and decided to start my own each Sunday to give the blogging community another chance to share their posts and meet other people.

It has turned out to be a much bigger success than even I expected – with the first two weeks hundreds of people have participated, sharing over a thousand posts and I’ve received lots of messages from bloggers who saw a increase in traffic and followers. A huge part of this was due to the promotion given by the wonderfully supportive WordPress community that I am part of particularly Gene’O @sourcererblog and Austin @Austin_Hodgens, to name a few.

The instructions for #SundayBlogShare are simple:

Tweet a link to a post from your blog.

Include the hashtag #SundayBlogShare.

Enjoy! Retweet posts from other bloggers, comment and follow! You don’t have to follow Suzie81 Speaks or it’s associated social media profiles.

To make it a positive experience, here are some simple rules for everyone to follow.

1. #SundayBlogShare is a happy place. Racist, homophobic and/or sexist comment are not allowed. If you disagree with the content of a post, do so in a polite and respectful manner.

2. No pornography.

3. You are welcome to share more than one post. However, don’t use is as an opportunity to spam by posting everything that you’ve ever written.

4. Only share blog links – while I enjoy inspirational quotes, #SundayBlogShare is not the place to post them.

5. Don’t beg for follows or retweets, but feel free to retweet others!

Looking forward to seeing you all there tomorrow! Feel free to reblog this post and invite all your friends!

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and you can also find my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

Twitter Party: #SundayBlogShare

Posted on October 26, 2014 by suzie81speaks

If you’re in the blogosphere today I will be hosting the second of my #SundayBlogShare Twitter parties – it was a huge success last week and I’ve been receiving lovely messages all week from bloggers who shared their posts and met new people. It’s a simple process – post one of your recent links to Twitter using the hashtag #SundayBlogShare and enjoy! If you include my Twitter handle (@suzie81blog) in your post I can retweet it for you too! Your posts can cover any topic, you don’t have to follow my blog or any associated social media accounts and there isn’t a limit on the number of times you can post. I will remind everyone again on Sunday but here are a few rules for everyone who wishes to participate.

1. #SundayBlogShare is a happy place. Racist, sexist and homophobic propaganda will not be tolerated, and if you disagree with the content of a post it should be done in a polite and respectful manner.

2. Blog posts only.

3. No pornographic images are allowed.

4. Do not use it as an opportunity to demand follows and retweets from others, but feel free to retweet posts that you like.

It will start from Sunday morning and will end at midnight. I’m in the UK, so you will need to work out times for whichever country you live in. This may mean that some of you may be participating on Saturday, but please use the same hashtag…

Looking forward to seeing you there!

You can find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

Happy Friday!

Posted on October 24, 2014 by suzie81speaks

Today is a good day. It’s Friday, it’s The Bloke’s birthday, it’s the last day of the half-term and it’s a training day, which means that I haven’t had to plan any lessons and instead get all my evidence together for my performance management review. The Bloke has taken next week off, we get paid next week too so I’m looking forward to a few days of spending some time with him, catching up on my blogging endeavours and meeting up with some friends and family. It’s been a long half-term, I’m tired, my students are tired and we have just reached the point where we need a break from each other.

If you’re in the blogosphere on Sunday I will be hosting the second of my #SundayBlogShare Twitter parties – it was a huge success last week and I’ve been receiving lovely messages all week from bloggers who shared their posts and met new people. It’s a simple process – post one of your recent links to Twitter using the hashtag #SundayBlogShare and enjoy! If you include my Twitter handle (@suzie81blog) in your post I can retweet it for you too! You don’t have to follow my blog or any associated social media accounts and there isn’t a limit on the number of times you can post. The subject of your posts is entirely up to you. I will remind everyone again on Sunday but here are a few rules for everyone who wishes to participate.

2. Blog posts only.

3. No pornographic images are allowed.

4. Do not use it as an opportunity to demand follows and retweets from others, but feel free to retweet posts that you like.

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Happy Friday!

You can find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

Twitter Party: #SundayBlogShare

Posted on October 19, 2014 by suzie81speaks

It took me a long time to add social media accounts to my blog and it has always been one of my biggest blogging regrets that I didn’t start sooner, as they are now responsible for about 75% of my overall traffic. Twitter, in particular, is a great way to share my posts and ideas immediately, and there is the possibility that posts could reach thousands if promoted by enough people.

I’ve decided to do a Twitter party in which all bloggers can share their posts and meet new people. It is going to be going on all day so feel free to join in at any time. Here is what you do:

1. Choose one of your favourite recent blog posts.

2. Share the link.

3. Use the hashtag #SundayBlogShare

Enjoy!

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog.

Reflections of Summer: My Favourite Posts

Posted on August 29, 2014 by suzie81speaks

It’s almost the end of the UK summer and in a few days I will be back at work, ready for the start of a new academic year. The last few weeks have been the quickest I have known for a long time, and while I have spent a large amount of time doing school – based activities I have been able to relax and catch up with friends, films and some much needed sleep.

I have blogged on a daily basis, my posts reflecting my mood and ideas that I have thought of during my adventures. I still have a number of posts to finish off, which I intend to do this weekend, but I thought it would be a nice idea to share with you my favourite and most successful ones of the last six weeks for those who may have had a blogging break and missed them. Rather than reblogging each one, I have collated the all into one post. To view them, simply click on the images below.

Revisiting My Youth

A Tale of a Sociopath

The Teachings of Ralph Wiggum

Would You Like Fries With That?

There is Always a Light

29 Things Television Has Taught Me

A Children’s TV Presesnter?

