Tag Archives: thanks

Regrets I Have in My 30’s

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imageI remember my eighteenth birthday like it was yesterday. Technically, I suppose it should be ‘birthdays’ – it lasted for about a week as I had four or five celebrations with different people… my poor liver wasn’t happy for some time after that.

Back then, my world was a very different place. I was in my final part of my A Levels, and after twelve years of education I’d had enough, and knew that I was taking a gap year before applying to music colleges to study the violin. I lived at home with my parents and sisters, I was working in a cinema while I was studying, with plans to apply for a job at a local nightclub that had recently opened, and I had spent my holidays doing tours with the International Youth Philharmonic and the European Vacation Chamber Orchestra. I had plans. I was settled. Life was easy… Continue reading →

An Awesome Day…

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imageToday has been wonderful. Really wonderful.

I wouldn’t say that there was anything particularly special that happened as such. I went for a run with my friend in the rain, which was the longest distance I had gone in a while, I organised some clothes and washed a pile a laundry, I treated myself to a few new tops for Barcelona in Sept as I have been paid, I replied to lovely comments on the blog and I read some posts. The Bloke and I have watched television for the last few hours, and he has now gone to bed as he has got to be up early in the morning for work. Continue reading →

25 Thoughts for the Day

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imageDuring my many travels around the internet I always stumble across things that make me laugh, cry and think. While some roll their eyes at the mere mention of inspirational quotes and thoughts, I like to compile groups of them and save them on my phone as a tool to get me through the day. Here are some of my favourites…

1. A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

2. School teaches lessons and then gives us a test. Life gives us a test and then we learn the lessons from it.

3. Life was much simpler when Apple, Blackberry and Raspberry were just fruit.

4. There is always an element of truth behind ‘just kidding.’

5. There is always knowledge behind ‘I don’t know.’

6. There is always emotion behind ‘I don’t care.’

7. There is always pain behind ‘It’s okay.’

8. You can’t buy love, but there are times where you may pay heavily for it.

9. Money can’t buy happiness, but it is far more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

10. Alcohol does not solve problems, but neither does milk.

11. We buy things that we don’t need, with money that we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.

12. If you tell the truth, you never have to remember a lie.

13. If there are no ups and down in life, it means you’re dead.

14. The people with the best advice to give are usually the ones with the most problems.

15. Teenagers have the time and energy but not the money. Adults have the money and energy but not the time. Pensioners have the money and time but not the energy.

16. You can’t say M without your lips touching.

17. You’re now trying to say M without your lips touching.

18. The things that you don’t learn are the most likely things to be in the exam.

19. If undecided about two options, flip a coin. Your instinct will tell you which one you’re secretly hoping for when you feel happy or disappointed with the result.

20. The hardest thing and the right thing are often the same thing.

21. Closed minds are not often accompanied by closed mouths.

22. Fake plants will die if you don’t pretend to water them.

23. You are more likely to wake up at 6.00am on your days off.

24. The little toe is the perfect device for finding the edges of furniture in a darkened room.

25. This will cause a discussion as to whether it is ‘ironic’ or not. It isn’t.

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What about you? Any inspirational quotes you would like to add?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks and my new Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks

 

Things Teachers Want Parents To Know

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imageThe other day, I attended Parents Evening for a cohort of my students. After nearly ten years and about seventy similar events, I realised that this was my last ever set of parental meetings. It was quite an unusual revelation. Of the thousands of conversations that I have had with parents over the years, there are things that, from a teacher perspective, I and many of my friends and colleagues want them to know.

1. I genuinely care about your child and their well-being. I believe that your child has the potential to become a well-rounded, successful human being and I work hard to help them in their journey.

2. Teacher training days are important and aren’t there for the purpose of inconveniencing you. Most professions require training and professional development on a regular basis and we have them to develop our ability to support our youngsters in every aspect of their lives.

3. Your child isn’t stupid. Even at the age of thirty-three, I still struggle with maths. If you asked me to sprint 100 metres it would probably take me longer than most. My attempts at drawing and sketching real life would make Picasso look like an amateur. None of these make me stupid, I just have talents in other areas. Your child has their own strengths and weaknesses and telling them that they aren’t clever or good at something could possibly result in self-confidence issues that may affect them on a long-term basis. Levels aren’t always everything – if your child works hard and does their absolute best, I can’t ask any more from them.

4. Discipline and manners begins at home. I shouldn’t have to explain to a sixteen year-old why rolling their eyes, tutting, huffing and snapping ‘what?!’ at me is not an appropriate response when I call their name in a lesson, or remind them to use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ during their interactions with myself and their peers.

5. Correcting your child when they make a mistake doesn’t mean I dislike them or am ‘picking on them.’ If a child makes a mistake in a lesson, I will speak to them about it and give them the opportunity to change their behaviour. If I have to speak to them more than once, I will issue an appropriate sanction that is consistent for every student I teach. You may believe that your child is an angel, but telling them that they don’t have to do a detention I have set and that I am clearly being biased is teaching them that their behaviour is acceptable.

6. Allowing your child to play on their XBox until 1.00am does not help me. When I’m tired, I lose concentration and motivation and I’m far more irritable than usual, even as an adult. An eleven year-old who has had five or six hours of sleep may as well not be in school – by lunch they have switched off completely.

7. My job is to facilitate learning, not to actually do the work for them. Your child is not finding the work too difficult, they’re simply lazy. I set differentiated tasks in each lesson to accommodate the needs of the entire class and I try and challenge each individual as much as possible. I set weekly coursework catch-up sessions, detentions, I ring home, send emails, I even remind students of impending deadlines as I’m passing them in the corridors. If your child doesn’t complete their coursework to the standard that they are capable of, it is because they haven’t put the work in, not because I am a bad teacher.

8. I am not perfect and I make mistakes. Move on. I treat each new teaching day as a fresh start and if a child has had a bad day we start again with a clean slate in the next lesson. Reminding me of the time I upset your now sixteen year-old when they were twelve is not relevant or productive to their education.

9. Your child is not being bullied, they are a troublemaker. This is perhaps the most difficult element of the profession that I have dealt with in my conversations with parents. I experienced years of bullying when I was at school, and as a teacher it is something that I will absolutely not tolerate. However, I have been in many situations where a child has deliberately gone out of their way to cause trouble amongst their friends because they like to create an element of drama in their lives and have then accused others of bullying them when they have retaliated. Of course, any parent will want to protect their child if they feel they are being threatened and I will always do my best to resolve any conflicts amongst students regardless of the circumstances. However, yelling at me without listening to the whole story first is not going to teach your child that deliberately causing trouble will have consequences.

10. I want us to be a team and I appreciate your support. My job is made much easier with the knowledge that I can share your child’s achievements or my concerns without fear of judgement or blame being placed in my direction. Thank you.

What about you? Is there anything that you’ve always wanted to say in your profession, but can’t?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks and Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks

 

Mother’s Day: Things To Say To Someone You Love Today

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It’s Mother’s Day in lots of countries today and my reader is filled with bloggers stories and poems dedicated to one of the most important in people in their lives. While we celebrate Mother’s Day in March here in the UK, I am lucky to have been blessed with the best mother in the world…

Others aren’t as lucky. A tear is always brought to my eye with the heartfelt memories of loss, of grief, anger, and from those who would give anything to have more time, even if it just for a minute. Combined with the loss that my friend suffered recently and the untimely passing of Grayson Queen, they serve as a reminder of just how short life is and the missed opportunities to tell the important people in our lives just how much they mean to us.

Here are things I am going to be saying to the people I care about today…

1. Thank you. It’s amazing how often that these little words are forgotten. Take the time to thank somebody who has gone that extra mile to support you.

2. The fact that you like having them in your life and that you enjoy spending time with them. It’s taken for granted that we spend time with the people (usually) who we enjoy being around and who makes us happy, but have you actually ever said this to them?

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3. What you appreciate about them. My mother, The Bloke and my friends are funny, intelligent and talented people. They listen to me. When I’ve had a bad day, my friend V meets me in the pub, buys me a drink and let’s me rant. M invites me round to her house for dinner and regularly listens to stories of my blogging exploits. When I was in the hospital, C and M visited me. When my cat Wobbly died, G brought round cupcakes to my house. They buy me flowers, send me messages of support, make me laugh, entertain me and invite me out to places so we can spend time together.

4. That you find them attractive. This is something that would probably be best saying to your partner – I think my mother and friends would be concerned if I suddenly said this to them. However, a compliment on how they look and what they’re wearing would potentially make somebody’s day.

5. My best memories involve you. The ‘do you remember when…?’ conversations are always good for strengthening a relationship. Reminiscing about hilarious past experiences never fails to remind us of why we have the friendship in the first place.

6. That you support them. They may already know this, but it wouldn’t hurt to let them know that you’re there.

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7. That you love them. There are different kinds of love that are reserved for different people, but take the time to let them know (where possible – verbalising love for somebody may be taken in the wrong context in some situations).

What about you guys? Is there a special person you are grateful for?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks.

 

A Blogging Hangover

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imageWow.

Yesterday I hosted a blog party to celebrate my two year anniversary. I had been looking forward to it all week, and had put some time into promoting it across the blog and my social media accounts. With the response that I had received from eager bloggers wanting to participate, I expected it to be quite busy.

However, I didn’t expect it to be THAT busy. Over the space of about fifteen hours there were hundreds of links shared from bloggers all over the world, I had received over 600 comments, 2000 views and lots of people embraced it wholeheartedly, following, commenting and sharing each others posts. It was fabulous, and I’d like to say a massive thank you to everybody who took part!

I fell asleep with square eyes and a mild headache after staring at my phone and iPad screen for so long. I had to charge both of them up overnight as the batteries had been exhausted. When I awoke, I excitedly checked the page, to discover that the party had been continuing in my absence, and I had a whole new set of comments and links to go through. I have a blogging hangover.

It’s been said that the best cure for a hangover is to have another drink – ‘hair of the dog’ so to speak – so today I’m going to do just that! My Twitter party, #SundayBlogShare is in full swing already and I’m looking forward to jumping back in there and reading lots of posts, as well as working my way through the wonderful links that were shared on here yesterday.

Want to carry on sharing with me?

I am going to leave the blog party open, so that anyone can join in anytime they like. If you wish to share a post on the blog party, click on the image below:

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Want to share your posts with the hundreds of people participating in #SundayBlogShare? Click on the image below for the rules and then get your tweet on!

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Don’t forget that there are also six very interesting and exciting blogs in my sidebar – give them a click and I’m sure you won’t be disappointed!

You can find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog, and feel free to visit my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks and give me a cheeky like!

 

Two Years? Happy Blogiversary To Me!

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imageToday is my two year blogiversary. Two years. While I follow blogs that have been around five times longer, I can’t believe how quickly the time has flown.

Two years ago, I was in a very different place. The Bloke and I were going through some difficult times – he had lost his father and his best friend within a year, we were experiencing major problems with our neighbours and I was finding my job extremely difficult. I was suffering from anxiety and depressed. Writing has always been therapeutic, and The Bloke suggested that I start a blog as a way of being able to exorcise the demons that plagued my thoughts on a regular basis.

It turned out to be the best decision I have ever made. I was instantly addicted – spending hour after hour pouring out everything I could think of into this little space of the the Internet. Within the first few weeks I had written about fifty posts.

Over the last two years, life has continued to be a rollercoaster of highs and lows. We moved house twice in just over six months, my beloved cat died, my other cat was diagnosed with diabetes, I spent a week in hospital with a kidney infection and a virus and I became desperately unhappy at work. On the positive side, my little sister got married, my family and I were able to repair relationships that had been fraught and strained for years, we now have a lovely landlord, nice neighbours and are fully settled into our home, we’ve had many wonderful evenings with friends, seen films, shows, been on visits to London, and after years of being conflicted about my profession I made the decision to finally take the risk and quit, handing in my resignation just a few weeks ago.

The blogging community has been with me every step of the way, and never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined just how much Suzie81 Speaks would grow and develop. With over 390,000 views, 11,600 followers, a successful weekly hashtag party on Twitter, monthly sponsors and lots of comments every day, blogging has become a part of my daily life. I’ve been Freshly Pressed, featured on Mumsnet and The Sits Girls on several occasions, one of my posts went viral on Facebook and I’ve loved every minute of it! It has given me confidence, self-belief and the motivation to change things for the better. Better still, I have met people from all over the world that I would now consider to be my friends. People who have listened, empathised and have gone out of their way to offer support, particularly during extremely difficult periods of my life.

To those people (and I make no apologies for the potentially vomit inducing sentiment), thank you for everything.

As a chance to give back, I am hosting a blogiversary party this Saturday. For those of you who wish to participate, simply check out the link below by clicking on the image:

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Hope you can join me then!

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

Looking for new blogs to follow? Why don’t you check out my sponsors – you can find their links in the sidebar of this page

When Parents Get It Right

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Being childless, I cannot claim to know how difficult being a parent is, but I have found on many occasions that I have become agitated by the lack of consideration and discipline that children and young teenagers demonstrate when are out in public, and working with teenagers for nearly ten years, I have witnessed numerous examples where parents have made excuses for their children, rather than addressing poor behaviour that the child should have been made accountable for. While I don’t believe that any children are bad, I have judgements in the past, whether rightly or wrongly, when I have observed parents making these excuses. One of my biggest annoyances is the disruption that is frequently caused by children and teenagers when attempting to watch a movie at the cinema, and I have written about this on several occasions.

However, a story appeared on my Facebook feed this morning that made me want to punch the air and shout a resounding ‘yes!’ when I read it.

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Image: Rebecca Boyd

On Friday night, Rebecca Boyd took her 12 year-old daughter to see the new Cinderella movie. Her husband had just been made redundant from his job and this would be the last film that they would be able to see for a while, and they were hoping for an enjoyable time.

Unfortunately, (as I have personally experienced on many occasions), their evening was repeatedly disrupted by two teenage girls who were misbehaving throughout – kicking the seats, talking, giggling – and this continued even when Boyd asked them to stop. At the end of the movie, Boyd sent her daughter to the car and spoke to the teens outside the cinema, explaining how their behaviour affects others and her husband’s situation.

In an interview given with Yahoo!Parenting, Boyd explained that she didn’t blame the teens parents, despite being annoyed by the girls behaviour.

However, the teens mother was furious… at her children. The girls were at the movie with their brother, who told their mom everything. Kyesha Smith Wood, whose daughter and step-daughter were the teens who has caused the trouble posted this to Facebook:

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Image: Kyesha Smith Wood/ Facebook

The post went viral, and the comments that Wood received were hugely positive for making her children accountable for their actions.

The post eventually made it to Boyd, who was touched by the response and after connecting over Facebook they hit it off. Since then, both women have been interviewed on numerous occasions, and have demonstrated the upmost respect for each other. Wood told AL.com “A lot of times people get nervous about saying something to a stranger’s kids. We as a community need to hear this, that there are parents out there who still believe in old-fashioned methods.”

And the teens? In an interview with ABC 33/40, Wood explained that they were embarrassed.”They’re humiliated, but that’s ok. I told them, ‘you know what? You’re never going to do it again.’ ”

Both women should be absolutely applauded for their handling of the situation, for supporting each other as parents and for making the girls accountable for their actions. With parents like these, I’m sure that all of their children will grow up to be outstanding young people.

Bravo!

What do you think? As a parent, would you react in the same way?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks

Wow

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imageI made the decision on Monday to share the fact that I have quit my job – Suzie81 Speaks was created nearly two years ago for the sole purpose of being able to write down my thoughts, opinions and life experiences – and I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t expecting some sort of reaction to my post after I had pressed the publish button. I’ve known certain bloggers within the WordPress community for nearly two years and in that time they have repeatedly proven to be wonderfully supportive, so I assumed that my revelation would have prompted a few comments from some of my closer online friends.

What I didn’t expect was 48 hours of wonderful chaos. Within minutes of the post going live, the comments and the tweets started to flood in from teaching staff and people involved in the education system. My stats rocketed. I started to receive Facebook and text messages from former colleagues and friends who had read about my decision, despite the fact that I hadn’t shared it on my Facebook page. I checked my email account to find a number of lovely messages from more bloggy friends… I’ve even been given a career suggestion by my friend Steve over at Steve Says – although I’m not sure how feasible that would be!

What has surprised me the most was just how many people feel the same way, and I’ve been utterly fascinated with the stories that people shared with me. It’s so sad that in a profession that was once respected and admired there are now so many people that are unhappy and are finding their physical and mental health being affected by such immense pressure. I found it really inspiring to see so many people who had found a way out and created a different path, particularly those who are now extremely happy in their new roles!

I wanted to say how appreciative I am of all of your support. I’m slowly working my way through all the comments, so please forgive me if I haven’t replied yet! It hasn’t quite sunk in yet, but I’m sure that I will certainly feel better once the Summer term is over. I’ve worked out that I have 60 working days left…

Now I just have to find a new job!

Thank you x

 

Sorry, I’m Not Sorry

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imageIn the last few months I have read a number of wonderful posts. While the content of each was different, I noticed that they all began with the same negative introduction:

You will probably find this boring / You may think that this is rubbish / I doubt anybody will be interested in this…

I have learned over time to try and ignore it – I often find that I am pleasantly surprised by the wonderful writing that follows, but admittedly there are times where I have been put off by these self-deprecating opening sentences – the writer is almost apologising for having a thought or an interest in something before they have even given potential readers a chance to form an opinion about it.

What seems to be the predominant reason for the creation of many blogs is that people have an urge to write and feel that they have something important to say, regardless of the content they create. It may be read by one or two people, it may be read by millions, but I find that lots of bloggers feel that the act of blogging is just as fulfilling as the response to the post itself. So why are so many people apologising for this?

While I am rarely apologetic in the blogging world, it made me think about all of the things that I apologise for on a regular basis in my daily life. Being British, it is a natural part of our vocabulary to use ‘sorry’ as a synonym for ‘excuse me,’ but I have also been known to suffer from anxiety and paranoia which causes me to be naturally apologetic in my conversation. The use of the word ‘sorry’ within these conversations highlights the fact that I feel inadequate and vulnerable, which has the potential to make others feel uncomfortable and there have been many occasions where I have been told to stop it by close family and friends.

Of course, it is important to be genuinely apologetic when our actions have resulted in somebody else being hurt or inconvenienced, but in the spirit of positivity and stepping out of my comfort zone in 2015, here are the things that I’m not sorry for:

1. Instantly removing myself from the company of racists, sexists, and homophobes. I can’t abide those people.

2. Wanting to have a work/life balance. In my 20’s, I lived to work. In my 30’s, I work to live. My physical and mental health has suffered because of it and I realised a while ago that being happy and healthy is much more important than earning a big salary.

3. Feeling the way that I feel about a situation. I cannot control how I feel about something, but what I can control is how I choose to deal with it.

4. Taking some time for me. There is nothing wrong with spending two hours at a time in the bath. A few of my friends think this is ridiculous. I don’t… It’s definitely the best way to spend a Sunday night. Or any night, in fact.

5. Posting pictures of my cats on the blog or any of my social media accounts. I have to look at pictures of my friends children – they are my equivalent, my family. If I have to look at little Billy in his new hat, or little Billy at the park, or little Billy with ice-cream or chocolate all over his face (which are all undeniably cute) then others can look at Daisy in a hat too.

6. Being ‘fussy’ with my food – there are so many who like to comment on my personal culinary tastes. I love tomatoes and tomato ketchup, but dislike tomato soup. I like peas, particularly petite pois, but hate mushy peas. I hate all variants of egg – omelettes, boiled, fried, poached, but really like Spanish omelette. I also like to put chips (and by chips, I mean fries) in my soup. There’s nothing nicer than soup and chips – try it, or at least don’t comment about it when I do.

7. Sobbing hysterically at animal charity adverts on the TV. And at romantic moments in my favourite films and books. And at beautiful cards and letters I have received. In fact, I don’t apologise for crying at any point – crying is good for the soul.

8. Hating, and I know that hate is a strong word, but perfectly acceptable in this situation, everything about the Twilight Saga. Bella Swan is the worst role-model for young impressionable teenage girls and… I’ll stop there, or this post will be twice as long.

9. Adoring karaoke sessions on a Friday night. I’m not exactly going to win the next X Factor, but I can hold a tune and there’s nothing better than having a few drinks and singing my heart out to a crowd of complete strangers. It’s fun and therapeutic.

10. Not wanting to have children or get married yet, despite being in a secure and happy long-term relationship.

11. Removing people from my life that were toxic. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.

12. Taking photographs of everything. I love recording a beautiful moment or a fabulous place.

13. Writing about my battles with mental health issues – it’s still a taboo subject in many areas of society, but I make no apologies when I tell others that I’m struggling.

14. Ringing in sick to work when I’m ill. If I’m ill, I’m ill – there’s no point going in and infecting the entire cohort of staff and students at my school. And when I’m well, I’ll give it 100%, and work most evenings and weekends unpaid.

15. Smoking a cigarette, and thoroughly enjoying it! I don’t do it that often but I know the risks, I don’t do it in people’s personal space, and mind your own business!

16. Not learning to drive. I had lessons when I was 17 years old and I crashed my learner car into a car transporter, and have never been back. Trust me, the world is a safer place without me behind the wheel!

17. Instantly judging someone who is rude to employees working in the service industry – bar and fast-food staff, waiters, retail assistants, baristas… I’ve been there and all are challenging and exhausting roles and those that work within them deserve to be treated with respect.

18. While I’m on the subject of judging others, I’m not sorry for judging those that wear fur for fashion. That’s a whole post in itself…

19. Dressing like a teenage boy. I like jeans and sweaters most of the time. It’s comfortable.

20. Asking for what I want. I’m an adult, I’m polite and respectful and I never demand anything, but as I’ve aged, I have learned to be more articulate in requesting things that I need.

21. Similarly, asking for help. This is something that I have learned to do recently – I used to try and take on everything myself and would find that I couldn’t cope with the pressure. Now, I make no apologies for asking for help from others.

22. Being proud of my achievements. Pride is not to be confused with arrogance – I don’t believe I am better than anyone else, but I proud of things that I have done well.

23. Having a dream, taking the risk and working my hardest to achieve it. Some have been hugely supportive. Others have scoffed. However, my belief is what keeps me going.

It’s important to remember that we don’t owe anyone explanations in the form of apologies. The act of explaining ourselves is often an attempt to justify our actions to another person, as if a decision needs validation. We don’t have to explain ourselves for the way that we choose to live and who we choose to live with. We don’t have to explain our priorities in life and what we do with our time. We don’t have to explain our likes and dislikes, our passions, beliefs, hobbies, interests, ideals and ambitions. We don’t have to explain our decisions to have or to not have children. If what you are doing makes you genuinely happy and fulfilled, you’re doing it right. So for all of these things, I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for liking who I am and how I live. I’m far from perfect, I have a million flaws, but I do my best.

Therefore, I am going to set a challenge both for myself and for you. Stop apologising for having an opinion and wanting to share your thoughts! Don’t begin your posts with a negative statement – send your message into the blogosphere and be proud of it!

What about you? What do you apologise for that you shouldn’t?

You can also find me on Twitter and Tumblr @suzie81blog and don’t forget to visit my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/suzie81speaks, my Pinterest page http://www.pinterest.com/suzie81speaks and my Instagram http://www.instagram.com/suzie81speaks