12 Reasons Wy I am Rubbish at Being English

I Am White

Let’s Talk About Blogging Numbers

Pearls of Wisdom From a Thirty-Something Man

The WordPress Community Experiment

12 Things Men Should Know About Women

I Remember

Things People Say…

If We Were Having Coffee

Blog Envy and Trolls

If I Knew Then: What I’ve Learned About Blogging

10 Things I Love About My Country: Music

Why I Don’t Believe in Soulmates

What about you guys? Which of these has been your favourite post of the summer?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

How To Survive Your NQT Year

Posted on August 27, 2014 by suzie81speaks

It’s the end of summer and in a few days time I will be sitting in the school theatre, surrounded by my colleagues. Among them will be faces that I’m not familiar with, sitting awkwardly in their new departments, making polite conversation about their summer adventures and desperately trying to hide the fact that they are terrified.

These people are the Newly Qualified Teachers. They’ve successfully completed their training year, whether it be a PGCE, GTP or equivalent, and they are now likely to be in a role of responsibility for the first time. Continue reading →

A Children’s TV Presenter: A Compliment?

Posted on August 26, 2014 by suzie81speaks

“Being in a relationship with you is like going out with a children’s TV presenter.”

The Bloke once said this to me in passing in the early stages of our relationship, and of all the ways I have been described by others over the years, this was by far the most unique. When I asked for an explanation, he couldn’t give me a detailed answer, just that I reminded him of one.

Editors note: For those of you under the age of thirty and living outside of the UK, the remainder of this post is going to make little sense.

I’ve pondered the meaning of this statement for years. I don’t have children and haven’t watched children’s television for years, so as part of my research I turned to the CBBC channel for help.

What I discovered was horrifying. On the screen was a woman with a face that had been contorted into a ridiculous smile, wittering utter rubbish about flowers and donkeys whilst wearing a waterproof in such bright colours that I had to repress the urge to put my sunglasses on. To add insult to injury, I was then patronised by the same woman who showed me her bathing suit and a towel and asked me to guess where she was going.

And then, I was introduced to Mr Tumble. Oh dear lord, Mr Tumble. The only explanation for Mr Tumble is that the must have been large amounts of LSD involved in his creation. While his alter ego, Justin, seemed to actually be a nice enough bloke, if a bit extreme, Mr Tumble made me want to jump into the screen and punch him repeatedly in the face.

Is that the way The Bloke saw me? Loud? Overly enthusiastic about everything? Talking in rhyme and in a voice like a bingo announcer? Saying ‘hahaaaa!’ at everything?

In my day (here is where I make myself feel really old), there were only two presenters that cut the mustard. Phillip Scofield and Andi Peters. Both presented their shows from ‘The Broom Cupboard,’ a tiny room where the walls were adorned with paintings and pictures that had been sent in by the viewers, and both had brilliant sidekicks – Phillip had Gordon the Gopher, and Andi had Edd the Duck. They were witty, hilarious and warm in their presenting skills (which is probably the reason why they are both highly successful and respected TV presenters and producers today), and they had guests! They weren’t patronising, they didn’t ask stupid questions, they gave us information and spoke to us as human beings. I had a huge crush on Phillip – it must have been the knitted sweaters…

The question remains, which sort of children’s TV presenter am I? The patronising, overly enthusiastic one with a eccentric fashion sense, or the witty, charming and informative one.

I like to think it is the latter…

What about you? What is the best description of yourself you have ever received?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

25 More Thoughts for the Day

Posted on July 12, 2014 by suzie81speaks

A few weeks ago I created a post entitled ’25 Thoughts For the Day,’ which essentially was a collection of 25 phrases that I had collected from various memes and inspirational posters around the Internet. It was received quite well, and in a few of the comments that were given there was a request to do another. Unfortunately, sequels are invariably nowhere near the standard of the original, but I thought I would honour the requests and create a further list…

1. Don’t regret the things you did. Regret the things you didn’t do when you had the chance.

2. Life is too short to remove the USB safely.

3. Build your own dreams, or somebody else will hire you to build theirs.

4. With great power comes a great electricity bill.

5. You never realise how boring your life is until someone asks you what you do for fun.

6. Help a man when he is in trouble, and he’ll remember you when he is trouble again.

7. The best things in life are free. The second best things are very expensive.

8. A jealous person does better detective work than the FBI.

9. Having one child makes you a parent. Having two makes you a referee.

10. Unless life also hands you water, your lemonade is going to suck.

11. You can’t breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

12. You’ve just tried it, realised that you can breathe through your nose with your tongue out, but doing so makes you closely resemble a panting dog.

13. A whale swims all day, eats fish and is fat. A tortoise barely moves and can live for hundreds of years. Exercise fanatics: think on…

14. The chance of you dying on the way to buy your lottery ticket is greater than your chance of winning.

15. When nothing goes left… Go right.

16. Life is like a party. You invite lots of people – some will arrive on time, bring their own drinks and food, some will stay up all night, some will laugh at you, some will laugh with you, some will arrive really late. When the fun is over, some will help you clean up the mess, even though it wasn’t theirs.

17. Never trust a computer that you can’t throw out of a window.

18. Forgive your enemy… But never forget their name.

19. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.

20. Do not let success go to your head, and failure go to your heart.

21. There are often three sides to a story. Yours, theirs and the truth.

22. If everyone is completely happy with you in life, you may have made many compromises. If you are happy with everyone, it is likely that you have ignored the many faults of others.

23. Life is like a bath – the longer you’re in it, the more wrinkled you are going to get.

24. If you love something set it free… Unless its a tiger.

25. And finally, this:

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog

My Favourites

Posted on June 16, 2014 by suzie81speaks

I’ve been blogging for just over a year now, and in that time I’ve managed to produce hundreds of posts. I spent some of yesterday revisiting these, editing and deleting them, and I thought that it might be a nice idea to compile some of my favourites to share with you again, in case you may have missed them. Simply click the image for the link: